October...
November...
I could tell from the snow that it was now December. I don't remember leaving the chair facing my window, ever. I might have gone to the bathroom or taken an occasional shower but my memory was shot. The hole in my chest was all that I could focus on. The edges were raw, they burned. Maybe if I could quit toying with it it would soothe but that was something I could not do. Call me a masochist.
Two children were playing outside. They looked like two puffy blue marshmallows with arms and legs. One brushed the hair out of her face before bending over to gather snow in her hands. I watched her sculpt the icy white blob into a perfect ball. She held it above her head proudly before throwing it at her playmate. The ball exploded against her companion and little pale diamonds fell to the ground. He looked up in shock then darted straight for her. The girl let out a high pitched screech while trying to run in her puffy attire. She didn't make it very far before he tackled her to the ground. He pinned her down and she continued to scream in delight. The boy hovered over her then sunk his lips to hers which silence her screams. My chest was cramping. I had to save her. He was going to kill her.
I stood up and took a step towards my window. I tapped on the transparent glass but the two tiny lovers paid no mind. "He is going to break your heart." I said. I did my best to warn her but she was so intoxicated by him that she couldn't hear the broken girl revealing her future to her. She was as good as gone.
"Bella, you're up!" I heard Charlie's voice behind me. I turned around.
"It's a miracle, I guess."
"Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?" Now that he mentioned it, I didn't remember the last time I had eaten anything. My stomach started cramping. I couldn't resist the thought of a meal.
"Yeah. Maybe some take out."
"You got it." Charlie left my doorway in an ear-to-ear grin. I couldn't help but smile too.
Outside I heard the door to the cruiser open and shut then the engine start and slowly trail away. I was alone again.
I walked out into the hallway and made my way into the tiny bathroom that Charlie and I shared. The tile floor was cold and sent a shiver through me. I bend down over the sink, turned the fawcett on and cupped my hands to capture the ice cold water. When my palms couldn't hold anymore I splashed the water on my face. I was suddenly more awake then I had been in months. I looked up into the mirror. Water was dripping from the tip of my nose and running down my face. I placed my hand on my chest. I looked like hell. My skin wasn't just pale anymore, it was snowy white. My eyes had no light in them. They were still muddy brown but there was nothing behind them. My hair was matted. It didn't tumble down my shoulders the way it used to. It was stuck, frozen in a greasy tangled state. I took a step back to examine my body. I was way too thin. My clothes hung over me instead of clutching my skin lightly like they were supposed to. I looked like a corpse. If I had the will I would have started weeping then, but there was none. No energy, no strength. Just a sick hope that maybe tonight would be the night that he would come back to me.
My reflection was haunting. I didn't want to look at it anymore so I decided to take a shower. I opened the sliding door of the shower and turned the handle to adjust the temperature to blazing hot. I shut the door again to let the water warm up and began to undress. First I unzipped my hoodie and tossed it on the floor then my shirt and tank top underneath. Before removing my bra I looked down and saw my ribs trying to escape from under my skin. I took my fingers and traced each bone. It hurt to see how far I let this state of numb go. I was literally skin and bone. I could see it. I was deteriorating in front of my own eyes. I shook my head and continued undressing. Once I was naked I stepped into the shower. At first touch the water burned my skin. I winced in pain but after a while I got used to the scolding heat. I stood there for a while, able to move but just not wanting to. Calm rushed over me. Peace flowed through my soul.
I heard a gentle tapping at the door.
"Bella?" Charlie hollered.
"Yeah, Dad?"
"I got you a burger, fries and a vanilla shake. Is that okay?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. Hurry up before it gets cold."
My stomach started growling again. I was quick but thorough washing my hair and body. When I finished I turned off the water which left me in the harsh reality of the cold. I hated being cold. I grabbed my towel that hung over the door and wrapped it around my twiggy frame. It gave me a little warmth, but not much.
I opened the bathroom door and took a step into the freezing air. I hurried my steps to my bedroom and shut the door. It was warmer in there. I threw my towel on the floor, grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt to wear. After putting my clothes on I started to brush my hair. It took ten minutes to get all the tangles out and by that time I was about to faint from lack of food.
I skipped downstairs to the kitchen and saw my meal on the table. I grabbed the burger and took a huge bite. It felt so good to eat. I grabbed the fries and shake and headed into the living room where Charlie was watching a Mariners game.
He was so focused on the game that he didn't see me come in and sit on the couch. I took a slurp of my milkshake and it sent a rush of cool down my throat.
"C'mon..." Charlie muttered to the TV screen. I giggled.
I finished my meal and sat on the couch watching the rest of the Mariners game. I wasn't at all interested, but it was all I could do. When the game ended Charlie turned to me with a surprised expression on his face.
"You finished it."
"Yeah. It was really good, thanks." He smiled.
"I'm gunna go to bed, Bells." He said offering me the remote.
"Me too." I said. Charlie pointed the remote at the TV and it powered off.
I went to the kitchen to throw away the paper basket that my food came in. Charlie followed me and grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with water from the fawcett.
"Thanks again for the food, Dad." I said.
"Don't mention it. I'm glad you actually ate it." I smiled.
He finished his shallow glass of water and set the empty cup in the sink. "I'm off to bed." He walked over to me and kissed my forehead. "Goodnight, Bells."
"Night, Dad." I heard his footsteps go to his bedroom then disappear as he shut the door. I walked up the stairs to my room and shut the door behind me. My bed was made but I didn't remember making it. I didn't think anything of it and crawled into the warmth of my comforter. Though I wasn't tired I wanted to sleep. Today was a good day, I thought. Hopefully it would be a good night, one without nightmares. I closed my eyes and waited patiently for the hope of a good night's sleep.
AN: I know this chapter was a little slow but things will be speeding up soon, I promise(: Thank you to everyone who has added this to their favorites and alerts. I checked my e-mail not even an hour after I posted the story and my inbox had so many messages, I was blown away! Thank you so much, and keep the R&R's comin'!