A/n: I was so out of line to post chapter 15 when I did… it was so not ready. GAH!
Okay, forgive me for that. Haha.
Shout out to Julia aka gobackintohisarms just because she's awesome and you guys should go check out her stories. :D
Now Nick's POV… go ahead and laugh at his thoughts… I love writing them. : )
Vamoosing Hearts
Chapter 16
Nick POV
Do you have any idea how ridiculously hard it is not to screw her twenty-four hours a day? Pun effing intended.
It's done. We did it and now it's all I can think about. Like I can taste it every time I look at her. If I was as big of a bastard as I pretend to be, she would have had me up in her four times that night. I couldn't look at her for longer than a few minutes without remembering how she felt or sounded.
As it stands, it's 3 months later and I've allowed myself to indulge in her only three times more. Trust me…I wanted it a lot more than that. But she was busy with a semester project and I just really, really, wanted that week to be over because then we could do it all the damn time and I wouldn't feel bad about the fact that I was taking her away from studying.
The second time was in the car after school…she was just sitting in the car listening to the radio and I just had to…had to…pull off of the road onto an abandoned driveway and shove her skirt up around her hips to get inside of her.
The third time was one that made me feel kind of bad because we were supposed to be studying, but she was sitting on her bed with her hair twirling and her lip in between her teeth, and I just wanted to feel her lips on my dick. It was so quiet and I wanted to make so much noise because she was so good at blowjobs. And then when I could finally get in between her thighs I almost didn't last a full two minutes. Not my proudest moment, but the girl is the best I've ever had and she's so comfortable with herself when we're alone…it's just a massive turn on.
And the fourth time was the night of prom… go figure, right? She just looked so… sexy in that red dress and it brought out her eyes so beautifully. And I just wanted to pull her into my bed and never let her leave because she is just so… amazing.
At school we went about our schedules as usual, as if our little quarrel had never happened. Hemsworth had eventually dropped this grudge against me, as he usually did in those scenarios. I was cool with the rest of our friends, except for Selena who was hell bent on making me pay for how I "betrayed" Miley at the party. She didn't matter much in my world, though. As long as David was still speaking to me, I was fine.
Lunch was comfortable and Miley was herself. She wasn't pretending to be someone she wasn't. She really was my girlfriend and she really was friends with my friends; giggling with the girls and talking about nonsense that I knew she didn't care about. She'd told me that Jake Ryan was still calling her and I told her that he knew the Guy Code and needed to watch himself or else he'd be in a world of hurt.
She thought that was ridiculously sexy and I got a shower and hand job out of that display of manly possessiveness.
We were functioning as a real couple. Nothing else had changed on the outside as far as anyone else was concerned, we were back to acting how we did during the deal… but more couple-ish. Between the two of us the change was obvious. She told me she loved me. She told me it was okay that I couldn't say it back… she told me she would wait for me. I guess in her eyes I was worth waiting for. I don't know why though. But the fact that she was willing to throw it out there, fully knowing I couldn't return that feeling… I knew she was worth it. She was worth everything.
Her window was always unlocked and I didn't spend one night in my house. We were together and I watched over her, making sure that she was exhibiting the behavior of the girl I was… falling for…not the fake, plastic thing that she was trying to be at the start of the deal.
And even though she still did things at school to fit in, I could see that sliver of my Miley that came out to play and laugh in private. The one that would discuss art with me or listen to music that I thought she'd like.
She was becoming my world.
And yet, beneath all of that… I still couldn't find it in me to know how to love her. It hurts. I'm not gonna lie. I mean, I like her… a lot, but I don't know what it feels like to love… nobody ever taught me to love… and so I just… don't.
When the last bell rang on the last day of school, I walked down the hall towards her classroom and when she cleared the door, I caught her hand in mine and pulled her to my chest to kiss her. There were lame sounds coming from the idiots walking down the hall, and I smiled against her lips as I recognized the sound of Jake's voice.
She pulled away and shook her head, amused. "Territory pisser."
"Damn right," I laughed and kissed her forehead. "You're going to the mall with Demi?" She nodded. "Okay. I'll meet you there for dinner at eight." I smiled at her and saw something flash behind her eyes before she let a smile form on her lips.
"Yeah. Perfect."
I moved some of her hair from her shoulder and tucked the strands behind her ear with a sigh. Bending to kiss her neck, I whispered against her skin, "See you then, beautiful girl."
She let out a startled breath and nodded slightly. "Bye, Nick…"
I watch as she walks away and smile to myself. How did I get so lucky?
"She sure does have you hooked," I turn around to see Joe approaching me and I laugh.
"You have no idea…" I trail off and Joe smirks as we begin to walk to our cars.
"Can I ask you something?" Oh boy, a question from Joe… this ought to be good.
"Go for it."
"What makes Miley different from the other girls? I mean… why settle on her, specifically?" I look at him once then face forward and bite my lip in thought.
"Joe, I could ask you the same thing about Demi," I say and he sighs, obviously not pleased with my answer.
"Well yeah, but Demi and I have been together for like… ever. But you've never really committed before, you know? I mean, Cheyenne was a perfect example of that," I look at him incredulously as we get to our cars.
"Don't… talk about her," I say and he rolls his eyes.
"Okay, sorry, man. But still, why Miley? You're not the relationship type… no offence." He wasn't going to give this up.
"Look Miley is different. Okay? That's just it. She's not a female version of me. She's never just slept around, she's not a fake. She's real and I like her and she likes me, so…" I explain and Joe nodded. He looked at me speculatively for a minute and I sighed as I opened my door.
"What?"
"Do you love her?" The question caught me off guard as he leaned against his car and looked at me waiting for an answer.
"I-I'm… I'm not in lo-love with her… I mean I uhm, I uh, I like her… a lot. I really like her. Well like is an understatement but love is… I- I don't know! Okay? I don't know," I say frustrated with my answer. I sounded like an idiot and Joe just stared at me all amused.
"Does she know that?" He asks, causing me to roll my eyes.
"Yeah… she knows how I feel about her," I say softly, wondering if she really does know.
"Well she loves you. I can tell."
"Oh yeah? How?"
"It's the way she looks at you, Nick. It's the way Demi looks at me. And the way Selena looks at her diet death pills," he laughs at his own joke and slams his fist down on the roof of his car.
"You're such a jackass," I chuckle and he shrugs.
"It's true."
"David would kill you if he heard you say that," I tell him and he makes a face and shrugs again.
"Ah, well. You comin' over?" He asks and I nod.
"Yeah, sure. I just gotta head home real quick, but I'll come by for a few hours before I meet Miley at the mall," I tell him and he nods as he gets into his car.
I get in my car and sigh as his words linger in my mind.
"Do you love her?"
Do I love her?
Do I?
I get to the mall right at eight and spotted them sitting down in the food court. Demi waved to me and I smiled so I approach them smoothly.
"Hey guys," I smile at them and they both stand up to greet me. Miley smiled and I pulled her in for a quick kiss. It could've lasted longer… if Demi didn't coo over us.
I look at her, confused by her expression… she looked… sad?
"Bye Demi…" Miley says through her teeth and Demi sighed before waving goodbye and leaving.
"What's with her?" I ask, taking Miley's hand in mine as we began to walk to Subway.
"She's just…" I didn't catch the last of what she said, but I figure it's not important so I ignore it as she moves onto the next topic. "So how are you?"
"Good, good. I actually have some great news," I announce to her and she smiled at me confused.
"Really? And what great news would that be?" She asks.
"Well, you know how I've been debating which school I wanna go to?" I start, watching as she nods and smiles at me. "I'm choosing that art school in Maine. I'm going to college for art!" I exclaim and her jaw drops as her eyes go wide and a smile forms on her face.
"Oh my God, Nick that's so great!" She wraps my arms around me tightly and squeals. "See I told you that you didn't have to keep your talent hidden! I'm so proud of you!" Her lips met mine is a soft kiss and I smiled as I felt her smile into it.
She was right. I didn't have to keep it hidden and so she persuaded me into showing people and I did. Everyone knew that I was an artist and it made me feel good. "I wouldn't have even gotten in if it weren't for you… I owe you." I grabbed her hand and she shook her head.
"You owe me nothing," she says softly and squeezes my hand.
"So, what do you say we grab something to eat, and then head back to my house? My parents won't be home till later, they have a business dinner," I tell her, pulling her closer to me as I put my arm around her shoulder.
"That sounds great," she smiles at me and I kiss the top of her head as we walk into the Subway line.
She was starting to act a little… not herself as the night went on. She was really quiet and only talked when I said something to her. She wasn't starting any conversation and she looked… nervous.
"You okay?" I ask as I sat down next to her on the couch in my room. Her hands were fidgeting and it was starting to piss me off so I grabbed them so they would stop. She just nodded and smiled at me. But I know better. It was a fake smile.
"Mhm, why?" She asks, and she was so quiet I almost didn't hear her.
"You're just… quiet. Something bothering you?" I pine and she took a deep breath and smiled refreshingly.
"No. Nothing," she nodded slightly and I just kinda stared at her, waiting for her to say something else.
If she was back on those pills I was about to kill Selena. I can't imagine what would be bothering her other than the fact that I chose to go to a college across… the country.
I am an idiot. She's upset because I'm leaving her. Shit…
But then she pressed her lips against mine and every thought just disappeared from my mind. I eagerly return the kiss and gently push her down on the couch as my hand wanders under her shirt, feeling every inch of her stomach.
Why is she always so damn soft?
"Nick," she pulls away, causing my lips to land on her jaw, so I trail kisses down her neck and back to her lips.
It just occurs to me that she said my name so I look at her and smile. "Hmm?"
She didn't say anything, she just stared at me, chewing on her bottom lip and I was becoming convinced that something was bothering her. "Are you sure there's nothing wrong?"
She nods quickly and kisses me again, biting my bottom lip gently. And suddenly I can't concentrate on anything other than getting her damn clothes off because they were in my way. I allow my hand to trail up her shit and push her bra out of the way, but her hands grab my elbow and pushed my hand out of her shirt completely.
I won't let it get to me. It's whatever…
Instead, I pull her hips closer to me and lift her leg to wrap around my waist. Our kissing becomes fiercer and I can't help but grind my hips into her once before I make my way to the button on her jeans. To my dismay, she pushes my hand away and leaned away from me slightly.
Now I was gonna start taking it personally.
I stopped what I was doing and look at her slightly offended. "Am I really that repulsing?" I joke.
"No, no! I just… let's just take it slow tonight…" Her voice fades as our lips meet and she tastes so sweet. So Mileyish. That doesn't make sense but I can't expect it to because when I'm with her I can't think straight.
I tug on her bottom lip and she trails her hand down my chest and passed my waist. She runs her hand over my jeans, catching me off guard. I pull away and sigh deeply, then quickly reattached our lips, pulling her as close to me as I could.
How is it that she makes me feel so… needy. No other girl has ever made me feel the way she does and it drives me insane but at the same time I want to always feel this way.
She suddenly moved her hand to my shoulder and pulled away from me.
Was this girl serious right now?
She got me all worked up and shit just to change her mind every two minutes.
I sigh and look at her pleadingly. "Miley…" I breathe out, "It's been like… three weeks," I informed her of the last time we actually had sex and then mentally beat the shit out of myself for thinking about it, making me even more turned on than I was… thinking about how she felt, sounded, tasted… so amazing.
Dammit Nick, stop!
"I know," she says, looking slightly ashamed, she looked away.
"I miss you…" I tell her honestly and tilted her chin so she was facing me again. "Like really, really miss you," I tried my best to get across what I meant and she slightly frowned.
"I know… I miss you, too," she groans and brings her hands to her face, rubbing her eyes, then placing a hand on my cheek, caressing my face.
"Then why do you keep stopping me? Why do you keep stopping yourself?" I ask and her hand travels down my neck and my chest, landing on her side… as if she just needed to touch me, but didn't want anything more than some type of physical contact.
"We need to talk," the words I never wanted to hear in my life fell from her lips so gracefully; it was weird because it felt like a damn knife in my back. I let out a gust of air and cursed, sitting up on the couch. She sat up as well, leaning against the arm rest and taking my hand in hers.
Should her touch affect me the way it does? Making my breath stop and my stomach feel like it's filled with helium…
What the hell is this girl doing to me?
"About what?" I ask, trying my best to hide emotion.
"We graduate… tomorrow, Nick…" I roll my eyes at that one.
"No," I shake my head and turn to her. "We're not gonna be one of those couples that breaks up because of college… we're not," I demand and she releases a sigh.
"You're leaving, Nick. You're going to Maine… and I'm…" She stops short and looks at me nervously.
Something is going on and I don't like it.
"You're what?" I feel angry now.
"I'm having these feelings... feelings I shouldn't be having..." The words come slowly and her eyes are just burning a hole through me.
"What feelings?" If they are feelings for Hemsworth or Jake Ryan, I suspect that I'll be on the ten o'clock news for murder.
"Feelings that we won't work out in two different places..." She explains and I try to act as calm as I can. "So I think we should break up..." Was she serious?
I stare at her for a good ten seconds, studying her features, and finally shake my head. "No."
"You don't exactly get to decide..." I look at her incredulously.
"Well then why can you?" I spit out, a little harsher than I intended.
"Stop making this so complicated..." Her eyes were begging me, so I let my head fall back against the couch in defeat.
"I can't believe this... Are you serious right now?" Did my voice sound as broken as I felt?
I look at her again and she sighs, "I just need some time... to think."
I bite my tongue and suddenly I feel like I'm actually going to cry. But I don't because how pathetic would that be?
"Okay... I respect that," I tell her and she smiles sadly.
"Thank you... I need to go now. We've got a big day tomorrow," She stood up quickly, walking to the door and it takes me a second to find the feeling in my legs because my whole body is suddenly numb. I get up slowly and grab my car keys off my desk before leaving my room with Miley right behind me.
I can't shake this feeling. My stomach feels like it has about twenty pounds of lead in it and I'm surprised I made it from the second floor out to my car because I still can't feel any part of my body.
Is this what being dumped feels like?
I wouldn't know because I've never been dumped… until now. And it fucking sucks.
Miley kept shifting uncomfortably and it was starting to aggravate me. I guess it's because I'm driving so slow. Jeez, was she really in that big of a hurry to get away from me?
I pull into her driveway and the thought of kissing her passes through my mind. Would she get mad? I mean… she said she needed time… but I'm Nick Jonas and I could easily change her mind…
I realize that I subconsciously got a little close to her. No… I can't manipulate her. I breathe in and breathe out before settling back into my seat.
"So what are we? Together? Not together? On a break? What?" I question and she sighs, staring at me, biting her bottom lip all seductive.
Damn you, Miley…
"We're taking time…" The hell we are.
"No. You're taking time. I'm perfectly fine."
"Look-,"
I cut her off angrily. "It's the middle of June, Miley! I'm not leaving until August. Why do we have to break up now?"
She ignores what I said and scoffed. "Thanks for the ride, I'll see you tomorrow at graduation," the words leave her mouth quickly as she gets out of my car. I wince as the door slams and close my eyes.
What the fuck did I even do?
I had to turn my phone off to keep myself from calling and texting her. I didn't want to be annoying. But she left with the dumbest excuse… there has to be a real reason why she broke up with me…
I didn't screw any other girls.
I wasn't mean to her.
I never lied.
We had fun together… we were perfectly fine.
I just wish I knew what went wrong…
I stayed up most of the night, tossing and turning. Not being able to sleep in general. I paced my room for an hour. Then I took out my drawing pad and attempted to create something worth looking at, but I couldn't draw without thinking about her! So I painted instead. That didn't work.
It got to the point where I thought I was having an anxiety attack so I stole my mom's Xanax because I needed to calm the fuck down. I finally fell asleep around three in the morning… which is why I'm sitting here nearly falling asleep at my high school graduation.
The valedictorian just gave the most boring speech ever. She just talked about how these were the best years of our life up to date and the future has more to offer and how we're all going to remember each other no matter what happens… and other pointless shit that I don't care about. I'm in a bad mood because I was dumped with a half-ass explanation and I barely slept last night.
To be honest I just wanna get really drunk, really fast…
I watch as Miley takes pictures with her family and I watch as she smiles all happy and hugs her grandparents and her dad and her sister…
I watch as she looks happy without me. I mean I gave her a smile when everyone was first arriving at the school… but she just did that sexy lip bite thing she tortures me with and turned her attention to some chick in our chem class.
My dad puts his arm around my shoulder and I'm in a haze as my mom takes a picture of us. Was I even smiling? Whatever.
I suddenly hear Demi and Joe running over to me and Joe jumps onto me and howls, rubbing his hand all through my hair.
"We're finally graduated, man!" He exclaims and David and Selena appear next to them.
"Picture time!" Demi announces and hands my mom her camera. I can't help but think that this is all wrong as I look to my left and right and see Joe, Demi, David and Selena, but no Miley.
She deserved to be in the picture, too.
I can't even find my voice. I just hear people talking to me. I don't have anything to say, so that's good. I don't say anything back, I just throw random expressions at them, hoping they go along with whatever they are babbling on about.
My eyes keep going back to Miley, though. And soon Demi and Selena find their way to her and snap a picture and then David and Joe jump in and they all look so happy and I'm just over here, acting like a mute retard.
I watch as her sister snaps a picture and I can see her smile fade as her eyes meet mine and I turn to my grandfather.
"Nick, time to go, your aunt and uncle are waiting at the house," I turn at the sound of my mom's voice and nod. Not taking one look back at where my eyes were five seconds prior.
Around 10 I started to drift from my family and went up to my room. I was beyond tired of talking about college and getting scolded by my family for not telling them I like to draw and paint…
Well maybe if you paid a spec of attention…
So I locked myself in my room and stared at my ceiling. But all I can think about is Miley.
I thought about her so much it was sick. I need to be taken to a mental institution because there is no way someone should think about a person this much.
But I couldn't stop thinking about her and I won't stop and quite frankly, I don't really wanna stop.
I grab my phone and send her a text.
Can we talk?
I just wanted to understand what was really going on.
About what?
Gee, Miley, I don't fucking know. Maybe how you just decided to break up with me for no good reason?
Us.
I refrained from being a complete dick.
I wait patiently for an answer. Nothing. Seriously? She's gonna play that game? So I decide to take the roll of annoying ex-boyfriend.
Can I come by tonight? I don't like not being with you.
I hate sleeping in a bed without her. I hate not knowing if she's safe. I hate not being able to smell her hair or feel how soft she is or taste her whenever I want.
It's only been a day and I've already turned whack.
No. Goodbye.
My mouth hangs open as her last text comes through. Did I seriously do something wrong? Was she mad because I gave her the space that she asked for? Was she expecting me to come over anyway?
Why are girls so damn complicated?
I have half a mind to run to her house and climb her tree to see her.
The rest of the night goes by so slowly that it seems as if time has actually begun to stand still. I'm staring at the walls. I'm biding my time until I can see Miley again.
You'd think I'd be out partying, but that shit isn't even fun anymore.
For the first time in a long time, I am awake to see the sun rise. And even though I'm exhausted, it seems like a good sign of some sort. Not that I believe in that kind of stuff. But, still.
Trudging down the stairs to the kitchen, I open the fridge and peer inside to see what I can make for breakfast. There's everything I could possibly fathom to eat in the depths of the refrigerator, and I realize that too many choices makes me unable to make one at all. I close the door and grab some cereal from the pantry instead, barely paying attention to what I'm eating.
Something is wrong. I can feel it.
"Hey, sweetheart."
I'm caught off guard by the sound of my mother's voice and I drop my spoon with a loud clank that makes me wince. "G'morning," I mutter.
She leans over the counter, worry creasing her flawless features. It's a little crazy how attractive my parents are. Well, I had to get my good looks from somewhere.
"You look terrible," she whispers and I snort at her candor.
"Thanks."
She's graceful as she moves about the kitchen making coffee. "Is anything wrong?"
"I don't know," I tell her honestly.
"Is it about a girl?" She gives me the "Mom brow" and I roll my eyes. "Come on. You can tell me, Nicholas. I'm not a stick in the mud."
"Yeah, but you use phrases like 'stick in the mud'. What am I supposed to do with that?" I chug the remaining milk from the bottom of my bowl and stand to put it in the dishwasher.
"Is it about Miley?"
I turn so fast that I drop my bowl on the floor and it shatters, skittering across the floor and landing all around my feet.
"What?" I ask her, thinking I've made it up in my head.
She looks at me strangely and tilts her head. "Miley Cyrus? The girl you were with at the park with a few days ago? I saw you kissing her, so I didn't want to bother you. I was with a client too, and then you guys were obviously avoiding each other last night…" She stoops to pick up the ceramic bowl pieces, but I stop her, pulling her upright to look in her eyes.
"How do you know about Miley, Mom?" I never told her I had a girlfriend. You know, with my parents never being home and whatnot we didn't really speak. I thought they had no idea… besides that one time when Miley and I were booking it out of my house, but that was months ago… did she really remember that one little moment?
Her smile is fleeting and suddenly she looks uneasy. "Nick…you and Miley were best friends for almost two years before her mom died and her dad took off with her. She came over all the time…"
My head begins to fog and I can feel my cereal working its way back up my throat. "You're wrong. Miley just moved here a year ago…"
Mom chuckles and shakes me off, stepping back a foot. "No, sweetheart. She just moved back a year ago. I thought you knew?"
I can only shake my head no in response. I can't focus on anything; my eyes are blurry and my fists are clenching.
"I see her dad at the court house sometimes between cases. He showed me pictures of Miley…come on, son. She looks exactly the same."
I'm falling. The cavernous hole of lies is opening up and turning me sideways and I can't find anything to hold on to.
That's why she seems so familiar.
That's why the dreams are more and more prevalent since we started this agreement.
That's why I feel like I know her.
Because I do.
"I don't believe you." I look at her hopelessly. My mother doesn't lie.
She's not lying.
"You cried for a week. Then you got mad and burned everything relating to her. Said you didn't want to have anything to remind you of her. Our doctor said it was irrational, but it was your way of dealing with her loss." Her eyes were filling with tears and I shook my head back and forth, trying to rid myself of the memories.
It was Miley. And now I could see her. She was running into the storm towards my swing set, climbing up the slide, then falling. I ran after her and dragged her inside. And this time, as my mind unveiled the images, I could see her entire face. Her mouth. Her cheeks. Her eyes. All of it. It was Miley…
"She didn't go by that name, though. It was something else…"
I look up and blink hard as she thinks.
"Destiny Hope."
The floor slides out from beneath my feet and I feel like I've been punched in the gut. No air. No words. No thought.
"I gotta go," I gasp, turning quickly and stumbling out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
"Nick! Are you okay?" My mother was yelling, but I couldn't respond.
No, I wasn't okay.
The girl…THE GIRL I had repressed memories of; the one I dreamt about and that haunted my dreams for over eight years…was the same girl who blackmailed me into being friends. Lovers.
I had wanted her for so long and now here she was.
But she wasn't.
It was wrong.
I'd manipulated her.
I'd changed her and used her.
She was the best friend I'd ever had. And the only person to ever break me.
"She's wrong," I choke out, sliding down the door until I'm on the floor. "She's mistaken. It can't be."
I'm unsure of whether to be angry or relieved. The angel of my dreams is here, and I have her. But she knew the entire time.
Was she waiting on me to figure it out by myself? Why didn't she just say? Did she not feel the same way about me as I felt about her when we were little?
Memories rush at me in a torrent, my head spinning and pictures flowing like water from a broken dam. I could see everything. Everything.
Oh, no.
What have we done?
Lurching to my feet, I dive for my phone. I call her five times and it goes straight to voicemail each time.
She's done.
She's done.
I didn't remember her in time and she's given up.
I refuse to text her or leave a message. That's the coward's way. It's me and her. We need to talk but she won't answer her phone.
Frantic, I shower and dress. I'm going to her house.
We have to talk.
We have to talk.
I pull into her driveway and rush to her door, knocking frantically. Her dad appeared in the door frame, looking confused.
"Nick? What are you doing here?"
"I need to talk to Miley, is she here?" I said urgently and he shook his head slowly.
"No… she left for the airport about an hour ago… she said she was going to say goodbye to Demi and Selena and then you were…" his voice fades as I zone out.
Airport? What? She was leaving? Why didn't she tell me? Is this why she broke up with me? Or was it because she was giving up on me? It's all making sense now. I couldn't love her and I couldn't remember her. I couldn't give her what she wanted and now she was done. Forever.
"Nick, you alright son? You look like you're gonna pass out," I refocus back to her dad and shake my head a little.
"No… yeah… uhm, fine," I clear my throat when I realize I'm barely audible. "I'm fine… uhm…" I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I signal a goodbye and walk back to my car.
Should I be driving? I feel like I'm in a dream. This doesn't feel right. It's all wrong. I pull out quickly and go on route to the airport while dialing Demi's number.
"Hey Nick, what's up?" She sounds so chill. So calm. How can she be calm right now!
"Where's Miley going?" I say harshly, wincing at my own tone. Demi becomes silent on the other line and it frustrates the hell out of me. She knew. She knew and she didn't tell me. "Demi, where the hell is she going?"
"She didn't tell you?" Her voice is small and it makes me feel guilty for blowing up at her. "Shit, Nick. I thought you knew… she said she was gonna tell you… I can't believe she lied to me. She really didn't tell you at all? Oh my God. Now I feel all bad because I should've told you. I knew I should've told you when she told me-," her rambling was pissing me off so I interrupted her.
"Demi, shut up! Just tell me where she's going! What time is her flight?" My voice cracked and I was just getting to a point where I wanted to chuck my phone out the window and drive off a cliff.
"She's going to London! Her flight leaves at noon." LONDON?
"ENGLAND? London, England!" I could feel my head starting to explode. This was stressing me out and I don't know how I was so stupid! Of course she was going to England… how could I not know that! That's all she ever talked about when we were younger!
"I'm so sorry…" Demi's voice was sympathetic and I sighed.
"You have nothing to be sorry about," I said and the phone got quiet.
"Well I assume you're going after her… so good luck… and tell me a.s.a.p. if she decides to stay!" She exclaimed and I rolled my eyes.
"Mhm," was all I said and hung up. I'm kinda pissed Demi said that… now there's a piece of me that thinks she won't go. But she will. I know her. I know her better than anybody and she's gonna go.
Nothing I do will stop her. Her mind is set. I'm too late. But it's worth a shot, right?
I call her once more… straight to voice mail. Why did she turn her phone off? Why didn't she tell me she was leaving? Did she think I wouldn't notice or something? This was crazy!
About an hour later I get to the airport. I think I just about accomplished the shittiest parking job ever and I better not get a ticket for it…
Last time I got a ticket my world was flipped upside down.
I practically run into the airport. I have 30 minutes to find her and stop her from leaving. I search frantically, my eyes going in every direction but I'm having no luck.
I feel like my heart is gonna burst right through my chest and I suddenly feel sick. I can't find her and now I'm standing in the middle of the airport, circling around like a mad man and tripping over my own two feet.
She can't leave… if she leaves I don't know what I'll do. My life will go back to partying and meaningless sex and being a dark, empty void. She came back into my life and it was like I could suddenly see light. I didn't feel alone and like a waste of space. When she came dancing into my life I felt like… I could feel. Like I actually had some emotion in me.
She made me feel.
But now she's probably boarding her flight. She's leaving everything behind. She's leaving me behind. She's leaving us behind.
I close my eyes longingly and take in a deep breath. I'll get myself together and just leave. I probably look like a psycho right now. I breathe out and open my eyes and…
She's there.
"Miley!" I call out slightly loud. She's standing with her back to me; two bags are at her feet. She turns around and her mouth parts when she sees me.
I take a step towards her and open my mouth to talk. I sigh before trying again.
The words come out hopelessly. "What the hell are you doing? You can't just leave…"
Q: Has one person every changed your life in such a huge way, they actually changed who you are as a person?
A/n: hmmm one chapter left… haven't decided if there will be an epilogue or not…
PS: I'm posting this at 3:12 am… I apologize for typos or weird sentences and shit, I am half asleep.
Playlist part DEUX! (starring my faves)
See You In Another Life by Miley Cyrus *
Terrified by Katharine McPhee
My Window by Jake Epstein *
Dust by Jake Epstein
Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol *
All We Are by OneRepublic *
Teenage Dream by Katy Perry
Taking Chances by Kara DioGuardi
I Fall Down by Josh Golden *
Pretty Little Face by Josh Golden
Konstantine by Something Corporate *
My Heart Will Wait by Joe Brooks *
Stolen by Dashboard Confessional
Suggestions by Orelia Has Orchestra *
Sweet Disposition by the Temper Trap *
Run by Snow Patrol
Stay by Safetysuit *
Ride by Cary Brothers *
Falling Slowly version by Lee DeWyze and Crystal Bowersox
These Four Walls by Miley Cyrus *
Whatshername by Green Day
We Love Like Vampires by Sparks the Rescue ****************** (I really love this song)