Enjoy!

Italics are dreams, in case that isn't obvious.

Disclaimer - I am not SM, no matter I much I wish I was!

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all…
You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand…

Pain - Three Days Grace

"Jacob Black!" she giggled, smacking his hands as they wondered across her quickly expanding belly towards the waistband of her maternity pants. "I told you not right now! As you can see, I am trying to cook you dinner!"

"Mmmm…." he moaned softly into her ear. "I know something that would taste much better…"

This time, the spatula came down on his hands, whacking against them repeatedly. He smiled at her feeble attempts to distract him. He reached up to grab her wrists lightly, forcing her to stop her half-hearted assault on him. She gasped as he spun her around to press her back against the countertop, forcing her hips to press into his. "Can't you see what you do to me, Mrs. Black?" He murmured, catching her delicate earlobe between his teeth.

"Support his head, Quil!"

"You have to keep a better grip on his shoulders! I can't hang on to his legs if you don't hold him up!"

"Shut up! I'm trying to call Carlisle!"

She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at him. "Is that so, Mr. Black?"

He nodded, biting his lip. He looked down sheepishly, and then back up. "Please, wife?"

She laughed at him them. "Can I finish dinner first?" Her smile grew wider. "I wouldn't want my poor husband to starve to death. He has the appetite of an animal!"

He returned her smile, leaning in to her soft lips… once, twice, three times… each one with a little more pressure than the last…. He pulled away from her then, giving her a gently swat on the hip. "Fix my dinner, woman!"

Her giggles returned, and the sound of it followed him as he made his way out of the room. God, he loved her…

"His head is still bleeding, Sam! I can't keep enough pressure on it!"

"Just do the best you can! Carlisle will meet us at Jake's!"

"Breathe, honey… breathe…" He crooned softly in her ear, pushing away the sweaty strands of hair that had glued themselves to her forehead.

"Don't tell me to breathe, Jacob Black!" she snapped, her brown eyes flashing angrily at him. "I'd like to see you breath with a 10 pound bowling ball in your crotch." she continued to mutter, her eyes narrowing. "Don't you tell me to breathe…"

He managed to avoid a smile. Damn, she was sexy when she was mad. He resumed his gentle stroking of her forehead. Anything to keep her calm. He turned his attention to the heart monitor on the other side of the bed. The gentle whooshing sound filled the room, and he felt his chest swell at the sound.

A baby's heartbeat… his baby's heartbeat.

"Hurry up!"

"We have got to move faster! Embry, you need to keep a better hold on his neck!"

"Oh my God, Sam… the blood is everywhere!"

It broke his heart to hear her scream. Her teeth clamped shut, and she grunted painfully, her face contorting as another contraction shuddered along her belly. "It's time to push," The doctor said, settling himself into his position at the bottom of the bed. He reached up under the blankets,

moving his hands along her stomach. "Yup, you're looking great! A few pushes and you can finally meet your baby!"

Her breath came in ragged gasps, and she clutched the bed sheets frantically. Her terrified gaze fell on Jacob. "I'm scared," she mouthed to him desperately.

"I know, baby," he whispered back. "I love you."

"We're almost back at the house - does Billy know we're coming?"

"I called him - He knows!"

"Watch out for the rock - no one trip over it!"

"How's the head wound?"

"It's still bleeding! I can't - I can't get it to stop!"

"Just keep the pressure on! We're almost there!"

She screamed again, her face red with exhaustion. "One more push!" the doctor called. "Your baby is crowning - I can see the head!"

Tears streamed down her face. Her lips were dried and cracked, and she ran her tongue over them, trying to sooth that one small ache. Her eyes fell on him again. "Jacob," she choked out, reaching feverishly for his hand.

He grabbed her tightly and gently reached out to turn her face to his. "Look at me," he said roughly. "I need to see your eyes."

Her brown eyes flew open wide, her mouth formed a small 'o' as another contraction shook her small frame. "Last push - now!" the doctor commanded.

Her eyes clamped shut and Jacob reached for her face, cradling her cheeks in his large hands. "I'm right here baby…" Her eye lids snapped up and the final scream slipped past her lips.

"Get him inside! Dr. Cullen is on his way!"

"What the hell happened out there?"

"Vampire attack. A tree fell on him - we tried to… I'm so sorry!"

"Don't tell me how you're sorry! Tell me how you're going to help him!"

"We've called Carlisle - he's on his way!"

A shrill, warbling cry filled the room, and all the pain oozed out of her body. She collapsed against the pillows as she began to sob. The doctor emerged from the bottom of the bed, a small bundle in his arms.

"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Black," the doctor murmured, handing Jacob the blanketed infant. "It's a boy…."

If it was even possible, Jacob felt his heart clench even more painfully, happily, joyfully. My son, he thought of pride. He leaned over to rest their newborn child against her face. "Ephraim Charles Black…" she sighed quietly, tears of love slipping down her reddened cheeks. "It's nice to finally meet you."

Jacob leaned down, gently placing his lips on hers. "You are amazing," he breathed into her hair. "I'm so proud of you."

"I love you, Jacob Black," she whispered fiercely, her gaze capturing his. "I'll always love you…"

The pain severed his peaceful vision, and the agonizing grief he felt as it slipped away caused a rattling howl to wrench itself from his chest. Voices surrounded him suddenly, and he felt the wetness slid out from under his tightly clenched eyelids. He desperately prayed for the darkness to take him again, anything to bring her back to him.

To his relief, it returned quickly, and he reveled in it, rushing headlong into the swallowing state of unconsciousness….

Bella bounced in her seat, unable to find another way to expel the pent up tension she felt inside. Her fingers twisted together nervously as she debated whether or not to ask Charlie what had happened to Jacob. She wanted to know - it made her crazy thinking that she might be freaking out over a cut on the head. But if she did ask - she was afraid Charlie would tell her it was much more serious than she feared.

Charlie, after watching her anxiously fidget for a majority of the ride, finally broke the silence. "Bells," he said softly.

Bella was so surprised by the sudden noise in the quiet car that she jumped, and whacked the side of her head on the window in the process.

Charlie managed to find enough self control to not stomp on the breaks and pull over. "Are you alright?" he practically screamed, his eyes darting between the road and his daughter, his own nerves terribly frayed from Bella's recent injuries.

She nodded, wincing, rubbing the spot where her skull had connected with the glass. "You've got to stop surprising me like that, Dad," she mumbled.

He managed an awkward laugh that sounded more like a dying parrot than anything else. "Sorry, Bells," he replied, finally able to loosen the tight grip he had been maintaining on the steering wheel. All I wanted to say was that Jacob will be fine. He's young and strong, and I'm sure Dr. Cullen is already at his house fixing him up."

Bella's brow furrowed. "Why is Dr. Cullen making a house call? Wouldn't it be better for Jacob to go to the hospital?"

Charlie shrugged. "I'm not sure. He does that for a few families on the reservation. Maybe because they feel uncomfortable going to a 'white man's hospital'," he said, making finger quotations in the air. "It's probably just a precautionary visit anyway. But Billy's a wreck, and I thought it would be best to keep him company for a bit." He nudged Bella's thigh with his fist. "And besides, I'm sure Jacob would be more than happy to see you."

Bella grimaced and rolled her eyes. "We're just friends, Dad. Geez. Jacob mentioned that you gossip like two old women and now I know what he meant."

Charlie laughed and reached over to give her hand a squeeze. "We just want you two kids to be happy, that's all. After everything that our families have been through, a little happiness wouldn't be a bad thing…" His voice trailed off and he swallowed hard. He opened his mouth to say something else, but then he promptly closed his lips again.

"I know, Dad," Bella whispered, squeezing his hand back. "Trust me, I know…"

"Jacob! Stop it!" Carlisle demanded. "I need to reset these bones in your shoulder and I can't do that if you won't hold still!"

Jacob growled and tried to push him away. "Take your fucking hands off me!" He started to move in an attempt to sit up, but the searing pain in his shoulder forced him back down on the bed. His head screamed in agony and he gagged, but managed to keep himself from retching all over the good doctor. He took a few deep breaths, reaching up to rub his forehead with his good hand.

"Jacob Black!" Carlisle snapped. "You have a shattered shoulder, a torn rotator cuff, several broken ribs and a fairly severe skull fracture. If you didn't heal so quickly, you might have been dead by now. Now let me reset your shoulder before your bone knit together the wrong way and you never again have full use of your arm!"

Jacob scowled at him and winced from the pain even the most minute movement caused. "Well, shut the fuck up and fucking fix it then, damnit!" he growled, the sweat beading on his forehead. The throbbing inside his skull increased and he swore he would never move again. He slowed his breathing even more, forcing himself to focus on the air as it moved in and out of his lungs. His chest didn't hurt quite so much now, and he assumed that the cracked ribs were well on their way to being completely healed. The urge to vomit slowly subsided and he was able to relax the tension that arched across his facial muscles.

He wished Carlisle had just left him unconscious. It probably would have been easier that way. He rolled his eyes as he watched Carlisle work, his fingers moving along Jacob's ribs, collarbone, neck, shoulder.

He wanted to dream again. He needed to dream again.

Carlisle raised an eyebrow at Jacob, watching the emotions play across the young man's face, but didn't call attention to it. His cold hands drifted along Jacob's shoulder, feeling along the skin for different cracks and bumps. When he would find a piece of lost bone or a fragment that didn't belong, he would manipulate it with his fingers, pressing down to force each piece back in place. Jacob clenched his teeth, a hiss of breath escaping his tightly clamped lips each time another bone cracked. And though he would never, ever, say it out loud, the leech's cold hands came in handy for once. Who needed ice when you had a vamp on hand? He smiled at his own joke, but it was quickly erased with a gasp as Carlisle broke yet another bone.

By the time Carlisle was finished, Jacob's sheets were soaked in sweat, and he was visibly straining from the effort it took to keep from throwing up. He couldn't even bear to open his eyes anymore as the pain in his head expanded exponentially. He could literally feel the swelling and he prayed again for unconsciousness.

"Isn't there anything you can give him?" Billy asked quietly, as he and Carlisle talked in the hallway. "He may heal quickly, but that doesn't mean that he can't feel the pain."

"I do have some morphine, but I don't know how long it will help him. The higher body temperature and metabolism makes dosage difficult. It will burn off of his system rather quickly. But I am worried that his system will go into shock from the pain." His brows knitted together in seriousness. "If he wasn't… Jacob… he would have died, Mr. Black. His ribs are almost healed and his shoulder will be 100% within a week, but the skull fracture has me worried. It's healing, but the brain is such a delicate thing. I wish we could somehow to take him to the hospital so I could monitor him better, but unfortunately we both know that is impossible."

Billy nodded gravely and Carlisle looked away as Billy fought back tears. "So what can we do?"

"I'm going to sedate him, for now. It should put him out for a few hours. I'll go over to the hospital, see if I can somehow borrow some equipment for the next few days. I can't guarantee anything, but I will do my best. In the meantime, should anyone outside of the pack visit, I suggest you tell them it's a dislocated shoulder and a concussion. I know it will be odd for people to see him sleeping with a concussion, but just tell them I am monitoring him. That way no one will worry."

"Um, Charlie and Bella are on their way here. I, uh… didn't want to be alone…" he coughed and rubbed his eyes viciously. "Perhaps you can wait a few minutes to sedate him? Maybe a short visit with Bella will calm him."

Carlisle turned his head to study Jacob. "Perhaps it will help." He pursed his lips as if he wanted to say more, but nodded his head instead. "I will wait in the living room until they are finished."

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen," Billy whispered, his eyes on his son. "Thank you…"

Bella barely managed to keep herself from leaping out of the car and sprinting into the house. Instead, she forced herself to open the car door slowly, like a normal person, and wait for Charlie to lock it up so they could make the approach together. They found Billy sitting on the front porch in his wheelchair, his face contorted in worry and pain. Charlie laid a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. "How is Jacob?"

Billy sighed and tossed a backwards glance towards the house. "Dr. Cullen is with him now. He's trying to give him a sedative to keep him calm but Jake's all worked up about something." His glance cut to Bella. "He keeps asking about you."

A deep blush filled Bella's cheeks and she slapped her palms against them in embarrassment. "We, um… kind of had a fight at Emily's earlier." In truth, since Charlie had told her that Jacob was hurt, she'd completely forgotten about their disagreement. She groaned inwardly. Shows how important that fight was.

Billy's incriminating gaze finally moved away from her and back towards the house. "I think he was, uh, going for a run. Fell off the path. I think Carlisle said it was a concussion and dislocated shoulder."

Bella wondered how a doctor could possibly diagnose that from someone's personal bedroom but decided it wasn't worth the effort to ask. There were just too many questions around here. She could only hope in time that she would figure out the answers and get her life back to normal….

Her thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of Sam in the doorway. He looked at Bella. "He's asking for you."

He's asking for you. Simple as that. She swallowed hard against the baseball sized lump that had lodged in her throat. I'm afraid. That was all she could think. Could he forgive her after everything she had said to him just a few hours before? For throwing Edward in his face? For dismissing his endless patience and friendship over something she couldn't even begin to understand?

Bella entered the house slowly, her body steering her while her brain had no idea where it was headed. She passed Dr. Cullen in the living room. She stopped then, leaning against the couch, her fingers fidgeting with the loose threads in the cushion. "Is he, um… is he going… Oh god!" She whispered hoarsely, her breath coming in harsh gasps. "Carlisle, what have I done?"

He crossed the room quickly, enveloping her in his frosty embrace. "It's not your fault, Bella…" Carlisle whispered. "It is only natural for you to feel upset, but you can not blame yourself for everything that happens to the people that you love." He grimaced. If only it were that easy.

Bella shook her head violently. "No, you don't understand! We had a fight and I was so nasty to him! He probably went for a run because of our argument! And if I hadn't been such a jerk, this never would have happened!"

Carlisle leaned out of her tight grasp, holding her by the shoulders so he could look into her face. "Do not blame yourself, Bella. Do not. It will not help Jacob to see you this way." He tilted up her chin, forcing her to make eye contact. "If you can not hold it together, I will not allow you into that room, do you understand me?"

She nodded meekly, roughly brushing away her tears. "O-of c-course, Dr. Cullen," she sniffed. Bella ran her hands through her hair, trying to separate the snarls and make herself a little more presentable.

Carlisle smiled at her. "Go on, now, my dear. He's waiting."

She turned her face towards his door and slowly, painfully almost, forced her feet in Jacob's direction. Her heart ached to think what lay on the other side of that thin wood door. Her heart clutched in panic, but her feet kept moving. When her hand landed on the cool brass knob, she wondered in confusion at the tight heat in her chest. With a whoosh she let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding.

Before her brain could stop her, she opened the door, revealing a pale, shaking Jacob. His eyes opened to slits, and it took him a moment to process the image before him. "Beelllaaa…" he whispered softly.

"Hey Jake," she whispered back. She closed the door softly and crossed the room to him, kneeling next the bed. But when she moved her eyes up his trembling frame and looked into his face, the miniscule amount of confidence she had used to force herself to walk into the room quickly vanished. "Oh, Jake," she croaked out. Her eyes filled with tears again, and she stubbornly refused to let them fall. "I am so sorry…"

He managed a hiss of a laugh. "Don't feel sorry, Bells," he sighed, using his good hand to reach up and tangle in her hair. "I was being stupid, not paying any attention. I shouldn't have been out so late in the woods. I know better."

"But…. you wouldn't have been out there if it wasn't for me!" Bella choked on the words, almost afraid to bring it all up again.

He stiffened slightly at the memory. "I don't know if I want to talk about that right now…" He just couldn't run of the risk of becoming angry again.

Bella sniffed against the tears and laid her forehead down on his thigh. His eyes widened as he took careful notice of how close she was to him. Shit, if I wasn't in so much damn pain this might actually be a turn on. "So…. you're not mad anymore?" Jacob asked hesitantly, tearing his eyes away from the visual of Bella's head in his lap to focus on something more neutral… like the ceiling.

"Um… no, not mad, exactly," Bella turned her face away, mumbling into the sheet as she recalled her ridiculous behavior.

Jacob clamped his lips together and focused on his breathing. The heat of her breath spread along his thigh and he knew that he could not have picked a worse moment for Bella to remind him how sexy she was. He shifted just slightly, hoping to avoid another round vicious pain in his head, but he also needed her to move her lips somewhere other than a place 6 inches from his groin.

She looked up at him when he moved, her eyes full of concern. "Are you alright, Jake?"

He nodded and reached for her hand. "I'm just glad you're here, Bells." He was flooded with relief when she gave him a smile.

"I'm glad that Billy called," she replied, rubbing her thumb along his palm.

He hissed sharply, closing his eyes. She had to stop doing that. When he opened his eyes, she was staring at him, a frightened look in her eyes. "I'm fine…" he mumbled, closing his eyes again.

Bella waited until she was sure he was ok before she spoke. "Jake?" she asked cautiously.

"Yeah, honey?"

"Why…. um…" She stumbled over her words, unsure if she should even say them to begin with. Bella bit her lip angrily, silently cursing herself for not having better self control. It was stupid to think that now was a good time to ask about Seth's idiotic comments.

"You can say it, Bells," Jacob whispered, watching her face as a myriad of emotions flashed across her delicate features. He knew what she wanted to know and he wished he could answer the questions that she had. But not now. It wasn't the right time. He only hoped that he could make her see that.

She attempted a small, weak smile for him. "Why does Seth think he's a werewolf?"

He felt her gaze on him, and he didn't have to open his eyes to be aware of the heat of her question. "I told you, honey… he was being stupid. Seth has a tendency to say things that he doesn't mean and that don't make any sense to anyone but him."

She frowned at him, disappointed at the lies that so easily poured from his beautiful lips. "Jake, I may not have any memories, but that doesn't mean I was born yesterday. I know something is going on. The air is so full of secrets that there's hardly any oxygen left!" She snapped her mouth closed to stop her angry tirade from raining all over him. She sighed softly, and her thumb resumed it's gently journey across the pad of Jacob's hand. "I just… need to know that I can trust someone…"

Jacob groaned, but not from the pain of his injuries. Even without the memories, she still somehow knew the easiest way to tear down any of his resistance. "Bells…." he began, and then stopped. He almost didn't want to speak - it was easier than lying.

She watched him, waiting for his response. Then the realization hit her - he still wasn't going to tell her. The tears filled her eyes for the millionth time that day and this time, she didn't try and stop them. She raised his large hand to her lips, giving it a gentle kiss. "Goodbye, Jacob…" she whispered quietly, and before she could stop herself, she rose and walked out of the room.

The silence that slipped in the door after her was thick, and choking. He gagged on it, feeling the bile rising in his throat. He had lost another battle with her. No matter what he did, he was always defeated. The agony filled him up inside, spilling out in the form of a vicious scream. The pain overrode every nerve in his body and he screamed out his endless anguish, feeling the ache of his fractured heart as it burst into a million pieces….