Down the Rabbit Hole

by

icedpandacookies (Erin - Ravenclaw)

Character -Luna Lovegood

Fairytale - Alice in Wonderland

I spotted the rabbit disappearing behind a large bush with its buds just appearing and two or three white flowers poking their heads out. He was dressed in a smart maroon waistcoat with a matching bow tie, monocle, pocket watch and a starched and monogrammed handkerchief. That's how I first knew that it must have been a dream: as everyone knows, only black and brown rabbits dress in men's formal wear; white rabbits, like this one, much prefer casual sportswear, particularly plaid v-neck tank tops and plus-fours. Still, it was such a very good dream that I decided not to try and wake up, but simply let it run its course.

I followed the rabbit behind the bush, but found that it had vanished. I looked around a little, took a step forward, and disappeared down a precisely me-shaped hole, concealed under the lower branches of the aforementioned bush.

For the first few moments of the fall, it was too dark to make out my surroundings, but all of a sudden the tunnel was lit with a strange greenish light and I could see my way.

I imagined I must be falling very slowly, for I had plenty of time to peruse the thing around me as I tumbled. The walls were lined with strange cabinet and shelves, all filled with a strange collection of objects, some magical and some muggle: there was a large quantity of willowbone china, decorated in pure, dark blue; as well as the various items of clothing and other possessions I had lost throughout my time at Hogwarts - seven years worth of shoes, for instance, and my models of the Blibbering Humdinger and the Crumple-Horned Snorcack.

I continued to fall for some time, tumbling end over end, further and further down into the earth. I was just settling down for a very long wait when I landed on the ground with a hump, my petticoats floating upwards.

Wait a moment. I had been wearing jeans just a moment ago. How had I come to be dressed in a dark blue knee-length dress, with filmy white petticoats lapping at my knees? I didn't understand.

As I began to take in more and more of my surroundings, it also appeared to be the case that I was very, very small. A huge, glass-topped table towered above me, a large pot of what smelt like irish Stew sitting on top of it.

A huge oak cabinet with fancily engraved, dark-stained doors towered over me, oppressive but alluring all at once. I wandered over, wanting to see what was inside, but found I was much too small to reach the handles. I jumped, but to no avail. I remained stubbornly tiny and unable to open the doors.

After several moments of contemplation, I noticed a ladder propped against the opposite wall. How convenient; but then, this was a dream. Things were supposed to be convenient.

But when I dragged the ladder over to the cabinet, I found it was too small to reach the handles. I needed something else...a box or book, anything to add a little height...

Just a wish or two later, a pair of red high-heeled shoes appeared on the table. Once again, very convenient. I could scarcely have designed this dream better if I'd been awake to do so. Because, of course, this was a dream. It just couldn't be real...there were too many inaccuracies, too many things wrong. The rabbit's attire was just a case in point.

Speaking of which, where was that rabbit? He appeared to have simply vanished. I had to assume, as there were no other points of egress, that he had entered the cabinet; and that meant, unless he was still stood in there, waiting for me to leave (which somehow seemed rather unlikely, as there was, as I have said, no other way out), that the cabinet was a Vanishing Cabinet. Where it led to, however, I did not know...all the more reason to don the heels and investigate for myself.

The Vanishing Cabinet's twin was in the Forbidden Forest - but not quite as I knew it. The colours were brighter, everything was sharper and more in focus. And the white rabbit was disappearing into the distance, a set of golf clubs slung over his back and a worried expression on his face. "I'm late, I'm late! I'm oh, so very late!" he cried.

"Mr Rabbit! Oh, Mr Rabbit!" I called after him. "What are you late for?"

"I don't see how it's any of your business, young lady," he said, in the sneering drawl of Draco Malfoy. He didn't turn towards me, but kept hurrying away, the bag of clubs bouncing on his back.

Well. The nerve of some people. I stalked off in the opposite direction, muttering under my breath about the degenerate state of the world.

I very quickly became completely and utterly lost, and so blundered around the forest until I came to a fork in the path; there, I found two identical ginger cats hanging in mid-air and grinning wickedly at me.

"Hello Luna," they said in unison, their equally identical grins growing broader. I didn't bother asking how they knew my name - lots of people seem to. Instead, I just asked them which way I should go.

"Well, that depends-" one said.

"-on which way you want to go," finished the other.

I gave them the sort of look that ordinarily could flay flesh from bones, but to no avail. They persisted in grinning cockily at me until I gave up, and said to them, "Well, I don't know where I want to go, because I don't know where anything is. I would just like to know how to go somewhere."

They looked slightly stung, but recovered so quickly that I doubted my own eyes.

"Oh, in that case," they said togther, their voices hitting the exact same nuances on every word, "then you should go..."

"Left," said the right-hand cat.

"No, right," said the left-hand cat.

"Left."

"Right!"

It looked as though a fight was brewing, so I decided to step in before things got violent.

"Can you tell me," I said, rather more loudly than I am accustomed to speaking, "what lies at the end of each road? That will save you arguing."

The two of them shared a look, then nodded at each other.

"Down the right road-"

"-lies the Hatter's house, and down the left-"

"-lies the caterpillar."

Hmmm. Decisions. I thanked the pair of them, and watched, unalarmed, as they disappeared into thin air.

Now, which way to go? Right...or left? Left. Yes, definitly left, at least at first.

I set off down the left hand road, delighting in the sunshine in the trees and the melodious calls of the exotic birds perched in the trees. Not long afterwards, I arrived in a small clearing, empty apart from a small red toadstool set in the middle of the empty space. I only stopped because I noticed a small wooded signed, staked into the ground next to the toadstool, that read, "The Caterpillar".

Well. How helpful.

I poked my head around the corner of the toadstool and immediately became aware of a strange, potent scent filling the air. It was thick and cloying, and strongly reminded one of coconut and grapefruit and bluebells. Standing just a little way off was the caterpillar, mixing a large cauldronful of a viscous, glutinous liquid. Steam rose off of it in spirals, curling gently upwards.

The caterpillar looked up as I approached, glaring sullenly at me.

"What can I do for you, Miss Lovegood?" he asked, deep black eyes boring into me.

"I was simply wondering what you have been making, sir." Scrupulous politness seemed to be the best course of action.

He frowned at me, greasy, thick black eyebrows knitting togther. "Stupid child! Do you not recognise the characteristic spirals of steam, the silverly sheen to the liquid?"

"Not really, no, sir."

"Why not? You are a Ravenclaw, are you not?"

"I was, yes," I said. "Whilst I was at Hogwarts."

"Then you should well be able to recognise Amortentia when you see it. Now, away with you. I am at a critical stage in the brewing of this potion, and I have no time to be conversing with ignorant children!" And, so saying, he shooed me away from his cauldron and back to the path.

I wasn't sure if it was them or me, but people here seemed to be much ruder than in real life. I wasn't sure if I liked this dream so much anymore. But, then again, the twin cats had been friendly enough, and helpful, too (eventually); and I had asked the rabbit a very prying question, interrupting his thoughts, which were obviously very important, and had disturbed the caterpillar at a crucial moment. Really, their touchiness was understandable, and almost acceptable. And there was still the Hatter left to meet. I couldn't make assumptions about the people here without meeting them all and getting to know them properly.

I walked back down the path towards the fork where I had met the cats to find it still deserted. In place of the identical felines, however, was a new path, pointing straight ahead. Should I...? No, I had no idea where it lead, and I already knew how easy it was to get lost here, even if it was a dream. next time there might not be any helpful cats to get me out of my predicament. I ought to take the right path - I wanted to meet the Hatter anyway.

At the end of the right-hand path lay another clearing, but this one was far from empty. A long picnic table stood in the middle of the space, covered in a checked table cloth with plates of food and jugs of drink piled high on top of it; comfortable, chintzy armchairs were dotted around it; and clocks of all descriptions lay in great mounds in-between the trees that surrounded the glade. Not one of them appeared to how the right time, and not one of them showed the same time as another.

Seated at the table were a small dormouse with a chunk missing from its ear; a hare whose whiskers looked dreadfully unkempt; and a brown-haired man who could only be the Hatter himself.

He was tall, incredibly so, and managed to seem to fill the space around him, for all he was so slim. His brown hair was mostly covered by a russet-coloured top hat, labelled "10 sickles and 6 knuts", except where it hung in his eyes, just slightly, and curled around his ears. He wore a broad, genuine-seeming smile, and looked to be the friendliest person I had met so far.

"Welcome! Luna, I presume?" he asked, taking me by the hand and leading me to a comfortable chair at the head of the table. I nodded, suddenly shy, and sat down quickly, hiding my blush with my hair.

His two companions studied me carefully, and I studied them back. The hare was small, thin and raggedy-looking, but with lustrous black hair, pulled back in braids against his skull, that he obviously took great pride in. The dormouse was harder to make out: her hair was also long, black and well-cared-for, but her face was closed and guarded. As soon as I met her eye she stood up and readied to leave. "Goodbye Hatter, Hare. Do not forget about the festivities later at the palace." And with a careless toss of her head, she stalked along the table, jumped off at the end and, landing on her feet, left the clearing, walking off towards a tall tower just visible beyond the horizon.

I looked up at the Hatter and bit my lip. I had so many questions, but didn't know where to start. I decided to settle for the least complicated one. "What festivities?"

Just as I began to talk, however, an alarm clock rang and lively music started to play. The Hare and the Hatter each caught up one of my arms and pulled me upright and into an odd eight-some reel.

We danced once, twice, three times around the table before the music faded and we all collapsed into the chairs nearest to us. This time I was sat in front of a large plate of cakes, and helped myself to one, before offering the platter to the Hare and then the Hatter. They both refused, and the Hatter answered my question as I munched.

"There is to be a party in approximately ten minutes at the Queen's palace to celebrate her birthday. All her subjects are invited, and of course we will all go. Will you accompany us?"

I merely nodded, as my mouth was still full of cake and I did not wish to appear impolite in front of the Hatter. And the Hare, of course. He was just as important.

The Hatter then poured me a cup of tea, in a cup of the same delicate china the cups in the rabbit hole were made of, and passed it to me before engaging the Hare in a long conversation about the quality of their tea spoons. I was just beginning to tire of their talk (I had eaten all of the cake) when the alarm clock rang again. I jumped up, expecting another dance, but instead my two companions stood up slowly, adjusted their jackets and hats (in the case of the Hatter, at least), and started out for the path.

The Hatter looked back at me and asked if I was coming with them after all. "It is time for the Queen's party. It would not do to be late."

I nodded hurriedly, eyes widening at the thought of what the Queen would do to those who were not punctual in the extreme, and rushed after them down the pathway.

The Queen's palace was undeniably gorgeous, the banquet divine and the party smooth-running, professional and sumptous, but her manners left a lot to be desired. She did not pay any attention to her guests for the first hour of her party, instead just stuffing her face with the delicious food prepared for her and shouting at her husband, a meek red-headed man who didn't seem quite how to react to her henpecking. When eventually she did notice our existence, it was only to organise fellow competitors for a game of golf that she "absolutely had to have".

I was selected as one of the players, as was the Hare and the Hatter, and we were each handed a club by a sulky white rabbit.

"Hello Mr Rabbit," I said, in an effort to seem polite. "I take it you were not late after all?" He just glared at me and sharply thrust my iron into my hand.

The Queen, of course, was the first to take her shot. She had been boasting to anyone who would listen about her brilliance and prowess at this game, but she was clearly lying. Her first shot landed well short of the green, but the ball stood up and ran towards the hole, throwing itself in. Everyone applauded.

"A hole in one, Majesty!" the rabbit cried. The Queen preened, tossing her hair and smiling complacently.

I couldn't take it any longer. I threw my golf club to the floor and marched towards her angrily. The Hatter clutched uselessly at my arm in an effort to hold me back, but he couldn't stop me.

"What do you think you're doing, applauding her and cosseting her like this? She missed the shot and is cheating, and yet you let her get away with it and applauded her for it!"

The Queen turned scarlet with rage, her eyes popping and her mouth opening and shutting uselessly. Eventually she regained the power of speech and asked me, her whole body trembling, who I thought I was.

"I'm Luna," I said simply. This made the Queen even more angry, now apopletic with rage.

"I don't give a damn what your name is, little miss! Off with her head!" she shrieked. I was immediately seized by two tall, burly men who gripped my arms painfully and started to pull me away. The Hatter tried to pull me away from them, but two more of the Queen's henchmen appear and grabbed him too, pulling him off in the same direction they were pulling me.

I smiled at him, grateful for his efforts to save me, and he smiled back, squeezing my hand as we were dragged towards the castle...

...And that's when I woke up, twigs from the bush I lay under stuck in my hair and poking at my sides.

It had all been a dream, then, exactly like I thought. It made me feel slightly better, knowing that I wasn't really about to be beheaded by a power-mad despot.

Rolf arrived at that moment, slightly surprised, I'm sure, to see me lying on the ground under a bush, breathing hard, but he didn't ask any questions. Instead, he just removed his brownish-red hat from his head and ran a hand through his soft, brown hair before pulling me to my feet, pulling some leaves from my hair and leading me back to the house.

I looked back as I reached the door, and saw a white rabbit standing there, fretting and checking the time on a pocket watch.