Disclaimer:
"Glee" belongs to Ryan Murphy
"Dalton" belongs to CP Coulter
Author's Note: I do not wish to offend anyone who had self-harmed. Please forgive me if I have.
Shane's face contorted with anger when he saw the blue spray over the stone. Not again, he thought wearily. The spray spelled out nasty words, words he remembered from high school days. How long has this been going on? He hadn't been here as often as he should have. Shane set the flowers – a mix of roses, daffodils, and a single sunflower - down gently in front of the grave. He brushed his fingers over the rounded top of the granite stone. "Hey." he murmured softly, smiling. "Missed you."
He pulled a rag out of his pocket. "Hold on a second. Have this cleaned up in no time." He spat on the rag and rubbed it furiously against the granite. "Sorry I used spit, but I don't have water with me."
After a good ten minutes, Shane sat back on his heels, finally satisfied. The last traces of the spray had been wiped away. He brushed his hands and sat indian style on the ground. "There you go. Good as new. I'll tell the groundskeeper to keep a better eye out for those assholes."
He smiled sadly. "Sorry I haven't been around as much. Julliard keeps me busy. This was the first chance I got.
"Kurt's there, too. So is Katherine. And Blaine is going to Harvard with the twins and David. Wes…well, Wes took over his family business. None of us know what it is still. But he's doing good." He chuckled. "Clark and Julian are still acting. Julian's engaged to Logan. Would you believe it?"
There was silence, nothing but the wind in the trees. "We all miss you. When we get together…it always feels like there's an empty seat, but…then again, it doesn't." Shane smiled weakly. "Are you there, watching over us?"
Nothing but the happy twitters of the birds answered him. Shane brushed his fingers absentmindedly over the engraving on the stone.
Reed Elijah Van Kamp
July 21st 1994 – February 17th 2011
The purest and most thoughtful minds are those which love colour the most
"I miss you…so much Reed." Shane sighed, looking at his feet. "But…I'll see you again someday. However long it takes." He looked up again.
"How are you?" He grinned. "Hope you're not bored. But..." he chuckled. "You know, when I was little I'd always imagined that, when we died…" he swallowed, "we'd turn into ghosts, but we could go anywhere we wanted. I was never worried about traveling anywhere, or a bucket list, cuz, hey, I could just do it as a ghost and avoid financial worries and stuff." He chuckled.
"I wonder where you've been. Probably Europe. Not that you haven't been there already. I remember you telling me about the trip you took to France." Shane grinned at the idea of Reed's happy face in his mind.
"I hope that you're okay. You said you'd wait for me, and I'm just waiting, I guess. I dunno, really."
Shane sighed lowering his head. Memories of the hospital room and the doctor shaking his head sadly flowed through his head.
A tiny tear dripped down his face.
"We're very sorry. He lost too much blood before he got here. We lost him about ten minutes ago."
He remembered the desolation, the numbness, when it had happened. The black trappings, the coffin, and the granite stone at which he sat now. Reed's mother, crying quietly. Clark solemnly sitting on his right. Kurt was on his left, barely keeping it together. It just wasn't fair. Not fair at all, not when he had gained what he wanted, he had to lose it. The one person he wanted most in the world, and they had slipped away.
The weeks afterward had been a nightmare. The scars on his wrist were enough. No one knew about them today. He had done a good job hiding them. He didn't eat. He didn't sleep. He couldn't do anything except lie curled up on his bed, thinking only of Reed.
That one day stayed in his head. The day when he said it was done, and yet it wasn't.
His blood was pooled across the tiles in the bathroom, crimson and hot. Shane was lying on his side, staring at his wrists. It was painful – not to mention ugly – but soon it would be worth it. Blaine was gone. His parents were too. He was alone in the house. His parents wouldn't know why he had done it. Blaine would though. Blaine had tried to pull him out of the darkness, but it hadn't worked. Shane loved his brother, as much as he loved Reed, but he couldn't do this anymore. He was slipping into darkness. Finally, his thoughts murmured. I'll see you soon Reed.
A second after his eyes had closed they opened again. He felt refreshed, like he had just taken a swim. He had woken in the middle of a simply stone bridge, crossing over a silvery stream. On either side of the bridge was a strange mist, but on the right side was a strange golden glow.
It was from that glow that his strawberry haired love had emerged.
"Reed!" Shane cried, scrambling to his feet.
"Don't!" Reed shouted, an alarmed look on his face. Shane froze, tottering near the edge of the bridge. Reed rushed towards him and pushed him back on to the bridge.
Shane pulled him into his arms. "Oh, Reed…" he mumbled in between mouthfuls of curls. Tears spilled out his eyes. Reed's arms wound around him tightly.
After a few minutes they sat down, leaning against the side of the bridge, Reed curled up in Shane's arms.
Shane studied Reed. He had bags under his eyes, and there was a strange desolation in them. Reed looked at Shane's hands, his head on his shoulder. His fingers silently reached out and brushed the wounds embedded in his wrists. The blood was no longer flowing, and it didn't hurt, but it was still very evident.
"Why, Shane?" he whispered. Shane sighed.
"I…I couldn't do it Reed. I'm sorry, I tried, but I couldn't do it. I love you…and…I can't live without you...and, I never really got to say good-bye." Shane buried his face in curls.
Reed sighed. "Shane, I'm sorry it happened. I truly am. I tried, and I couldn't do it either –"
"Don't say that! It wasn't your fault!" Tears were falling down both boys' cheeks.
"I know that Shane. I didn't want to leave you, but I didn't have a choice. And I'm sorry."
Shane reached out and cupped Reed's chin. He placed a silent, sweet kiss on his lips. "Don't be sorry. Please."
Reed closed his eyes. "Shane…I love you. And it's because I love you that I'm doing this."
Reed twisted around so that he was facing Shane.
"Shane, why are you doing this to yourself? You have a whole life ahead of you. You were gonna go to New York, to Julliard, Shane. You have Blaine, and your friends at Walcott, and everything! Why are you going to throw that all away!"
"Because you're not apart of it. I want to be with you Reed. Nothing is going to stop me."
"Except me."
Shane stared, wide-eyed. Reed sighed again and lowered his head. "Shane…will you promised me something?"
"Anything." Shane said truthfully.
"You're going to wake up sooner or later, you're not dead. This – " Reed gestured to the bridge, " – is the border between life and death. And we're in the middle."
"I don't want to –" Reed clapped a hand over his mouth. "Listen to me, please. When you wake up, these are going to be gone." He placed his hand over the cuts and Shane felt a shiver go up his spine. "And then I want you to live your life, Shane. Go out there, be happy, and impulsive, the guy I fell in love with! Don't just throw away your life over me. And…and when your time comes, if you still want me…I'll be waiting for you."
Shane raised his eyebrows. "Of course I'll still want you, Reed, why -?"
"Because things change over time. You might meet a nice guy that you like – " Shane saw Reed gulp nervously, "and you might want to get married and everything, and you do that. I want you to be happy." Shane's heart wrenched at the sight of the brave face Reed was attempting.
"I'll always want you Reed. I'll always love you." He murmured softly. Reed choked on a sob and Shane pulled him back into his arms again. Reed relaxed slightly as he felt familiar arms surround him, a beating heart, and steady breathing. It may well be the last time that this happened. Tears flowed over down his cheeks as he pushed himself further into the warmth. Reed shuddered and whispered, "Remember what I said. I'll be waiting. If you want me."
Shane sighed. "I will." He smiled wearily. "I never really got to say good-bye you know."
Reed shook his head. "No. But it was the best I could do."
Shane pushed his face back slightly. He planted another kiss on his lips. "There. That's better."
Reed smiled weepily. "Time's almost up." Indeed everything around him was starting to get hazy. "Don't forget our promise Shane…I love you."
Shane bit back a sob. "I love you Reed. Forever and always."
The always echoed in his mind and everything faded away.
Living for Reed had been harder than he thought. When he had woken up, he had heard Blaine coming through the door, calling his names. He was still lying on the floor. The blood was gone, and all that remained was the thin scars on his wrist. Shane would hide them with concealer to hide away what he had done, but they would remain there forever, a reminder of the promise he had made.
Slowly, he started to improve. He began eating properly again, and then he started to dance again. At first the music was slow, and sad, a mournful ballet, but over time, it grew faster, more difficult, a challenge. The kind of dance that Shane loved.
One day, he had stayed late to perfect a fast-paced jazz tune. He slid on his knees towards the edge of the stage, panting, sweat on his forehead, grinning ear to ear. It was the first time that he had really smiled. And an epiphany happened.
If I'm going to live the life I once lived, I can't live it just for Reed; I have to live it for myself too.
Sixty years after the death of his beloved, Shane Anderson died. Upon request in his will, he was buried beside a familiar granite stone, in a park where he would dutifully bring flowers to every time he got the chance. Blaine arranged the funeral, and what was left of the Windsor boys attended.
Finally the crowd dissipated, leaving an elderly Blaine and Kurt. Blaine knelt down wearily and looked at the twin graves. Kurt squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. "C'mon love. We're not that far behind." He chuckled drily. "And…they're with each other again."
Blaine sighed, looking at the gravestones. The inscription on the newer one read
Shane Matthew Anderson
January 3rd 1995 – May 12th 2081
They who love dancing too much seem to have more brains in their feet than in their head
The quote had been chosen by a joking Shane two weeks before he died. "Something my brother would say." he had said.
Blaine smiled weakly. Of course he'd miss Shane. He couldn't not. But Kurt was right. He still had some time left, no matter how short it was.
So he stood up. Kurt took his hand gently and squeezed it. Blaine squeezed back. "Yes." he said quietly. Then he put on a brave smile and turned around, walking out of the cemetery and into the world with his love.
Shane watched them go. He was sitting cross-legged on top of his headstone. He had watched the whole funeral play out.
It had been really weird and unnerving to wake up one morning, walk to the bathroom, and see your teenage self – and seeing the shower curtain through your stomach. He had done a double take. His old body was lying in bed, a peaceful expression on his face. Shane had stared, wide-eyed. So that was it? He just…died?
He hadn't left his brother's side since Blaine had found out. But now, he was watching them walk away. He sighed. Blaine would be okay. Kurt had taken care of him for sixty years now. He had no doubt he would do so until their dying day.
He climbed off the headstone, sighing. He peered around the cemetery. There was no sign of any life, except for the birds in the trees. "Reed?" he called out. No answer.
Where are you Reed? I'm here now. Do you still want me? Where are you?
Shane sighed again. Reed had promised to wait if Shane wanted him. And here he was, having waited sixty years, only to be left behind.
"Reed," he said loudly. "I'm here now. And I still love you. I've waited sixty years, and I'm ready to spend however long we have now together. Please, wherever you are, please come out."
There was the rustle of bushes. The twitters of the birds. The wind in the air.
And then there was the sound of a stumble behind him.
Shane spun around. Reed was lying on his stomach in front of the their graves, eyebrows furrowed in irritation. Shane found the fact the even in spirit form, Reed was still clumsy.
He raced forward, tears springing from his eyelids. He reached Reed and pulled him into his arms. Finally. He lost sense of the world around him, only knowing Reed, Reed's arms, Reed's smell, and loving whispers. "You…you still love me?"
Shane nodded furiously. "Yes, yes I do! I always will." He pulled away so that he could look Reed in the chocolate eyes that he had missed so much. "I promised, didn't I?"
Reed smiled weepily. He leaned up on his tiptoes and Shane leaned down. Their lips met in a silent promise of love, forever more.
They pulled away, still smiling.
Shane put his arm around Reed, and Reed slung his arm around Shane's waist. Then they walked out of the cemetery and into the world beyond.
AN: Yeah, inner supernatural crazy. I've been reading a lot of ghost stories lately, and this wouldn't leave me alone.
So the reason I've been gone? This week were the tryouts for my school's color guard team (the girls with the flags) We learn a routine over the period of a week, and then tonight, we got to perform it in front of the judges. Our band director pulled a dick move and didn't post the results tonight. So I'm going in the morning to see. But I was at practice every night, and I'm sorry for not getting this out earlier.
Let you guys know if I made it. Hope I do. Fingers crossed.
Love Lala, xoxo