* dog days are over
Haley held as still as a statue outside the choir room door the nest afternoon. Her breathing was thick and even, and her arms were crossed calmly over her chest. She was the image of ease. Except for the fact that her mind was reeling a million miles an hour, and she quite physically had to control the urge for nervous tears to pour over her cheeks.
It was strange to think that this one glee club practice had been the motivator for all her choices since she woke up, and was admittedly her first priority.
She had thought longer about her outfit this morning than she had in years. After a thought process that was much more intense than anything she put into her homework, she finally decided on a slim fitting pair of dark jeans, her favourite (and one of the few overpriced pieces of clothing she owned), lose top from Urban Outfitters that had a scoped cut at the middle, so you could just see her toned stomach. Her goal was too look sophisticated and "put together", though not too formal for an average day at school. She was hoping to fool the club members that she had the money to buy expensive clothes, but didn't like flashing brand names around, for as long as she could .
Then, halfway through the morning, having decided she looked like she had tried much to hard for a Thursday, she frantically tried to even it out by changing her hair. The originally sleek, straight locks were traded for a lose but shiny messy bun, with a braided-material head band. She was praying the look was a, "effortlessly put together, though not trying too hard."
After her choice of clothes seemed somewhat acceptable, her poor brain was forced to doubt and stress over her introduction and entrance, along with English, Science, French and Art. Haley was quite positive she failed the science quiz she studied for because she was too occupied in worrying about how she should show up to the practice.
During lunch she quickly dashed into the library, hopefully unseen, and found a quiet and secluded corner. Pretending to be working on an extensive amount of homework, she formed her plan. Having brutally bantered back and forth with her mind, she decided she would show up first to the choir room, and attempt to act completely at ease. She would tell Mr. Schue that she simply wanted to be there early to get used to the routine. And then, in a perfect world, the others would casually walk in as she was light heartedly laughing and joking with Mr. Schuester.
In her perfect world ...
Her ever relentless thoughts were abruptly stopped when Mr. Schuester showed up to the door she was waiting at, and she was forced to begin the plan she so desperately dreaded.
"Oh, Haley. I'm very sorry about that, usually the others don't show up for a couple minutes. I wouldn't have made you wait, had I known," he told her apologetically as he unlocked the doors.
Shit, he was surprised. He probably thought she was a weird keener, over achiever now.
Haley frantically tried to cover up her unnessacary earliness, "No, no it's fine. I only came so early so I could get used to the routine. I wasn't really sure how it worked, so thought I'd get her a bit before." She somehow managed a full, carefree smile.
Mr. Schuester seemed pleased with her mood, and he smiled back joyfully. The door swung open, and he held his arms out, in a gesture for her to go in first.
"That's a good choice. Well, here we are. Welcome, welcome. Usually, the kids just come and sit wherever, but today, you can just hide over outside the other door, so once everyone's seated, you can make a big entrance!"
Not even the excitement and satisfaction in his face could hide her immediate panic.
Obviously, sensing the change in her mood, his eyes quickly became worried and his face dropped. He shook his head in question, and she responded with a brief, but terrified shake of her head.
Haley was nervous this would upset him, but thankfully, he just laughed. "Big entrances not your thing? No big deal, I very much understand," he told her with a chuckle and pat on her shoulder. The genuine sympathy and trust she found in his voice made her loosen up just the tiniest bit.
She smiled shyly as he instructed her to wait over by his desk. He turned around and began filding with files and papers, and she took her cue to sit on the chair off the the side.
Sitting down just gave her more time to think up awful situations, and her folded hands, placed neatly in her lap, just wouldn't stop shaking.
Eventually, she began to play little games with herself; once she had counted to fifty, the first person would show up. After seven more people crossed the door, the eight would be the first person to show up. Mr. Schuester would take out nine more sheets of people and the first member would walk through the door.
Unfortunately, no mind game could prepare her for the fear she felt when the first person did actually walk through the open door.
And, in case God needed more proof that her life was a walking laugh, Noah Puckerman was that person.
Haley didn't believe her heart could pound any faster. She waited for the moment he would make eye contact with her, and he would glare or scorn or laugh. She resisted the urge to keep her eyes shut.
Instead she watched him carefully. His careless stride, and muscled arms lazily swinging to the side. But, he never did look at Haley. She found it hard to believe that he never saw her, but he never focused on her long enough to make her embarassed, or even long enough for her to notice.
After making this discover, she started to notice that Puck wasn't acting like the cocky and rebellious trouble maker she had heard about and seen in the halls. He kept his head down, and he sat at the very back row. He kept his hands locked in fists, and he didn't smile, nor frown, or smirk. He was an emotionless statue.
Mr. Schuester turned at the sound of the first student, and when he saw Puck, Haley noticed his face became concerned and confused. His eyes stayed on Puck for a long moment, before hesitantly turning back around.
That was when Haley noticed Puck's infamous mohawk was shaved completely off. He hair was a neat and tidy cropped cut. Haley's mouth dropped open, in a tiny "o". She couldn't believe it. This must explain his attitude.
Before she had the chance to delve into thought about the new Puck, Quinn Fabray silently walked through the door.
If she thought she couldn't be more nervous of Puck's presence, she was utterly wrong. Quinn scared her more than she could believe. Haley had heard more about this blond, ex-cheerleader, than she heard about any A-list celebrity. And if Haley had learned anything, she knew that despite her pregnancy, Quinn could ruin her already weak social status and reputation.
Quinn walked with her hands close to her sides, and she took shy steps. Definitely not the bold and attention seeking Captain she had heard about, but still she kept her chin held straight.
Haley respected Quinn for being so strong and courageous, but she would have much prefered if she had kept her eyes locked on the floor, like Puck. Rather, Quinn spotted Haley immediately, and did not look away from her the entire time. Whether you were pregnant or not, Quinn's age and former popularity, she held immense power over Haley Moyen.
Her very pretty eyes looked Haley over more than once, and when they locked eyes, Haley was forced to break eye contact first. Finally, seeming satisfied, Quinn looked away, towards Puck. They exchanged a look, and while Quinn smiled small, Puck broke into a genuine smile. Quinn sat two seats over from Puck, right as Artie, Tina, Mercedes, and Kurt strode through the door.
Finally chatting and discussion filled the room, and Haley had a fleeting wish they would be too busy too notice her. And, somehow they did.
Relief filled Haley. Until they sat down.
That would be when Mercedes openly pointed to Haley, and they all nearly snapped their necks, whipping their heads back to look at her. Even Puck perked up and took interest.
Haley spent those five humiliating seconds praying they would not say anything to her and thankfully, whether the prayers worked or not, Brittany, Santana, Mike Chang, and Matt Rutherford walked in at that moment. Presumably, this gathering of cheerleaders and football players all at once, would have been the most frightening, however she was so glad for the distraction from her, she didn't even mind.
She shouldn't have gotten her hopes up because just moments after the latest four sat down and began talking with the others, they had processed Haley sitting in the chair to the side. Haley decided to intently watch Mr. Schue, who appeared to be getting ready to start the lesson. She chanted in her head repeatedly, 'Come on Schue, Come on Schue..'
Santana, surprisingly, decided not to acknowledge Haley, which Haley didn't mind in the slightest. While the others whispered and took glances at Haley, Santana just sat with her legs crossed carefree and an unimpressed expression planted across her features.
Everyone else seemed to lose interest for the time, and they all turned back to their conversations. Haley took the moment of freedom to process everything, and prepare herself for the next part of the challenge. When she would actually have to merge with them.
She looked at them all individually. She was in a room with Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez, and Mercedes Jones, three females she feared and secretly desired to impress, and they hadn't yet completely humiliated her. Around them were Noah Puckerman, Mike Chang, and Matt Rutherford, three males she had goggled at in the halls but avoided at all costs, and yet she had done okay so far.
Somehow, in this big group, along with people like Artie and Tina, who not even Haley knew, they seemed much less intimidating. It was like a private room where regular school and popularity literally was put aside. Maybe this wouldn't be so very bad. Maybe they would just act like she never existed. She could live with that, happily in fact.
Suddenly, Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry rushed through the door. They quickly shuffled to their seats, but Finn had a joking smile on his adorable face, and the usually uptight Rachel had a small smile on her face, despite her lateness.
Rachel sat beside Finn, and neatly brushed her outfit for wrinkles. "Sorry we're late Mr. Schue. You may begin now," she said calmly and formally.
Everyone except Finn seemed to glare slightly towards Rachel at the way she sounded so confident and important. Haley's heart leapt at the thought that maybe she would at least be more liked than Rachel.
Mr. Schue looked over at Rachel, and squinted his eyes slightly, seeming to have only noticed Rachel's absence. Mercedes rolled her eyes, and shot a knowing look at Kurt.
"Oh, right.." Mr. Schuester said awkwardly. Rachel seemed to be unaware of anything going on, and she focused on Mr. Schue.
Having regained his thoughts, Mr. Schuester walked to the centre of the floor and clapped his hands once. After a minute, the room became quiet and everyone's attention was on their leader.
"Alright everybody. After recent...uhm, events.. we're going to start fresh. Get a new focus, and a new attitude. We're in training mode guys. This is it. The final stretch until regional's."
At this, the club noticeably perked up and put aside the previous frustration at Rachel, and members like Quinn, Santana, and Puck looked somewhat motivated.
"We've got a lot to do, today, and the next few weeks. But before we get started, I have a rather big announcement," he said excitedly.
Oh, no. Haley knew this was the moment she had been dreading and planning out the past twenty four hours. Everyone else knew too as they all took glances in her directions.
"I have just recently recruited a new member for New Directions. I know this is a change, but I know you guys will be happy with this choice." His voice turned to a more forceful and strict tone, "I expect you to be welcoming and helpful, like I know you can be, because she's a bit younger than you all. Please welcome, our newest member, Haley Moyen."