AN: I've had an epic computer fail, so I can't personally thank my reviewers this week. Sorry! But I hope you all got your review responses from me.
Thank you to babylopez2008 for pre-reading for me. She's super quick and I love her for it!
Enjoy...
Edward
I try to be patient and wait for Bella's quiet giggling to come to an end.
I'm not surprised that she's finally snapped. I was waiting for it. It was only a matter of time after telling her about the Quileute's legend. I'm glad I didn't go in to detail. Like I said, it's not my secret to voice to others. It's not that I want her around that boy, but it should be his place to tell her all of the missing details.
Bella stops laughing, and takes several slow and deep breaths. I watch the rise and fall of her chest, wondering what it must be like to feel your lungs fill with necessary oxygen. I know I can do it too, but it isn't the same. I don't need it to survive. If anything, it can get a little uncomfortable. For the majority of the time, I only breathe so as not to worry any humans who might notice. Then again, the act helps while trying to find prey when hunting.
Bella doesn't say anything. She just stares at me, taking in each of my facial features one at a time. When she reaches my eyes, she blushes when she realises I've been watching her scan my face.
"Hey," she begins, "I could have sworn…"
"What?" I ask hesitantly. Do I really want to know?
"Um, I thought you had golden eyes. I mean, it's hard to forget an eye colour like that," she explains.
Oh.
When did I last hunt? A couple of days ago, maybe? I guess being around Bella takes up a lot of my restraint and strength. Perhaps I should start hunting daily, but then wouldn't that imply that she wants me to be around? She hasn't told me that she does. I wouldn't blame her if she wanted nothing to do with me. If that were the case, I think I'd still find a way. I know I would want to anyway. I told her I would protect her. I can put my feelings aside and do just that… I think.
"Uh, yeah, they… change," I offer her the simplest explanation there is.
"Why?" She looks intrigued as she leans forward, bringing herself closer to me. I allow myself to inhale her scent and find pleasure in the pain it causes from the burn in my throat.
Yeah, I'm a masochist.
"Did they... did they just get darker?" she asks.
She's very perceptive.
And I'm suddenly feeling very thirsty.
Using my vampire speed, I get up and run to the window on the other side of the room. I open it to inhale the fresh air coming in from the outside.
"Oh!" I hear Bella exclaim after noticing my disappearance. "I guess I need to get used to that," she mumbles softly. I don't think I was meant to hear that last part though. I guess I should fill her in on some of the tendencies that vampires have, like super hearing for one.
Her admission brings a smile to my face.
"I'm sorry," I tell her. "I guess I just needed the air." I nod my head towards the open window.
"It's okay. Do you want me to stay over here?"
"Please."
I inhale deeply so that I can stop breathing but still be able to talk to Bella when I need to.
She nods and stays quiet. I close my eyes and wish the burning feeling away. I don't think I've ever produced so much venom before since meeting Bella.
After a moment, she begins to speak again, "Do your eyes change colour if you're, uh, hungry?"
Like I said- perceptive.
I nod, not quite able to speak just yet. I don't want to waste any more air. Then again, talking to Bella is never a waste of anything.
"Huh."
Bella stands up from the bed and walks slowly towards me. I don't tell her to stop even though I don't know what she's up to. It's like I crave her proximity even though it hurts me. I swallow the build-up of venom in my mouth.
"I should be scared," she starts to say as she reaches me, "but I'm not."
"You should stay away from me," I finally manage to admit.
The thought of her not wanting to be near me hurts more than the burning sensation I experience with every breath.
She looks down at the floor. Maybe I said that too harshly.
"I had planned to earlier," she admits. "I was going to distance myself from you and your family. But I think I'm beginning to realise that coming to this place has actually made my life more interesting."
"How can you say that?" I ask in anger. "You'll always be in danger when you're around me, Bella. You're prey to my kind. I could so easily…"
Don't think it, I tell myself. Don't think about her blood.
"What?" she asks when I don't continue.
decide to let her figure it out for herself.
"Ask me the most basic question. What do I eat?"
I hear and see her swallow. Is she scared yet, I wonder.
"I, uh…" She takes a deep breath. "I don't care."
Is she being serious? How is she not running in the opposite direction yet? I have a feeling I'll never understand this girl.
"How can you not care? I'm a killer, Bella! I've killed people before." It's true. She should know this stuff about me.
I have to wonder though, why am I trying to push her away from me?
"Are you going to kill me?" she asks me quietly.
"No," I reply just as softly.
She smiles at me, quickly followed by a yawn which she covers her mouth for.
"You're tired," I state. "You should sleep."
"I guess it's late," she replies as she turns around to look at her alarm clock. But from her tone, I can sense that she doesn't really want to sleep.
She slowly walks towards her bed and climbs in. "Don't go," she tells me when she sees my hand on the window ledge.
I hesitate for a millisecond before sitting on the edge of Bella's bed.
"Just until you fall asleep, then," I reply.
She nods and gets comfortable. She doesn't seem fazed this time by the speed that I use to move around.
"Tell me something?" she asks.
"Anything."
"How does it feel… to kill someone?"
I chuckle quietly. She never does what I expect.
Or maybe she was going to ask me something else but changed her mind?
"That's hardly bed time material, Bella," I try to make a joke of it.
"Sorry, it was the first thing I could think of," she shrugs as she stifles another yawn. She quickly asks me something else instead. "Why are you spending time with me? When we first met, it was like you couldn't wait to get away from me."
"You noticed that, huh?" I take a brief moment to collect my thoughts. I don't want to offend Bella in any way. "It's taken a while to try to get used to your scent. Honestly, it's still difficult for me… When I first saw you, I had to physically stop myself from getting any closer for fear of what I might have done to you. No one has affected me before in the way that you do." I hate admitting my weaknesses to anyone, but it feels like a relief to talk to her like this.
"Why do you think that is?" she asks me sweetly and inquisitively.
"My family has a couple of theories." I decide to omit them though. She doesn't need to know now that she could potentially be bound to me for the rest of her life.
Why does that sound like a death sentence?
I need to know that she wants that… wants me, before I put the idea in her head. I want it to come from her.
"You're not going to tell me?" she asks. Her words sound a little flirtatious to me. Perhaps that's just wishful thinking on my part.
"Not tonight. I think you've had a lot to deal with for one day," I tell her honestly. There's so much I could tell her.
She looks up at me as her eyelids begin to droop.
"What happens now?" she questions softly.
I breathe out a sigh, "I honestly don't know."
Bella
It's early when I open my eyes. I can tell because it feels like I hardly got any sleep. The light from the day break bathes my face. I guess Edward forgot to draw the curtains last night.
Edward!
I quickly sit up in my bed and scan the room.
He stayed.
I'm not sure why, but the fact that he did overshadows how tired I feel, replacing the emotion with happiness.
"Good morning," his velvety voice sings to me from across the room.
"Morning," I reply.
"What are you smiling about?" he asks me with a puzzled expression on his face.
"Uh, I'm just surprised that you're still here."
"Watching you sleep is fascinating to me," he admits.
I wonder…
"Do you do that a lot?"
He sheepishly tells me, "Only a couple of times."
I nod, pretending that that doesn't freak me out on some level.
It is a little creepy.
Why would someone like Edward waste his time with someone like me?
"What's wrong?" I hear him ask.
"Nothing," I shrug it off.
I can tell that he doesn't seem to believe me. He doesn't question me though. I'm grateful for that.
There's so much we need to talk about. I feel like I need to know more about him. Does that mean I want him around? My heart says, "Without a doubt", but my head is telling me that I need to be careful.
Maybe it's time to start following my heart?
How long ago was it that I last did that?
Edward
Bella spent some time getting ready, calling it a "human minute", after I asked her if she wanted to spend the day with me. She agreed immediately which in turn boosted my ego.
I didn't drive over to Bella's last night, so when she was ready to leave we ended up having to take her beast of a truck.
Her description, not mine.
"I'll drive," I call out as we walk towards her vehicle.
"No way, it's my truck," she retorts.
"Bella, your truck can't be safe. Just look at it. At least let me drive, I have perfect reflexes."
She relents and throws the keys in my direction. Her aim isn't fantastic, but at least my catching skills are.
Okay, that sounded a little conceited.
Never mind.
I drive us towards the main road. It's painful how slow her truck is. We don't make any conversation during our journey. I figure that Bella is trying to think of what she wants to say. I'm well aware that she must have some questions. The thought worries me, even more so because I can't hear them in her mind. I decide to let her have her silence. I just need to get through the next couple of hours. She might not want anything to do with me after that.
Bella doesn't question me when I pull up in a disused side road and turn off the engine. I quickly get out and open the door for her. She doesn't hesitate to get out of the truck.
"Unless you want to walk for a couple of hours, I figured you wouldn't mind if I ran with you on my back." I squat down on my knees a little and wait for her to make a move.
She doesn't take long to make up her mind. I immediately feel the warmth that her body provides when she wraps her arms around my neck. As I begin to stand, she also wraps her legs around my waist.
I take a moment to relish the feeling. It's been a long time since I felt this warm and comfortable. I can feel Bella's breath passing across the skin on my neck. If my body could produce goose bumps, I bet I'd be covered in them.
"You might want to close your eyes for this," I tell her.
I don't want her to experience motion sickness.
I begin to run. The feeling of running with Bella is indescribable. I almost don't want it to end. I've brought us to one of my favourite places. I found it all those years ago when my family first came to this area of America.
"You can open your eyes now," I say as I come to a stop.
I can feel her take a sharp intake of breath. She must have opened them.
"Wow," she whispers.
"Can you stand?"
She unwraps her legs from my waist as I lower myself towards the ground. When her feet make contact, she releases her grip around my neck. I miss the warmth immediately.
"I wish I had a camera," Bella says as she looks at the landscape before us.
"You won't need one with me around," I joke. She smiles at me in response.
I allow her a moment to take in the scenery. We're surrounded by a huge expanse of green grass and trees. Directly in front of us, we're greeted by the constant running water of the waterfall.
"It's so peaceful," Bella concludes after taking everything in. "Thank you for bringing me."
"It's my pleasure." At least, I hope it will be.
Bella scans the floor around us and chooses somewhere to sit. Luckily it hasn't rained for a couple of days so the ground is dry enough. I would have offered her my jacket if it was wet.
I sit down next to her so as not to block out her view of the water.
"So, is this the part where we talk?" she asks me.
"If you want to," I reply, trying to delay the inevitable.
"I want to; I just don't know where to start."
We sit for a moment in silence. It's not uncomfortable, but she must be struggling to think of something.
"I'll go first," I break the silence. "My name is Edward Cullen, and I'm a vampire," I joke.
She smiles sadly and looks me in the eye as she says, "My name is Bella Swan… and I don't know what I'm doing."
Neither do I.
Before I can say something, she adds, "No, I can do better than that. You admitted something huge to me; I can do the same… I want you to know me. I'm apparently recovering from an eating disorder as diagnosed by your father. Last week, when I first saw you… I was about to take an overdose. I miss my mom… every day. Do you want to run away yet?" she cries.
Oh, Bella…
I wrap my arm around her middle and pull her to me as she cries. I hug her as tightly as I dare to and relish in the warmth once again.
What? I'm really a selfish creature.
AN: Thoughts?
Next chapter- hopefully the big discussion, if my characters are feeling up to it!
Until next time...