A/N So this chapter is the first of many booms about to lowered onto poor Emily's head. Enjoy seems like the wrong word when describing this chapter. Also a side note, I looked back over the story, and realized I made a mistake. Emily was shot in the shoulder, thus it would follow her left arm is in a sling. So I put that in this chapter, and she's had a sling the whole time.

The silence woke her. It was oppressive. It scared her. She sat up and looked at Aaron sleeping in the chair near the bed. She didn't want to wake him. He needed sleep. After everything he had gone through, he needed to rest, to heal.

She moved slowly through the eerily quiet house. She glided down the hallway on her toes trying desperately to be quiet. Fear crept into her heart. There was no reason to be afraid, but the shadows in the silent and dark house now held monsters. And she couldn't push the fear away.

A small hand touched the back of her leg. Emily screamed in fear, whirled to dace her assailant, and jumped back ready to defend herself.

Instead of an attacker she saw only a little boy now scared because of her actions. She collapsed onto the wall and sank to the floor both in exhaustion and pain. Now that the adrenaline was leaving her system, the pain her body felt at its sudden call to action was becoming a very big problem. She turned a tired head to Jack and shakily lifted her right arm and beckoned the scared little boy into her arm. Her left arm was still in the sling.

"It's OK, baby. I'm OK. It's OK."

Hotch ran into the hallway and stopped short when he saw that Emily was OK. He could see that Emily had scared Jack, so he stayed silent so they could have a moment.

Jack tentatively stepped forward and hugged Emily. Emily's arms pulled him into her tightly and lightly stroked his back. "It's OK, baby. It's OK."

"Daddy said to be quiet cuz you were sleeping. I didn't mean to scare you."

Emily continued to stroke his back. Hotch came forward and put his hand on Jack's back. "Hey, buddy. Let's go to your room, OK?"

Hotch walked away with Jack. When they entered the room, Jack turned to his father and asked, "Did I do something bad, Daddy?"

Hotch lowered himself so he was at eye level with Jack and smiled. "No, Buddy. You didn't do anything wrong. Emily's ... ... She's going through something. We have to be very careful around her. Don't surprise her, and make sure that she's sees you before you touch her, OK?"

"Is she OK, Daddy?"

"She's going to be fine. Now play with your toys and I'll come get you when dinner is ready."

Hotch slowly came back into the hallway. Emily was standing and staring unfocused at the floor. Hotch cleared his throat loudly, hoping that he didn't scare her. Emily's eyes slowly came up and locked in with Hotch's.

She couldn't see him clearly through the tears in her eyes.

He slowly moved towards her. Very slowly. He kept his hands in front of him in plain sight. He stopped in front of her. He didn't touch her. He didn't want her to confuse his touch with the touch that she had just relived. If she wanted his touch, she would touch him, or tell him. For now, he would stay by her side and be a comforting presence.

Emily didn't react to Hotch standing near her. All she could see, all she could feel, was Jared. She could feel HIS hands on her, HIS touch, what HE felt like inside of her. She broke the silence, "I can feel him ... on me."

There was nothing that could be said, so Hotch stayed silent and let her continue.

"He told me he loved me. ... That everything he did was to prove his love for me. ... ... I met him years ago, his family worked for mine. ... when I was a teenager. We were kids. It wasn't dating. It only lasted a couple of weeks, but ... it ended badly. It was a bad time for me. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted. He couldn't let go. Eventually his family was let go. I had forgotten him.

"I fought back. I did. But he was too big ... too strong. ... I couldn't beat him. I, I wasn't strong enough. I failed."

"You didn't fail. It's not your fault. You did everything you could."

She heard Hotch's words, but they didn't register. They didn't sink in. Her mind recognized them for what they were and discarded them. "I'm a federal agent. I have training. I should have been able to take him down."

"The guy had six inches on you and at least a hundred pounds. You're not a martial arts expert. You have combat training, sure, but there a lot of, MALE agents that would have lost a fight to him. Training isn't a cure-all. It doesn't guarantee victory."

...

"I hate feeling like this. I know what this is. I've seen enough rape victims to know what's happening to me ... but I can't shut this off. I can't stop feeling this."

"You can't shut off emotion. Not emotion this strong. No one can. We're human, not Vulcan."

Emily smiled a sad smile for half a second.

"It's going to take time. ... You should think about talking to a professional. The Bureau's going to want you to, anyway. If you do it soon, then you can pick who you want. I'm going to be here every step of the way." He wanted to hold her in his arms. To show her that he loved her. To comfort her. But he wouldn't. It was going to have to be her decision when she wanted to touch again. She needed to feel in control. Jared had taken that away from her. And she needed it back. So he was going to leave it up to her.

They stood in silence for what felt like hours.

"You need to eat something. You need to take the medicine the doctors gave you, and you can't do it on an empty stomach."

Hotch could see the distaste on her face at eating something. "You need to eat something. What about toast?"

She gave a tired nod.

They walked into the kitchen and Hotch pulled the bread out of the bag and put it in the toaster. "You need to clean the gunshot would and change the bandage. I put the stuff you'll need in the bathroom."

Emily smiled in thanks.

After eating Emily stood up and turned to the bathroom. She paused for a moment. "Thank you, Aaron. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"No thanks are needed. I love you. I am going to be here for you every step of the way." He picked up her plate and took it into the kitchen.

Emily stood silently in the bathroom looking at the medical bag filled with the equipment necessary to help her heal. She wanted to do this on her own. She needed to do this on her own. She needed a win. Aaron had seen it. That's why he told her where this stuff was. That's why he didn't offer to help. She needed to do it on her own.

This is going to hurt. She grabbed the bottom of her shirt and slowly lifted the shirt up. A wave of pain cascaded through her body, momentarily stopping her progress. She gritted her teeth and continued her movements. After an agonizing couple of minute she got the shirt over her head and resting on the sling. She tenderly removed the bandage.

The wound was ugly. It marred her skin. She began to wash the wound. She let out a hiss as every stroke brought new and cumulative pain. When it was finished, and a new bandage had been applied, she stumbled into the bedroom. She collapsed onto the bed.

Her last conscious thought was, "Next time, I'm letting Aaron help with the bandage."

A/N Poor Emily. Review let me know what you think. Do it. Do it now. Right now. Come on let's go.