Notes: Ok, I totally shed a little tear writing this one, maybe it's hormones, who knows, feel free to tell me I'm a big ol' softie LOL
CH 10: A Quiet Strength
Jane sat at her desk on Friday afternoon trying to will the clock to tick faster. She and Frost had apprehended the suspect on the case they were working that morning, thank God for the dumb ones, Jane thought as she wrapped up some paperwork. She looked at the clock again, 3:30pm.
"You know, checking the clock every 30 seconds isn't going to make 5 o'clock roll around any faster" Frost jabbed from his desk where he was leaning back in his chair, feet propped up on the edge, "You and the Doc got hot plans for tonight or something?"
Jane shot Frost an icy glare, "First of all, any 'hot' plans Maura and I ever have you'll never be privy to."
Korsak laughed as he was eavesdropping on the exchange.
"My Nonna's 90th birthday is tomorrow I've got to go find her a birthday present and pick up some stuff at the grocery store to make a dish to pass, Ma wouldn't pick up my slack this time. I haven't the slightest damn idea what to make."
"Just pick up something pre-made" Korsak suggested.
"Hi Korsak, Jane Rizzoli, nice to meet you. As if walking in with Maura might not give my Nonna a coronary you suggest I bring a pre-made dish? Then not only will Nonna croak right then and there but I'll need medical attention for the whack upside the head Ma will give me" Jane laughed and shook her head as she pictured the scenario.
Five o'clock had finally rolled around and Jane had practically left the doors swinging on their hinges as she beat a hasty retreat, though not before texting to make sure Maura was going to be at her apartment when she got done running her errands for the birthday party.
The present shopping part was easy. Jane had always had her Nonna figured out. Nonna's 89 Ma, not dead, she had said last year when her mother had discovered the real part of Nonna's present from Jane was a small bottle of cognac Jane had wrapped in a scarf as a ruse. Nonna had smiled and winked at Jane when she unearthed the booze. Jane had taken the chastisement from her mother and aunt and when the family had finally dispersed to dive into the cake Nonna had taken her by the arm, Vieni Janie, come, let's have a nip. Jane laughed under her breath as she recalled last year's party and how she was once again standing in the liquor store, this time selecting small mini-bottles of Nonna's favorite indulgences to tuck discreetly into the fingers of the thick winter gloves she had purchased as "her gift."
The grocery shopping part was another story. Jane wandered aimlessly around the market for what seemed like an eternity and all she had to show for her efforts was a six-pack of MGD64. Ok, think, what can you make to feed a herd of Italians that won't kill anyone and be just passable enough not to get you smacked in the head. A light bulb went off, Antipasto! Everybody will like it; I don't have to cook anything so chances of poisoning anyone are minimal. In the fine cheese section she selected the requisite Mozzarella and Provolone, then also some Gouda, and a rosemary coated Manchego, yes, being with Maura had definitely taught her a few things. Next, some salami, prosciutto, smoked salmon and of course diced cantaloupe. To round it out a trip to the olive bar for an assortment of plain and stuffed varieties, peppers and artichokes.
Jane lugged her work bag and the grocery sacks up to her apartment, she was beat and just wanted to pop open a beer and curl up on the sofa with Maura for a quiet evening to reenergize before the party the next day, whether her relationship with Maura was well received or not family gatherings were guaranteed to be exhausting.
The apartment smelled like heaven. Jane stopped just inside the doorway closed her eyes and inhaled as deeply as her lungs would allow.
"Ahhhhh…" she exhaled loudly, a satisfied smile creeping onto her face.
Maura was in the kitchen and giggled at Jane's reaction. Jane eyed her girlfriend as she made her way over; Maura was standing behind the counter, her hair loosely pulled back in a ponytail she had donned the Red Sox shirt Jane had slept in the night before and a weathered pair of Jane's knit pajama pants.
"Oh my God Maur, it smells amazing in here…" Jane set to immediately putting the antipasto ingredients in the fridge.
"I suspected you might, what is the colloquialism, 'chicken out' of actually preparing a dish that required more than rote assembly so I'm making Tiramisu to take to your grandmother's party. I hope that's not too trite a dish, Italian cuisine isn't exactly part of my usual repertoire. And I've had the strangest carb craving all day so I whipped up a tuna casserole for us for dinner, it's in the oven."
Jane wrapped her arms around Maura's waist and placed a deep kiss on her neck, "I could not love you more than I do right now" she said with an air of humor.
"What did you get to take?"
"Ingredients to throw together an antipasto." They both laughed at Jane's predictability.
Angela had instructed Jane to arrive at the party about 15 minutes or so late, while her mother hadn't said why Jane knew that Angela intended to read the riot act to anyone who might be pondering a negative word regarding her and Maura. She was still nervous though, that there might be more reactions like Tommy had displayed.
Laughter and a multitude of clashing conversations could be heard several feet from Aunt Sophia's front door. The sense of family and camaraderie that was evident from that alone made Maura smile.
They walked into the house and a stark silence fell over Angela's clan as all eyes were trained on them. Maura was suddenly extremely grateful she had decided to wear her hair down as she felt her ears burning and was sure they had flushed a deep shade of crimson.
Angela bolted up from the sofa and towards Jane giving both her and Maura a hug. Some conversations restarted; there were a few smiles and tentative waves, which Jane acknowledged.
Frankie also approached them and gave Maura a hug, "Welcome to the jungle" he whispered in her ear with a joking smile.
Angela led them to the kitchen, "So, what did you bring?" She looked at Jane, skeptically giving the foil wrapped platter in her hands the once over.
"Have a little faith Ma, I put together an antipasto, and Maura made tiramisu."
"Jane! You made Maura cook for your Nonna's birthday? That's shameful!" she huffed.
Maura laughed, "Angela, I didn't mind, I like cooking and trying out new recipes. I hope it came out well," she said as she removed the dessert from the soft sided cooler she was carrying.
Jane's Aunt Sophia joined them in the kitchen. Sophia was three years older than Angela, and where Angela was jovial, talkative, warm and inviting – a true extrovert, Sophia was distinctly the opposite. Angela thought she had the sharpest tongue, because it was always moving but Sophia had a dark and brooding demeanor, an almost acerbic character that required few words to hammer home the steeliest of criticisms. She surveyed the spread that had grown on the counter and then turned to face Jane and Maura while Angela was waist deep in the fridge making room for Maura's tiramisu.
Her eyes, black holes, entirely unreadable, flashed from Jane to Maura and gave her a slow and uncomfortably probative inspection. Expensive, she ascertained when her eyes finally settled on the very tip of Maura's designer shoes.
Thin lips strained into a half smile, "Dear, you shouldn't have gone to such trouble, perhaps Jane didn't tell you, our family affairs are very casual." Had the words been liquid the meaning was like oil, it sat noticeably on top of the actual comment. Sophia judged Maura's appearance as a flaunting of her wealth; yet, she cared not for her sister's satisfaction that Jane was dating a doctor since that doctor was after all, a woman.
Maura wasn't one to generally feel uncomfortable with her appearance; she was used to being what most referred to as "overdressed." But her style was hers, she owned it, it comforted her in a manner of speaking through her appreciation of the nuances of fashion; it was like wearing art, a daily avowal of the awe she felt at the expansiveness of human creativity. But, Sophia's caustic gaze stripped her bare; she felt exposed and self-conscious in a way that was directly attributable to the source of judgment being a member of Jane's family.
"Maura always dresses very nice, and she always looks lovely!" Angela countered as she emerged from the depths of fridge reorganization, "It's refreshing to see a young woman care and put effort into her appearance." Angela smiled and gave Maura a supportive wink.
"Hmm" was Sophia's reply as she once again trained her eyes on Jane, "I haven't told your Nonna about…this. Let's allow her to enjoy her birthday shall we? At her age we want to keep everything positive."
Sophia made her way back to the living room, more than an air of satisfaction in her step that she had properly conveyed her feelings with the just the right amount of thinly veiled distaste.
"Don't worry, not everyone in the family is like Sophia," Angela offered as she also went to rejoin the gathering.
"Hey…" Jane said, reaching for Maura's hand she was surprised to make contact with a warm and sweaty palm, "…Maura, are you ok?"
Maura squeezed her hand, "Yeah…she's…very different from your mother."
"Don't give my Aunt the satisfaction of getting under your skin, hell, half the family think she's a bitch and avoid her whenever possible." Jane moved in closer and placed her hand on Maura's cheek as she kissed her forehead, "And Ma's right, you do always look lovely."
Maura quite liked Jane's cousin Vinny, he had introduced himself when they returned to the living room offering Maura his seat as all other available seating space was occupied. Jane had immediately started teasing Vinny about law school and whether he had been down to Ala-fuckin-bama recently. Maura was confused until Jane explained it was a running joke they had because of a movie called "My Cousin Vinny."
"Hey, I came first," Vinny asserted.
Jane was sitting on the arm of the chair and laughed as she leaned down, half-whispering to Maura, "Vinny's my favorite cousin, but don't tell him I said that, it'll go to his head."
"Ah, Janie, I'm everyone's favorite…" Vinny quipped as he snagged Jane in a headlock; they play-tussled for a moment until Angela and her brother Robert exasperated in near unison, "Hey! No rough-housing!"
"Ok Vinny, gimme the low-down here…" Jane said nodding her head towards Maura, "…what kinda mine field are we walking through?"
Vinny held up his finger and ran over to a cooler that was sitting discreetly in the corner and grabbed three beers; he passed one to Jane and Maura as he took a seat on the other arm of the chair. The location of the cooler revealed, Frankie retrieved a beer and he and Vinny's sister Christina joined them.
"Ok, ok, so here's what went down…" Vinny started.
"Wait, wait, Maura's not going to know who we're talking about, so…hold that thought," Jane put her arm around Maura's shoulder and leaned in, "Ok, Maur…Nonna Berta, obviously, Ma, Aunt Sophia who you've already had the pleasure is Ma's older sister. Uncle Phillip is Sophia's husband, they have four boys, Carlo…Anthony…Edward and Nick, all married except Nick, the wives, we call them the hens. The various and sundry rugrats belong to them. Ma's brother, uncle Rob that's Vinny and Maria's dad, their Ma Cora, Maria's husband John, no kids, Vinny and Frankie get to hold it down for the singles now…" that earned Jane a jab from both Vinny and Frankie.
Maura held her finger in the air as she tried to recount the connections Jane had just laid out.
"Got it?" Jane asked.
Maura scanned the room and looked up, "No, I'm going to need some kind of chart."
The little group chuckled.
Vinny continued, "Ok, so…as I understand it Carla Talluci…"
"What a cow" Maria interjected.
"…Carla calls up Aunt Sophia, who rang up my Pop before calling your Ma. Aunt Sophia was…"
"Oh, no need to tell us, we got that quiet fury in the kitchen a few moments ago…" Jane glanced towards her aunt who was now playing the consummate hostess filling wine glasses.
"…yeah, Aunt Sophia was, well Aunt Sophia. You know how competitive she and your Ma are, this is a big victory gloat for her. Anyway, our Pop, well, I think he was surprised, but he don't say much you know but he called us up and said 'apparently your cousin Jane's gay, your Aunt Sophia's having a mini-breakdown that it's going to ruin Nonna's birthday party so don't poke the bear.' But, me being your favorite cousin and all, and Maria being your second favorite…" Vinny paused to wink at his sister, "…makes no difference to us Jane as long as you're happy. So, Carlo and Anthony had some asshole comments when we got here, but I told 'em to shove it. I think that's all I know."
Jane gave Vinny a fistbump, "Thanks cuz."
"So, where Tommy?" Maria inquired.
"Probably passed out under a bar, it is after noon," Frankie joked.
"Yeah, Tommy didn't take my little disclosure so well, he was trying to put his hands on Maura one night and he called me a dyke and made some other comments so I punched him the mouth. He's been steering clear of me since then."
Vinny glanced down at Maura's barely touched beer, "Gee Janie, I thought I was liking your girl, but…she's not a drinker?"
Jane laughed, "Oh, Maura's not big on beer."
"Oh, no it's fine, I've just been trying to put all the names and faces together; I actually forgot I was holding it…" Maura was suddenly concerned she might have offended Vinny.
"Damn, Jane, why didn't you say so." Vinny popped up and returned with a glass of Chianti, lifting the beer out of Maura's hand, he took a swig of it and handed her the wine instead.
Maura smiled, "Thank you."
Conversation was noticeably quieter after copious amounts of food had been consumed from the dinner spread. The men had retired to the den to locate a sporting event while Angela, Sophia, Maria and the other women set to work on cleaning up the kitchen, dining room and packing up the leftovers. Jane led Maura back to the living room for a moment of respite from the family madness.
Jane wrapped her arm around Maura as they collapsed onto the sofa, "Still think my family is charming?"
Maura laughed under her breath as she let her head ease down onto Jane's shoulder, "Mmhmm, most of them."
"Well, Aunt Sophia wasn't too put out I guess, she did have two servings of your Tiramisu."
Maura's hand came to rest on Jane's thigh with a light squeeze, "It did turn out very well if I may say so myself."
Nonna Berta appeared from behind them and Maura quickly raised her head and withdrew her hand. Jane however, made no move to disentangle her arm from around Maura's back.
"Vieni con me," Nonna beckoned for Jane and Maura to follow her, which they did, back to Nonna's bedroom where she pulled the gloves Jane had given her from their box with a mischievous smile. From a little china cabinet in the room she removed three small aperitif glasses and filled them with the Frangelico Jane had stuffed into the glove fingers.
Nonna raised her glass, and her eyebrows as much as her wrinkles would allow in order to indicate Jane and Maura should do the same, "To…not being dead yet."
Jane and Maura both smiled as they took a sip.
"Your Mama and Sophia, they must think me senile, or perhaps blind and deaf…" she leaned in closer turning her attention to Maura, her once brown eyes had greyed with age but still sparkled with a vivacity that was undeniable, "…I assure you, I am none of the three. Particularly, I see…" she pointed to her eyes, "…and hear…" she pointed to her ears, "…just fine." She winked at Jane, who looked at Maura with a thankful smile. Jane took Maura's hand and laced their fingers together.
Nonna looked down at the gesture and then back up at her granddaughter, "That's better."
The elderly woman shuffled over to her dresser and turned to look at Jane again, "You have always been unique, and true to who you are, don't let anyone stop you from that now." Nonna pulled something from a jewelry box and shuffled back over to Jane and Maura, she smiled placing an arthritic finger under Maura's chin, "And this one is very beautiful, and smart…I can tell these things…you have a quiet and sincere strength, it gives her stillness out of chaos…" Nonna motioned to Jane as she said it, "…I don't think you know it, but Nonna knows, and Janie knows, but this one's proud, she probably hasn't told you that yet." Nonna winked as Maura fought the tears that were welling up behind her eyes.
Out of Nonna's raised hand two gold saint medals on delicate gold chains dropped and hung, "St. Valentine of Rome, patron saint of love, a gift from my sister to me and my late husband on my wedding day, and now, my gift to you."
"Oh…no, I couldn't possibly…" Maura started to protest.
"Shh shh shh, eh! No argue. You do not walk into this lion's den today if you do not love her, and her, her I know, and I've met the boyfriends, I tell you another secret…" this time Nonna Berta leaned in so that only Maura could hear, "…you're the only one she's ever loved."
Maura's hazel eyes locked with Nonna Berta's as they both smiled in a moment of shared understanding; Maura reached up and held her hair aside so Nonna could fasten the chain around her neck. She held the medallion in her weathered hands, to look at it one last time before she gingerly pulled the front of Maura's dress forward just enough to drop the medal down out of sight.
"And you…" she motioned for Jane to lean down so she could adorn her with the medal's partner.
"What did she whisper to you?" Jane asked with curiosity on their ride home.
Maura smiled as she rubbed her thumb over the medallion hanging around her neck, "Something you'll tell me when you're ready."
Jane raised a skeptical eyebrow as she smiled, "Maura, I know you're not religious, it won't offend me if you don't want to wear that," she said as she observed Maura fingering the medal.
Maura looked down at the piece of jewelry between her finger, "It's the most meaningful gift anyone's ever given me, I'll cherish it always."