This is where it begins, Haley's life starts to get a lot more complicated. Please review. :)

I'm not sure what was more exhilarating, this new forbidden relationship itself, or the dirty looks I got for it. I knew that I wasn't the only girl in the lab found Gavin appealing, but he chose me. It kept blowing my mind that he was able to chose from all of the perfect lip gloss smiles in the room, and he chose me. There was obvious speculation about us. Gavin could have lost his job and I could have been kicked out of school, and yet every time his finger tips grazed the small of my back as he was helping me... it made me feel like it'd be worth it. The Haley James everyone knew would have run from something as risky as this, but the new Haley James? She loved it.

"James." A stern voice cleared from my bedroom door. I could hear Brooke's footsteps outside pacing.

"Come on in Brookie." I laughed. My door opened and she stood there with her arms folded. "What's wrong with you?" I smiled.

Her arms fell to her side and she pranced in to jump on my bed. "Why are you smiling so much? I've barely seen you in the past week and a half, and when I did you're smiling like a school girl and hiding in here. What's going on?"

"I just... like school." I lied. School was already stressful and I was having trouble deciding what to do with my life, but for some reason I felt the need to lie about my new relationship.

"Oh." The silence that lingered was almost unbearable. For the first time our whole lives, Brooke and I had nothing to talk about. I was lying to Brooke, which was something I promised her I'd never do. It made me feel disgusting, like as soon as the lie left my lips I was infected with a filthy disease. I didn't lie, not to Brooke, but lately it had been coming naturally. She got off my bed and lingered in the middle of my room. "Some of the girls and I are taking a road trip this weekend. We're not sure where but..." I watched as her fingers grazed the new clothes in my closet. I knew what she was thinking, this isn't Haley's clothes... it looked more like her's. "But we're just going to drive."

"Oh yeah? Who?"

"Me, LeAnn, Rachel...you?" She looked over and smiled a pleading smile. Me and LeAnn, Gavin's ex-girlfriend? Me and Rachel, Nathan's current girlfriend? "James?"

"LeAnn and Rachel? Seriously?" I raised an eyebrow at her as I peered above the textbook on my lap.

"I know you don't like Rachel, but you swore you were over Nathan. And LeAnn? What's wrong with LeAnn?" Brooke sighed and slowly tiptoed towards my door. How did we start feeling so misplaced around one another? And what was wrong with LeAnn? Besides the fact that I've been secretly kissing her ex-boyfriend in the chemistry supply room?

"She just annoys me." There it was; another lie. I was quickly building a wall of lies and shielding myself from everything I knew.

"She annoys you." Brooke whispered under her breath. "Does Nathan annoy you?" She snapped. Her face flushed and she stood uncomfortably, even closer to leaving my room. And still, with the sound of his name my heart pounded.

"Of course not." I let my book slide off my lap and sat up straight to face her. There was no getting out of this conversation.

"Well he has been here every day this week, and it hasn't been for me." I pushed the books and school supplies away from my side and motioned for Brooke to come sit by me. I may have been trying to change and start over, but I'd never start over without her. She smiled and sat at my side. "I've missed you, James. What is going on?"

"Brooke..." I swore I wouldn't lie again. At least, not completely. "I spent my whole life in love with Nathan, and the most he could offer me was one summer. He dangled everything I ever wanted in front of my face and made me think it was okay, because he told me he was going to snatch it away. And now? Now that I've found someone who is interested in me alone? He can't expect me to let him do that again, I can't handle it."

Brooke sighed deeply, and I noticed the hurt look on her face. "You found someone? And didn't tell me?"

"It's nothing ..." I promised with a lie. "I mean. It's recent. I don't know what it is. He's just a guy from one of my labs and... he's nice." I smiled.

"So that is why you've been smiling so much?" Her eyes stared at me intently, and I just shrugged. I didn't want to have to explain what was going on, it was just happening and I wanted to just let it happen. "For what it's worth, I think Nathan teased himself more than you. And I think he genuinely misses you."

"Oh yeah? Does Rachel know that?"

"Rachel? You're threatened by Rachel? She is nothing compared to you. Nathan has been in love with you for just as long as you have him. You're both in denial but... you're great together. And he came to CALIFORNIA for you? But if you think this new guy is better for you than... I support that. Just make sure you know what you're doing." Brooke walked out of my room, and I noticed her linger in the hall. "By the way," she called out, "Nathan's step brother stopped by with him."

"Lucas? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he lives around here."

"He's hot." She looked back and grinned. Laughing, she walked away. It seemed as though Brooke Davis had found a game to play. This could get interesting.

It didn't take a genius to see I was in over my head. There were secrets hidden in his face that I was afraid to know. Every time his cell phone beeped with a text it screamed naive. Every time he was preoccupied, or would have to call me back or asked that we keep our relationship a secret until LeAnn got over it, the only small part of me that was tough wanted to scream liar. But then there was the rest of me, that was thrilled with the danger and excitement in the situation. I never really figured out why I let it happen, if it was because no one thought Haley James would do it, or if I really just wanted to. But I was officially in over my head and no one can save me now.

"Have you ever been in love?" He whispered into my hair as his fingertips drew circles into my bare arm. The question made my heart race, which he could probably feel as we laid with our bodies so tightly intertwined. Of course I'd been in love, I have been since I was nine and that boy threw a ball of ice at me and cracked my front tooth. And I always would be, even if he did it again.

"Yeah." I said as I exhaled. But love was a harsh word. Love came with strings and promises meant to be broken. Love came with disappointment and vulnerability. Love wasn't a good thing, it wasn't a privilege, but a disease without a cure. It was like jumping off a cliff and never landing. Once you were in love you couldn't turn back, you were then ripped apart and your pieces were exposed to the world to be criticized. I wish he never said love.

He leaned back and looked at me, a small smirk on his face. I truly hoped he would never expect me to be in love with him. Because it wouldn't happen, I knew it. I was a tiny person who only had enough room inside of her to love one person. That room has been occupied for years. "Nathan?"

I simply nodded. There was no need to explain, I felt. I survived and he survived, we had our short moment in the spotlight, and the light went out. But we survived it, and it was all that mattered. Did I survive it? "You?" I felt obligated to reciprocate.

"Um, yeah. I think so." He nodded confidently, like it wasn't a big deal. "I loved Katherine, and I could have loved Bethany, if I had the chance. I didn't love Sarah, but I think I loved..."

"Wait." I spat out. "How many girlfriends have you had?"

He laughed and kissed my forehead. "Let's just say, I always have one." This made my stomach turn. What was I getting myself into?

"And you think you loved that many?" I asked with disbelief.

"Absolutely." His voice held more confidence that I could even possess. "I fall in love easily," he winked at me. "And once I'm in, I'm in." He smiled, but the feeling of being betrayed got stronger. I wasn't ready for love, I wasn't able to do it. I wasn't ready for what he was expecting, but after only two weeks he was acting as though he wanted to put a ring on my finger. Laying there with him, so vulnerable and close, how could I say no to anything he requested? "This is different than all of those, though." He whispered again. It hit me then, that I was so determined to start my life over, that I forgot to concentrate on what made me happy, instead I just focused on what no one expected me to do. Maybe being myself wasn't such a bad thing. But laying here, as my friends were all on a road trip, enjoying themselves, I couldn't turn back.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm tired of short lived relationships, I wanna do this, I wanna be in this for the long run. Are you in?" His words smelled of promise and new beginnings, unlike anything I could have hoped for before. But coming from Gavin, they weren't what I thought they'd be. "Although, maybe we should keep this quiet," He smiled, completely compelling me. "I just broke up with LeAnn, I don't want to hurt her, and if it gets back to her ... I still care about her, I never want to hurt her, like I'd never hurt you. But if you can do that..."

"I'm in." I felt obligated to say. He made me feel like he was putting a lot on the line to be with me, so I owed him a commitment. But I wasn't in, I wasn't close to in. I was so far out he could barely see me from as far in as he was. I was out, and lingering, but all I wanted to do was run.