A/N So I'm sorry it took me so long to put this up, but I've fallen behind in my three stories. I promised I would give a warning for every chapter that has rape. And this chapter has rape. I put a warning in before it happens.

Hotch looked like hell. His suit was rumpled, his eyes were bloodshot and had dark bags under them. His hands had a small but noticeable twitch to them, the caffeine flowing through his system, one of two things keeping him awake, was having an adverse affect on his body.

He wouldn't leave though, the other thing that was keeping him awake, the guilt wouldn't leave him. It haunted him, drove him to look over every detail of the case over and over again. He was riding the team hard, somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that. He knew he needed to back off. But he couldn't. He had to find her. He had to save her. He couldn't lose her. He loved her. You save the ones you love right?

Right?

Except I don't. I lost Haley. I couldn't save her. I couldn't stop a mad man from ending her life. Can I really stop this guy? Can I save her?

He slumped down on the floor. And pulled his knees into his chest, wrapped his arms on the tops of his knees, and laid his head down on the tops of his arms. He had nothing left. She was gone, and he couldn't get her back. He was failing her. Just like he had failed Haley.

A tear escaped from his eye, and started its solitary journey down onto his sleeve.

The team didn't bother him. They knew he was at the end of his rope. There was nothing they could do for him. The only thing that would help was Emily home safe and sound. But as much as they hated to admit it, they weren't any closer to finding her. They needed him to make a mistake. They needed to get lucky.

They were all on edge. Why did this keep happening to them? First Reid, then Emily and Reid, then Foyet. What was it about their lives that attracted the crazies?

/

The first thing she noticed as she came back to consciousness was the pain. Blinding pain. Pain throughout her body, but she could feel it the most in her face and ribs. Especially as she took a breath. She winced and put her hand protectively across her side.

The next thing she noticed was his presence. Without opening her eyes she could him staring at her. She could feel his gaze on her. She felt sick. She was helpless, she knew it. She couldn't stop it, she leaned over the bed and emptied the contents of her stomach. She wiped her face with her hand, leaned up, and looked at her kidnapper. "That's what you do to me. That's the effect you have on me."

"You ruined it. All of it. Our love was so beautiful, and now it's ugly. It's all your fault. And now you're going to pay!" He left the room and slammed the door behind him.

Real smart Emily. Poke the bear. Brilliant. They should teach that tactic at the Academy. She lay back down and culred up into herself. She knew what her body language projected, scared and vurnerable, but she didn't care. It lessened the pain slightly. And right now that was all that mattered.

/

This isn't right it wasn't supposed to be this way. She was supposed to love me. What happened? Why doesn't she love me? ... It's him. He turned her against me. He filled her head with lies. He poisoned her. I have to kill him. Then she'll love me. Then she'll come back to me. Then she'll be mine forever.

/

Hotch sat slumped against the walls outside of the FBI Aacademy. A cigarette burning in his right hand. He occasionally absently took a drag. His mind didn't seem to register that he was smoking. It was a million miles away. It didn't matter that he had quit smoking years ago. Today he needed a cigarette. All that mattered was surviving the day and getting Emily back. The rest was inconsequential.

He was out there to recover. To get back the strength and the will to fight. To dig deep so he could save the woman he loved. To do that he needed to beat back the depression and the hopelessness that he was feeling. But it was a losing battle, all he could see was Emily's dead body. That image haunted him, and he couldn't escape it. There was a very real chance that they wouldn't find her. And that was too much for him. He flicked away the cigarette.

He was so lost in his sadness and pain that he didn't notice the man that was approaching him. He didn't take note of the man until the man had gotten to close and had kicked him. Hotch ducked at the last second so the blow only glanced of his head, but still he saw stars. He managed to roll away from his attacker and rose on shaky legs. He stood facing the man that was screaming at him.

"It's all your fault. You took her away from. You poisoned her. I'm going to kill you."

What is he talking about? Who did I take away from him? Hotch studied the man standing before guy was over 6', not thin, but not muscle bound, sturdy looking. He had brown hair.

The man threw a right hook. Hotch leaned back and turned sideways his right shoulder back. The man's fist harmlessly flew past Hotch's face. Hotch threw his right arm forward the momentum adding more force as his fist connected with the attacker's face. The man grunted and staggered back.

"It's your fault she doesn't love me. You made her forget. Does your boss know what you've done with her? Do they know you sleep with her?"

Emily. He's talking about Emily. He's the guy that has Emily.

The man lunged forward as Hotch started to draw his gun. They went down together they man punching Hotch in the face as the gun cleared the holster. The man grabbed Hotch's wrist and they struggled with the gun. It fell from Hotch's hand and skittered away. The man punched Hotch again, his momentum almost carried him off Hotch. Hotch recovered and punched the man. The man staggered back Hotch lunged for his gun. The man turned and ran away. Hotch grabbed his gun, and whirled to level the gun on his captor. But the man was already gone. Hotch ran out of the alley, but the man had disappeared.

Fucking A. I had him. He was right there. And I let him get away. Dammit. I'm going to find you you bastard. I'm going to find you and kill you. I've seen your face. You can't hide forever.

Hotch walked back into the bullpen. The team met him.

JJ moved forward and lifted her hand, but stopped just short of the cut on his face. Concern filled her face and voice. "Hotch what happened to you?"

"He came here. The UnSub who took Emily. He came here."

"Why would he do that?"

"He said something about, I took her away from him. I poisoned her against him. He said he was going to kill me."

"So he's obssessed with her. And he's eliminating people that are threats to him. People she loves, until all that remains is him." Dave commented aloud.

"I think so. Garcia I need you to find anyone who ever had a relationship with Emily. He said something about her forgetting, but it wasn't all delusional. I think they had a relationship even if it was one-sided. I think he's done this to Emily before."

"I'm on it boss man."

/

Emily slowly woke up again. Her throat was dry. She tried to create some salivia in her mouth, but she didn't have a lot; it wasn't enough. She moved to get off the bed, but pain shot through her body the second she moved. She stilled, and the pain subsided a little. Ok mental note don't move. Stay still. At least ... what is his name again? John ... Jimmy ... Jared his name was Jared. At least he's been gone for a while. I need water, now matter how much it hurts. She braced herself for the pain. She slowly, glacially slowly, sat up. Her head swam, she drifted in and out of awareness. She repeated everything once again when she stood up. Ok that was fun. She looked around the room. In a corner there was a glass of water. Now let's try walking. She walked towards the water, as she walked the pain lessened slightly. She slowly picked up water and took a small drink. She continued to slowly sip the water until the glass was empty.

She slowly put the glass down, she was feeling a little better. The pain wasn't quite as bad. Now let's get out of here. She took a look around the room. It was exactly like her old bedroom, down to the last detail. But that didn't help her. She moved towards the door. She tried to open it, but it was locked. Damn that would have been nice. She took another look around the room. She noticed a painting. That's not ... She moved towards the painting. Oh my god it is. Where did he get this? She was looking at her favorite painting from when she was a kid. It didn't have a name, it was done by a street artist she found when she was in Paris. As she stared at the painting she heard the door slam. He's here.

A few moments later he opened the door. He had some cuts and bruises on his face. What happened to him?

"I found your boyfriend." He spat.

Oh god Aaron. Please no. Not that.

"Now your mine forever."

(A/N This is the section with the rape.)

He came at her quick. He grabbed her and threw her on the bed. She gasped in pain. He slowed down. He put his hand tenderly on her face and stroked her cheek. "I did this for us. So we could be together. So it could be like it was."

"Like it was. We had one kiss 20 something years ago. It wasn't any grand thing. We were kids."

"NO! We loved each other. And we will love each other again." He leaned down and pressed her lips to his. She tried to move away. But his hand kept her head in place. He leaned back. "I'm sorry I hurt you before. I don't want to hurt you."

"Then let me go."

"I love you. I'll take care of you. Your Agent Hotchner couldn't take care of you. I would never let something like this happen to you." As he spoke his hand moved from the bed and moved over her shirt up her body.

She tried to move her body away. "Do you hear yourself? You say you would never let something like this happen to me. But you are doing this to me."

"I love you and you love me. I know you do. You've just forgotten. But don't worry I'll help you remember." He grabbed her shirt and pulled it off her body.

A surge of adrenaline kicked in and she punched him. It didn't have a great effect, on her back she her punch didn't have a lot of power.

He jabbed her in the side. She cried out and curled up. "Stop fighting me. Stop fighting us. I don't want to hurt you."

She knew what was coming. She couldn't get away this time. This time she was trapped. She could feel it all. His hands on her body as they explored. There were large and cumbersome. His mouth and tongue felt wrong the wet salivia hung on her body. She had never thought about it, but it felt disgusting now. He stripped her of her clothes. But it wasn't harsh and violent like last time, it was almost tender. He was trying to make love to her. She gasped in pain when he entered her again. She wasn't healed yet.

"I'm sorry. I'll try to be gentle." Every movement he made hurt her. Tears filled her eyes, but she wasn't going to cry. She was not going to let him see her cry.

It lasted forever. It seemed to never end. Eventually his movements became frantic and his breathing shallow. Finally he finished. He looked down at her face.

"Was that good for you?"

A/N So I'm not getting a lot of response from people. Are you guys still reading the story? Cause If you're not, I'm going to let myself slow down. I've got three stories going, and the reason I was able to post so consistently was I had several chapters written before I posted. Well I'm now caught up. So if no one's reading. I'm not going to worry about going slow. But if you are reading thank you from the bottom of my heart. Also if you skipped the rape not much happened, except that the guy wasn't violent like last time. This time he tried to make love to her. He was his version of sweet and gentle.