Disclaimer: Warning, do not attempt to bounce insanely fast on your toes after reading this fan fiction. It could result in sprained ankles, tendonitis, leg fractures, migraines, hearing loss, brain damage, rabies, cowpox, or death. For those of you who are not trained in the art of medicine, these things are bad. You do not want these things to happen to you. That is all.
Legal disclaimer: I own everything in this fic except what it was inspired by.
The Giant, Radioactive Turnabout
(Trial, part 3)
-District courthouse, Defendant's lobby 3. 5/22. 2:34 pm.
"Losing…" Ne' Chrome muttered to himself in a corner, clutching his Tales of the Crypt novel to his chest. "We have a case… we're losing… guilty…guilty…guilty…"
Cassie shook her head in disbelief, and then turned to Chancellor. "I just… sometimes I think I'm the most rational and mature one here, you know?" she asked.
"I'm feeling super, thanks for asking" Chancellor sang, oblivious.
Cassie slumped over. "That just… that just proved my point." She sighed, and straightened up. "So, why do you think Mr. Streng admitted to seeing the body?" she asked curiously. "I mean, he could have easily denied it, and we'd be up a creek! Won't this make him look more suspicious?"
"Actually, it's the opposite" came a voice from the hallway. A Hispanic detective strode in to the room, plopping down on the couch as if everyone had been expecting him. "You see; a killer's first instinct is to distance himself…"
"Or herself" Cassie added.
"Is to distance him or herself from the crime as much as possible" Ricky continued, not showing the least bit of annoyance. "But Streng is smart. He knows that by confessing that he's seen the body, he gives himself an opportunity to remove himself from suspicion by claiming to be a 'shocked witness' or a 'distressed body finder with an ulterior motive.'" He cracked his knuckles, placed his hands behind his head, and waited for applause.
It came. "Dude!" Chancellor congratulated, "that was an awesome explanation!"
"I think you mean…" Ricky said, building tension in his voice.
"EXCELLENT!" (Meedlymeedlymeeeeee!)
Cassie laughed. "Alright, alright, that's enough clowning around!" She held out her hand. "Alright Ricky, where is it?"
"Where's what?" He asked, confused.
"You know... it! That deus ex machina file that will solve the entire case for us!"
"I'm… off work right now, actually" Ricky explained. "I just came down to check things out… yeah."
"So wait… we're supposed to solve the case with the evidence we already have?" Cassie asked, unbelieving.
"Well, you know, that's how it usually works around these parts" Chance explained. "Ricky and I just have a habit of making things Moore interesting around here."
Ricky gave an enthusiastic nod. "Maybe I should show up as you one day," he suggested. "Completely screw with everyone else's minds."
"I'm pretty sure I'd get disbarred for that" Chancellor mused. "Besides, if they figure out who you are, it won't be as cool when you suddenly burst into the courtroom, hand me the decisive evidence I need, and then leave." He laughed. "You have to admit, that makes things interesting."
"Yeah! And that one time I impersonated Scotty?"
"They didn't know until he actually came back into the courtroom!" Chance remembered.
"Um… guys?" Cassie whispered. "Not to break up this friendly chatter but… don't you think we should focus on the case?"
"If you haven't noticed," Chancellor whispered back. "Not focusing on the case has calmed Andy down quite a bit." He pointed to Andre, and sure enough, he was now calmly sitting on the couch, reading from his graphic novel.
Cassie looked at Andy for a minute, and then smiled. "Chancellor, I don't give you enough credit sometimes, you know?"
Chancellor laughed, and ruffled Cassie's hair. "Cassie my dear, I have a feeling you'll be saying that a lot in days to come."
Her face fell slightly, but not enough for Chancellor to notice (seriously). "Yeah… the days to come… of course."
-District Courthouse, Courtroom 5. 5/22. 3:00 pm.
"Ahem" Scotty cleared his throat. "I believe we've settled down sufficiently," he said, referring to both his legs and the courtroom spectators. "We shall continue with the cross-examination of Mr. Abraham Streng!"
"The first thing the defense requests" Chancellor said, cutting right to the chase, "is that Mr. Streng give further testimony on what is, really, the most pressing issue right now." He pointed at Streng accusingly. "And that is! Where did you get that awesome hat?"
Silence.
"Um… Chancellor?" Cassie ventured. "That was the question you were going to ask Mr. Streng when the trial was over, remember?"
"Mixing up facts like a toddler mixes up a 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle…" Krasivaya insulted poetically. "It's amazing you passed the bar, you know that, Moore?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I would have failed if Ricky hadn't made me stay up day after day cramming" Chance laughed. "Anyway, forgive me Mr. Streng, but there is actually a more important issue right now… namely, how did you know Ms. Nook was already dead when Ms. Scrubbs told you about the scythe?"
"I suppose that's obvious," Streng said scornfully. "I walked in on the dead body, didn't I?"
Hustle bustle rustle.
"Mr. Streng!" Scotty reprimanded. "Why didn't you say this earlier?"
"Or say anything on the day of the crime?" Tanya added.
"I think we'd all like an explanation of that," Chancellor said. "Testify. Now."
"You could at least say please," murmured Streng. "I have a strict policy against…" Chancellor glared at him with a look of feigned hatred. "Fine, fine, I'll testify" he conceded, bouncing.
"When I first walked into Ms. Nook's office, I was shocked. The sight of her body just lying there…" He cleared his throat. "Although I have a strict personal policy against overreacting… I lost it. I ran out of the room and into my office, shutting the door firmly behind me. I stayed in there I don't know how long, until I heard Ms. Scrubbs screaming about the scythe."
"And about what time was that?" asked Tanya.
"That was around…" Streng thought for a minute. "5:00 sticks in my mind for some reason." He bounced up and down for a minute, and then shook his head. "That's right. It was 5:00 when the hammer fell… so to speak."
"Thank you" Scotty nodded. "Well Chance? What are we asking him this time?"
"Oh, a little bit of this, and a little bit of that" Chance replied.
Clap clap clap clap! Clapped Cassie.
Chancellor chuckled to himself, and then turned to face Streng. "Mr. Streng… you're absolutely certain about the time, right? I mean you seem pretty confident."
"Yes" Streng nodded. "It was 5:00. I'd stake my life on it."
"Why so certain?" Chancellor asked. "Did you see or hear anything that branded that time into your mind?"
"Well... yes, actually" Abraham nodded. "There's this enormous clock in Mr. Simpson's office. I distinctly remember thinking 'my life is falling apart' at every chime, then scolding myself for violating my strict personal policy against overreacting."
"That's nearly poetic enough to have been said by Tanya…" Cassie commented.
"Except it's been quite some time since I've scolded myself" Tanya added on.
"Probably because you've got nothing to be angry at yourself about" Chance flirted.
"Ooh! Mr. Moore!" Tanya said seductively, one of her dresses straps accidentally slipping off her shoulder. "Don't even think of playing my game" she gave a long stretch, and then snapped up looking serious. "Those soldiers who have tried to reverse-engineer my own weapons of mass seduction back at me have found themselves discharged from duty within a month."
"Ahem?" Scotty cleared his throat tentatively. "I know I said we shouldn't be formal in here, but… can we save the shameless flirting for after the trial? Remember, it is Lia's birthday."
"Fine by me" Chancellor complied. "Now let's see… what was I going to do…" He paused for a minute. He looked down into his chain, grinned to himself, and said "oh yeah!"
OBJECTION!
"Mr. Streng!" he shouted in newfound accusation. "I'm not sure your aware of this, but your testimony has created a…"
"A major contradiction that will no doubt lead to some shocking and unsuspected truth being revealed, yes, I know." Streng lashed out, bouncing faster than Tigger on steroids. "Honestly, don't you have any better lines? I, personally, have a strict policy against using the same tired lines over and over again, I'll have you know." He fixed his stovetop on top of his head. "Very well then. Tell me what trivial thing in my testimony is different from reality that can most likely be attributed to human error and nothing Moore."
"An insult that could have been given by Tanya" Cassie commented again. "I think they might be related!"
"The contradiction lies here" Chance said, referring to the court records of Ms. Scrubbs' testimony. "Ms. Scrubbs clearly testified…"
"The incident I'm here to testify about occurred at around 5:00 or so…
The arguing just… stopped." She paused for a moment, wiping away a tear from her eye. "That was around… 5:10 or so, and Mr. Ne' Chrome left the building at 5:30."
"You see? Ms. Scrubbs heard Ms. Nook, very much alive, as late as 5:10!" Chancellor slammed his desk. "You couldn't possibly have seen Ms. Nook's dead body then!"
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"As Mr. Streng as said himself" Tanya challenged, "such a contradiction is easily explainable as human error!" She flicked her hair back dismissively. "Mr. Streng simply forgot or misread the time, or perhaps the clock in Mr. Simpson's office gave the wrong time!"
OBJECTION!
"For starters" Chance answered. "Whether Mr. Simpson's clock is wrong or not is inconsequential! Ms. Scrubbs was using that clock to tell the time by as well!"
Tanya flinched slightly. "Yes, I suppose that's true, but…"
"I'm not finished!" Chance interrupted. "There isn't any room to chalk this up to human error, either! If you hadn't noticed, I asked Mr. Streng repeatedly if he was certain about the time, and he replied with absolute certainty every time!"
"So what are you saying?" Tanya asked. "That Ms. Nook was dead by 5:00, and that Ms. Scrubbs was lying?" She slammed her hand onto the desk. "Are you seriously accusing that nice old lady of murder?"
"Of course not!" Chancellor shot back. "If the body was dead by 5:00, that would contradict the autopsy report! In order for a body to be found dead at 5:00, the time of death would have to be before then, otherwise Mr. Streng would have seen the killer!"
"Then… then what are you saying, Chance?" Cassie asked. "I think the audience deserves to know that much."
"Um…" Chance stopped for a minute. Don't look down, don't look down… ah, screw it. He looked into his chain. "I'm saying…" he remembered. "That when Mr. Streng testified about 'his life falling apart with every chime'… he was telling the truth." He pointed dramatically for emphasis. "But the thing that caused him to think that… wasn't finding the body!"
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"Mr. Moore, while that may be true…" she stretched and gave a soft yawn. "Do you really think that kind of explanation will hold up in a court of law? You can't honestly expect to build a case off of 'something different happened'." At the defense's bench, Andre gave a relieved sigh.
"Don't relax yet, Andre" Cassie warned. "I have a feeling that Chance is actually going somewhere this time."
"Thanks for your support, Cassie." Chance gave a slight bow. "And yes, I do have an idea as to what caused Mr. Streng to feel that way… and evidence, of course."
"Really?" Tanya asked in a tone that was both mocking and flirtatious. "Then enlighten the court, Mr. Moore. What on earth caused Mr. Streng to feel like his life was falling apart?"
"That which vexes all men" Chancellor quoted, giving a quick wink across the room.
"Tetris?" asked Scotty, confused.
"Boredom?" asked Cassie, equally confused.
"Global warming?" asked an environmental activist from the audience.
Andre sighed. "A woman" he warbled in a brief moment of wisdom. Streng began to bounce more rapidly than he had all day.
"Thank you, Mr. Ne Chrome" Chancellor nodded. "Mr. Streng? Care to come out with it now?"
"I'm not saying anything," he said tersely, bouncing rapidly. "You know I have a strict policy against self-incrimination…"
"Then I'll just have to explain my logic" Chance said. "First, notice in Ms. Scrubbs' testimony the time that the argument started."
"It's 5:00!" Scotty exclaimed after he surveyed the record.
Chancellor nodded. "The exact same time that Mr. Streng has had branded into his memory. Since Mr. Streng is so certain he saw Ashley Nook at that time, that can only lead me to believe that it was him in that room arguing, not my client."
"It certainly… wasn't me" Andre added. "Ms. Nook and I have a…" he chuckled slightly "had a… 'strict policy' if you will, only to argue between 10:00 and 4:00."
"So what?" Tanya barked out quickly. "Even if we accept as truth that Mr. Streng was the one arguing with Ms. Nook, that doesn't give him any reason to commit murder! Considering his position in the plant, he would be the one yelling at her, putting Ms. Nook, if anyone, in a position to lash out violently!"
"You're not paying attention, are you, dear?" Chancellor asked. "Mr. Streng wasn't there for a work-related purpose!"
"Then what…" Tanya got out, beginning to understand but doing her best to deny it.
"I believe these will answer everything for us" Chancellor said, putting on a rubber glove and pulling out the withered flowers with a flourish. "The reason I'm wearing gloves, by the way, is because these flowers ate through the vase I put them in last night... You see; they fell into a toxic waste pit. Sound familiar?"
Tanya cringed. "If you're trying to stay that…"
"But I am" Chance stated. "And I even have a witness who can testify to the same effect, namely that Mr. Streng was carrying these flowers when he fell into the pit!"
"That's nice, Chance" Scotty said. "But how does this… matter… exactly?"
"Ooh! Ooh! I got it!" Cassie yelled excitedly. "You said that Mr. Streng and Ms. Nook were arguing, and that Mr. Streng was approaching Ms. Nook's office with flowers when he fell in, right?"
"Go on" Chance encouraged.
"Could it be… the reason they were arguing… was because Mr. Streng was in love with Ms. Nook, and she didn't like him back?"
Streng said nothing, but slumped over as he had been hit in the stomach by a cannon shell.
"Could be" Chance nodded. "Mr. Streng?"
"You… don't … have… proof…" Streng muttered.
"Fair enough" Chance admitted. "But it's easy enough to imagine, isn't it? You finally muster up enough courage to break your own rule and ask out an employee. She turns you down, and for some reason or another, the two of you begin to argue. The clock begins to chime, and you can't help but think 'she hates me, I'm going to lose my job, my life is falling apart'. Then, in the heat of the argument…" Chancellor brought down one fist into an open hand. "Well, it's quite a convincing case, wouldn't you agree?"
"I have a strict policy against self-incrimination," he mumbled under his breath. "But yes… I would have to agree it is… quite convincing." He stared at the witness stand, as if trying to catch his breath.
"Mr. Streng?" Chance questioned.
"NO!" he yelled, eyes wild with fury. "I WILL NOT SPEAK! You can't… I have strict policy against…" he began to shake, his arms and neck vibrating at the same speed as his toes.
"The witness… can refuse to testify, if he believes that it will incriminate him of a crime," Tanya said, trying to keep the regret out of her voice. "I'm sorry, Mr. Moore, but that is the law. If the witness refuses to make any more statements, then this cross-examination is over." She averted her eyes, not wanting to see the disappointment in Chancellor's face.
Damn it! Good gravy, damn it! I was so… damn it! Chancellor gave a curt nod. "I understand… Mr. Streng… you may go."
"It's about time!" Streng yelled angrily. "Honestly, drag me in here, accuse me of murdering an employee, I'll have none of it, understand? I'll be writing a strictly formal complaint when I get back to the office, mark my words Moore!" He swept his hat off his head, and walked out the doors of the courtroom.
Scotty cleared his throat. "Well, then, if there are no more witnesses, I suppose…"
HOLD IT!
"Cassie?" Chancellor whispered harshly. "Cassie, what are you…"
"Mr. Streng!" she yelled, stopping the man in the doorway. "I'm ashamed of you!"
Scotty banged his gavel. "ORDEEER UUUUUP!! Young lady, pipe down!"
"You loved her!" Cassie yelled, ignoring Scotty. "You loved her, and yet you won't admit it! You loved her, yet you refuse to honor her memory by letting justice be done! Of all the selfish, self-centered things you can do in this world…" she pointed at Streng accusingly. "Betraying the one you love is the most heinous of all! It's even worse than killing her!"
"Bailiff!" yelled Scotty. "Bailiff! Detain her!"
"The inner circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers!" Cassie quoted angrily. "I hope you're happy with what you've chosen, Abraham Streng!"
"Cassie, calm down!" Chance warned before he was pushed aside by the bailiff.
"Hey! Wait a minute!" Cassie yelled as the bailiff began to 'escort' her out. "I'm done, honest, get off of me!"
"Stop."
At the sound of the word, everyone ceased what they were doing. Chancellor stopped mid-stand, Scotty's gavel hung in mid air, Tanya's hand remained clenching her hair, the bailiff stopped dragging Cassie out, and the environmental activist stopped raising awareness about the rainforest.
Streng slowly turned around, tears welling up in his eyes. "She… she's right" he sobbed, slowly returning to the witness stand. "If I betray her now… even after all I've done to her before…" he sniffed. "I'll never be able to look in a mirror again!"
"I know the feeling… really, I do" Chance sympathized.
"What I should do with girl?" asked the bailiff.
Scotty thought for a moment, and then gave a small nod. "Let her go." The bailiff obeyed, and Cassie scurried back to Chancellor's side. "Have a nice trip?" he whispered to her.
"Your welcome, it was my pleasure" Cassie said caustically.
"Mr. Streng?" asked Tanya, trying to hide the relief in her voice. "You're willing to testify now?"
"Not testify…" Streng said wearily. "Confess." He looked at Scotty. "It was I that was arguing with Ms. Ashley Nook at 5:00 on the 20th of May. I was arguing with her because I had finally built up the courage to break my own rule and tell her… how I felt. She… rejected me. She told me that she was already dating… that she was already seeing someone. I… I lost it. I threatened to turn him in, to have him fired… I was angry, angrier than I'd been in my life, and then…" he stopped, and shook his head furiously.
"We understand" Chance comforted. "Everybody has moments where they just lose control… the best thing we can do is embrace those moments… and not trying to hide them, learn how to better ourselves." He smiled. That was pretty deep he thought.
Scotty nodded. "Well put, Chance. I suppose there's no point in prolonging this trial." He raised his gavel. "I find the defendant…"
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"Your honor!" Tanya annunciated. "I'm surprised at you! Ending a trial with so many unanswered questions?"
"Hm?" Scotty grunted in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"How did Mr. Streng move the scythe without being seen? When did he put the body into Mr. Ne' Chrome's trunk? How did he get into Mr. Ne' Chrome's house, move the body up into his bedroom, and then evade police capture when they entered the house?" She flicked her hair back, looking at Chancellor harshly. "I'm surprised, Mr. Moore, that you would be willing to leave so many questions unanswered." Her voice faltered. "I… I thought better of you."
"Um? Uh…" Chance tensed up. Damn! Losing her! Losing her! "Wait… wait, of course I know the answers to those questions!" He relaxed. "I remember, I even have evidence to back up my claims!"
"Then let's see it, Moore" Tanya demanded. "The evidence that closes up the loose ends of this case!" Because if you don't have any… I'll never respect you again.
Chancellor racked his brain for the answer, but it wouldn't come. He sighed, took a deep breath, and looked down at his chain.
-
Author's Note Corner (if you're only here for the story, you can top reading now)
For those of you who are wondering; yes, I did end it there just to build tension. It's Moore fun that way.
And for those of you wondering why it's been so long… my computer blew up! BOOOM! Luckily, we were able to save the hard drive, but getting the new computer, getting a box for the hard drive, vacationing for a week in Vermont… well, the first time I'm seeing this chapter again is August 22.
Oops! We goofed! : There was no 'Learn Russian' section last time, huh? Never fear, this installment will be extra extra long!
Character In-depth: Tanya Krasivaya:
An in-depth that is probably well overdue. All the juicy things you want to know about her will finally be disclosed! (Wow… you just can't talk about Tanya without sounding suggestive, can you?)
In the beginning, when I was thinking up original characters late one night trying to lull myself to sleep, Tanya was going to be a Von Karma rip-off. A pretty young prosecutor obsessed with perfection… but from Russia. The Moore I thought about it though, the Moore I realized that kind of prosecutor would just be too… easy for Chancellor.
Therefore, Tanya is not obsessed with perfection. It just kind of comes naturally. She's not ruthless or maniacal or anything like that, she just wants to do her job well. The evil prosecutors are coming though, don't you worry about that.
Questions never asked… answered anyway:
Um… I have a question… it's kind of embarrassing, but… : 48-24-36. Yeah. Be amazed.
Favorite Song! You know you love it! ? : Tanya listens to mostly classical things, like Mozart or Tchaikovsky. Her favorite is 'The Four Seasons' by Vivaldi; in particular 'Summer' because it "paints a picture of a time that I was mostly unaware of in my native land." Yeah. Her words, not mine.
Name Middle? : It's 'ochen' spelled ОЧЕНЬ in Russian. It means 'very', making her name "Tanya very beautiful'.
Does she have any relatives? : No. Tanya Krasivaya was plucked from heaven itself and placed down on earth. Of course she has relatives! A father, a mother, and an older sister, plus that wild storyteller 'Uncle Dostoyevski'. You don't have to worry about them though, they won't be in the story anytime soon. (Maybe not until the sequel… if there is a sequel… if I ever finish the first one… if I'm not 20 by the time I finish the first one…)
Learn Russian! :
ОЧЕНЬ (pronounced 'ochen'): 'very'.
ЦЕПЬ (pronounced 'tsep): 'chain'.
Без перевода (pronounced 'bez per-ee-vo-da'): 'courtroom'.
УГОЛОВНИК (prounounced 'ug-ol-ov-neek'): 'criminal'.
ОБВИНИТЕЛЬ (prounounced 'ob-veen-eet-yell'): 'prosecutor'.
General Pronunciation: Ь. This is called a 'soft sign'. The general idea behind it is that it softens the pronunciations of some letters. Kind of hard to explain using the written word, but, I suppose it's the difference between saying 'yell' quickly and harshly versus saying it quieter and more fluidly.
У. This is a Russian 'u'. More specifically, it's the 'oo' sound that 'u' makes. This symbol: Ю, makes the sound 'you'.