I'm so sorry for the late update.
I try so hard to update and think of a good story line,
But I've just started back at high school again from home school and it's hectic.
I don't have many friends there. I'm the loner.
So it's your reviews that actually make my day, so please leave this little loner some love.
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Author: xWrittenInBlood
The most amazing Beta: Destroyed Illusions
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"Fuck this hurts, I won't lie. Doesn't matter how hard I try.."
Bleed it Out - Linkin Park.
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Chapter Five.
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Sometimes the days were good.
You could skip through bright green, lush fields with rainbows in the sky, and pixies flying all around you. You could be loud, sing off tune, laugh and dance.
You could be happy.
Sometimes, most times, they weren't so good.
Those were the days were the thoughts of the blades came in. The want to trace beautiful patterns into your skin. Where the depression hit hard.
Where they would both unknowingly go to bed, sharing the same thoughts.
'I wish I wouldn't wake up in the morning..'
Sasuke, in a desperate search to find a way to vent, came across a shard of glass in the park. He ran the edge across his wrist in
experimentation. He tried to bleed his problems away. Maybe physical pain would numb the emotional pain.
Thus, he started an addiction.
He went to the park every night, and on those nights she didn't show...
He went for his second option.
To bleed it out.
Sakura's reasoning was closely related.
Shikamaru had started seeing this girl, Ino, who attended a prestigious girl's high school. She was tall, blond, beautiful, skinny and smart.
Everything Sakura wished she could be.
She had to prove she was better. She had to make herself thinner than Ino. To be beautiful, she had to be thin, to be thin, she had to not eat.
Shikamaru had only met her two weeks ago, and it was love at first sight. One of her best friends had been ripped away from her so easily.
She found the alcohol every night, the pot stashed in the pantry, a sharp little razor blade and the roof of her apartment.
Neji had tried to understand her problem. Fuck, he had lost his friend too. It was always Neji who would find her passed out on the roof, and carry her back to her apartment. He was living with her now, Shikamaru always had Ino around, and Neji begun to feel like the third wheel.
They had all slipped into such unhealthy habits.
Everything up until this point has all been an introduction. Now we're getting to the real thing.
The raw centre of it all.
Welcome to their fucked up, insecure and hated lives.
This is how some people live.
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"You know, you have Neji and I."
"Yeah, but for how long?"
She didn't know it would be cut so short.
She took another swig of the awful tasting liquid, it burnt her throat as she swallowed. But all she wanted to do was forget.
Forget that Shikamaru could be telling all her secrets to his 'true love'. Forget that she was so hurt by his disappearance. Forget she felt betrayed. Forget what she was forgetting about.
Fuck, she needed something stronger.
This wasn't helping her forget. Not. At. All.
Was he ashamed of them? Is that why she had only met Ino once?
Had Ino turned Shikamaru against them?
Gah! Why did she even care?
He was gone, and that was life.
Wasn't it?
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His mother left him some space. Let him do whatever he pleased.
She waited for him to come to her, so they could talk. So they could be a family.
But he hadn't said a word.
His father still hadn't come home, and his brother was away. Nobody knew where.
Sakura.. He hadn't seen her for a while.
Didn't know where she was. She never came to school. Nor did Neji or Shikamaru. But Suigetsu had told him that Shikamaru ditched Sakura and Neji for a girl.
He never thought that the genius would make such a foolish mistake.
The only time he ever saw Sakura was if Neji was carrying her passed out form to her apartment.
He didn't stalk them. He just... Followed them.
Neji's sharp eyes had picked him up in the darkness, and he was questioned immediately. But all Sasuke wanted to know about was her safety.
She had so many issues, why should he plague her with his own problems and create a more hectic life for her?
He could just suffer in silence.
He glared at the wooden desk in his room, a knife angrily stabbed through its surface.
He walked towards it, eyes never leaving the shiny surface. The metal gleamed as a ray of light shot toward it, making the blade all the
more enticing.
His fingers curled around the sharp edges, he closed his eyes.
'Sakura..' He breathed a sigh. '...I miss you.'
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The rain pelted down on her small form, the wind trying to throw her off of her path. It partially succeeded, throwing her off balance. But
she pushed through it. She had to know why.
She got to his apartment, didn't even bother knocking.
"Sakura?" Shikamaru yelled surprised. "What are you doing here?" He shut the door behind her, turning to a cupboard and getting a blanket, wrapping it around her.
"Why?" Her voice was dead.
"Why?" Shikamaru laughed lightly. "Because you're soaked to the bone, silly girl. I thought you'd be cold."
"No. Why?" She gritted her teeth. "Why did you leave us?"
Shikamaru's brown eyes softened as they locked with her green. "I didn't leave you -"
"Yes you did. I want to know why."
"But I didn't leave you!" He was yelling now.
"Yes you fucking did! Why did you leave me and Neji? What the fuck did we do to deserve this? We took you in, Shikamaru!" She hissed
through gritted teeth. "We loved you when no one else would." She choked back a sob, her voice wavering. "We became your family
when your real one left. What did we do to deserve this?" She was whispering the last of her sentence, and it was tearing him apart.
He hated seeing her cry, she was such a strong person. But here she was, breaking down right in front of his very own eyes. He tried to wrap her in an embrace, but she pulled away angrily, wiping at her eyes.
"Sakura.." He was at a loss for words. He tried so hard. This was such a drag. All of this was such a fucking drag.
"Why?" Her voice was defeated. She was giving up. Sakura was giving up on him just like that. "For Ino?"
"It's not like that. I love Ino, Sakura. I'm new to the whole relationship thing. I just want to be around her."
He reached for Sakura again, trying to touch her darkened pink hair as it matted to her face with tears. She shook her head, stepping
away from him. She walked toward the door.
"Over." She whispered. She shook her head again, as if this wasn't really happening. She opened the door.
"Sakura, please! You have to believe me! I love you too, we don't have to end our friendship! Please believe me.." He whispered brokenly.
But, you know what they say. The best part of believe.. is lie.
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"Sakura!" Neji panicked, rushing toward her. "Where the hell have you been? You're drenched. What did you do? Try think and walk at the same time and fall in a lake?" He tried to joke, but her face just looked so.. empty.
"Over.." She whispered to Neji. She collapsed in his arms, crying her broken heart out on his chest. "Shikamaru's gone. It's over!" She yelled, gripping to Neji's black shirt as if it were a life line. "It's over! It's over! It's over!" She sniffed, as Neji ran his fingers through her
hair trying to disentangle it and smooth it out.
"It's all over.." She whispered.
"He's really gone." Neji confirmed.
And they both broke down together, over the loss of a friend.
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Sakura and Neji actually went to school a few days after that. They needed the distraction.
But they didn't expect the source of the problem to be at school too.
Shikamaru didn't sit in his usual seat the next day. He sat on his own, near Sasuke's desk. His head on the desk, and to anyone else, it would look like he was sleeping.
But he wasn't. His arms were cradling his head, his hair even messier than usual. No one could see his face, they couldn't see the deep bags beneath his eyes, or his pale complexion. They didn't see that his eyes were red from both crying and the drugs he'd smoked early this morning.
He hadn't seen Ino since the day Sakura confronted him.
He hadn't wanted to. He was too upset. Too selfish in wanting to keep his friends and a girlfriend.
Too absorbed in his own life, he never stopped to recognize anyone else's.
'I'm sorry, Sakura. Neji.' He slowly lifted his head to look at them.
Sakura was in Neji's lap, trying to distract herself with his long coffee colored hair. While Neji had his arms locked around her in a vice
grip, desperately hoping that she wouldn't disappear just as Shikamaru had.
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"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura whispered as she approached the silver haired man's desk.
Kakashi's one visible eye crinkled in a way that she knew he was smiling beneath his mask.
"Yes, Sakura-chan?" He asked her lightly. He always had a soft spot for the fragile little girl.
In so many ways she was exactly like the flower she was named after. So small and delicate, fragile and beautiful. He always had the need
to protect his pink haired student.
"You know, don't you? About Shikamaru."
"Hai, Sakura. I do." His voice was soft, he shifted some papers over on his desk before she gracefully sat down on it.
She nervously swung her legs, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, chewing her bottom lip. She kept her eyes on the ground.
"What do I do about it?" She finally asked, watching her legs swing.
Kakashi put his hand on her knee, drawing her attention to him. He smiled at her.
"I think you should talk to someone," His smile widened as he thought about his raven haired student. "I see you've met Sasuke. Sometimes, talking to someone you don't know very well can be one of the best things for you. They can't judge you."
"Yes they can," Sakura interrupted. "This isn't some 1800's ancient time, Kakashi-sensei. People will talk about you. And hurt you. And judge you!"
"Did you judge me when I told you about Rin?" Kakashi interrupted her this time. His voice gentle, he squeezed her leg lightly in a way that made her calm down.
She shook her head again, before hugging the man beside her.
"Thank you, Kakashi."
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So, I'm kinda debating.
I want to bring Karin into this.
I'm going to start a poll with pairings, and I want you to vote!
Even if you just leave a review of all the side pairings you want.
Like Ino/Shika. Or if I bring in Karin, Karin/Shika?
I'm going for Suigetsu/Karin.
But you tell me, my loyal reviewers!