U4: Pretty sure I don't own FMA. And this is a random idea that I had that stemmed from a conversation at lunch. Ed hates milk as much as one of my friends hates ketchup. Our lunch period was quite similar to the story.

Roy Mustang sighed as he looked at the ever-expanding mass of paperwork on his desk. It was the worst part of the job, not to mention what the papers were for.

"Hey Boss, what's up?" Breda said as he walked into the office, carrying two lunch trays in his hands.

"The usual. At least Hawkeye left me alone for a few minutes to go get lunch-" Roy said as he finished another set of papers. Breda put the extra lunch on his superior's desk

The door opened to reveal said Lieutenant with her own lunch.

"-and now she's back."

"You're working? Good."

A slightly dishevled Fullmetal and Alphonse walked in after her. After recieving questioning looks at the pissed off look on the elder's face, Al revealed it to be a height AND milk related statement.

Fuery, Havoc and Falman joined the group in Mustang's office, after announcing that they were escaping an ongoing foodfight that had started by a… certain state alchemist. No one had to think any farther.

"Ugh, I can't eat when I have to do the psychiatric ward's papers. A guy named Hale Burke kept making his victims' worst and weirdest nightmares come alive." A slightly pale Mustang said. "Remind me to tell them to lay off the descriptions."

Breda stopped stuffing his face for a moment. "Worst nightmares and fears? I'd probably die of fright if mine came to life."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Attacked by a pack of dogs in the middle of nowhere at night?"

Breda shuddered, staring forward as he imagined it. "H-how the heck did you find out!"

Havoc took the cigarette out of his mouth to knock some ash off, shrugging. "Sorry Breda, I told 'em. I guess my worst nightmare would be dying all alone without getting married." Overly dramatic crocodile tears were on his face as he thought about that sad future.

Everyone looked at Falman. "No more books" was all that he would mention.

Riza rolled her eyes. "You are all so dramatic. I bet the Colonel's is getting his gloves wet in the middle of a battle, or losing the position of Fürer." She threw away her garbage, right after finishing off her bottle of milk.

"No, it's drowning in paperwork."

Roy rolled his eyes, but smirked as he noticed the milk bottle. "Hey, how much do you want to bet that Fullmetal's biggest fear is milk-based?"

"Is not!"

"No no no, worst nightmare would be drowning in milk! The very thing he hates most kills him!" Breda laughed.

"Wait, he drowns in milk, and his ghost is trapped in a milk processing plant!" Even Furery was in on it.

"Hey, not funny guys!"

"Is so Fullmetal!" Roy smirked at his subordinate's irritation.

Havoc thought for a second. "So, for some reason the military goes on a bonding experience to a milk processing plant, and Ed falls in a vat of milk after a fight with Mustang. They homogonize the milk, so he dies of third degree burns and drowns. His ghost then ends up having to haunt the milk processing plant that he died in forever!" He was overly enthusiastic about this for some reason.

Edward was frowning, and Al was laughing with the rest.

"Still not funny guys."

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