Disclaimer: All your Ace aren't belong to us.
Progress Update: Whether I like it or not, THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER!!
And for those of you playing along at home, if you racked your brain for the evidence, scratched your head and said… 'Wait a minute! Mr. Streng isn't the murderer!' You're 100 correct!!
Unfair? Maybe. But it's a story, not a game, and it's Moore dramatic this way (particularly the end). And I've got the sneaking suspicion a lot of you will be kicking yourselves when you see the answer.
But I digress. Now for the 6th and final chapter of…
The Giant, Radioactive Turnabout
(Trial, part 4)
-District Courthouse, Courtroom 5. 5/22. 3:45 pm.
The courtroom held its breath, waiting for Chancellor to pull out a piece of evidence, interpret it's true meaning, and amaze them with his stunning intellect.
"The evidence that proves Mr. Streng's guilt?" Chancellor laughed loudly. "Of course I don't have any!!"
Silence. Cassie banged her head against the desk, gradually getting faster as her frustration grew. Andre' breathed a sigh of relief and slumped easily in his chair. Tanya quivered slightly. "Chancellor?" she asked, gripping her shoulder tightly.
Why am I afraid all of a sudden?
"Chancellor, you don't mean to say that this entire thing was an attempt to put a person you knew was innocent behind bars in place of your client?" She squinted at him harshly. "Because let me tell you Chancellor, if there's one thing I hate more than anything in this world, it's attorneys who are willing to trade an innocent life for a guilty one." She looked away. "I… expected Moore of you, Chancellor."
"Eh? No! It's nothing like that!" Chancellor assured quickly. Why does she sound a million times more menacing when she uses me first name? "You'll have to forgive me, but… I… sort of… you know…" He smiled a wide, 'please forgive me' smile, and suddenly, everybody realized what had happened.
"You're not seriously…." Scotty trembled
"You didn't just…" Cassie blanched
"You're not actually saying…" Tanya mumbled.
"Yeah, I am…" Chance nodded shamefully. "I mixed up who I was accusing for the crime."
Silence.
More silence.
Even more silence.
Still more silence, as the entire courtroom thought one thing. ……why?
"Yeah… sorry" Chance apologized. "What I meant to do was…"
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"Mr. Moore!" screamed Tanya. "This court will not tolerate you shenanigans any longer! Your honor, I insist that you end this madness once and for all!"
Scotty nodded. "Yes, I believe this time you've messed up a little too grandly, Chance" he bellowed. "I declare this trial to be…"
OBJECTION!
"Hold on a minute, hold on a minute!" Chance declared. At least she's calling me 'Mr. Moore' again… "I said that I accused the wrong person, I didn't say I'd wasted the court's time!" He ran a hand through his hair. "The questions I've asked up until now have all been very vital to this case!"
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"I'm sorry, Mr. Moore" Tanya shot back. "But your credibility right now is collapsing faster than a house of cards next to a railway station." She flicked her hair back. "If want us to believe that your testimony is as 'vital' as you say, you'd better back it up with some evidence! Now!"
"Gladly!" Chance answered, slamming down Streng's psychiatry report. "Have a look at this!"
"A psychiatric report…" Tanya mumbled, as she looked it over. "Patient is obsessed with rules and becomes violent when rules are usurped… yes, we know that, Mr. Moore, what's your point?"
"Perhaps you don't know this, gorgeous…" Chancellor teased, "but there's a 'strict' policy at Safeguard against employee-manager relationships."
"Again, Mr. Moore, what's your…" she gasped. "Oh!"
"Exactly" Chance nodded. "This report states that Mr. Streng becomes 'angry and violent when authority or rules of any kind are usurped'". Yet Mr. Streng clearly went out of his way to usurp his own rule, and has yet to make a violent action against…" he paused, glancing quickly at Ne' Chrome. "…Against a certain individual who he knows has usurped his rules. Not only that, but early in this very trial…"
-Flashback-
"Some of your rules and regulations don't have to be followed, Mr. Streng."
The two men stared at each other for a minute. Streng let out a long sigh, and caved in. "I suppose you're right, Mr. Moore."
-End Flashback-
"Right here, in front of the eyes of the court, Mr. Streng openly admitted that rules and regulations can be disobeyed! As we can clearly see, Mr. Streng is nothing like what this report makes him out to be!"
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"While that may be all very well and good," Tanya argued, "it makes little difference to this case! Andre' Ne' Chrome is the one on trial here, not Abraham Streng!"
OBJECTION!
"But the parallel that can be drawn from this should be obvious! This report and that you yourself presented yesterday…"
"Are both crocks" Streng finished.
Chancellor doubled back. "Well… yeah. How did you…?"
"Because!" Streng interrupted. "I…" his eyes opened wide for a moment, then he bit his lip. "I have a strict personal policy against divulging work-related personal information to unauthorized parties."
"It's alright Mr. Streng," Chance assured him. "I think I can piece things together from there… can you at least nod yes or no if I get it right?"
Streng thought for a moment, than shook his head.
"Well this should be interesting…" Scotty said, legs twitching wildly. "Is there anyway we can have a twenty minute recess?"
"Not a Chance, Scotty" Chancellor said. "But rest assured, if things go the way I think they will, we'll have quite a long recess in a short while."
"Promise?" Scotty whimpered.
"Promise" Chance nodded. "Now, Mr. Streng, judging from this Employee Record…" holding the papers in his hand. "After you found out that Mr. Friday was giving quack diagnoses, you fired him, correct?"
A stiff nod from the witness stand.
"Are shakes and nods of the head even admissible as testimony, your honor?" Krasivaya interrupted.
"I don't know" Scotty admitted. "But I've got the strange feeling that things will only get Moore bizarre in the days to come, so I'm good with it."
"Thanks, Scotty" Chance smiled. "Now, Mr. Streng, you were the one who fired Mr. Friday?"
A shake of the head.
"No, of course not, it was Ms. Nook who fired him, correct?"
A nod.
"And I'll bet Mr. Friday was pretty mad when that happened, huh?"
Another nod.
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"I'm sorry, perhaps I'm a bit slow here" Tanya interrupted again. "But I have to ask, how does anything about Mr. Friday have anything to do with the trial of Andre Ne Chrome?"
"Oh, sorry, I thought that was obvious" Chance said nonchalantly. "I'm accusing Jaden Friday as being the true killer of Ms. Ashley Nook."
So simply said, yet such uproar caused.
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"WHAT?" Krasivaya yelled, flinching backwards. "That's insane! You're going to accuse someone we've never even seen in this court, on the sole premise that he might have been angry at her firing him?"
"Well, no, it's Moore than that" Chance defended. "It was to protect his career as well!"
"What?" Tanya said, flabbergasted.
"Where did you…" Cassie started.
"What on earth brought you to that conclusion?" Scotty demanded.
"Well…" Chance explained. "I was reading over this memo from the day of the murder," he said, holding up Nook's memo for the court to see. "See how it says 'Friday meeting TBA?"
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"Stop right there, Moore!" Krasivaya objected. "Don't you think you're reading a bit too much into that? It simply means that a meeting was planned for the day Friday, not about 'a' Friday!"
"Well, yes, I thought that too at first…" Chance admitted. "But then there's this other memo…" he flourished Streng's Memo. "See how it says 'company picnic after work Friday'? Granted, I'm no businessman… but don't you think a meeting held the same day as a company picnic would be a guaranteed failure?"
"It most certainly would!" Streng added. "Everyone would be antsy to go outside and no work would get done at all!"
Chancellor flinched. "You… you actually agreed with me?"
"Well, I've got a strict policy of agreeing with people who are right" Streng said matter-of-factly. "Oh… and about whether this meeting was about Mr. Friday or not…" Streng paused for a minute, then gave a big nod.
"I knew it!" Chance yelled triumphantly. "Ms. Nook and others in the company were going to blacklist him, weren't they?"
An overly dramatic pause, and then a small nod.
"YEEEEEEEEEEES!" Chance screamed, overconfidence pouring out of him. "Scotty! Now we can have that recess you wanted! I request that Mr. Friday be brought to the court to…"
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"The simplest of minds truly are the easiest to please" Tanya scolded. "Mr. Moore, I congratulate you on scrapping together a motive for someone who we've never even met before," she shook her head in mock disappointment, "but, quite honestly, it amounts to nothing!"
"Um… um?" Chance uttered, confused.
"Mr. Moore, you're defense thus far has neglected to answer three very important questions!" She slammed her hand down onto the desk. One! How did this Mr. Friday move the weapon without being seen by Ms. Scrubbs? Two! How did Mr. Friday enter Mr. Ne' Chrome's house without being seen on the security camera? And three! Why was Mr. Friday not found by the police when Mr. Ne' Chrome's house was raided?" She flicked her hair back dismissively. "No matter how you look at it, the only person who could have accomplished these feats, particularly the last two, is Andre Ne Chrome!" She pointed dramatically for effect. "There is no reason to bring Mr. Friday before this court!"
"Urk!" Chance flinched. "Well… you see… uh…" Ah shoot! Even my reflection doesn't know the answer!
"Please don't tell me you never considered that?" Cassie asked.
"Well… I kind of figured those questions would answer themselves when Mr. Friday was brought before the court…" Chance replied.
Cassie slammed her head on the desk. Hard. "That hurt" she said. "But it doesn't hurt as much as the absolutely horrible shame I'm feeling right about now."
"Now I'm beginning to wonder if you and Tanya are related" Chance said under his breath.
"This isn't a time for jokes!" Cassie yelled. "If we can't explain this, Andy is dead!"
"Dead…" Andre warbled. "De-de…deeeeaaaaad??" He jumped out of his chair hysterically. "No! No dead! Dead bad!"
"Mr. Ne' Chrome!" Streng commanded, "control yourself!" Andre froze, than sat back down.
Wow… what power. I guess he's head manager for a reason.
"If worst comes to worst, Andre" Streng reassured. "I'm prepared to testify that you would never hurt Ashley." He gave a slight smile, the first since his appearance in court. "But it shouldn't come to that."
Chance looked up, both shocked and interested. "What are you…"
"I'm saying" Streng interrupted. "That I have a very good idea how Mr. Friday could have done these thigns… and if we bring him in front of the court… well, these questions will answer themselves."
"Awesome!" Chance yelled jubilantly. "Scotty! We should…"
"Recess until Mr. Friday is brought to court!" Scotty declared. He banged his gavel quickly, and then ran out of the courtroom.
Cassie shook her head. "When did Ms. Scrubbs say she could get that medication again?"
-District Courthouse, Defendant's Lobby 3. 5/22. 4:26 pm.
Andre sat in a corner of the lobby, curled up in a fetal position. "Losing… dead…dead… losing… case… have case… dead…"
Ricky walked in the room, about to say a congratulatory word, but stopped suddenly. He pointed at Andre. "Um… does he know that…"
"Yeah" Cassie nodded. "He knows we're doing well, and he can't stand it."
"Um…" Ricky paused. "Um?"
"Yup" Chance said. "Our having a case has been a pretty big shock to him."
"It's been a pretty big shock to me too," Cassie admitted, eyeing Chancellor. "If it's not too much to ask, where the hell did you pull this case out of?"
"I'm… not sure what you mean" Chance said, unsure.
"You know! The whole 'Ms. Nook was threatening to blacklist Mr. Friday' thing! Where did you come up with that? I mean, looking back, I suppose you could guess at something like that from the evidence but… I don't know, it just makes you seem a lot Moore intelligent than you really are."
"Ooh! Ooh!" Ricky said, holding his hand up and waiting to be called on.
"Go ahead Ricky" nodded Cassie.
"Well, he used to do stuff like that all the time back at college" he teased with a big smile on his face. "The guys used to call it his 'womanly intuition'."
Chance slumped over. "I hated college."
"Well, at least you had me to get you through it for two years, right?"
"Yeah, because that made it so much better…"
OBJECTION!
"Hold it right there!" Cassie yelled. "Yesterday you claimed that the two of you were three years apart! If that were true, you only would have shared one year of college together!"
"A CLEAR CONTRADICTION! Whoever writes your dialogue is getting lazy!"
Chance and Ricky stood silent for a minute. "He worked for a year before going to college." Ricky explained.
"And then I did one of those 3-3 law program things…" Chance concluded. "Yeah…"
Cassie's arm fell to her side, and she let it hang momentarily. "Oh… um… sorry…"
"Not as easy as it looks, is it?" Chance smiled.
"It looks terribly difficult, actually" Ricky admitted.
"Yeah, I know. Still."
-District Courthouse, Courtroom 5. 5/22. 5:06 pm.
"ORDEEEEEEEEEEEER UUUUUUUP!" yelled Scotty. "Let's get right down to business!"
"I'm shocked at you Scotty" Tanya joked. "Since when do we ever get right down to…"
"LIA'S! BIRTHDAY!" Scotty boomed. "Witness! Take the stand!"
Jaden Friday had arrived earlier than Scotty, had already been briefed, and was, in fact, already at the stand. He looked very professional. He wore a gray suit with a dark black tie, and his black hair was cut neatly, with only a few short bangs covering his face. His face remained calm and collected, as if saying to the world 'I'm an understanding person. Talk to me, we'll figure something out."
"Mr. Friday!" Scotty ordered. "Take the stand! Now!"
"I'm already here! Open your eyes, star head!" Friday snapped, the same look of calm and understanding remaining on his face.
"STAR HEAD?" Scotty yelled apprehensively, covering his five-pointed blonde hair with one hand. "Now see here, Mr. Friday…" he stopped. "You know… This is really inconvenient. I can't yell at you if I can't see you."
"Once again, open your eyes, star head! I'm right here!" the psychiatrist snarled with a perfectly calm face.
Chancellor raised his hand hesitantly. "Um… Mr. Friday? If I might make a suggestion… could you move out from behind the witness stand?"
"What makes you think I'll take orders from you, she-male?"
Chancellor flew back against the wall and slid down it slowly. "That… was uncalled for…"
"Oh, Mr. Friday?" came a cute voice from the other side of the room. Chancellor stood up, then immediately fell back down at what he saw. Tanya's dress has 'accidentally' become un-zippered in the back, and she was struggling with both hands to keep it from falling off. "Mr. Friday? If you'd be so kind as to zip me up?"
"Hot dog!" the witness gasped, and ran over to the prosecutor's bench. He jumped, jumped again, jumped a third time, and finally rested his hands on his knees. "I'm sorry, sweet cheeks" he apologized lustfully "but I just can't reach."
He was only three feet tall.
"Bailiff? Perhaps you can get the witness something to stand on?" Scotty requested.
"I don't need any stinking booster seat!" Friday said apprehensively. He walked to the witness stand, grabbed it with both hands, and hoisted himself up. "There" he said "can you see me now?"
"Why yes, thank you, Mr. Friday" Scotty nodded. "That's most helpful."
"Hey, solving problems is what I do best!" he declared. "I've even got a business card to that effect." He looked at Chancellor. "Pardon me for saying so, but you look like a likely candidate for psychiatric trouble." He whipped a card out. Forgetting that he was balancing on his arms, he immediately crashed to the floor. "Go on, take it, she-male," he said as he picked himself back up, "we can laugh this whole thing off later, provided you don't falsely convict me."
Friday's business card:
Friday's At-home Psychiatry
555-687-3377
610 Posheton Estates.
"Erm… thank you, Mr. Friday" Chancellor said, "but… I don't need a psychiatrist… I've kind of already seen one."
"You have?" Cassie asked, interested.
"Really?" Tanya, somewhat worried.
"NOT! IMPORTANT! RIGHT NOW!" Scotty bellowed. "Mr. Friday. Testify about your whereabouts on the day of the crime."
"You got it, star head," he said, faltering slightly on his arms.
"Let's see… the day of the crime was… the 20th? Am I right? I spent most of the day seeing patients… I've only got three or four that come to the house, business just started up after all. At around 5:00 I went to make a house-call…"
Objection!
"Everyone knows doctors don't make house calls!" yelled Cassie.
"I do, but then, I'm just that kind of guy" Friday said smugly (smugness did not, of course, appear on his face). "Anyway, at around 5:00 I made a house call. I got home at 7:00 that night, I remember because my grandfather clock was chiming."
"And I suppose you can't give us the name of the patient who can confirm this alibi," Chancellor challenged.
"Of course not," Friday explained, "doctor-patient confidentiality after all."
"Right" Chancellor nodded. "Of course."
Friday held up his hands in a 'what can you do' pose. He had forgotten again that they were the only thing standing between him and thin air, and he promptly fell down. "What can I do about it?" he asked rhetorically as he hauled himself up again. "It's the law, after all." He smiled an empty smile.
Scotty shifted uncomfortably in his chair; Friday's smile had caused his legs to act up again. "Chance? You can cross-examine now."
"Thank you, Scotty" Chancellor replied. He closed his eyes for a minute, thinking over his course of action. I've got a feeling I won't get any second Chances from here on out… I've got to finish this, here and now. "Mr. Friday, you live at 610 Posheton Estates, correct?"
"As the business card says, she-male" he replied calmly.
Chancellor's right eye twitched slightly, but he pressed on. "Which means the house right across from you is… 611?"
"609, actually" Friday corrected. "But I hardly see…"
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"Mr. Moore, I hardly see how where the witness lives has anything to do with this case!"
"But it does" Chancellor asserted. "Perhaps I'm the only one who pays attention to such things, but does anyone here remember what number house Andre Ne Chrome lives in?" He held up a hand, sweeping it across the courtroom and stopping at random people. "You? You? You? Surely you know, Mr. Ne Chrome."
Andre looked up from his novel. "I live… well, used… to live… at 609 Posheton estates…"
"Meaning that house across from you is…" Chancellor led.
"6…10…"
"Meaning that, this footage that so conveniently gives an 'across the street' view of Mr. Ne Chrome's house…"
"Was taken by a camera mounted on Mr. Friday's house!"
"Yes, well I could have told you that" Friday tutted precociously. "I was the one whose house the police barged into so rudely and whose security tape they so brashly absconded with!"
"That's nice, Mr. Friday" Chancellor said quickly. "But my main point here isn't really where the tape came from… it's where are you on the tape?"
"Um… beg pardon?" Friday said, his voice shivering by only the tiniest fraction.
"You claim you arrived home at around 7:00, correct? However, this tape doesn't show anyone driving by until the police arrived!"
"If you were where you claimed to be, you would be seen on this tape, entering your own home!"
"Grrgh?" Friday grrghed.
……… Grrgh?
"Yes, well… hm! That's very interesting now, isn't it?" Friday laughed. "You're absolutely right… why aren't I on that tape?"
"Well, it's a pretty simple reason, I would think" Chance jumped in. "You weren't there because…"
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"You're not about to say 'Mr. Friday isn't on the tape because he was at the plant, are you?'" Tanya objected. "Because one, that's leading the witness, and two, Mr. Friday couldn't have gone to the plant that day!"
"I couldn't have?" asked Friday. "Oh! Yes, of course I couldn't have! Because… of…um… the…" Tanya stared at him, unsure whether to help or not. As it turned out, she didn't have to.
"… The security system?" Chancellor suggested. Cassie slapped him hard.
A light bulb went off in Friday's mind. "Ah yes! That's right! You see, Mr. Streng makes a strict rule of only letting employees have key cards!" He nodded, smiling an empty smile. "I had my key card stripped of me when I was fired, so there's no way I could get in!"
Chancellor slumped over. Me and my big mouth. I think I should make a new strict personal policy… 'Don't help people, ever'. Yeah. That's a Christian attitude. "Scotty? You did see how obvious it is that he's making that up, right?" he asked hopefully.
"Of course I did" Scotty nodded. "Not that I can do anything about it, though. You're going nowhere if you can't show halfway decent evidence that Friday could get into the plant."
"Which you can't," Tanya said firmly. "Mr. Friday could not have made his way into the plant, therefore he could not be Ms. Nook's killer!" At least I hope he can't be. I'd feel like such an idiot if it turned out he could…
OBJECTION!
СУКА! There is no need here to translate the word 'СУКА', as it would have to be censored out anyway.
"It's not decisive evidence by far" Chancellor validated, "but coupled with the witness' incredible uncertainty, I'm sure it will suffice, Scotty." Chancellor slammed his desk hard with one hand. "Ok people! Pop quiz!" He pointed at a bearded man in the audience. "Were you here yesterday?"
"Well… yes… but…" the man stuttered.
"Do you remember, by Chance, what Ms. Nook's body was wrapped in to minimize blood staining?"
"Erm… well" the man stroked his beard. "I believe it was a… suit, wasn't it? Like a HAZMAT suit?"
"Ding, Ding! Correct! 10 points!" Chancellor congratulated. "But not just any HAZMAT suit…" he paused for effect. "A child-sized HAZMAT suit." He smiled, full of satisfaction. "I've been wondering why, if Mr. Ne' Chrome was truly the murderer, was the first thing nearby a child's HAZMAT suit." He shook his head. "If the murder occurred in his office, the closest suit nearby would be in his size, wouldn't you think? The only way I can make sense of Ms. Nook's body being in a child-sized suit…"
"Is Mr. Friday wearing his own suit to infiltrate the plant, and then stuffing the body into it!"
"Grrgh?"grrghed Friday.
Yup, nailed it.
"Mr. Friday?" Chancellor asked.
"What?" he snapped, his face remaining calm. "So I'm short, does that make me the killer, she-male? You got something against short people? Maybe you have Dwarvaphobia?" Friday tutted. "Mr. Moore, you really shouldn't let personal prejudice control your behavior at work."
"I'm not!" Chancellor retaliated. "Your height is a crucial piece of this case! It's why Ms. Nook's 'body bag' was a child's size! It's why you were able to sneak past Ms. Scrubbs to hide the weapon, it enabled you to fit in the trunk alongside Ms. Nook's body, and it allowed you to hide, unseen, until the police left the house!"
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"Ooh, Mr. Moore, don't get too excited over there" Tanya cooed. "Your saying these things as if they were actual facts, but…" she wagged a finger. "You naughty boy, you, you haven't proven a thing! While the facts you have stated are possible because of Mr. Friday's height, I think that you're forgetting one thing."
"What's that?" Chance asked.
"Mr. Fridays' height also makes it impossible for him to have committed the crime!" Tanya stated.
"Wha… what?" Chancellor sputtered.
"You see, Mr. Moore, the height difference between Ms. Nook's neck and Mr. Friday's arms is three feet!" Tanya began. "Well, approximately at least, seeing that Mr. Friday is about three feet tall and Ms. Nook was a little over six. Now tell me, Mr. Moore, how can a man effectively wield a long scythe with such power to cut through a woman's throat in one go, when so much distance has to be covered just to make the connection?" She flicked her hair back, annoyed. "I'm not letting you out of this court until your tapestry is free of loose ends, understood?"
"Chancellor! Chancellor!" Cassie whispered, pulling on his arm. "I know this one! It's in my…"
"The answer is in this phone!" Chancellor yelled, whipping out Cassandra's Strawberry™. "There's a picture of a shoeprint on here that…"
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"Mr. Moore! I'm sure you know that cell phone pictures are inadmissible as court evidence!"
"I'm not really presenting the photo as much as the idea behind the photo. This footprint is on a ledge that runs the perimeter of Safeguard Nuclear! It's approximately three feet tall. If Mr. Friday were to climb up on top, then wait behind one of the pillars in the buildings infrastructure…" he slammed a hand down on his desk. "The murder could be committed just like that!"
"IF! COULD! MIGHT!" yelled Friday from the witness stand, his face staying exactly the same. "All you have right now is a bunch of hypotheses with no real evidence!" He smiled another empty smile. "Perhaps you're narcissistic, and make these accusations to draw attention to yourself? Or perhaps you have an inferiority complex and you cope by sending people to jail?"
"I'm perfectly normal, thank you" Chance defended.
BOЗPAЖEHИE!
"Chancellor, I'm sorry, but to lie like that on court…" Tanya began.
"Tanya! Not helping!" Chance bristled.
"Sorry" she apologized. "But he does make a valid point. While you make a pretty convincing case, your evidence is a bit… nonexistent." She looked at him with sympathetic eyes. "And unless you figure out something quick, your client will be found guilty… regardless of what you've done."
"Yeah, what sweet cheeks said!" Friday taunted.
"Mr. Moore?" Scotty asked, praying to God that Chancellor had an answer and he wouldn't be an hour and a half late to Lia's party for nothing, "do you have anything that can prove Mr. Friday is connected in all this?"
"I'm going to need that scythe, Tanya" Chance said suddenly.
"Huh?" Cassie asked.
"What?" Tanya reacted.
"Tha-t's… that's so obviously the wrong answer I have to see how this turns out," Scotty stammered.
Chancellor just smiled. He took the scythe gingerly from Tanya, and then showed it to Mr. Friday. "Mr. Friday, do you recognize this scythe?"
"Yes" he nodded. "It used to hang on Mr. Ne' Chrome's office all the time."
"Have you ever used this scythe?"
"No, I can't say I… ow!"
The courtroom went into hustle and bustle. Friday's arms had finally given way, and he had fallen to the ground. He patted the side of his face, a tiny cut had been made by the scythe.
"Ack! Sorry about that!" Chancellor said, grabbing for a tissue in his pocket. "Here…" he placed the tissue on Friday's wound, holding it there until the bleeding went down.
"No, please, don't worry about it" Friday smiled emptily. "Completely my fault, rest assured."
"You're sure? Because I mean…" Chancellor said worriedly.
"No, no" Friday waved off. "Don't think anything of it."
"Alright then" Chancellor nodded. He walked back towards his desk, than whirled around and slammed the bloody tissue down. "Your honor, I request that the blood on this tissue be tested and compared to the unidentified blood stains in the trunk of Mr. Ne' Chrome's car!" He pointed at Friday. "If the match is conclusive, it shows that Mr. Friday was, indeed there, and the only reason he could possibly have to have been there is if he were hiding with the body!"
"GRRRRRRGH!" Friday yelled, his face showing every minute detail of defeat and agony. The courtroom went crazy. Scotty pounded his gavel, calling for order. Cassie gave whoops of triumph, while Tanya just leaned back against the wall and sighed.
To make a long story short:
NOT GUILTY
District Courthouse, Defendant's Lobby 3. 5/22. 6:13 pm.
"VICTORY SCREECH!!" yelled Ricky as Chance, Cassie, and Chrome entered the lobby.
"OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO!" they screamed. Cassie picked up on what was happening within five seconds, and even Andre gave a half-hearted 'ol…olo…lol…olol..."
"I… don't understand…" Andre warbled after the screech died down. "We had a case… you did such a good…job… (sniff)… why… why am I not guilty?"
Chancellor though about explaining the principle of 'logic' to Andre, but decided not to. He clapped the exceedingly creepy man on the shoulder. "Well, we just got lucky I guess" he laughed.
"Andyyyyyyyyy" came a motherly call from the hall (heh. Rhymes). Christine Scrubbs trudged into the defendant's lobby. "Andy, honey, you look so scrawny!" Andre started to speak to her, but… "Ah! Don't say anything honey, I've got just what you need" she reached into a pocket, pulling out volume II of the Tales of the Crypt Graphic Novel series. "I figured you'd about finished the first one by now, so I went out…" she reached into a large pocket, pulling out a collection of five novels. "And bought the whole rest of the series!" She frowned. "Sorry about suspecting you, Andy, hon."
Andre was moved to tears. His mouth flapped open and shut, but no words came out. Ms. Scrubbs shushed him, wrapped him in her arms and led him out the door, presumably to 'put some skin on those narrow bones'.
Chancellor looked after them. "Your dad has weird friends, you know that?" he asked Cassie.
"Yeah… well my dad is kind of a weird person…" she admitted.
"Cassandra!" came a man's voice from the hallway. "Cassandra! It's time to go home! Your teachers aren't going to allow you to miss another day of school!"
"In a minute, daddy!" she yelled back. She smiled at Chancellor. "Speak of the devil, huh?"
"Any Chance I get to meet him?" Chancellor asked.
Cassie frowned. "Chance, haven't you learned anything? I can't let you meet him because…"
Chancellor laughed. "Right, of course. About that…" he lowered his voice. "You… you do know that this is all really happening, right?"
"Yeah" Cassie admitted. "But I don't know… the real world is so… boring." She looked up at Chance. "You can't blame me for spicing it up by treating it like a book, now can you?"
"Well, of course I can" Chancellor said. Cassie began to rave, but he laughed her off. "But I won't. Don't worry." He stretched his arms out, letting out a brief yawn. "So then, see you tomorrow?"
"About that…" Cassie began. "I can't really… do this anymore, Chancellor. I still have to go to school, plus you know how daddy feels about attorneys…" She smiled. "But so what? I bet that's a relief to hear, huh?"
Chancellor froze for a minute. Wait. What? Seriously? She's not… I thought… "HA!" Chancellor laughed it off. "Yeah, I suppose it is." Ricky gave him an odd look, but didn't say anything. He smiled at her warmly. "Though I will admit," he said softly. "You're a lot more tolerable than I ever gave you credit for."
"Thanks" Cassie said. "And thanks for being ok with the whole… 'I'm going to follow you around for a while'… thing…"
Chance nodded. "It certainly made things a bit Moore interesting."
"Yeah…" Cassie said. They stood there, silent for a moment. "Well, I have to go… bye, Chance." She ran off, turned at the doorway to wave, and then ran down the hallway.
Chancellor let out a long sigh, and stared out the door for a minute. Ricky hesitated, than clapped him on the back. "It'll be alright man" he assured him.
"I hope you stare that long and lustfully when I leave a room," came a voice from the hallway. Tanya Krasivaya waltzed in, a playful smile on her face. Ricky, who had always considered himself an intelligent person, knew that it was his time to go.
"Lustfully?" Chance laughed, steeping towards the Russian. "Don't make me laugh. It's just…" he struggled for a moment, trying to find the right words. "She was like… the little sister I never had." He sighed again. "I'm going to miss that."
"Oh… cheer up, Chancellor" Tanya said, slowly lifting his chin up in one hand. She brought him close, running the other hand down his chest, and whispered in his ear. "I know something we can do… that will make you feel much better."
Chancellor's heartbeat quickened. If he was thinking what she was thinking… "Lead the way, beautiful" he whispered back. She grabbed his hand, and they were gone.
-?? 5/22. 8:00 pm.
"Oh, good gravy!"
"I knew you'd like it."
"But Tanya, Tanya, this is… good gravy, this is too much!"
Chancellor let out another cry of pleasure, and then squeezed a stuffed cow close to his chest. "You don't know how long I've wanted my own 'Dairy Mason' doll!"
Tanya, of course, had taken him to Create-A-Cow workshop. What did you think?
"A twenty-four year old man that plays with dolls" Tanya commented, shaking her head. "Honestly, Chancellor, how do you expect people to take you seriously?"
"I've never expected anyone to take me seriously, and I highly doubt anyone ever will" Chancellor replied. "Which means I never, ever, ever have to grow up."
Tanya held her head in migraine. "Please do, for my sake, I'd feel a bit awkward dating a little boy."
Chancellor laughed, and then kissed her. "Alright, but it might take a bit Moore time… I've only been around for ten years after all." He looked up at the ceiling. "It's amazing I've matured this much actually…" He caught an image of his face in a mirror on the store's ceiling. He walked up to the counter. "Can I get another doll that looks like this?" he asked, holding up Dairy Mason.
"Of course" said the counter girl. She quickly went over to a Creation Station and began outfitting a doll.
"Why another one?" Tanya asked curiously.
"Nothing" Chance smiled. "Just a gift."
-Cassandra's House. 5/28. 2:00 pm.
"Mail call!" came a man's voice from the front door. "Cassandra! It looks like there's a package for you!"
"Is it a mail bomb?" Cassie asked as she slid down the banister.
Her father held the package up to her ear, shook it furiously, and then gave it to her. "No, I don't think so" he said.
"Oh man…" Cassie grumbled. "That sure would have made things interesting around here…" Despite her disappointment, she quickly tore open the package. She gasped, and then slowly lifted a cow doll made up to look like a lawyer from the parcel.
To the best (and, yes, only) assistant I've ever had,
Happy Birthday! Best of luck in finding a decent college, and I hope you have a great summer!
Chance.
She hugged the doll tight. "Just what I wanted."
End: The Giant, Radioactive Turnabout.
Author's note corner: (if you're only here for the story, stop here).
Character In-depth: Cassandra.
Yes, even a story as original (coughcough) as this has to have a stereotypical, little-sister type assistant character. I kind of sort of based her off of the Cassandra from Soul Calibur… but, very roughly (she's blond, she's named Cassandra… yup, that's pretty rough). One of the reasons I made her blonde is because (check this if you want) there aren't any blonde women in Ace Attorney! Seriously, look. None.
Questions Never Asked… answered anyway.
Um… hi, it's me again. About Cassie… : Stop right there. I know she's 18 now, and so I don't really have to keep that information under wraps… but c'mon! She's the story's 'little sister' character! You do not give sizes for the little sister character!
Middle name! Now! : (sigh). You again. You don't even know her last name, and you want a middle name? You know what? Fine. It's Haruhi, as in 'The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya'. Chosen because Cassie finds the real world boring/hard, and wants to treat it like some sort of story.
If Cassie is Haruhi, then who fills out the rest of the brigade? : You… seriously want me to answer that? Well… there are six story-worthy attorneys at Thenue and Noble, so five of them are the brigade. Cassie, seeing as she's not part of the firm, wouldn't actually be Haruhi… that'd have to be Chancellor. Thenue would, of course, be Kyon, seeing as he's the one being dragged into it kicking and scream… I just answered that question. Good gravy, what's wrong with me?
A lot: That wasn't a question!
Is Cassie coming back in the next chapter? : Eh? What gives you the right to assume there's a next chapter?
And of course… favorite song! : It's a two-way tie between 'I Need a Hero' from Footloose and the theme music from Legend of Zelda. This is one girl who wants to be swept off her feet.
Scotland Domino:
As said earlier, the character's name was born out of an obsession with the song 'Scotty doesn't know'. I designed him to be completely different from the stereotypical judge; therefore, he's a young blond man who can't stand procedure? How'd this guy ever get elected? Ah… well that's a story for another day. If there is another day.
He's married? I thought he was Chancellor's age? : He's young, but not that young. Scotty just turned thirty. He met his wife Lia (Australia) in college, and married her at age 25. He also has a two-year old daughter named Georgia!
They're all… they're all named after countries, huh? : … yeah. And because of the severe lack of country names that can be converted into people names, he has no other family worth writing about. None! Don't ask!
… Star head? : Yeah… I suppose I've never really explained this very well in the story… Scotty's hairstyle is… unigue. He wears his blond hair in five equal-sized points, one that drapes over his face like bangs, two that cover each ear, and two that frame the back of his neck. When viewed from above, his hair would look like a yellow star.
Middle name? : Wales. Self-explanatory.
Favorite song? : What do you think? It's 'Jet Airliner' by the Steve Miller Band!
Fun fact! : 687-3377, when converted to letters, spells out 'Murders'.
Learn Russian!
СУКА: (Pronounced 'sook-a'). You really want to know, huh? It means 'female dog', if you get my drift. But… it's also just the word for dog.
СОВЕРШЕННО ВЕРНО: (Pronounced 'sov-ehr-shen-na vyer-na): 'Absolutely correct'
МОЖНО ИДТИ В ТУАЛЕТ?: (Pronounced 'mojh-na E.T. v to-ahl-yet): Your first complete sentence! (Sniff) I'm… I'm so proud! МОЖНО means 'May I', ИДТИ is the infinitive 'to go', B means 'in' or 'to' and ТУАЛЕТ means… toilet. This is how to ask 'May I go to the bathroom?'
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Peace out all.