A/n: I suck for not updating. I was just going through some shit… so here you go. Make sure you read the a/n at the end for an explanation to my lack of updates.

Vamoosing Hearts

Chapter 12

Life has a way of blasting you with a big, nasty middle finger when complacency sets in. Or did I do that to myself?

Nick and I decided to go on a last… date; I guess you could call it that. We drove to the mall and I found myself lost in sad thoughts as we sat in the food court and I picked at my food instead of consuming it.

My eyes wandered towards the little area that holds all of the gumball machines. There were a ton of choices of candy and gum, along with some toy dispensers, and I wasn't sure what I wanted so I stared at them blankly hoping that something will catch my eye.

"Remember those?" Nick's molten lava voice spread over my body like wildfire.

Startled, I looked to him and gave a quick smile before he stood up and walked towards a dispenser with plastic domes filled with jewelry. It was a ton of fake plastic crap and faux gold so hideous that it was laughable. But I remember very clearly throwing fits for quarters when I was younger to get those same fake things.

Some stuff never changes.

I got up and stood next to him. Nick smirked a little and took out a couple of quarters, loading the machine and turning the dial to produce a clear dome with a red top. "Here," he said… all chipper and shit, which made me feel like he was a huge bastard for being so excited about the end of our deal.

I was dying on the inside and he's buying me plastic jewelry to commemorate the moment?

He popped the top and pulled out a gold looking chain with a plastic clear heart dangling from it. Not even waiting for a response, he moved to stand behind me and placed the pendant around my neck. I faced him and pulled on the chain a little to see the heart.

It was really cute.

I effing hate it.

"Thanks," I said quietly.

His lips twitched and he licked them a little, his eyes trained on the heart. "Did you like stuff like this as a kid? I bet you were cute, huh?"

I had to force myself to look away and blink back the rapid tears that were stinging my eyes. It hurts too much. To be forgotten. To be that girl.

"Not really," I replied, clearing my throat.

He grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers, pulling me to him in what I could only assume was one of our final embraces. I couldn't resist the urge to wrap my arms around his torso, or take in the smell of him while I buried my nose into his shirt. I wanted him so badly.

"Come on," he urged me, his voice filled with such happiness that it made my stomach lurch.

It was either that or the pills that I snuck that morning were kicking in. At least the rush would kick in a little and I'd be able to fake happiness for a while, covering it with hyperactivity.

"Where are we going?" I asked, suddenly nervous about this. Why did it have to be this way? Why did our last date together have to be an actual date? In public? Why torture me like this? It wasn't a house party. It wasn't making out at one of our houses. Or sex in a car. This was a real date?

Nick slowed his feet as we approached the doors to the parking lot. "It's a surprise, Miley. You'll like it. I promise."

I tilted my face to look at him and he had the most breathtaking look in his eyes. My heart twisted in my chest and I bit my tongue to stop from telling him that he's free of me. Since it makes him so damn happy.

But instead of leading me to his car, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips. A goodbye kiss, I suppose. It was warm and slow. It was gentle and chaste. This must have been our goodbye.

We heard a couple of people making comments and he pulled away to give me an amused expression. "Let's go."

So I followed, because I was weak when it comes to Nick Jonas. I was at a loss for words and for clear thinking. My heart overrides my brain…

He drove in silence for a few miles and we turned into a dark driveway, his headlights illuminating thick iron gates. Locked with a padlock.

"Let me guess. You're pulling the old 'we ran out of gas' routine?" My eyes searched his face for explanation.

He shook his head no.

"This is illegal, isn't it?"

His grin was illuminating the dark interior of his car. "Follow me."

"No! You're crazy. I don't scale fences. My dad's a cop, remember?" I wasn't budging, crossing my arms defiantly.

"You can do it," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"I didn't say I couldn't. I said I wouldn't." He ignored me and exit the car, opening the trunk and pulling out a back pack.

And now I am intrigued.

Giving in, I exited the car and followed him while he tracked the gates around to where they connected with the start of a brick wall. He stopped when we reached a dumpster and looked over his shoulder to see if I was still there.

"I'll help you up," he insisted, bending his knee to hoist me up on top of the filthy trash container. In moments he was by my side and we both gazed over the wall at the same time that my breath left my body completely.

"Is this a graveyard?" I whispered in awe.

He nodded. "My Gran is buried here." I watched his eyes sadden a bit. "This is everything, you know? Life. Death. Some gravestones in there are for people that lived to be over a hundred. Some only a day."

"Why did want to come here?"

Nick shrugged. "I like to do grave rubbing."

"Robbing?"

"Rubbing," he chuckled. "Tracing paper and crayons? Some of the most beautiful words I've ever read were written about people after they'd passed. I guarantee they never heard them while they were alive, though…It's the saddest form of poetry."

It's this… Nick right here and now. I wanted to freeze him and make him stay this person forever. He can't be two people all the time.

Like me.

I can't do it.

I.

Can't.

"Nick," I started to whisper.

His head turned and he looked concerned. "Are you okay? Your hands are shaky again…you need food. Climb over and we'll eat."

We scrambled over the wall and he lead me in the darkness towards a small gazebo set up near a mausoleum. Quickly unpacking some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches along with a couple of cokes and baby carrots, he set the food I front of me. I shook my head at how proud he looked to have made this.

The air was chilly, but I was warm and my blood was pumping overtime, the beat of my heart forceful against the inside of my chest. I wonder if he could hear it because it was practically the only sound I could make out around us.

"Is it good?" He asked, almost shyly.

"The best," I joked with him through my full cheeks. My stomach was already full and starting to hurt a little, but I was wide awake and jittery, wondering vaguely if he detected my increase in fidgeting.

He barely noticed that I didn't finish my food and soon he had my hand in his, the backpack securely in place and a flashlight pointed ahead of us to lead the way.

We walked in the moonlight around the gravestones and the only conversation that we had for the next hour revolved around how young or old the people were that had been laid to rest beneath our feet. As promised, there were quite a few incredibly gorgeous grave markers with seemingly beautiful words etched into the faces.

But the sadness of Nick's truth made it hard to fully enjoy the moment. These people probably did not feel fully loved while alive. None of them were ever told that they were an 'Adored Brother' or 'Wonderful Mother'. I'm sure that no one looked them in the eye and said, "If you were to die tomorrow, the world would be dim…like countless stars had fallen from the sky."

It's a pity that we don't say what needs to be said to the living.

After a couple of hours, Nick and I made our way back to the gazebo to share what we've found. He smiled broadly, his face flushed even in the darkness and his eyes alight with a twinkle I'd seen very few times.

"Found one that reminded me of you," he spoke quietly, unrolling the paper in his hand.

I bent over the paper and immediately feeling that horrible lurch in my stomach as my throat closed and a lump swells, overtaking my airways.

Thou didst not know, who tottered, wandering on high,
That fate had made thee for the pleasure of the wind,
With those great careless wings,
Nor yet did I.

And there were other things:
It seemed God let thee flutter from His gentle clasp:
Then fearful He had let thee win
Too far beyond Him to be gathered in,
Snatched thee, o'ereager, with ungentle gasp.

"Frost," I breathed.

"It was a stone for a little girl. Clearly taken too soon," he murmured.

Leaning on the table, I hung my head slightly, nausea and dizziness hitting me quickly with the spike of my heart rate.

"Are you alright?" Nick seemed so concerned.

I nodded a little and raised my face to his, trying to see if the real person was there or not. I was afraid I didn't know the difference anymore.

"I don't feel well."

His brows furrowed and he placed a palm on my cheeks. "You feel really warm. Maybe we should get you back?"

"Yeah. That's probably the best idea," I managed to get out without letting my voice crack.

We packed up everything and I took my Frost rubbing, folding it and placing it in my pocket, knowing that it would be the last thing I get from him. After tonight he would be just a friend. We'd accomplished what we set out to do.

Mostly.

He parked in front of my house and gazed passed my face towards the front door. "Want me to walk you to the door?"

I shook my head no slowly. "It's not necessary." My lip was trembling and the sheer magnitude of this moment was making me unravel.

"Want me to come back later?"

My laugh was quiet and hollow. "I might be contagious."

"Oh."

The silence was hanging there between us and I wanted to kick and scream, or grab hold of him and beg him to keep me instead of letting me go. I didn't know what he wanted or needed, but I was sure I could never be it.

Taking a deep breath, he ran a hand across mine and pulled my fingers to his lips. "About tomorrow…"

My stomach rolled and flipped, and I made a weird gurgling sound before snatching my hand from his and throwing the car door open. And in my second most embarrassing display to date, I throw up what little food I have in my stomach.

The first was when I actually threw up in his car. Thank God that didn't happen again.

Nick made a move like he was going to help me and I held out my hand, a silent gesture that he must know all too well.

"I'll call you tomorrow morning," I gasped. "We'll talk then, okay?"

"Okay…" He's saying the words but not moving and I was too worked up to talk to him now. So I turned and ran up the steps to my front door, racing inside and locking the latch behind me. My sister was asleep on the couch and my dad was on patrol; that I was thankful for.

The stairs creaked under my feet and I ignored it, wanting only one thing:

To lock my window and seal the end of our deal.

I got sick with the flu. Nick called and texted me a countless number of times. I ignored every call and every text. I couldn't talk to him. By then I just wanted to get the "break up" over with and move on.

Because I was sick, I was out of school all week. Which meant Nick and I were still together in the eyes of the student body. I spent the weekend recovering and doing makeup work… Nick had stopped trying to get in touch by Saturday.

But it was Sunday… Sunday when he fucked things up… in the most perfect way possible.

Because that is exactly what Nick Jonas would do.

Q: Ever have that feeling of never wanting something to end, but know that is has to?

A/n: I didn't edit it. I didn't want to upload it like this.. but I kept you all waiting long enough… So it's short because I felt bad. I've just been going through so shit and had no inspiration at all.

I lost my inner Miley for a few weeks :[ I'm so sorry.

Hopefully I can get the next chapter out sooner… and have it be lengthier.

Love you guys. You keep my sane and smiling.