AN: This chapter is unbeta-ed. Thanks to danielle72679, april666king, Solar571, team jazper, and kittycat1980 for your reviews.

Previously:

Oh God, what have I done? I can't believe I came so close.

Mom would be so disappointed in me…

I feel the dam break and release the build-up of tears from my eyes. My body collapses to the floor. I hear and feel sobs coming from my chest.

I stay there, crying, until I notice someone crouching down in front of me.

"What happened?" I hear him ask.

I'm too ashamed to tell you.

Edward

All I'm able to do is stand and watch. I can't decide whether to stay here or go to her, but I think I made my mind up the second I caught her scent. The rain has somehow made her scent more potent to me. I immediately know that if I move in her direction then she may not live to see another day, which is what I'm here to prevent.

Then again, that seems to be what she wants. I would just be making things easier for her- helping her out. It's not my fault she smells so… mouth-watering.

I suddenly find myself angry at her for wanting to waste her life like this. I would never get to taste- no, I can't allow myself to think like that. Who knows what I'll do.

It's the anger that I feel which forces me to leave and begin the run home. It's too dangerous for me to be around her. Besides, I only have a few minutes to spare before the sun makes its appearance again. But the further I run away from the Swan girl, the harder it becomes for me, almost like my feet are getting heavier or something. The monster that I normally try to hide wants to turn around and drain her dry. If she smells that good from a distance, then I can only imagine that her taste would be better than any other substance. At least, it would be to me anyway.

Without realising it, I notice that I've come to a stop in the forest near my home. Thinking of the girl's blood is obviously not something I can afford to do if it makes me act without thinking, but I still can't get my feet to move. I've become a statue, willing myself to stay where I am instead of turning around to end her life. I could make it quick- she'd never see me coming.

No- she's the Chief's daughter… you can't touch her.

I also realise that I must have stopped breathing at some point since seeing her. I take a deep, unnecessary breath in the hopes that the girl's scent will no longer be clouding my judgement. A hint of her fragrance still lingers though, or did I just imagine that? It's enough to make me take a step back in the direction of her house.

"Edward, stop!"

The sound of Alice's voice throws me. My body reacts instinctively, and I find myself crouching in a defensive position.

How did I not hear her coming?

You were too busy thinking of killing that girl, idiot.

I will my body to stand up straight. It takes some effort but I know that Alice isn't a threat. Was I trying to protect the Swan girl, or do I just want her for myself?

I think I know the answer to that one already. Why would I want to protect her? I've only just met her.

I think I have some explaining to do, I hear Alice think.

"What do you mean?"

"Just don't freak out, okay?"

What reason could I have to do that?

"When you decided that you were going to come home," she continues, "I had a vision."

Instead of telling me about it, she shows me.

The Swan girl… with red eyes.

Bella

Charlie doesn't wait for me to answer his question. I think from the evidence that surrounds me it's pretty obvious what I was about to do.

He doesn't say anything. I was expecting him to shout at me, or something. Maybe he's finally seen just how much of a lost cause I am.

Instead, he picks me up from the floor and carries me upstairs in his arms and to my room. I'm surprised that he's able to lift me.

My tears finally stop when he puts me down on my feet. Charlie leaves me with instructions for me to change my clothes. I realise then that what I'm wearing is still wet from my walk home in the pouring rain. At least my ankle doesn't hurt anymore from when I fell over.

I take my time following Charlie's orders and decide to also have a hot shower. As soon as the water hits me, the shivering stops. I hadn't realised how cold I was until now.

I stand under the water until it turns cold, signalling the end of my shower. The residual heat soothes me and gives me the strength to dry myself, put on some clean clothes and head downstairs to face my father.

I take my time to do these things. Time allows me to think, which I don't always let myself do enough of. I can't quite believe how close I came to seriously hurting myself today. I'm not even one hundred per cent sure that the pills would have done what I wanted them to. I'm glad I stopped before I could find that out the hard way.

And what about the distraction that made me question my destructive behaviour? Earlier, I believed he was a figment of my imagination, but what if there really was a person standing there… watching me? He couldn't have known what I was doing though. That gives me some comfort. I don't want anyone to know. But what was he doing there, and who is he?

When I reach the bottom of the stair case, I look through to the living room. Charlie is sitting in his armchair with his head in his hands. He must not know I'm here. I don't think he would want me to see him like this.

I walk over and take a seat on the couch. He still doesn't move to look at me.

What can I do? Should I just leave him to it?

I can't… I feel like I've broken him. I didn't realise he cared that much about me. I thought me was forced to take me in because he's my last living relative. Could I have gotten that wrong?

Maybe…

I clear my throat.

"Ch- Dad?"

My voice sounds quiet and hoarse after so little use. I'm hoping he didn't hear my attempt at calling him Charlie.

He raises his head slowly. When he meets my eyes, I can see an expression of shock written all over his face.

"What did you just say?" he asks in an almost whisper.

"Dad," I reply slowly, and just as quietly.

In the short amount of time that I've known him, I've never really seen my father express his emotions. I don't think I've even seen him smile, and I can't remember him shedding a tear for my mom. But that's not what I see now. His eyes have glazed over, as if he's trying to hold back his tears.

Crap, I've made him want to cry. That wasn't what I wanted.

It takes him a moment to collect himself, but his emotions are once again well hidden when he does so.

"So, you're talking now?"

Am I? I guess I will when I need to, but I don't expect there to be another situation like this again.

I shrug my shoulders in the hopes that that answers his question.

I hear him sigh in response. I guess he was hoping for me to say something instead.

It feels like I can't stop letting people down today.

"What happened at school this morning, Bella?"

You've got to admire his perseverance.

It seems like the events of my morning all occurred a long time ago now when really it's only been a couple of hours tops. I don't want to talk about school though, I don't want to remember it. But the images come back, making me reach up and find the strand of hair that still has gum matting it all together. I try to hide it before Charlie sees, but it's too late. I guess he was paying more attention to me that I thought.

"Is that… gum?" he asks as he stands from his chair and takes a seat next to me on the couch. He begins to reach for the piece of hair but stops himself. Instead he curls his hand into a fist as he rests it in his lap.

After a moment, he begins to talk.

"I got a call from the school when I was at the station… said you'd run off. I couldn't leave work straight away."

I'm glad he couldn't, I was a mess.

"I'm not mad about the door, Bells."

Huh? Oh right, I had to break the glass to get in.

"I should have given you a key by now," he says quietly, as if he's talking to himself.

"Those pills, Bella… I'm sorry about that. I only got them in case you changed your mind. Is that why you were so upset?"

What?

He doesn't know?

But I thought…

Doesn't it look obvious what I was trying to do? The contents of my prescription were scattered on the side, ready to be taken.

Maybe he just doesn't want to admit to it.

I must look confused but he doesn't ask why. He just stares at me, waiting for an answer. Maybe he's hoping that that's the reason why I was crying. Maybe he doesn't want to think the worst of me.

Should I play along, or tell him the truth?

"I… uh- bad day," I eventually get out.

"Right, well… I think I can guess."

I doubt you could, Charlie.

Edward

I couldn't tell you how long I've been pacing for. I think I've almost worn a hole in the carpet. It's not like I need to move, but it helps to calm me, probably because it's such a human thing to do.

My family are gathered around me in the living room. Alice had warned them that I would need them all when we arrived back at the house.

"Son, its okay," I hear Carlisle say.

I stop in my tracks.

"How can it be okay? I didn't kill her today, but I'm obviously going to hurt her in the future," I argue.

Those eyes… I can still see them. I'm never going to be free of that image.

"That's not necessarily true," interrupts Alice. "Isabella had been changed, but that doesn't mean you do it, Edward."

"But, her blood… I've never smelt anything like it. I wanted it… I wanted her."

I could have so easily entered her house and taken what wasn't mine to have. Honestly, what was stopping me from doing it?

"Edward, calm down. I can feel your blood lust from here," Jasper tells me from the other side of the room. He immediately begins to help me out by trying to calm me. I start to feel better. The burn in my throat lessens but doesn't disappear completely. This can't be easy on him. He feels what I feel.

"Sorry, Jasper," I say.

"So, what now?" Esme asks. "I mean, you're supposed to be starting school on Monday."

She's right.

"I won't go," I state simply. The further away I am from Isabella the better. My family can't afford for me to ruin the life they have already built here.

Aw, come on man! Finally, something interesting happens around here and he runs away from it, I hear Emmett think.

"I am not running away! I am not going to have her death on my conscience!"

"Sorry, Ed. I can't always control what I'm thinking. She's a nice girl, really quiet, but nice. You'd like her if you got to know her," Emmett tells me.

"That really isn't an option at this point," I reply. How can I be friends with someone I want to kill?

"Look," interrupts Rosalie, "if this is going to be a problem, then we need to fix it. Would it be possible for you to become desensitised to her scent over time?"

"That's not a bad idea actually," Jasper says.

He's always been the logical thinker, so I'm surprised Rosalie came up with the idea before he did.

I wonder… I hear coming from Carlisle.

"What is it?" I direct towards him.

"I was just thinking- wondering why her scent is so compelling to you," he states.

"Yeah," begins Alice, "I bet there's a reason for it!"

"What possible reason could there be?" I argue.

What if she was his mate? Esme thinks.

I have to laugh at that.

"What's so funny?" Emmett asks.

"That's just not possible, Esme. She can't be my mate if I can't even get within a hundred yards of her. And you're forgetting the fact that she's human."

"So?" asks Rosalie. "I thought something along those lines when I found Emmett bleeding to death. But I was strong enough to not harm him, which is exactly what you did today. You were strong enough to leave her alone."

"This is ridiculous," I say. "Why are you even entertaining the idea?"

"Let's just deal with one thing at a time," Carlisle begins. "Isabella has been through a hell of a lot in a short space of time. She's not well at the moment- that much is clear. Perhaps I should call Chief Swan later as a precaution to check on her."

"What do you mean she's been through a lot?" I feel like I have to ask.

"I'm afraid that's confidential information, son. I'm sure if you were friends with her she may one day be able to tell you for herself, that's if she wants to of course."

I chuckle.

"I don't see that happening any time soon," I tell them all.

"Well Alice, can't you look to see what would be the best course of action? If Edward decides to learn to get used to her scent, will he be able to get to know her?" Jasper asks his mate.

"You know that he actually has to decide to do that first, right?" she says rhetorically.

"What about if we get something of hers to test the theory?" asks Esme. "I can go. Will I be caught?"

Immediately, I see Alice's vision. In it, Esme turns up at the Swan house this evening under the cover of darkness with some form of human food that she's prepared. She gets invited in.

"I believe that you might be the best person to do it," Alice tells her.

"Great!" says Emmett enthusiastically. "A new friend for the family!"

"Calm down," Rosalie tells him.

I can tell that I'm not going to be able to get out of this no matter how much I protest. But I can't even imagine being friends with the girl, let alone her mate.

It's just a stupid theory, isn't it?