"I was looking forward to finding my friend Riku, so we could go back to the islands."

Who knows how far off that is? Riku can be anywhere, and what if…

What if I don't recognize him?

I look different; I'm taller, my hair is lighter, it's in a different style, and I don't have as much baby fat on my face. Riku has to look different too. He might be taller, and his hair might get longer, et cetera. Maybe I'm letting my imagination get the best of me. I always told everyone four words when they were in my position—lost without friends, sad, upset, regretting everything—

"Keep your head up!"

If only I could follow my advice. My head won't be coming up anytime soon. Not until the wounds of the past close up, not until I stop inwardly screaming, not until my urge to curl up and die disappears, not until I am delivered. A smile now would be plastic, bright and wide, but unreal. Reality is a bitch. I like to pretend that I am smiling, and that Riku and Kairi are with me. I mourn our past selves, the old Sora, the old Riku, the teenagers who were untouched by the war, the darkness.

"Have you seen the King or Riku?"

No… well, I believe in Riku. I'll give up anything to find him—it's my obsession. I will find him, even if, it kills me in the end. I lie awake on the Gummi Ship, thinking of Riku and Kairi. It's like my mind is addicted to thinking about them. Them to me is like a cigarette to a narcotic. I need them to live, to breathe if I look deep enough into our friendship. Why is it that my friends take me over, erase my mind and soul until there is nothing but Riku and Kairi engraved in both?

"Wait! Does that mean you forgot about us!"

I'm tired of being sick. I'm sick of being tired. I'm tired of the Heartless, I'm tired of the Nobodies, and I'm sick of Organization XIII! The worlds share the sky, and the sky does not want to be shared anymore. The sky desires to be with the land and the sea. Take me away from it all, prevent me from being suppressed by such childish fears. Show me courage, make me be brave. Riku left, and part of me is glad that he did. Even though I try to tell myself that he and Kairi are not here, they somehow follow me and torture me when I wake up from blissful dreams and see that they are not by my side.

Forgetting me… what if Kairi doesn't remember me?

STOP IT.

Huh?

I said, 'STOP IT.'

Who are you?

That's not important. I've seen this 'old Sora' and that person is still in there somewhere.

No he's not. He left… a long time ago. A year, betrayed when I thought I had reached the bottom of my very existence.

Been there, done that.

No, no you haven't.

Just stop.

I can't trust myself to do that. I'm dying inside, and whoever you are, you know that. I won't be broken again, but that doesn't change the fact that I am already broken. These wounds can't be healed by time. I can only watch myself fade into the black, never to be the sunlit sky. The pieces of the sky lie where they fell, here, inside me.

At least you're real.

Not for long. It's been so long since I heard my name from Riku or Kairi. Why can't they save me from the nothing I've become?

Nothing. Don't make me laugh.

Don't ask me to smile. I will but I won't.

You think you won't.

I feel my lips curve upward in a poor imitation of my trademark grin.

See? Smile for her,

Who?

And you'll see.

"Kairi!"

I found her, after so long. My heart wants to burst, and my mask falls from my face. I smile again—for real this time. I put my all into this fight, moving with speed I didn't know I had. Swinging my Keyblade with force I can't possibly exert, destroying Xigbar and the Heartless with newfound strength. I thought I was alone in this castle, but the sky has found the sea.

But my smile fades.

One thing is missing.

Riku.