AN: This has been pre-read by the lovely babylopez2008. She's also agreed to be the beta for my future fic, which has made me very happy.

Talking of my next fic, it now has a title- The Long Walk Home. The prologue has been written. I want to spend some time writing and researching the idea some more before posting. Hopefully I'll be getting a banner for it too. I'll give you guys a summary nearer the time. Put me on author alert :)

Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless, ellaryne, timidvampire, traceybuie, IcarusToSun, Angel N Darkness, Solar571, sujari6, team jazper, Lister1777, hnwhitlock2000, khartgrove513, Humble4, thecryingdevil, kittycat1980, april666king, DutchGirl01, and Deleanna70 for all of your lovely reviews. I can't believe just how many I've gotten recently. It's thanks to you that I keep writing.

Twilight belongs to SM.

Enjoy...

Bella

I don't know what to think. There's so much going on in my head, but somehow I'm able to process it all easily.

I'm surrounded by trees. Even if I closed my eyes, I would still know that. It's as if the gentle breeze bounces from each tree trunk, each branch, and each individual leaf, straight to my ear. And the smell... the dirt, the decay, the insects, the air, the fumes from the cars on the road a mile away, and Edward.

Edward... My feelings for him are so much stronger. It's intense. It would scare me if I didn't already know that he loved me. It's like there's some sort of bond between us that magnetically pulls my body towards his. I feel at peace when we touch, like this was where I was always meant to be.

I feel like I belong.

But there's something wrong. Ever since I woke up and was released from my burning inferno, he's been acting almost as if he's depressed. Have I done something to upset him? Does he not want me now that I'm different? Was he only interested in my blood after all?

And now he wants me to hunt. It feels as if he's trying to distance himself from me. I can tell by the pull I feel towards him, like the further away he is, the more pain I experience.

All of these emotions... I don't know how to cope.

"Bella, you're doing brilliantly," Alice tells me.

We're gathered in the woods approximately three hundred yards from the Cullen's house; Alice, Jasper, Edward, and I.

Alice wanted to come so she could predict if something bad were to happen. I think she also really wanted to be a part of my first hunt too. Jasper is here to keep me calm if I need it, and probably also to stop me if I get out of control. I'd like to think Edward is here because he can't stand to be away from me, but now I'm not so sure. We haven't really spoken since I tried to attack Alice.

But that smell... the blood... my blood.

My throat burns sharply at the reminder. Before I can consciously think about it, I can feel that my hand is already clutching at my neck.

"I think it's time," Jasper says, as he no doubt feels my discomfort.

I smile an apology to him. I'll have to be more careful of my emotions in future.

Edward remains static, staring off into the distance between the trees that face us.

He's starting to piss me off. The anger that I start to feel quickly replaces the longing to drink.

Old human Bella may have been able to contain it, but not the new version of myself.

"What is your problem?" I bellow in his direction.

"Me?" he asks quietly.

"You're the only one with an apparent problem here."

"We'll leave you to it," Alice says. "Jasper and I will go on ahead to see what we can find." She takes a hold of Jasper's hand and they run off together.

He finally turns to look at me when his siblings leave. His eyes hold so many emotions, but I think the main one is pain. I can't look at them knowing that I've caused that.

"I'm sorry," I tell him as I look away into the night.

"You're apologising to me?" he asks, sounding astounded.

He approaches me with vampire speed and cups my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him.

"Bella, I will spend the rest of my existence making this up to you. There are no words to tell you just how sorry I am."

"Why are you sorry?" I ask. I pull away from his grip on my face. "Don't you want me?"

I have to know. If he doesn't then I can leave. I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable. This is his family, not mine.

I can handle being alone.

Who am I kidding?

"How can you ask me that?" he questions as he runs his and through his hair.

I shrug, feeling every much the insecure teenager I am. That's a thought... I'm not going to age.

What is Charlie going to say? I need to see him. I need to explain.

My feet take me in the direction of my house before I even realise what I'm doing.

"Where are you going?" Edward shouts out after me.

"I have to see my dad. He needs to know I'm okay."

"Bella!" He calls out as he runs to catch me up, grabbing my arm and stopping me from continuing. "You can't."

I shrug him off easily.

"What do you mean I can't? Of course I can. He's my dad. How long have I been gone for anyway?"

"Four days."

"Four days? Is he okay? Does he know where I am? What does he think I've been up to? I have to go and talk to him now."

Edward moves to step in front of me.

"I'm sorry, but you can't. Bella, you're different. You've changed. He will notice and ask questions. Besides, you're forgetting that he's human. You aren't anymore. It's way too soon to test your restraint. You only just woke up. You haven't even fed yet."

"My restraint? You think I could kill my father?"

"Of course not; not intentionally anyway. But when you catch the scent of blood, that's all you'll focus on. It happened earlier with some dried blood on your old shirt. Alice had to remove it from the room for you to snap out of it."

He's right. I couldn't put my father's life at risk like that.

"What does he know?" I ask quietly.

"He thinks you've run away."

"But... he knows me. He knows I wouldn't do that."

"Alice made it look like you did. She took some of your belongings. Charlie called here on the first day of your transformation. We basically confirmed that you wanted to leave Forks."

I can't believe what I'm hearing.

"You lied to my father?"

"It was for the best," he tells me, but it sounds like he doesn't even believe it himself.

"How is that for the best?"

"It was better than him believing you had died!"

We're both quiet for a few moments.

I notice my reflection in his eyes. My breath catches in my throat. Is that really me?

I lean towards him which enlarges the reflection of myself.

I actually look... pretty.

"You're stunning," Edward whispers.

It's then that I realise just how close I am to him. The anger that I felt a second ago was quickly replaced by shock, and now lust.

I can see he feels it too.

Our moment is interrupted by Alice. I can hear a dull thud of a dying heart beat.

"Bella, I think you're forgetting what we came out here for," she says.

I look at her to see that she's carrying a rather large deer over her shoulder.

How can someone that small carry something so big? It doesn't seem possible, but I suppose I'm that strong now too.

"Here's dinner," she says happily while taking the deer from her shoulder. It's then that I notice that she must have broken it's neck.

"What do I do?" I ask as I walk over to her and the deer offering.

"Whatever comes naturally," she replies.

I don't know what she means. I haven't done this before and the thought of drinking from a deer is repulsive.

Edward walks over when he notices my hesitation.

"Here," he says as he uses his nail to puncture the skin of the animal.

Then I smell it- the blood. It's not as appealing as the human blood I smelled earlier, but I would rather this than chase someone down. I couldn't have a death on my conscience.

I thought I'd feel self conscious when it came to feeding, but I let my instincts guide me. I breathe in the tangy scent of the liquid. I listen to the thud of the heart beat and the blood being slowly pumped through the animal's veins. I move of my own volition, and my lips find purchase on the skin of the deer. I don't think about what I'm doing. I bite into the skin and begin to drink. I can feel it cooling the burn in my throat. I can't get enough.

My hands grab on to the carcass as I sense someone approaching.

It's mine! No one else is having it but me.

"It's okay Bella, it's yours," a voice tells me. I can't find it in myself to pay too much attention to what they're saying. The fact that they're so close to my kill is making me angry.

"Let's back away for a minute," another voice says.

I know that voice. That voice makes me stop what I'm doing. The blood seems to have run dry anyway.

Rosalie.

In my shock, I pull away from the deer and straighten myself up.

"Rose, leave," Edward says angrily.

"Why should she leave?" I ask. What has she done?

"I was hoping I could talk to Bella."

"Why the hell should I let you anywhere near her?" Edward questions.

"Edward, why are you being so rude?" I ask.

He doesn't answer me, and instead glares at his sister.

"Now isn't the time," he tells her. "Go home; she'll talk to you there."

Reluctantly, Rosalie does as she's told.

"Is someone going to tell me what's going on?" I ask Edward and Alice.

Jasper joins us, although I can see he's hesitant about it.

"Have you had enough, Bella?" Edward asks, ignoring my earlier question.

I feel so confused that my appetite is soon forgotten.

"I'll go back home with Bella, if you like?" Jasper says. "We can always hunt again later."

I nod and walk over to him, leaving Alice and Edward behind. I can feel the bond between Edward and I straining, fighting to pull me back to him. It's too much too soon.

"Edward," I call out to him.

He's by my side instantly. Maybe he can feel what I feel.

"I'll take you back," he says as he grabs a hold of my hand.

We leave Jasper and Alice to their hunt and run home silently. Edward is fast, but I manage to keep up. The speed is exhilarating. I've never felt so free.

We reach the house and enter through the front door. I let go of Edward's hand.

"Um, you said Alice took some of my things from my room? Could I have them? I'd like something to change into."

"Of course," he replies. "Maybe you'd like to have a shower too?"

I nod.

"Bella, this is your home now too."

"I can't go home?" I ask quietly.

Edward sighs and shakes his head. "I'm sorry, but it's just too dangerous."

I don't reply. Instead I head upstairs to the bathroom next to Edward's room. I lock myself in, knowing that it's a redundant thing to do.

I turn on the shower as I hear a knock on the door.

"Your things are in my room. I'll leave you to clean up," Edward tells me.

I say a thank you as I hear him walk back down the stairs. I know he would have heard me anyway. This super human hearing has its perks. It's just something else to get used to.

A shower doesn't take so long when you don't really need to clean yourself. I watch the traces of dirt wash down the drain as I shampoo my hair. I guess I got more carried away than I first thought with that deer.

When I'm done, I wrap myself in a towel and head into Edward's room. He isn't waiting for me. Did I expect him to?

I go through my backpack that was packed by Alice and notice that it includes all of my favourite things. I pull on some jeans and a plain purple t-shirt and head downstairs.

He isn't waiting for me in the living room either, but Rosalie is. I cautiously move to sit beside her.

She doesn't say anything to acknowledge my presence.

"You wanted to talk earlier?" I ask quietly.

"I want to apologise to you," she eventually says.

"It feels like everyone does," I joke. "Why do you?"

"I ignored Alice's phone call on the day you were attacked. Of course, I didn't know exactly why she was calling, but I heard enough from her talk with Esme to know that it was to do with you."

I process what she's said. I can't help but wonder if she doesn't like me.

"Have I done something?" I ask.

She looks at me.

"It's my own issue," she answers. "We've never told another human about what we are for obvious reasons. But then you come along and get too close. Our family risked too much. Then Edward falls in love with you..."

"Are you... jealous? Isn't Emmett your mate?" I ask confused.

"Yes, he is. I love him. It's not jealousy, Bella. Carlisle created me for Edward, but he turned me down straight away. The only thing that I was jealous about was your humanity, and now you don't even have that."

"No, I don't."

"I'm sorry because I should have been there that day with Esme to help you."

"You don't need to apologise. I don't blame you for what happened to me. You shouldn't either."

She smiles sadly at me.

I continue. "At some point in the future, I would have asked for this life. I'm pretty sure that if Edward had the opportunity to become a human again, he would do it for me. I know that isn't possible, so this is the next best thing."

"I would have," Edward interrupts as he enters the room. He walks over to kneel in front of me. "I would do anything for you."

"I know. You saved me," I reply.

Rosalie quietly exits the room as Edward scoffs and shakes his head.

"No, I ruined your life. Maybe you'll see that one day."

I don't know how to get through to him. I don't know what to say.

Edward continues before I can. "You told me something in the woods that day. I need to hear it, Bella. I need to know it's still true," he pleads.

I rack my brain to think what he could possibly mean.

What was the last thing I said?

His name? No, that can't be what he wants to hear.

Oh, I remember.

"Edward, I love you."

He breathes a sigh of relief, stands up, and pulls me off the couch into an embrace.

"Thank you," he tells me. "Thank you."

Maybe he's starting to believe that we'll be okay.

AN: Until next time...