A/N: I apologize that this chapter has taken me so long. As I said in my last chapter, I just started working on my Masters and it's taking up a lot of my time. After next week, I have a week off, so I'll be looking to update at least twice that week, so please bear with me! I'm also working on a chapter for my other story, "WMO: To Iraq, With Love" so check that out too, if you want. It's a total lemon, if you appreciate that kind of thing.

Also, I have what seems like a BAJILLION people recieving alerts - SO I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE REVIEWS THAT ARE MORE THAT 3 WORDS.

Thanks for your cooperation.

*hugs*

"Helpless, helpless
What makes my wounded heart feel like this?
Helpless, I'm helpless when it comes to you…"

"Helpless" – Neon Trees

Jacob stared at the floor, his head in hands, as he contemplated the feeling of déjà vu that swept through him. It felt like a vicious never-ending cycle, this pain of his. He loved her, God, he loved her, and the sound of her slowly fading heart had burned an agony in his soul so deep, he doubted it would ever heal.

He wanted to be angry – he really did. It would be easier to embrace the rage, to let the deafening fury of his wolf drown him, but he was surprised how quiet his beast was tonight. He felt it, pacing softly inside him, as if it was as attune to the fear as he was. Jacob never really considered the wolf a separate part of him, but as he watched it stalk around in his subconscious, he wondered where he ended and his wolf began.

He sighed and adjusted the uncomfortable scrub top that the nurses had firmly requested that he put on. He would have normally been grateful for the offer, but apparently the hospital wasn't used to clothing werewolves over 6 feet tall, and the seams around his shoulders and upper chest were stretched to the limit, adding to the already enormous amount of discomfort he was already in.

His gaze turned to the clock on the wall and he barely squashed the urge to punch something when he noticed it had only been 4 minutes since the last time he had checked it. He assumed that Charlie had been called – somewhere amidst all the confusion, he had managed to tell the doctors who Bella was and how to contact her family. They had refused to tell him anything about her, and he'd even been questioned by the police for 45 minutes before he convinced them that if they'd only talk to Charlie, they would understand. However, it was only after they had finally ran her name through missing persons like he had suggested that they left him alone, but not with a warning to him that he was not to leave the hospital until they had finished conducting interviews.

Jacob wanted to laugh at them, because only God knew when Bella would be well enough to talk again. He felt like telling them that they didn't have anything to worry about – that there was no way in HELL that he was leaving without her. The last time he'd let her out of his sights she'd gone and gotten herself kidnapped by some insane vampire who had nearly killed her. Nope, no fucking way was she walking out of here without him glued to her side. He wasn't sure how pleased Charlie would be about it, but after everything that had happened, he really didn't care.

As he thought of Charlie, it occurred to Jacob that he hadn't yet called his dad.

"Shit!" He exclaimed, jumping out of the tiny chair where he had spent the last 3 hours. Every nurse behind the ER desk turned to stare at him. It only irritated him more when he felt himself starting to blush. "Sorry," he mumbled. He patted his pockets desperately, only to realize they were completely empty except for the car keys. "Shit!" he shouted again.

"Um, sir?" came the gruff voice of the security officer. The overweight man struggled to fold his arms over his bulging stomach in his pathetic attempt to intimidate Jake, despite the fact that he was easily 8 inches shorter.

Jake held up both hands in the air, as if to apologize for his behavior. "Sorry, officer," he said quietly, forcing his eyes to the floor. The last thing he wanted to do was act submissive for this joke of a cop, but he also knew that this man had the power to throw him out and keep him from being here when Bella woke up, so he struggled to keep his cool. "I'm just stressed out. My friend is in there, and no one will tell me anything… I'm just…" he blew out a breath and stopped talking, shifting back and forth on the balls of his feet uncomfortably.

He felt the officer relax, and in turn it relaxed him. Jacob rolled his shoulders in an effort to relieve some of the tension built up there, but it really didn't help. He felt the cop's meaty hand on his arm and he looked up in surprise. "I understand, son," the officer said, and Jacob squinted, reading the name on his badge.

Kolchote.

Jacob raised one eyebrow and looked up to meet the officer's gaze. "Kolchote? Are you Makah?"

The guard's chest puffed out proudly. "On my father's side."

He really doubted the legitimacy of that claim – the guard was whiter than a ghost, but Jacob wasn't going to argue with him. Instead, he plastered a fake smile on his face and decided to push his luck. "Oh, yeah? Our families are like neighbors, then! I'm from La Push!"

The guard's eyes narrowed slightly, and Jacob noticed a light sheen of sweat appear above his upper lip. "Oh… yeah? That's, uh, pretty coincidental. But, well, I don't live on the reservation."

Jacob forced back the urge to roll his eyes – he could have guessed that. He crossed his arms and managed to keep a pleasant look on his face. "Oh? How come?"

"Um, well, you know, the unemployment rate is so high there, and I wanted to put my kids in private school and transporting them would have been a mess-"

He stumbled over his words, and Jacob took the opportunity to interrupt. "Private schools? What's wrong with the Nea Bay schools?"

He fought not to smile when he saw the officer gulp hard and his eye began to twitch in nervousness, but then he coughed and gave Jacob an awkward smile. "Hey, why don't I go find out about your friend?" He offered Jacob a strange wink. "Maybe I can help you out."

Jacob slapped on another big fake smile and barely managed to keep from patting himself on the back in the process. "That would be really great, Officer Kolchote. Really, I would appreciate it."

As the officer waddled over to the main desk, Jacob suppressed a smirk. Either Kolchote lied about his heritage to ride the coattails of equal opportunity from his employer, or he was a closet racist and didn't want someone bigger than him finding out. Either way, Jacob didn't care, as long as it got him in to see Bella.

Jacob watched the officer point animatedly in his direction as he obviously worked to convince the nurse to break the rules and allow Jacob behind the "Authorized Only" door. Her expression changed from irritated to shocked and finally to sympathetic. Her bright green eyes moved to meet his dark brown ones and he fought back the burn under his eyelids as he saw her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

The unadulterated empathy on her face created a baseball-sized lump in his throat, and it made him want to gag. He clenched his hands into tight fists and fought against the slow, trembling fury. He didn't want her pity. It made him angry, made him want to tell the stupid cop to forget all about it. He would rather be ignored than treated like anyone's charity case. God hadn't bothered asking his opinion before sticking him with this shitty wolf gene. The leeches hadn't stopped to ask if they could live so close to his territory that they might as well have been living on it. Bella hadn't asked him for his feelings before ripping out his heart and stomping on it. No one had given a shit before – who did this nurse think she was?

A gentle voice broke into his thoughts, dispelling his quickly escalating rage. He blinked, and found that the green eyes were now only inches below his own. He swallowed thickly and choked out, "I'm sorry… what?"

She gave him a small pat on the arm, and he stared at her pale skin against his dark. She noticed his gaze and quickly removed her hand, as if startled by his reaction. "I'm sorry, sir," she mumbled quickly, and Jacob watched as a blush tinted her cheeks. "I was simply telling you that she's in room 147." She turned around and pointed at the entrance door that only moments before had been inaccessible to him. "If you wait just a second, I can go back behind the counter and hit the unlock button for you."

He could only nod, unable to speak. Jacob wanted to thank her, but he knew if he did, nothing would come out. But before he could stop himself, he reached out and grabbed her hand. She stopped suddenly, turning around to look at him; she looked uneasy. Her eyes shot back up to his face, her mouth opening to tell him something, but as their eyes met, her fearful expression melted away. She gave him a small smile and whispered softly, "You're welcome."

Jacob moved quickly across the room, and waited anxiously next to the locked doors that were between himself and Bella. His thumb nail managed to find its way into his mouth, and he gnawed on it nervously, ignoring the sting of pain when he ripped off a piece of cuticle. His feet began to roll unconsciously back and forth, from heel to toe, toe to heel, over and over. His eyes flitted from the door to the nurse and he started to feel like she was moving that slow on purpose.

Jacob fought back the growl that rolled around his chest. His anxieties were attempting to get the better of him, but he knew he had to have better control. His eyes drifted closed and he took a slow breath. Bella… Bella… Bella…

His eyes snapped open when he heard a click and a whoosh, signaling that the doors in front of him were beginning to open. He didn't bother waiting until the mechanical doors had drifted apart far enough for him to walk through – instead, he turned sideways just before stuffing his large body into the crack. He heard the doors groan in the process, but he ignored them, his mind consumed with finding her room.

All the hallways looked the same – white, empty, nondescript, and he found himself moving quickly, not knowing where he was going, while memories of Bella filled his head:

Bella, making sand pies for me on First Beach, crying when I stomped on them…

Sneaking kisses in the backyard when we were 7, playing "doctor" when we were 10 and getting in trouble by Charlie for convincing Bella to lift her skirt…

Moping for days when Renee took Bella to Phoenix, knowing that our friendship would never be the same, despite our desperate plans to write letters every week…

How beautiful she looked her first day back, the look in her eyes when she saw that stupid red truck…

Bella in that blue dress at prom, her leg in a cast, the look in Cullen's eye when he saw me…

That night at the movies, when I knew that I could get her to love me….

Jacob blinked, fighting back the heavy pain of his memories, and realized his cheeks were hot with tears. He stopped, turned, and slumped against the hard white wall, not stopping until he was flush with the ground, his aching head in his hands. Who are you kidding, anyway, Black? He growled to himself. It's always been this way, you chasing her, you wanting her, you loving her. It's always been someone else, something else, somewhere else – why would this time be any different? Why are you setting yourself up for this kind of pain, over and over and over again? He felt his fist pounding the floor, and he welcomed the gentle sting of the tile against his skin as they cracked from his ministrations. It only fueled the anger. She won't pick you. She won't. So why torture yourself? Those memories will come back soon enough and you'll have to face losing her all over again. Why are you so fucking stupid, huh? Glutton for punishment?

A familiar sickly sweet scent filled his nostrils, shocking him out of his pity-induced haze and Jacob jerked his head up to find himself face to face with Edward. His jaw dropped open, he wasn't sure if he was surprised or relieved to see the leech.

The surprised expression of his former enemy brought a smile to the vampire's face. They just stared for a moment, golden eyes boring into chocolate ones, and both of them felt the juvenile need to not be the first to look away.

But Jacob was the one to speak first. "So, you're not dead… well… you're not- you know."

Edward laughed. "No. I suppose I'm not dismembered, if that's what you mean."

"Yeah, whatever," Jacob shrugged. "What happened, anyway?"

Edward's eyes narrowed momentarily, but then he smoothed away the expression, leaving his face as blank and unreadable as ever. "The whole building went up. He practically stopped resisting once he realized Victoria was dead. If I hadn't wanted to destroy him so much for what he did to Bella, I might have been sympathetic."

Jacob nodded slowly. "They just let me in, so I'm trying to find her room." Then his eyes widened. "How the fuck did you get in here so easily?"

"I told them I was Carlisle's son." Edward said softly. "I am sorry that you did not know he was here already. He arrived not long after you and Bella. He knew that we would come here if we found her – Alice had a vision of the battle between myself and the other vampire and knew that I had won, meaning that we had rescued Bella…" his voice trailed off. "Carlisle knew it meant she would need medical attention, and being that he took care of her after the accident, he felt it best that he was here to monitor her care."

Jacob nodded slowly, not completely understanding but not really caring either. He took a deep, shaky breath and exhaled. It shouldn't matter to him why or how Edward was here, but he found himself caring anyway. When he looked up again, he saw Edward studying what remained of the tile floor next to him. He laughed, but he knew it sounded bitter and acidic. "Yeah, got a little pissed off."

Edward raised an eyebrow, but didn't press the issue. "Would you like to go to her room?"

Jacob nodded, not really caring that he seemed much too eager. Now that Bella was safe, he didn't give a flying fuck what the leech thought of him. He stood and almost stumbled, cursing himself for being as awkward as a baby calf. "I guess I need to eat," he mumbled, chewing his lip to stop the angry string of obscenities thatthreatened to spill out.

"Let's check in on Bella, and then we can find you something to eat, if you'd like," Edward replied courteously, and Jacob practically snapped his neck trying to spin around to look at him.

"Why are you being so fucking nice to me?" He snapped out, folding his thick arms across his chest. "What the fuck is in it for you?"

Edward rolled his eyes and Jacob gritted his teeth, finding himself irritated all over again about the leech's asinine human fidgets. "Jacob, listen, I'm attempting to find some common ground with you, and you are making it rather difficult. I do not want to be friends with you, let me make that clear." Jacob snorted and frowned harder. Edward ignored him. "We are in a public place that is not our home, and Bella is in the ICU. I simply thought it best that we play nice for just a bit longer."

Jacob huffed and rolled his eyes, annoyed with his childish behavior and the fact that Edward was actually right. "Yeah, sure, I get it," He mumbled, uncrossing his arms. He flexed his hands awkwardly, desperate to dispel the pent up aggression inside him. "So…. Where's Bella's room?"

Edward nodded. "Alright then. It's down the hall, up the stairs and to the left." Jacob turned to head in the direction Edward had indicated, but halted when the vampire grabbed his arm. He couldn't stop the growl that leaked from his chest, but Edward ignored the instinctual behavior. "Jacob…wait."

The dejected tone of his voice caught Jacob off guard, it scared him, and the air caught in his lungs. "What?" he whispered, and the sound was strangled to his ears. "What's wrong?"

Edward sighed. "She's in the ICU."

Jacob nodded once, still not understanding. "And…?" He wasn't stupid, but he hadn't been a doctor for a century either.

"She's…very sick, Jacob." Edward's eyes clouded with grief, and Jacob felt his heart constrict in his chest. "They don't know…if…"

She might not live.

The words slammed around Jacob's brain, sending burning echoes straight to his heart. He fought to remain upright, but he felt himself sway. He reached out, finding the wall again, and he leaned against it for support. They hadn't been quick enough. They had been so busy fighting that… it was too late.

"What's wrong?" He finally choked out, his vision blurred and his heart pounded so quickly that he was afraid it would explode inside his chest.

"She has a very severe infection from the cuts Victoria inflicted. They've been pumping her with antibiotics, but she is dehydrated and she was deprived of food and kept in very unsanitary conditions. She has a high fever and it hasn't responded to medication. They are giving her chilled liquids and are using a cooling blanket but…" His voice trailed off again.

Jacob was silent for a moment, and his exhausted brain struggled to process the information. He wouldn't survive if Bella died, he knew that. His heart may continue to beat, but he wasn't sure if a heart once shattered into a million pieces could still function. She was like air, like sunlight, and he needed her. "So what now?" he finally asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"There's…more," Edward replied, and his tone was heavy with sadness. "They've found…a blood clot."

Jacob's eyes snapped open in disbelief. "A blood clot?" he ground out through gritted teeth. He shook his head, hard, fiercely hoping that it was all a dream. "How did they find that?"

"Carlisle insisted on a brain scan. She was non-responsive in the ER and he was concerned." Edward sighed again, dragging one hand through his tangled bronze hair. "Turns out there has been a slow bleed since… the accident. He believes that's why she's been having so much trouble recovering her memories."

Jacob gaped at him, unable to comprehend what he had just said. It seemed impossible – how had the doctors missed that? How had she gone to her follow-up appointments and functioned normally while her brain was bleeding? It didn't make any sense to him and it only fueled his fury. "What the fuck, Cullen?" he growled. "How the hell did Dr. Vamp miss that? Hasn't he had, like, a fucking century of practicing medicine and he misses a damn brain bleed?" He raked one hand through his hair, and gripped it tightly, as if to keep himself from physically lashing out. "Are you fucking kidding me with this shit, Cullen?" He finally spat out, his face now mottled with rage.

Edward focused his gaze down the hall and away from the shaking werewolf next to him. He knew that Jacob had the control to keep from phasing in the middle of a very public place, so instead he continued the conversation. "Jacob, I can understand your anger – I hope you believe that I share it with you – but Carlisle was not the only doctor that worked with Bella after her accident. In fact, another neurologist, one from this hospital, consulted on the case and stated to Carlisle that he saw no disruption in her brain function."

Jacob groaned in frustration. "So, then, what the fuck? How is this conversation helpful?"

"I'm just trying to inform you of the situation," Edward's tone was clipped and full of irritation, sadness and defeat. "Would you have rather I did not tell you?"

Jacob sucked in a deep breath at the implication. Did it feel better, knowing? Of course not, but how could he have dealt, not knowing? He shook his head, and another low growl slipped out in frustration. "Fine." he grumbled, finally releasing his hair from the death grip he had had on it. "What now?"

Edward shrugged, and it came across as a helpless gesture. "I do not know. I wish had that answer for you, but I do not."

And just as suddenly, the fury drained away and Jacob sagged harder against the wall. He felt empty, broken, damaged. He wanted to be angry with Bella for not choosing him, but in the end, it almost didn't matter. He loved her with every cell, every pore, every fiber of his being, and he couldn't simply turn off the feelings because they were not returned. He knew that his return to the friendship category was inevitable, but he didn't have the fight left in him to care. It was pointless to pretend that his heart didn't ache every time she spoke of Cullen, that he didn't feel like crying each time she left his house to go to Edward. He couldn't be without her – the last few days had proved that much to him.

And the frustration just compounded it all. He hated the life that genetics had condemned him to – he knew the natural path his life would have taken without all the supernatural bullshit. He remembered how easy his life used to be, and he would have dropped everything to go back to it – even for just one day. But he couldn't and he had to make peace with it. He was Alpha now, and he had to care for more than just himself. He couldn't make himself stop loving Bella – but he could let go of the anger and resentment he felt over the unrequited feelings.

He knew that it might condemn him to a life of loneliness, anger and regret, but it wasn't worth fighting anymore. With all the lies he already he had to tell to the ones he loved, he didn't feel like adding himself to the list. He couldn't ignore his own heart anymore – at some point he was going to have to deal with it, and he might as well start now. Jacob knew that Bella was going to need as much help as she could get, and he might as well continue to hide the pain, just as he always had.

So instead of throwing a punch at the leech in front of him like he had so desperately wanted to only moments before, he closed his eyes and took another deep breath. He held it, waiting, calming, meditating, before releasing it and returning his gaze to Edward's. "I'd like to see her now," he said simply.

Edward nodded, understanding, but said, "She's not awake yet, Jacob."

"I don't care," Jacob whispered, finally able to pull himself away from the wall. "I need to see her." Their eyes met again, and Jacob watched the flicker of jealously and uncertainty flare in the vampire's eyes, but he did not acknowledge it.

Edward flinched as recognition flitted through Jacob's eyes, and he was irritated at his inability to hide his expression, but he, too, chose to ignore it. He silently cursed himself for being so open with his feelings with the wolf, but he chalked it up to his emotional exhaustion. With a flick of his wrist, he motioned for Jacob to follow him down the hall.

They moved silently, the two predators, but their thoughts were focused only on the girl in room 147. Both terrified, both quiet, both stricken with grief. It was not enough to know that she was alive – it would only be enough when they could hold her once again. But the fear remained, because both understood the distinct possibility that she might never wake up.

And that…was an outcome that not even the supernatural could comprehend.