Notes: Ok, it's trial time. I would like to make a little disclaimer, I am not a lawyer and everything I know about trials is courtesy of the television haha so if I have made any glaring inaccuracies or otherwise have written complete ridicularity for those scenes I hope you all can find it in your heart's to forgive me. There should be 1 maybe 2 more chapters left in Disclosure after this. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
CH 24: Zero Hour
The mood in the precinct was palpably tense in the days leading up to Kearns' trial. By the day before the stress was at a breaking point. The media had been crawling around; lines within the force had been drawn. Members of the homicide unit walked on eggshells around Jane. She could tell her colleagues were treading lightly and it pissed her off; she didn't like that Kearns was being given that power over their lives.
This just needs to be over. Jane splashed some cold water from the sink in the women's restroom on her face as she looked up and into the mirror. I look like shit. The trip to the Super Bowl had been a welcome interlude but reality came bearing down like a mack truck as soon as they had gotten back. Maura wasn't sleeping at night, she would toss and turn, get in and out of bed and eventually give up and read a book until she would finally slump over for a few hours of sleep in the early dawn. Jane had tried everything to soothe her restlessness, every sleep-aid home remedy she could think of: warm vanilla milk before bed, hot baths, massages, attempting to hold her through the night, soft music. Nothing worked, Maura couldn't sleep, so Jane stayed up with her so she wouldn't feel alone.
It was wearing both of them down, the anticipation; Jane wasn't sure how much more either of them could take.
Maura didn't look much better than Jane. So exhausted from the sleepless nights she barely put makeup on in the mornings, nor did she style her hair opting for a light dusting of powder and blush a sheer lip gloss and her hair in a ponytail. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot and her hands shook from the copious amounts of coffee she drank in a last ditch effort to appear somewhat present at work. She wasn't sure how long she had been blankly staring at the open file in front of her when Jane stepped into her office.
"Hey," Jane said placing her hand on Maura's shoulder as she pulled a nearby chair over to sit in.
"Hey," Maura responded massaging the bridge of her nose in a futile attempt to beat back the raging headache that was brewing behind her eyes.
"How'd your meeting with Schilling go?"
Maura sighed, letting her hand fall to her desk as she looked at Jane, "I don't really want to talk about it."
"Umm, ok…" Jane's eyebrows furrowed, "it's just, is there…did he say anything I need to know before tomorrow, anything else we should do?"
"What more would there be to know? In fact, I'm getting really sick of being trial coached like I'm some idiot that's never seen the inside of a courtroom…" Maura voice started to ratchet up in volume and pitch.
Jane reached for her hand, "Baby, it's just, this is different…"
Maura jerked her hand away and swung her chair to face Jane, "I know it's different! Don't you think I know that! And I'm tired of being told it's different like everyone expects me to start acting like some fragile damaged victim. I've been over the testimony, I don't need to be prepped and drilled by the ADA like some kind of imbecile who would be easily confused by a defense attorney that I have a significantly higher IQ than! I don't need you telling me to what to wear to court to incur jury sympathy as if I would walk in looking like a streetwalker and I don't need you coming down here again to try and press me to go to the shrink with you this afternoon like I'm some kind of basket case who's so out of touch with herself that she needs professional help to process her feelings. What I do need is for everyone to just leave me alone so I can get this work done before the next few days inconvenience me any further!"
By the end of the tirade Maura was shouting. Jane's shoulders sagged with the weight of her girlfriend's obvious stress and pain; she couldn't fix it and at that moment Maura didn't want to be fixed. Jane nodded and without a word exited the morgue.
Dr. Gloria Stevens stepped out of her office to motion for Jane to come in. Jane hadn't been back to the psychiatrist since her last mandatory session; but, with the pressure and tension that had been accruing in the days leading up to the trial she had decided it would be helpful to talk to someone that wasn't her mother, colleague or Maura though she had hoped Maura might go with her.
"So," Gloria started, "tell me what's going on."
Jane laughed, "How much time do we have?"
Gloria smiled back, the same warm inviting smile that had helped Jane work through her issues after the shooting, "I would say, knowing what is scheduled to take place tomorrow I can clear my calendar and give you as much time as you need."
Jane launched into the story of the night of the assault to fill Gloria in, "And now, it's just, she was doing so well…we were doing so well and over the last few days it's just gone completely to shit. It's like she's reliving the attack all the time and she's so stressed out, she barely eats, she won't sleep and she's angry and I don't know what else to do to try and help her but she doesn't even want my help and this is the first time in our relationship that I've been really scared. I feel like she's pushing me away. I feel like I'm losing her…" The words caught in her throat as she felt the tears begin to pool behind her eyes.
There was a knock at the door; Gloria rose to answer it, "Hold that thought, my apologies."
As the doctor opened the door Jane turned to see Maura standing in the threshold. Gloria stepped aside giving Maura entrance. Jane stood as Maura burst into tears.
"Hey…hey…shhh," Jane whispered, tears silently trickling down her own face as she gathered Maura up in her arms.
"I'm…sorry…I yelled at you," Maura sobbed into her neck.
"It's ok," Jane reassured her.
Maura lifted her head to look at Jane, trying to get herself under control, "It's not ok, I'm not ok. And I didn't mean it when I said I didn't need you around because I do, I need you and you're the only thing that's kept me even remotely together leading up to tomorrow…"
Jane pulled Maura forward to kiss her forehead and then enveloped her in another embrace, "We're going to get through this; I just want to help you, like you helped me."
Gloria sat back down in her chair, "Why don't we all take a seat and see what I can do to help both of you."
"Jane, I just feel really nauseous…" Maura pushed the untouched plate of food away.
"I know Maur, but you've hardly had anything to eat. Just…try."
Maura spent the next half hour slowly force-feeding herself tiny miniscule bites of food, battling the urge to run retching to the bathroom. When she couldn't bear to eat anymore she looked at Jane, her pleading expression asking if she'd eaten enough.
With a reassuring smile Jane took the plates to the kitchen and then took Maura by the hand leading her to the bedroom, "Come on, you're exhausted, let's see if we can get a little sleep."
Jane slipped into the bed behind Maura molding her long body around her girlfriend's curves. She moved Maura's hair off her neck so she could place light kisses there as she massaged and stroked Maura's arm.
"You took the whole day off tomorrow?" Maura asked with a tone of concern.
"Of course," Jane whispered into her neck, "wherever you are during this, that's where I am."
Maura squeezed Jane's hand bringing it to her lips to place a grateful kiss over one of the scars, "Thank you."
One. The number of hours by Jane's count that they had actually slept that night. Three. The number of times Maura vomited that morning as they got ready to go to the courthouse. Jane sat behind her on the bathroom floor holding her hair and wiping her face and neck with a cool damp washcloth.
"This must seem really silly," Maura sniffled as she got up from the floor to try and finish getting dressed.
Jane handed her a glass of water, "It doesn't seem silly at all. You're stressed and your scared, of seeing him, of what the end result is going to be and this is how your body is reacting. Maura, I'm stressed and I'm scared too, and it's taking every part of me not to hatch some hair-brained scheme to run across the courtroom and choke that fuck to death with my bare hands."
Maura leaned into Jane tucking her head into Jane's neck, "Jeff said the trial should only last a couple of days. Can you put up with me acting like this that much longer?" She chuckled.
"With all you put up with when I was bitching and moaning after the shooting? Yeah, I think I can deal with it."
The courtroom was sure to be packed. Judith and William and Angela, Frank and Frankie had all stopped by the ADA's office to see Jane and Maura before heading down to take a seat. All of the women officers present that night were there, granted Gretchen, Cpt. Franklin, Sarah and Deena, were all scheduled to be called as witnesses because they witnessed part of the assault. Frost, Korsak and Cavanaugh were also in attendance as were several other officers that were off duty that day. Sgt. Wilcox from the Dive Unit was expected to attend as well.
Jane waited with Maura in the ADA's office until she was called, which was relatively early in the morning of the first day of the trial. They walked to the courtroom escorted by an officer of the court.
"You're sure I look ok?" Maura asked, fidgeting with her suit jacket.
"Absolutely, you're going to be fine, and you know exactly where I'll be sitting so you can look at me anytime you need to."
They walked into the courtroom and Jane took a seat as Maura proceeded to the stand.
After her swearing in, Jeffrey Schilling approached with a reassuring smile.
"Dr. Isles, please tell us about the first encounter you had with Officer Kearns."
"Objection! Relevance?" The defense attorney rose zealously.
"Your honor, past encounters speak to the defendant's history with Dr. Isles and establish context for his motivation and the hate crimes charge."
"Overruled." The judge said, adjusting his glass as he looked at Maura and nodded for her to answer.
Maura described the incident at the station's coffee counter when she had slipped and Kearns and the other members of the Dive Unit had laughed at her.
"Dr. Isles, could you tell us about the next time you encountered Officer Kearns?"
"The second time I encountered Officer Kearns was at Police League Bowling. I was bowling on a team with some of the officers with whom I am friends, and we were scheduled to bowl against the Dive Unit. When they arrived they once again mocked me for falling and spilling coffee on myself and then proceeded to call me and my girlfriend, Detective Jane Rizzoli, fags and dykes as they made lewd gestures towards their crotches."
"Dr. Isles, did Officer Kearns specifically make these comments?"
"Yes, when Jane and I kissed he said we were putting on a fag show and then specifically referred to Jane as a dyke."
"Dr. Isles, please tell us about the night of the assault."
"I was attending the Association of Women Officer's meeting with Jane. The Dive Unit had come in for drinks. I needed to use the restroom and excused myself, when I exited the stall, Officer Kearns was in the ladies restroom and was blocking the door. I didn't know what to do so I retreated back into the stall and locked the door. He then came under the stall door and grabbed me by the ankles pulling me off my feet. When I hit the floor the impact dislocated my shoulder."
Jeff placed some enlarged photos on an easel for the jury to see the bruising caused by the shoulder injury.
"He pulled me out of the stall and I started screaming for help and yelling no, that's when he hit me in the head and I was stunned momentarily until I felt him ripping my shirt off. I fought back as much as I could with my good arm. He was clawing at me trying to remove the rest of my clothes. At one point I looked down and I could see that he had unzipped his pants and his penis was exposed…" Maura paused as she started to become overwhelmed with emotion. She found Jane's face in the courtroom and nodded as Jane mouthed, "It's ok."
Jeff removed the photos of Maura's shoulder and placed additional photos of her other injuries up for the jury to view.
"I struggled against him for several minutes until some of the female officers, who had come looking for me, kicked the door in and pulled him off of me." Maura dabbed at her eyes with a tissue as she took a deep breath. When Jeff was done with his questioning the defense attorney rose.
He walked towards the stand, "Dr. Isles, would you say you dress provocatively?"
"Objection!" Jeff Schilling shot to his feet, "Your honor!"
"Sustained." The judge looked down over his glasses at the young defense attorney.
"Dr. Isles, in your time as Chief Medical Examiner, how many members of the Boston Police Department have you dated?"
"Objection! Your honor, the victim's dating history is not on trial here!" Jeff gestured at his opposing counsel.
"Objection Sustained, Counsel you are walking the edge with this line of questions. You are warned."
Maura devoured every bite of food Angela put in front of her that evening at dinner.
"Got your appetite back?" Jane joked running a hand through Maura's hair.
"I don't know why I was so scared of seeing him in court. Actually, it felt very freeing. I think I will come to court tomorrow to listen to the rest of the testimony if you'll go with me." Maura looked at Jane.
"You know I will."
Angela finished putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher and packaging up the leftovers as she came around Jane's bar to where her girls were sitting.
Maura stood and wrapped her arms around Angela, "Thank you for coming over to cook for us tonight."
"Anytime sweetheart, anytime. Frank and I will see you at the courthouse tomorrow."
"Ma, let me walk you to your car," Jane said grabbing her coat.
Once at her car, Angela fumbled in her purse for the keys.
"Ma, thank you."
"Janie, you know I'm happy to cook for you and Maura anytime."
"Not for the cooking Ma, for…everything else. For…accepting me and being so supportive and for making Maura a part of the family. It has really meant a lot to her, and it has meant a lot to me too."
Angela looked at her daughter, "Come here," she opened her arms and was slightly surprised when her invitation for a hug was accepted. "I'll always be there for you Jane. And Maura is as much my daughter now as you are, maybe not officially…yet…I mean, I do happen to know Nonna Berta gave you her wedding rings…"
"Don't ruin the moment Ma," Jane chastised with a joking chuckle.
"I love you Janie."
"I love you too Ma."