*** for those of you re-reading this, as of 1.16.11, this chapter has been changed! I didn't realize so many of my earlier chapters WERE TERRIBLE. ***

A/N: I'm already working on Chapter 4, so if you enjoy this chapter, and REVEIW! I'll do my best to post the next chapter tomorrow.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, including Jacob Black, no matter how much I may want to.

Well I haven't got it all figured out quite yet
But even if it takes my whole life
To get to where I need to be
And if I should fall to the bottom of the end
I'll be one step back to you
I'm trying to find my way
Trying to find my way
Oh, I'm trying to find my way

Trying - Lifehouse

It had been 2 weeks since the accident, and while the bruises and scratches had healed, they didn't seem any closer to helping Bella remember anything.

After a final round of tests to make sure everything was ok, Carlisle finally said she could go home the next day as soon as all the final paperwork was filled out.

Charlie had avoided Jacob as much as Jacob had avoided him, so as soon as Billy rolled himself into the waiting room and said that Bella was finally cleared to leave, he dashed down the hallway to Bella's room. He was desperately hoping that maybe he could finally talk about their relationship and where they were going from here, but when he reached her room, he noticed the door was already open a crack.

Hoping that meant she was looking to talk, he peeked in the window, and he was both happy and heartbroken as to what he saw - Bella was up, sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the room. She was talking and laughing, and he saw more happiness on her face then he had in weeks. But also sitting in the room was Edward. He growled softly, twitching in anger. He wanted to kill that disgusting bloodsucker. Edward smiled, and Jacob knew he had given himself away.

"Oh my god!" Bella cried, laughing. "That's the funniest story I've heard in a long time!" She threw back her head and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Wow, Edward, thanks for this. I haven't really laughed since I woke up!"

Edward smiled. "Glad I could be of service. Carlisle told me that you're getting out of here tomorrow. Could I offer my services as your escort around Forks? Perhaps seeing some familiar sights could help you remember things that being in a hospital doesn't."

Bella sat and thought. She knew Charlie and Renee probably wanted to do that, and she was tired of being around Jacob – he made her feel things she didn't understand. She didn't know what he wanted from her anyway. But then she felt bad all over again - she was supposed to be his best friend and it was obvious that he cared about her. But since she didn't know how she was supposed to feel, how was she supposed to know what she was going to do?

And then there was Edward – he was her boyfriend, she supposed, but at least he didn't pressure her. He wanted her, she could tell. She didn't know much, but that much was obvious. His body language was possessive, his eyes following her every move. But Jacob was needy, desperate for whatever forgiveness he thought was required before he could move on with his life. She couldn't even comprehend feeling responsible for someone else's feelings when she couldn't even begin to understand her own.

When she looked up, Edward was looking at her strangely. She blushed, and it made him laugh. "It's ok, love. Take your time. Whenever you feel like it, alright? I've got all the time in the world." He smiled smugly, and Jacob knew that this performance was for his benefit. Damnit. He'd forgotten about the mind reading bull shit. He knew better than that. He growled, and shivers shook his upper body. Edward's smile got larger and Bella, confused by his expression, smiled along.

Get a grip, Black, Jacob ordered himself. He took one last longing look at his Bella, then quickly turned and walked down the hall, down the stairs and out of the hospital.

Jacob sat alone in his bedroom. Edward. He thought they had come to some kind of understanding since the accident. But apparently loyalties didn't matter when it came to getting the girl. All he wanted to do was slam his fists through the thin plaster that surrounded him, but he figured that damage to his bedroom walls wouldn't fix his problems with Bella.

He thought of the first time he saw he when she moved back to Forks, of the trouble with Edward, with James, Laurent, and Victoria, with the whole werewolf business, of the times they had with the pack, of the hours in the garage fixing those bikes, of their nights on the beach and out in the woods, of the ups and downs and ins and outs and yet nothing he did would matter anymore if he couldn't share it with her. He needed her to know how much he wanted her, loved her, and needed her to share things with. Jacob didn't know if they were supposed to spend the rest of their lives together... but he did know that his future was nothing if she wasn't there to be a part of it.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He felt like crushing his desk into a thousand splinters, his fingers itching for something to destroy. Instead, he flipped on the stereo, letting the angry words and aggressive beat wash over him.

His fingers flexed unconsciously, opening and closing around his palms as he stared at the walls of his bedroom, not really seeing them. His entire body felt like it was in pain – it made him wish it would rain. He felt better when the world around him felt like crap too. Not that anything else mattered anymore. What was with Bella anyway? Didn't she want to remember him, remember her friends, remember her life?

Then he heard his phone ring. He looked at the caller ID. He barked out a short, bitter laugh. Charlie. He would only call if he didn't have any other numbers to dial. "Yeah?" He said as he picked up.

"Hey… Jake. It's Charlie," the voice was gruff. "Bella with you?"

"No. Why would she be? Not like she has a clue who I am," He growled, feeling the anger rise up in his chest again.

"No? Then where is she?"

"Maybe you should ask Edward," and with that, Jacob hung up and hit the power button. He didn't feel like talking with anyone.

Suddenly, there came a soft knock on the door. Expecting Billy or Sam, he said, "Go away. I don't feel like talking with anyone right now." He pulled off his shirt roughly, planning on taking a shower. He needed something to take his mind off her. What he really needed was to phase, but he was too afraid to separate himself from Bella. Despite the anger, he wanted to be somewhere she could find him…. When she was ready.

The knock came again. Jacob rolled his eyes and the familiar anger rose again. He welcomed it – this might be the only real thing he had left. Pissed off all over again, he stomped to the door. "I really don't want to ta-" He jerked open the door, almost falling over in surprise at who he saw on the other side.

"Not even to me?"

"What are you doing here?"

Bella smiled shyly. "Alice dropped me off. I wasn't sure where to find you, but she said you were probably here. I figured we should talk." She furrowed her brow. "Although, she didn't seem very happy to bring me here. She looked… uncomfortable."

He grinned, ignoring what she said about the bloodsucker. He could care less about that leech right now. He should have been mad that she'd come over the treaty line, but he also figured Alice had weighed driving Bella here against explaining the whole vampire/werewolf thing.

But, God was it good to see her. Then he noticed she was checking out the proud peaks and valleys of his chest and grinned even more. Oh, this was good.

"Come in," He said, and stepped back so she could follow him inside. He grabbed his t-shirt off the floor and pretended to not see her looking at him for half a second more before putting it on.

"So... you said you wanted to talk?" Jacob asked, reclining on the bed against his elbows. He wanted to appear relaxed, but his insides were twisted into knots. He wanted to leap across the room, holding onto her and never letting go, but somehow he managed to restrain himself.

"Um... yeah," she said, nervously twisting her hair. Seeing him shirtless had distracted her more than she expected. And to top it off, there was the disappointment that had welled up in her gut when he'd covered himself up again. "I guess there's a lot of things that should probably be said, and I'm just never sure what to say anymore cause I don't want to upset anyone and yet I feel like that's all I'm ever doing anyway and it's so frustrating and I guess I just..." She stopped and laughed uncomfortably. "Wow, I'm totally rambling. Sorry."

Jacob smiled. "No, honey, it's ok. I'm just glad you're here."

Bella smiled back and finally looked him in the eyes. "Me too."

"So what's on your mind, Bella?" Jacob asked, crossing his legs and relaxing in the bed, hoping that it conveyed a laid backing image, even though calm was the last thing he was feeling.

"Well..." Bella said slowly, feeling awkward and blushing furiously as she felt his eyes burning into her skin. "I know you came by my room today and never came in. I wondered if you saw Edward and that's why you didn't come in... I don't know what to do. I know that I'm supposed to have these loyalties and feelings towards people, but I don't feel them right now because I can't remember why I'm supposed to."

"Ook.." Jacob said, leaning forward a little. He was starting to get nervous. He rubbed his palms together anxiously, frowning at the floor.

"Edward asked me if he could take me around Forks, show me some familiar sights in hopes that I might remember things. When I thought about it, I knew that Charlie and Renee would probably want to do it, but at the moment I was tired of trying to do the right things for people when I wasn't sure why I was supposed to be doing them."

Jacob studied his left foot and started chewing a nail. He felt overwhelmed, like his skin was going to jump off of his body.

Bella noticed his change in body language and sighed. She didn't know why he was suddenly so nervous, but she had apparently upset him again. This might be harder then she thought. "And I know this is hard on you when you have all these memories with me that I can't remember right now. I know you all are trying your best to not pressure me, but it's happening anyway, and logically, I understand why, even though emotionally, I feel like a train wreck."

Jacob looked back up at her. He felt bile in his throat again and he fought to keep himself in control. "I've been really trying. But it's hard to look at my best friend and realize that when she looks at me all she sees is a stranger." He rose off the bed and slowly crossed the room. When she didn't back away from him, he stepped closer.

Then when he was near enough, he placed his hands lightly on her upper arms, rubbing up and down very carefully, like he would break her by pressing too hard. She watched his delicate movements for a moment, baffled that such large hands be so gentle. "I know," Bella replied softly. "It's obviously not a perfect situation."

Jacob laughed, trying not to get overly confident by the fact that she was allowing him to touch her. "You're telling me."

"I guess what I'm trying to say," Bella went on, "Is that I really am trying. I like you, Jacob... Jake. You seem like a good guy. You're smart and funny and to tell you the truth… the one word that keeps coming to mind is… beautiful."

Jacob laughed again, exhilarated by her description of him. He was barely able to stop himself from pulling her closer.

"But right now, it's difficult to look at you as my... best friend. I can't remember you. I can't remember anyone. I'm not saying that I don't want to spend time with you and try and build a relationship with you, but I also want you to know that I don't want to waste anyone's time here. I know you care about me, but maybe spending so much time with an amnesiac isn't what you need right now."

Jacob stopped breathing. "I don't want to not be with you."

"I figured you would say that."

Jacob pulled her a little closer, and he almost died when he felt her gentle breath on his face. He inhaled, taking in her soft scent, so familiar… like vanilla and strawberries. His hands slid slowly down her arms until he was able to take both of her hands in his. Bella stared as his large hands covered hers, almost fascinated by his dark rough skin in comparison to her paleness. He was so warm, and being this close to him made her think of the forest, the dirt, of sunlight…

"I know things are hard on everyone right now," Jacob began, his voice soft and husky. "I know that when you look at me you don't see the guy you saw a few weeks ago. I know you can't help that. But all I'm asking you for is a chance. A chance to show you what you mean to me. I'll do anything and everything to make you happy - that's all I've wanted since you first came back to Forks. I don't care if we have to start all over again from the beginning - it doesn't matter to me if you don't remember the first time we met, our first walk on the beach, our first fight, our first anything, because if we need to we can make some new firsts - a new start. That's ok with me. But I'm begging you, Bella... please. Please don't give up on me yet. I know it's a lot to ask. And I'm sorry if this is too much for you. Maybe I'm being selfish. But there are a few things in life that matter too much to let them slip through your fingers, and you are one of those things to me. In time, Bella, in time I'm sure we can fix this and you'll see that I can make you happy. Please give me a chance..."

Bella's eyes started to well with tears by his third sentence. Who was this guy and what on earth was she going to do?

There was a long silence as Jacob watched her face, rubbing his thumbs carefully over her palms, waiting, hoping, praying for some kind of reaction.

Bella stared at him, unsure of what to do. Her mind screamed at her to back away, to maintain some distance between them, but her body wouldn't obey. She watched as hopeful emotions flickered across his handsome features and she felt an unfamiliar ache build inside her chest. She found herself wanting to comfort him, though for the life of her, she couldn't figure out why. Her conscious mind had no idea who this man was, but apparently her heart felt otherwise.

A loud bang interrupted them as someone opened the front door. "Hey Jake! I'm home!" A man's voice announced.

They both jumped and laughed nervously, blushing slightly, like school children with a first crush. Jacob reluctantly dropped her hands and walked across the room to his door. "Hey Dad!" he called between the crack he created between the door and it's frame. "Bella's here – I'll be out in a second!" He closed his eyes momentarily, leaning his forehead against the wood. He cursed himself for not doing something to make the moment last longer.

"So..." Jacob started to say, turning around to face her again, not wanting to wait another second to hear what she had to say about his heart baring confession, "what do-"

But again the moment was interrupted, this time by a cell phone. They looked around, confused, before Bella remembered she was even carrying one. "Sorry!" she laughed, digging in her purse. "I keep forgetting about this thing." She answered. "Hello?... oh yeah Mom... I'm with Jacob. Yes, Jacob!... Yes, at his house. Where else would we be?...Ok, look I'm sorry! I forgot about the dinner thing whatever... Will you have Dad come pick me up? Oh... Ok then. I guess that's fine... Alright, bye." She rolled her eyes as she hung up. "Sorry, Jake. I have to go. Alice tells me that my dad has always been protective and since the accident he's been freaking out at the drop of a hat."

Jacob laughed, still fighting off disappointment. "It's ok. Family duty calls. But can we talk again later? I'd really like to finish this conversation... maybe after you've had some time to think about it."

Bella looked down at her shoes. "Um yeah, Jake, sure…" she said.

He worried that he had upset her again, but then she looked up and gave him the biggest smile he'd seen from her since she woke up. "I'd really like that," She said.

He mentally wiped his brow. 'Whew,' he thought. 'considered a heart attack for a second there.' Then he said to her, "Great. Just give me a call later. You still have my number programmed in there right?" He gestured towards her cell phone.

"Oh yeah," Bella nodded, looking at the item in her hand. "I've had to learn all over again how to use this. Driving should be interesting."

They both laughed. He walked back over to her. "Um... can I ask for a hug?" he said tentatively.

He looked so hopeful and like such a scared little boy, despite the muscles and the chiseled features, that she just couldn't say no. She held out her arms.

Jacob stepped slowly into her, and was overwhelmed by her... her smell, the feel of her body heat, her skin, the delicate fabric of the T she wore... he could have died right then and would have been happy.

Bella, on the other hand, was shocked at the electricity that shot through her veins when her body connected with his. He was so hot… literally. But then she saw him, images spinning so quickly through her head that she could hardly make sense of them... he seemed younger somehow, his hair long and thick…her red truck… a man in a wheelchair… walk on the beach… the Cold Ones?

So surprised was she that she didn't even noticed when he had pulled away from her. When she blinked, she noticed him looking at her strangely. "Are you alright, Bella?" Jacob asked, looking concerned.

"What? Oh. Yeah... fine. Sorry," She said backing away, avoiding looking at his face as much as possible. Jacob tried to reach for her, but she turned quickly and headed for the door. "I promise, Jake! We'll talk later!"

Walking quickly outside and shutting the door behind her, she stopped and leaned against the wall along the side of the house where she hoped Jacob couldn't see her. What was going on? She wasn't too sure what had just happened, but she knew he was the reason why. Was she remembering things?

She had to talk to Alice.