Disclaimer: This is a fanfic. I'm making a note here: NOT MY OWN. It's hard to overstate my lack of ownership.
Ace Attorney. Own it they must, because: who else? For the good of all of us;
Except that the ones that are dead.
But there's no sense crying over every mistake,
You just keep on trying 'til the story is great
And the writing gets done, and you have a lot of fun
With the people who are STILL ALIVE!
That…. Probably didn't make a whole lot of sense, but… Skyler's on holiday. That's my excuse. (It's never the same without him around…)
Turnabout of the Ancient Mariner
(Trial, part 2)
Previously on "Chancellor Moore: Ace Attorney"…
Chancellor stood, hunched over his desk in defeat, Stradivarius DuClaw cackling away at the prosecutor's bench. "Give up already, Moore!" he taunted. "You've got nothing, and you KNOW it!"
"I'll never give in!" Chancellor shouted back, straightening up with resolve. "Not until I prove that YOU KILLED MY FATHER!"
"…killed your father?" DuClaw said, his face suddenly falling. "No, Chancellor… I… AM your father!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Chancellor screamed, starting forward in his chair. The entire courtroom stared, not really knowing what to do. Alexis looked at him for a minute, and then motioned with her finger.
"Come here" she said daintily. Chancellor shook his head minutely and shifted backwards slightly. "Come here" she said in an even friendlier tone. Chancellor hesitated, inching slightly closer to Alexis. "Closer" she said, motioning with her finger again. After another moment's hesitation, Chancellor, quite bravely, walked up to Alexis.
And was promptly hit on the head with an enormous dictionary.
"Did you sincerely, genuinely, seriously fall asleep during the five minutes it took to call the next witness?"
"Yeah…" Chance said, rubbing his head. "Did you seriously pull a giant 'New Lexicon Edition' dictionary out of your who knows where?"
Alexis shrank back. Chancellor smirked; satisfied that he'd shut her up for good. "Well you know what?" Alexis retorted, wanting nothing Moore than to wipe the look off Chancellor's face, "Strawberries aren't really fruit!"
Chance clamped his hands over his ears and cringed in pain that, for no apparent reason, was completely real and physical. "NO! IT'S NOT TRUUUUUUUE!!!!"
"Yes it is" Alexis said menacingly. She cleared her throat. "The strawberry is a false fruit, meaning the fleshy part is derived not from the plant's ovaries but from the peg at the bottom of the bowl-shaped hypanthium that holds the ovaries." She got in Chancellor's face. "That means… they've been lying to you, all this time." Chance whimpered softly, his bottom lip trembling.
"AHEM!" Alexis whipped around quickly. "As much fun as it is to torment Mr. Moore," Tanya asserted, having somehow gotten two inches from Alexis without her noticing. "That is a pleasure reserved for me only, understood?"
Alexis stood, mouth agape, unable to speak.
Ben rocked back and forth on his chair, covering his ears. "I didn't hear that, I didn't hear that, I didn't hear that…"
"OHOHOHO!" Culligan laughed, clapping Chancellor hard on the back. "Looks like someone's been being a…" he stopped. "Someone's been being getting…. Someone's being lying…. Someone's luckying…" He sighed. "This damn censorship is being a bitch."
Chance said nothing. He only crossed his legs.
Tanya's eyebrows rose, and she smiled. "Also" she continued, choosing not to react to anything the other four had done, "I find it very unprofessional that you would waste valuable court time to satisfy your sadistic urges." She turned away. "Do try to control your hormones, will you, Miriam?"
Culligan leaned towards Chancellor. "That betting of ours is still being on, ay?"
"ORDEEEEEEEEEER UUUUUUUUUP!" yelled Scotty. "The prosecution's first witness has been on the stand for minutes now, will somebody DO something?"
"Ah yes, don't worry about that at all, Scotty" Tanya shushed. "The witness will state her name and occupation."
"Um…" the witness muttered. "The name is… Athena Aegis… and I'm a defense attorney at Thenue and Noble…"
Chancellor's eyes grew as wide as silver dollars. "Tr…TripleA? Why is she testifying for the prosecution?" Good Gravy! Agatha Christie was right!
"You will do well to remember, Chancellor" Benvolio said seriously, arms crossed. "That Mr. Culligan is Jacopo's friend only. Ms. Aegis is testifying because the truth of the matter, as she sees it, is that Mr. Culligan is a killer."
"Which isn't being true, by the way" Culligan interjected.
"I never said it was, monsieur" Benvolio said with an apologetic smile. "But I do not want Chancellor here to get the wrong impression of Ms. Aegis; you undertand, yes… 'laddie'?"
Culligan laughed deeply. "Ay laddie, I understand."
"As do I…" Chance mumbled. "It doesn't really look good to have our higher-ups testifying against us though…" he grumbled under his breath, removing any doubt that he was Morage Thenue's true heir.
Benvolio flashed a large smile. "I am most grateful for your understanding, monsieur."
Tanya cleared her throat to attract the attention of the… (one…two…) six people in the courthouse not already staring at her. "Ms. Aegis?" she smiled. "Perhaps you can first clear up the confusion surrounding this document?" She held up the Red Herring sheet.
Ms. Aegis nodded. "Kenny's been holding that over the Culligan's heads for years." She stated. "Basically, Bonnie Culligan…"
Pardon Me!
"But…" Ben said softly. "I somehow doubt that the witness has any direct knowledge or any way of knowing, for certain, that Mrs. Culligan committed any illegal action." He shook his head. "Any testimony the witness offers on the subject can only be classified as hearsay… am I wrong?"
"Nope." Aegis said, beaming. "Good catch, Ben! I knew I wouldn't be able to get away with that!" She nodded her head exuberantly, chuckling to herself.
Well that's new… Chance thought. A witness congratulating an attorney for pointing out flaws in their testimony… Why can't I ever get a witness like that?
"Congratulations, Mr. Attorney" Tanya said with a flick of her hair. "The question was really Moore for effect anyway; the prosecution has done its research." She ducked under the desk for a minute (to the delight of all those seated behind the prosecution table) and surfaced with a large, obscenely heavy stack of papers. "There is more than enough proof here to show that Bonnie Culligan embezzled 1.4 million dollars from Red Herring Fisheries."
"Accepted into evidence…" Scotty groaned. "Oh, good God, that looks heavy…"
Mongo Stack: Basically, solid and quite heavy proof of Bonnie's embezzlement.
"The witness will now continue with her testimony, namely, Ms. Aegis; how is Mrs. Culligan's crime of years past related to this case?"
"Well, like I said" Aegis testified. "Kenny…well, I hate to speak ill of the dead, but she was a very… jealous person… and pretty defensive of Jack too. Kendra, and this isn't merely opinion, she actually talked to me about this, Kendra felt threatened by Bonnie; even though she was married to Gill, Kenny somehow got it in her head that Bonnie was too beautiful to be allowed to be near Jack for too long."
"Come to think of it" Alexis whispered to Ben and Chance, "Mrs. Noble always acted pretty odd around me too…"
"Except… how exactly could you be classified as 'too beautiful?" Chance whispered back.
SMACK! Rang the dictionary as it caved in Chancellor's head.
"Anyway…" Aegis continued, "as you can imagine, when Kenny got hold of the embezzlement scandal, it was like Ralphy getting a Red Rider BB Gun for Christmas. She blackmailed the Culligans, and forced Bonnie to stay in Scotland even though Gill…" she looked away from the defense's bench. "Even though Gill kept sending for her."
"You don't seem very broken up by this, Mr. Culligan" Chance whispered.
"I was having time enough to be crying it out in solitude last night, laddie."
"Alright, Chance" Scotty grunted, looking at the white-haired attorney expectantly, "You can cross-examine now."
"Actually, I'll be cross-examining, your honor" Alexis corrected.
Scotty raised his eyebrows and looked at Alexis oddly. "Are… are you allowed to do that?"
"Yes, affirmative, of course" Alexis said matter-of-factly. "It's not like Chancellor Moore is the undisputed king of cross-examination, after all."
Perhaps not, but I'm close. Chancellor thought. I'm Moore of earl, I'd think.
"Not even close" Morage grumbled from the gallery, "You'd have to have injected lethal amounts of LSDX-25 to even consider the possibility…"
"L…S…what?" Cassie asked, confused.
"A hallucinogenic painkiller" Thompson explained. "Strongest thing in the medical world right now."
"OOOOH!" Cassie said, snapping her fingers. "An anachronistic object that tells readers this takes place in the recent future! How did I not catch that?"
Thompson blinked, and then shook his head, smiling. "Whatever you want to call it, dear."
"Alright then" Alexis said, clearing her throat and approaching the witness stand. "Ms. Aegis, just clarify, elucidate, explicate a few things for me. When you say 'blackmail' you mean 'payment extorted by intimidation, as by threats of injurious revelations or accusations', correct?"
"Um…" Aegis thought over the wording for a moment. "Y…yes, that's what I meant."
"Thank you" Alexis nodded, "And when you say Mrs. Noble was 'defensive' of Jack, you mean…"
OBJECTION!
"I know I shouldn't be doing this," Chancellor interrupted, "but would the defense refrain from asking questions just to clarify the definition of words? I'd like to progress far enough to break for lunch!"
"Objection sustained" Scotty nodded, banging his gavel. "Ms. Lexington? Do you have any questions concerning the murder?"
Alexis flushed, and bit her lip. "I… don't, actually… but" she straightened up. "I don't think that this testimony, authentication, or demonstration is what we need right now." She stomped on the floor, and puffed her chest out. "Ms. Aegis! Can you give any testimony that relates to the night of the murder?"
"Well… yes, actually. I can, Miriam" Aegis smiled.
"It's Triplex!" Alexis screamed, the shrillness causing the entire audience (except for DuClaw) to cringe and clutch their ears. "And…wait…" she slumped over, just realizing what Ms. Aegis has said. "You… you can?"
"Yes" Tanya nodded sharply, smiling. "The witness has also come prepared to testify about the night of the murder." She flicked her hair back and grinned. "Moore specifically, she can testify about the timeframe in which the murder occurred, and that Mr. Culligan did indeed enter the room during that time period!" She frowned. "Even if that is glaringly obvious…"
INTERJECTION!
"Just because Mr. Culligan was in the room with the dead body doesn't mean that he was the murderer! THE TWO ARE NOT SYNONYMS!"
Chancellor smiled, and tapped Alexis lightly on the shoulder. "That was the first worthwhile objection you've raised today. Nice work."
Alexis flushed bright red, but whether out of embarrassment or anger, it was unclear.
SMACK! Rang the dictionary as it caved in Chancellor's head.
…Yeah. It was probably anger.
"Murder in the first degree…." Chancellor mumbled as he crawled back up.
Aegis shook her head, probably in disbelief that these two were among her firm's best and brightest, and began her testimony.
"Last night, from around 9:30 until around 10:00, Gill and I talked on the deck of the ship. Then he excused himself, saying specifically that he had to go speak with Mrs. Noble." She shrugged her shoulders. "And we all know that he was there at around the time when the death occurred, so…well, yeah, that's about it."
"Thanks, TripleA" Scotty said with a nod. "Ms. Lexington? Did you want to…"
PROTESTATION!
"I'll take that as a 'yes, affirmative, right-o'" muttered Scotty, blowing at the front of his hair.
"Ms. Aegis!" Alexis said; chest puffed out even farther, "the autopsy report gives a very wide range for the time of death! Between 9:00 and 10:00 I believe…"
"9:30 to 10:30, in fact, mademoiselle" Ben corrected patiently. "But it is only a murder trial, who cares about details?"
"That would have been such a good burn if he knew how to burn people," Chance whispered to Culligan.
"RIGHT!" Alexis said, a smile forming on her face. "Ms. Aegis, you only saw Mr. Culligan for a small fraction of this time span!"
"HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY SAY, CERTAINLY, POSITIVELY, WITHOUT DOUBT, THAT MR. CULLIGAN WAS IN THE ROOM AROUND THE TIME OF MRS. NOBLE'S DEATH??"
"Because I saw her too…" Ms. Aegis said before Alexis' outburst could cause a 'murmur murmur' scene. "Mrs. Noble I mean, I saw her before she died."
Alexis stood for a moment, mouth agape, and then slumped over. "You… you did?"
"Of course she did" Tanya commented, rolling her eyes. "I didn't bring her in simply to theorize about motives and track Mr. Culligan's whereabouts." She stretched slowly. "No… I never trained to become a defense attorney… I wouldn't know anything about calling pointless witnesses."
"Isn't it being uncomfortable to be crossing your legs all the time, laddie?" asked Culligan.
Chancellor shifted slightly in his seat, and looked up sharply. "Huh? Oh, no, I sit like this all the time. It helps me concentrate" Chancellor replied, nodding his head quickly. Well… it's true enough, I suppose.
Culligan raised an eyebrow, gave a hearty, but silent, chuckle, and leaned back in his chair.
"This whole…" Scotty leaned his head over the back of his chair, waving one hand in a circle in the air "seeing Mrs. Noble thing is probably important, so…" He wrenched himself upright suddenly. "You should probably testify Moore to that effect, TripleA."
Aegis nodded. "Alright then, I'll…"
INTERRUPTION OF CONVERSATION!
"I'm sorry…" Alexis apologized. "It's just, your honor, you use the modifier 'probably' twice in a row." She cocked her head to the side. "It annoys, bothers, and irks me. Perhaps next time, you could say… 'Possibly?' or… 'almost certainly?'… It would just… I mean…" She bit her tongue, as Scotty was looking down on her with narrow, slit-like eyes.
Miriam: Half-wit, moron, idiot, or simpleton? YOU decide.
"You should probably stop talking now, ok, Miriam?" Scotty seethed. He cleared his throat, and adopted (temporarily) a professional tone of voice. "TripleA, if you would continue… or restart… it's more like 'begin to begin with' actually…" He sighed and shook his head. "Oh, just testify for Pete's sake."
"Yes, your honor" Aegis nodded with a smile."
"Well, you see, I told you that Culligan left me at around 10:00, right? Well, I had that moment where, when you finish talking with someone after a long conversation, you immediately look for someone else to keep talking to… you know what I'm talking about, right? Anyway, I looked up at the balcony, and I saw Ms. Aegis walking around. She walked out of my sight shortly after, but I'm absolutely sure it was her." She thought for a moment, and then nodded firmly. "Positively sure."
Chancellor's bottom lip trembled, and he made a soft, almost indiscernible whining sound.
"You're not still being broken up over Mrs. Noble's dying now, are yeh?" Culligan asked, elbowing Chance in the ribs.
"It's not that…" Chancellor whispered, rubbing his ribs in pain and trying to contain himself. "It's just… the first major contradiction just popped up… and it's so glaringly obvious…" He chuckled. "Heh, glaringly, I like that. Anyway, it's so obvious and I just want to sing 'objection' at the top of my lungs but…" He looked across the courtroom. "I can't. And, I don't expect you to sympathize with me, seeing as if I was in your place, I'd want my defense attorney to scream objection at every small inconsistency he could find, but…"
"It's being about her, right?" Culligan asked, pointing across the room at Tanya.
"Yeah" Chance said with a quick nod.
"I'm understanding completely, laddie." Culligan said with a smile. "Let's just be hoping that one of the other's is bright enough to catch on."
-
It's time to make this interactive! What do you think is the contradiction? It could be from any part of Mrs. Aegis' testimony, and could concern anything that's been introduced in the story so far (remember, there's a reason for four introductory chapters.) Also, which attorney do you think will catch the contradiction, or will they at all? Oh, Barnaby, we'll get an adventure out of this yet!
Author's note corner: (Those of you only here for the story, feel free to run away screaming.)
I have been remiss in giving the answers.
The answers to what you ask? The answers to Chapter… nine's? Name that song reference quiz! Therefore, I shall reveal them now. There were eight songs, all different.
'Forget it' by Breaking Benjamin
'Dead on Arrival' by Fall Out Boy
'My Old Friend' by Tim McGraw
'Are You Gonna Be My Girl' by Jet (which, incidentally, could be the Chancellor Moore theme song. Just saying.)
'Yellow Submarine' by the Beatles
'Nothin' to Lose' by Josh Gracin
'Moment in Time' by Cherish
'Love You Out Loud' by Rascal Flatts
These were worth… 50 points each, cause some of them were pretty obvious. Partial credit is given this time.
As for the next challenge, Noble hasn't been saying much, so it's all the chapters up until this point. Have to disclaim them somehow right?
And now for something completely different.
Character In-Depth: Tracy Spade.
He's been here since the beginning, and he's never gotten his own in-depth section! What's up with that?
Even though he's the police force contact, he doesn't have all that big a part, does he? Something I should try and remedy, as he really is a loveable character.
Interesting fact: Even though I've actually drawn him out, and I know exactly what he looks like, I still can't help but picture Gumshoe whenever I write about him. Kind of like how I associate Liam with Ema Skye… I don't know why, it's just weird. Anywho…
Q+A! WOOHOO! :
I've wanted to know this since the beginning! MIDDLE NAME! : He doesn't have one. Not everyone does, and Tracy is one of the people who don't. It's that simple.
Oh yeah? Well what's his favorite… : He doesn't listen to music. Between working on homicides and doing kid's birthday parties, he only has time to read the paper. He uses the radio to get news and listen to football.
Football huh? What's his team? : Same as mine, the Jets. New York is the most amaxing state in the union, after all; I don't care what you say.
Has football changed at all in the time of Chancellor Moore? : Not really a Spade question, but… yeah. Washington D.C. has a team now: the Cherries. They're not bad… but they aren't good either.
Where did Spade learn ventriloquism? : College? I mean, where do you learn that kind of thing?
How old is he? Really? : How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That's right: The world will never know.