AN: I really enjoyed writing this chapter, so I hope you get the same enjoyment from reading it.
Thank you to babylopez2008 for being my pre-reader. You've done a great job, as always!
Also, thanks to DreamOfTheEndless, traceybuie, ellaryne, yawsummer, juney83uk, khartgrove513, plbsmiles, and gettingnowherewithwords for reviewing.
Enjoy...
Bella
Why did I have to say that?
Today was supposed to be about getting answers from him, but instead I blurt all of that out. What must he think of me now? I guess this will teach me for trying to keep things to myself. It just became too much, like an information overload.
"I'm sorry," I say as I pull back from his embrace and wipe the underneath of my eyes with my fingers to get rid of the tears that have fallen there.
"Don't be," he tells me gently. He removes his arm from my waist and shuffles away from me slightly. I miss the contact already. "You can talk about your mom, if you want to. I'd like to think that you could share anything with me now, Bella."
I think about his offer.
"Maybe some other time," I reply.
Even though he now knows the basics of my life, however embarrassing some of it is, I'm just not ready to share it with him right now.
He gives me a smile in return.
"Is that why you've been so quiet today?" he asks me, looking into my eyes. "I just assumed you were thinking things over. The last day has been difficult for you. I just want to help make this as easy as possible for you."
I shrug and answer honestly, "I guess I've just got a lot on my mind."
His smile is quickly replaced with a frown. Did I say the wrong thing?
"What is it?" I ask reluctantly, afraid that I've upset him somehow.
"I'm ready for you to know me, Bella. I think it's time," he replies after a moment of silence.
I want to know him too; at least, I think I do. I guess maybe I'm a bit hesitant to hear it though. After giving it some thought on the car ride over, I realised that I don't think I'm going to like what he tells me. Do I really want to know about his way of life?
Vampires are supposed to be the inhabitants of horror stories and all things gruesome. I have to say that I don't want to be a part of that. I was hoping for a simple life. I think I've had enough heartache to last me a lifetime.
Life was so much simpler twenty four hours ago.
Edward must notice something that he doesn't like in my expression.
"I'm scared," I admit to him quietly.
"Of me?"
I shake my head. He's done nothing but help me. How could I be scared of him?
"Of what you might tell me."
"That's fair," Edward mumbles. He looks towards the waterfall, as if contemplating what he wants to say next.
What he does come up with surprises me a little.
"How about a game of twenty questions?" he asks.
My eyes widen in surprise. That's definitely not what I was expecting.
He continues, "We can take it in turns to ask each other a question. I'm sure you have plenty for me. If there's something you can't or don't want to answer, then you can veto it."
That actually makes some sense. I agree to his idea.
"Who goes first?" I ask.
"Beauty before age," he jokes.
"Isn't the saying age before beauty?" I ignore that he just called me beautiful. It is just a saying after all.
Edward laughs once and says, "I guess you're right, but I'll still let you go first."
"How old are you exactly?"
He looks at me curiously and raises his right eyebrow. "Is that your first question?" he asks.
I nod and wait for an answer.
"I'm seventeen," he says seriously.
For some reason, I don't believe him. I mean, he looks older than seventeen, but it's not just that. Aren't vampires usually immortal in films and novels?
"Let me rephrase that," he says when he sees the look of confusion on my face, "I was changed into this at the age of seventeen. I will forever be stuck in this seventeen year old body."
"How did you know what I was thinking?" I ask, amused that he picked up on my line of thought.
"I didn't, I just assumed you had this Hollywood version of what it means to be a vampire in your head. Just so you know, we don't sleep in coffins, holy water doesn't affect us, and neither do crucifixes. Oh, and the same goes for garlic."
"Right..." I reply, not sure what else to say in response.
"You just used up two of your questions. Now it's my turn to ask you two."
I smile at him. I like this playful side of him. I haven't seen it before.
"Go ahead."
"What's your favourite colour?"
I was expecting something a little more difficult than that.
"Uh, I don't think I really have one. If I had to choose though, I think I'd go for something like gold."
Edward laughs quietly and says, "It sounds like you have expensive taste."
"Not at all," I'm quick to correct him.
"Why is it your favourite then?"
I look up into his eyes, and I'm immediately reminded of why it could be considered a preferred colour of mine.
"Your eyes were so dark last night," I hear myself say, obviously thinking out loud.
"Uh, yeah, I left you for about an hour while you slept. I thought it would be a good idea to hunt... You didn't answer my question though."
I can feel a blush creep onto my face.
"Ah," he starts, "Now you have."
"Uh... my turn?" I ask as I turn away from his gaze and back to the picturesque waterfall in the near distance.
"Your turn," he chuckles.
I take a moment to consider what my next question should be. There are so many to choose from. Which would be the next logical one to ask?
"Why do your eyes turn a golden colour after you feed?"
That's pretty rational right? I mean, we were talking about his eyes. It seems odd that they are either gold or black. Why not his natural eye colour? I'm assuming he either had blue, brown, or green eyes when he was human. I don't know of anyone else with his odd eye colour, apart from his family of course.
"Good question... humans don't usually come close enough to notice our eye colour. There's something about us that warns them to stay away, like their survival instinct kicks in. Not you though, it would seem. A vampire's eye colour can tell you what their diet consists of. The majority of my kind have red eyes."
"Why red?" I ask intrigued.
"They feed from humans," he states simply.
"Oh," I say as I feel my face turn pale. So, red eyes equal human blood drinkers? I don't think I'll be forgetting that fact in a hurry.
I shake my head of the thought. "And you don't? I didn't know that was an option," I continue.
"I haven't, not for a long time. My family and I consider ourselves as vegetarians, because we only feed from the blood of animals."
"Huh." I don't actually know what to say to his answer. I have a feeling I'm going to spend a lot of today speechless in his presence.
Edward shakes his head, "You're taking all of this in really well. Are you going to have a nervous breakdown later when I leave you?"
"I sure hope not." I don't know if I said that because I don't want him to leave me, or in relation to the nervous breakdown. I don't think I want either to happen.
"Me too."
We're silent for a moment as I try to digest what I've been told.
I come to a conclusion.
"Why do you feed from animals? Why not humans?"
Edward sighs as he says, "I don't want to be a monster."
Well, that makes sense.
"Now, you owe me three questions," Edward continues when I don't say anything.
"Okay." His questions don't worry me.
"Question number one; favourite flower?"
Now it's my turn to chuckle. Why would he want to know that about me?
"Uh, daises I guess."
He nods and asks, "Two; do you have any hobbies?"
"I like to read, although I haven't really done that for a while, and um, play the piano." He knows about that second one though.
"Ah, yes. You play really well," he compliments me.
"Thanks," I reply, even though he's probably just saying it to be kind. It's been too long since I've played for anyone. "My mom used to love listening to me. She would even sing along if she knew the song, although she wasn't the best singer. Her encouragement made me strive to be better, especially as she struggled to find the money for my lessons. I made sure to learn the songs that I knew she would love to hear."
"You can use my piano anytime you like."
Edward
It's the least I could do, to offer her that. Maybe that way she will spend some time with me after I've answered all of her questions.
"You have one more question," Bella reminds me.
I really want to know as much as possible about Bella. I have a feeling that there's only so much that she's willing to say though. I can't push her too far.
"I don't want to say the wrong thing, Bella, but I know about your mom." I stop when I hear her gasp. I reach out and she lets me hold her hand. I think that we could both do with the connection. "Esme didn't betray your confidence, I promise you that, but as a vampire we have certain... qualities that humans don't."
"Like what?" she whispers.
"Like perfect hearing. I don't even have to concentrate to hear what's happening around us."
"Oh... so you heard what I told her? You all did?"
"Yes, I'm sorry for that."
She shakes her head and says, "Don't apologise for something that you can't control."
She's so understanding, I still don't understand how she's taking this all in and not having some sort of panic attack.
"What else is there?" she asks me softly.
"Well, you know about our speed and the fact that we don't sleep. All of our senses are heightened when we're changed. You probably also know that we're strong, stronger than anything else out there. We're designed to kill, Bella. We have an arsenal of things at our disposal to help with that, including everything I've just told you. There are some of my kind that have... other abilities though."
I squeeze her hand as gently as possible. I want her to know that she can ask me if she wants to know what I mean by that. I don't think I could keep anything from her at this point.
"Abilities..." she tries the word out after a moment. "Do you mean, like, superhero stuff?"
I laugh.
"No?" she continues. "What then?"
"I'm sorry for laughing," I say when I realise I might have made her uncomfortable. "It's not often that I'm compared to a superhero. I've certainly never thought of it like that. When I say abilities, I mean that certain members of our kind that were gifted in their human life bring it with them into their afterlife."
"Right... Do you have a... gift?"
I nod my head.
"What is it?"
"I can... read minds," I say slowly.
"Holy crow, are you serious? Have you been reading mine?" she asks me quickly.
"No, Bella. I can read minds, but I can't read yours. From the moment I first saw you I haven't been able to."
She thinks about what I've said for a long couple of seconds, and surprises me with her next question, "Is there something wrong with me?"
"Absolutely nothing," I answer honestly. I want to tell her how perfect she is, but I stop myself from doing so.
"Then why?"
"I don't know, none of us do. It's almost the same for your father. I can't hear what he thinks, but I can get a general tone and mood from him."
Bella takes a deep breath and returns her gaze to the waterfall. I keep my eyes on her, wary that at any moment she could decide to run. I wouldn't stop her from doing so. I couldn't stop her from doing something that she wanted.
"You said that certain members of your kind have an ability," Bella says, keeping her gaze from mine. "Who else does?"
"Jasper has the ability to sense your emotions and manipulate them, and Alice has premonitions."
"She can see the future?" she exclaims as she looks back at me.
"Yeah, um, but the future can change. Her visions are subjective that way. If someone changes their mind, then their future also changes."
I don't want there to be any secrets between us, so I decide to tell Bella the whole truth.
"The day that you first saw me... through the window?" She nods in recognition. "Alice had a vision where your future suddenly disappeared..."
I can't bring myself to say the word 'suicide', so I stop there, hoping that she'll see where I was heading.
She does after a moment. The hand I was holding escapes from my grasp and she raises it to cover her mouth.
"No," I hear her say.
I nod and keep quiet. I give her the moment that she needs to organise her thoughts.
"I have so much to thank you for," she whispers.
"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.
"You keep saving me. If you hadn't have turned up that day, I would have gone through with it. You being there distracted me. You made me think about what I was doing. But I'm just so... embarrassed that you saw me like that."
Bella lowers her head into her hands, shaking it from side to side.
"You don't need to thank me." I take my own deep breath. It's now or never, I suppose. "Bella, you mean so much to so many people, me included. I didn't realise it was going to happen back then, but you've become a huge part of my life. It's like I don't even remember what my life was like before you." She lifts her head from her hands and looks at me with unshed tears in her eyes. "If something were to happen to you, I honestly don't know what I would do."
"...But I'm nothing. I'm not important. I'm a human."
It upsets me that she thinks of herself in that way. I need to make her see the truth.
"You are everything to me," I tell her honestly.
Her lips part slightly in shock.
I hope I haven't said too much.
AN: Thoughts?
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