A/N: I'm SO excited about this chapter! I've had it done for a few days now, but my "r-awesome" beta, TaylorsLizzie, was sick. Poor Girl. I sent her virtual soup and she was able to pull through! Yea!

This is the last bit of angst – for a little while away – so please enjoy and if you don't leave me some love, I might have to threaten to never write again.

Which would never happen, but please, don't make me feel sad and unloved. I love you – I'm posting this, right?

Just think about it….

"When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window…"

– Maria, The Sound of Music

It's a shame that it had to be this way
It's not enough to say I'm sorry
It's not enough to say I'm sorry
Maybe I'm to blame
Or maybe we're the same
But either way I can't breathe
Either way I can't breathe
All I had to say is goodbye
We're better off this way
We're better off this way…

Secondhand Serenade - "Goodbye"

She awoke slowly, fighting away the cobwebs that had grown thick in her skull. Was it real this time? Was she truly the owner of her body again?

Bella felt her fingers twitch as icy ones gripped them. She tested her hand again, and was beyond thrilled when she felt it obey.

"Hello, my love," came a musical voice, and she knew it was Edward. A sense of fear and disappointment settled into her stomach, causing her to wonder why she would be frustrated that he was the one at her bedside; but she pushed the thought away almost as quickly as it had come.

I wish it were Jacob.

Bella forced her thick eyelids open, and her vision was cloudy, bleary with sleep. "Hey," she managed to croak out, and she licked her dry lips.

A cup and a straw appeared in front of her mouth, and she was almost startled. Vampires, she reminded herself ruefully. Her eyes opened wide and her gaze flicked to him in shock.

She remembered.

"You're a vampire," she blurted out. He chuckled a twinkling laugh and her hands flew up to cover her flaming cheeks. "I'm sorry," she murmured, her body hot with embarrassment.

"Don't apologize, love," he said softly, nudging the straw to her lips. She took a few careful swallows and gave him a grateful look. "I am pleased that your memories have returned to you." He placed the cup back on the tray table next to her bed. "I feared that the rupture of the aneurysm would negate all of your progress. I am glad that instead it cleared your mind of the fog it was under."

She forced back a grimace at his elegant words, and she found herself surprised by her reaction. Before, his pretty language had dazzled her. Perhaps her realizations about Jacob had also cleared her mind of the spell he had somehow placed on her.

Bella tested her muscles slowly and found that she was sore. Her face contorted with pain, and she flinched when his frozen hands wrapped around her waist to help lift her into a sitting position. He took them away from her quickly, the hurt evident in his eyes.

"Edward…" she sighed, and her words trailed off. She didn't know where to begin, but she knew she had to say something now, before she lost her courage. Bella may have realized that she didn't care for him the way she had believed, but she didn't want to cause him pain either. There was just no reason to lie to herself anymore. Her life was fragile, and it was too brief to waste any more of it. Their eyes met, and he pulled away from her slowly, rising to stand next to her bed.

He gave her a gentle smile. "You don't have to say it, love," he returned softly. "I know things are different between us now. I felt it that night after I took you home from the bonfire." He sighed softly. "It just… wasn't like it was before." Her eyes roamed his face, and she noticed he looked drained, almost exhausted, which seemed strange for a man who couldn't sleep. He took her small hand in his, and it took everything she had to keep from shivering at his cold skin. He still deserved her respect, and she refused to break his heart further by rejecting his touch.

"I don't want you to feel bad for the way our relationship has turned out, my love. I never expected to have this time with you, and I am grateful to whatever Gods may still listen that I experienced this with you." He smiled again, and it was confident and easy, but she could still see the lie that it covered. "I have spoken with my family. Once you are well enough to return home, we plan to travel to Italy for awhile. We are hoping that our presence there will sooth the Volturi. Once we explain your accident and the amnesia, Carlisle believes that they will accept our wish to leave you as human." He shrugged and allowed their hands to drift apart.

Bella willed away the tears that hovered just below the surface of her eyes. She refused to cry anymore – she had cried enough over these last months. "Thank you, Edward," she said softly, unsure of what else to say.

"I only want the best for you, my love," he replied, his voice laced with compassion, love, acceptance, and heartbreak. "But it is time that we move on. My family will miss you, and I… we would like to visit… from time to time, if that is acceptable to you."

She nodded vigorously. "Of course it is," she insisted. "I will always love you, Edward." He flinched at her choice of words, and she felt a ball of sadness collect in her throat. "Please believe that. I just… there's so much I can't give up to be with you… I hope you can understand. My dad needs me, Renee needs me…" Her voice trailed off.

"Jacob needs you, too," he finished for her. Her eyes flew up to meet his and he nodded sadly. "I always knew that you loved him, Bella. Even when you didn't. I knew that eventually the time would come when you would realize it, and that it would end our relationship." He laughed quietly, but it sounded very bitter to her ears. "I desperately wanted eternity with you, but I knew that it was not the future for you. Why do you think I fought so hard to keep you human?" His fingers traced lazy, icy circles on the top of her hand. "You would regret not being with him. His thoughts about you have betrayed him more times than he would care to admit – I know that you were destined to be his mate, and I have worked hard to convince my heart that this is your true path."

He sighed and she watched the emotions that danced across his perfectly sculpted features. "I am glad that we were able to have this closure with one another." He smiled again and reached up to stroke her cheek gently. "I will always love you, but it is time that I move on and let you live the life you were supposed to have." Edward leaned forward and placed his marble lips on her forehead. She closed her eyes, and the traitorous tears spilled out from beneath her eyelids. "Goodbye, my love."

He stepped away from the bed, turning to leave, but her right hand shot out to grab his wrist. He stopped, and slowly spun back towards her, his eyes wide with surprise. "I'll always love you, Edward. I'm just sorry it wasn't the kind of love you were hoping for."

"Don't be sorry," he murmured. "It was more than I could have ever dreamed of. I did not deserve this happiness – I am only grateful to have been on the receiving end of your love, no matter how brief."

He kissed her hand for what may have been the last time, his golden eyes meeting hers. She let him carefully lay her palm back on the mattress. "I love you," he said gently.

"I love you too," she whispered back. Edward turned away from her then, and she watched him move towards the door. The tears flowed faster now, and while it hurt to see him go, her heart pounded in eagerness. She could be with Jacob now – she could love him the way that he deserved.

Neither of them anticipated the thunderous bang of the opening door. Neither of them knew that Jacob was on the other side. Whether it was because they had been too distracted by their own sadness or because they had been too busy saying goodbye, neither of them expected the angry entrance of a rather furious teenaged werewolf.

Edward froze in shock, his body tensing as his mind was suddenly bombarded by Jacob's infuriated thoughts. "Jacob-" he began, but a hot fist flew inches from Edward's face, abruptly ending the conversation.

Edward jumped back, his supernatural speed carrying him away from the intense physical reaction of the large man that now filled the entryway. The offending blow landed in the drywall and Bella gasped, suddenly afraid that she would not get the reunion with Jacob that she had hoped for. "Jacob!" She shouted, yanking back her sheets to run to him. She had to stop this, had to make him understand that Edward was leaving, that they would finally be able to be together. She had planned on telling him when they were alone, but apparently the wolf wasn't waiting for the "right" moment.

"Stay in bed," Edward commanded from next to her, and she jumped in surprise as she realized he was standing next to her again, his cold hands forcing her back against the mattress. "You're going to rip out your IVs." She smacked at his hands in vain, desperate to get across the room to Jacob.

"Oh, look at the pretty picture," Jacob snarled from the doorway. Bella's mouth fell open. She hadn't expected this kind of greeting from him. "The vamp girl and her leech back together again." She became practically dizzy with confusion as her mind fought to make sense of what he was saying. Back together again?

Then it hit her. Jacob had overheard their conversation and misunderstood what she had meant when she had told Edward that she loved him. "And they all lived happily ever after." He laughed acidly. His shoulders were tight with tension and he trembled with the effort it took to keep from phasing and killing the pair right then and there. He shook his head violently, as if to clear their painful conversation from his memories.

"No, Jacob!" she cried pleadingly. "You don't-"

He threw up one hand in her direction, like he was blocking her words from his ears. "I don't want to hear it, Bells," he whispered brokenly. Her heart soared momentarily as he used her beloved nickname. But then, his tear-filled eyes met hers, and those hopes were instantly crushed. "My heart just can't take it anymore." With that, he turned and left the room, his hand slapping viciously against the wood door as he vanished into the hallway.

"Jacob!" she wailed, and her body curled in on itself, melting painfully into the thin hospital-issue mattress.

Edward rubbed her back soothingly. "It's ok, love," he said softly, his cold hand tracing the lines of her shoulders carefully. "He'll be back. He just misunderstood – but he can't stay away from you long, I promise."

"Just go, Edward," she ground out harshly, and she immediately felt bad for taking her anger out on him.

Bella opened her mouth to apologize, her face still buried in her pillow, but he spoke again before she could. "Don't worry about me, love," he replied quietly, and she heard rustling as he reached down and covered her shaking body with the blanket. "Please call if you need anything. We'll always be here for you, no matter what."

At that moment, she wanted to be angry. She didn't want Edward making promises about future reunions. She didn't want him reassuring her that there was nothing to apologize for. She was tired of always being the one in the wrong, of always being the way to break both of their hearts. She was weak and selfish, and it was infuriating to know that no matter what good intentions she had, she continually made horrific mistakes that hurt the ones she loved most.

But she sighed. It wasn't Edward's fault that she was such a moron. She lifted her head gingerly from the pillow and moved her head as carefully as she could, now all too aware of the pain that still lingered in her bones. But as she scanned the room, she realized that Edward was gone too.

And now she was alone.

The floodgates broke then, and she allowed her body to shake with the pent-up sobs. "No, no, no, no, no!" she moaned, and her lungs constricted painfully. She fought to breathe, but the agony was just too much. Her vision blurred with tears as her heart broke into a million pieces.

There might not be a way to fix this. She may have finally broken Jacob Black, the man that had done nothing but love her for his entire life. The man that stood by her while she continuously used and abused him. The man she had chosen over eternity with Edward. The man, she now realized, that she loved more than anything else in the entire world.

She knew in that moment, if Jacob never came back, she would never recover.

All those arrows you threw

You threw them away
You kept falling in love, then one day
When you fell

You fell towards me
When you crashed in the clouds

You found me…
Oh, please don't go
I want you so

For I lose control
Get these left-handed lovers out of your way
They look hopeful but you

You should not stay
If you want me to break down and give you the keys
I can do that but I can't let you leave…

- Barcelona "Please Don't Go"

Mere seconds that seemed wrapped into days, weeks, even months later, she felt a sense of déjà vu – sleep was slipping away from her once more. But, this time, it wasn't ice that greeted her, when she awoke:

It was fire.

She was almost afraid to move, to acknowledge that she was awake. She didn't want him to move – it terrified her though, to realize just how much she wanted him to stay.

It had all come down to this – She almost felt like laughing - that hysterical, out-of-control laughter that the insane often find themselves burdened with. It was one of those horrifying, endlessly traumatizing moments where it's everything and nothing all rolled into one. The finale, the climax, finally in sight and yet there is nowhere to go, no place to turn. There is no changing what had happened. The transformation was final, complete, absolute.

She knew in that moment that her life had irrevocably fallen into place - It was the beginning and the ending of her entire existence, her birth and her death all in one moment.

And she had yet to even open her eyes.

She felt his heartbeat stutter inside his warm chest, and she knew that he knew she was awake. But it was almost too much. She couldn't be afraid anymore – love had finally found her, had stopped being this abstract, somewhere-out-there concept, and had become her anything and everything; Jacob had suddenly become her sole reason for breathing, for blinking, for living.

Love was no longer this thing that just was, to being everything that she was and all that she would ever become. Love was a living, breathing, growing, changing, evolving… essence. It was overwhelmingly wonderful and incredibly painful.

Bella fought to keep control over her own body. She was trembling – she could tell by the way his arms had tightened around her, the change in pressure practically immeasurable, but she knew him better than he could have ever imagined. He was afraid, and it was all her fault. She had emasculated him somehow, made him less than he was capable of being. She had made him wait, made him suffer, but she couldn't help the swirling echoes of betrayal as they raced through her body. She wanted to scream at him, Where were you before? Why did it take you so long to find me...? This experience, though, this new concept of forever, it makes me afraid. I worry that I am not enough…. And it's confusing. Self-doubt is most certainly a new experience for me. But yet, I find myself loving you without reservation. This connection to you… that I am not afraid of. I fear… disappointing you. Do I deserve you? Am I worthy?

But this was her moment. She had to make him see, and it had to be now. It was new, it was different, it was real, and way beyond supernatural.

"Jake?" She meant to sound confident, but it came out more like an awkward, choked gasp.

"Hey, Bells," he whispered, his voice husky and quiet.

"You… you're here," was all she could manage.

His body moved uncomfortably behind her, and he suddenly felt like a stalker for climbing into bed with her without asking first. She felt his hips shift and she reached back to grasp his waist to keep him in place. "Please don't leave," she pleaded, and she twisted awkwardly around in the small bed so that they were face to face.

Jacob couldn't stop his hand from slipping through the space between their bodies so that he could cup her cheeks in his large hands. "I won't ever leave you again, Bells," he swore, and his heart soared with joy when she smiled for him. "I'm sorry… for earlier." He dropped his gaze from her face, and she was surprised to see the skin of his face tinge with a blush.

"I just… Edward's…" she fumbled over her words. All she could think about was making sure that Jacob never left her side again. Now that she finally had the chance to tell him how she felt, she couldn't get the words out.

"Oh, honey," a grim smirk split his lips. "I shouldn't have done that. He's… it's just…" He blew out a frustrated sigh. "I know that you lo-love him, and I want you to know that I can be your friend. You deserve that much from me."

Her mouth dropped open. He still didn't get it. "Ja-"

"Shh.." He put a warm finger against her lips. "Let me just finish this, or I'll never be able to say it again. Just let me say it, ok?" Jacob looked so sad, and it broke her heart to see him this way. "I know that since the accident, things just haven't been the same, and I shouldn't have jumped on you earlier. He's your boyfriend – it's your life. I can't make your choices for you – But I just can't do this-" his large hand gestured between them. "-anymore. Not like this, anyway. If we're gonna be friends, that's fine – you just need to tell me you only want to be friends. I can handle it, I promise, but-"

"Shut up, Jacob." Bella said firmly, locking her gaze with his. "Stop talking."

His brows drew close together, his handsome face twisting in confusion. "Bells, I need to say this, Ok?"

"No," she reinterated. "You don't." And before her shyness could get the better of her, she snaked her free arm around his neck and yanked down his head. He allowed her to move him, her pressure pushing their faces closer together.

"Bells-" She silenced his mouth with her own, and she groaned into his lips as they touched for what was only the second time.

He froze for half a second, before the tension oozed out of him. Jacob didn't stop to question it, didn't stop to wonder why – all that mattered to him in that moment was the feeling of Bella's mouth on his. His large body shivered, her touch filling his veins with electricity. She tasted sweet, like honey and cinnamon. Her scent surrounded him, and he let himself drown in her tiny embrace. She was his entire universe, the very reason for his existence, and for the first time in his life, Jacob finally understood that she was home.

now please please please leave the love...