Part 7

"John," Lestrade inhaled, "I'm sorry..."

John sighed, "You're sorry? You haven't done anything."

"That's exactly it! I haven't done anything... Nothing. What use am I as a Detective Inspector if I haven't done anything?"

"Lestrade, don't say that-"

"My job surrounds horrors like this, lives are lost or ruined because of things like this... I've always managed to surpress myself, keep it low down... For the sake of the others," He sniffed, sitting himself next to John, "But now, I just can't... Not like this... I can't do it anymore!"

"Greg-"

"This has been going on for weeks, and I just let it slip under my nose... and it's my fault... I sent him there, out there after Harrington... And it was a trap, a trap set up for him..."

"Listen, please-"

"And I read those comments on your blog, and I ignored them, letting them pass, and only when you got that letter did I-" John grabbed his arm, silencing him.

"S-stop. This is madness... Don't put yourself down like this, Greg, how were you to know that this would happen? Ok, you're a DI, you're job is to help others. But if you didn't know, how are you s-supposed to help?"

"Says the one who drunk hims-"

"Don't." Lestrade froze, "Don't bring my problems into this. So, I got stupidly drunk, but I am never going to do that again. Ever. It won't help. It never has... Nor will this."

"Oh, god," Covering his face with his hands, Lestrade groaned, "John, I'm sorry.. Please understand... All this pressure, this guilt... It hurts... I can't, I can't do this, I-"

"Greg, calm down. We'll get through this, somehow-"

"Where do you get all this confidence from, John? How can you put up with it, with all this?"

"Before London, I was in the Army," Lestrade lowered his hands, blinking in amazement, "- as a Doctor on the frontline. Everyday I treated seriously wounded solidiers, comrades... friends. I just learnt to live with it, staying strong, focused... Being a doctor, you had to keep your feelings aside, hidden deep down, so you weren't distracted... You had to stay confident..."

"I can't imagine you being in the Army..."

He smiled, "I get that a lot."

"But this isn't... Afghanistan?" John nodded, "So what can we do?"

"We stay strong, stick together... and get help."

"Right, I-I'll try," Lestrade stood, "Oh, John... The video... I-"

"Don't, don't say anything about it. What's been done, is done. We can't change what happened, but only try and make things better..."

"Right, you're right..."

There was a moment silence as the two men stared blankly at the skull sat above the fireplace, both thinking deeply. John sighed once more, and moved to turn the kettle on.

"On your blog, you said you contacted someone... I can't remember wh-"

"Mycroft."