This Is How A Heart Breaks
By Jasmine Starlight
Full Summary: Yaoi/het. Neji/Sasu Sasuke's slightly mordant; Itachi just might be a sociopath. Maybe Gaara is from a broken home. Neji just may be in the closet. Maybe Naruto might be lonely. Maybe Kabuto needs someone to love. Maybe Kakashi might need someone to hold. Maybe Sakura might need real friends. Maybe Temari needs a reality check. Maybe Kankurou needs anger management. Maybe Jiraiya needs Tsunade. Maybe Orochimaru needs them both. Maybe Hinata needs freedom. Maybe Kiba might need acceptance. Maybe Ino needs confidence. Maybe Tenten needs medication. Perhaps Shikamaru needs love. Shino, quite possibly could need companionship. Maybe Tayuya is hiding behind her personality. Maybe Haku fears rejection. Maybe Kimimaro desires friendship. Maybe Lee is crying out for attention. Maybe Obito needs compassion.
Anyone want an update for anything?
Let me know.
So, I like strange pairings…bite me.
Pairings:…Neji/Sasu…Kimimaro/Haku…Obito/Kakashi eventual…Itachi/Kakashi…then Itachi/Kabuto…perhaps Tenten/Kankurou…Naruto/Gaara…Orochimaru/Jiraiya/Tsunade…not sure about that one. Open to suggestions.
Holy shit this chapter got really long. I really should be reading my summer reading books. Aww, screw it.
CHAPTER TWODECEIVING FAÇADE
"Don't you think that I'm bound to react now?
My fingers definitely turning to black now
Maybe I'll put my live on ice
And teach myself, maybe that'll be nice"
----The White Stripes
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"Have you ever thought about therapy?" Sasuke asked Shisui darkly as they continued their daily ritual of mutual abuse.
"No."
"Oh."
Usually Itachi would come along to break it up, before too many people were traumatized. "Have you ever considered shutting up for one second?"
"…bite me."
"I would but I don't want to get rabies."
"…oh did you just get finished infecting the whole school?"
"No I believe that was you."
"Dumbass."
"Fag."
"Breeder."
"Queen."
"Can you even spell q-u-e-e-n?"
"Can you spell, "I'm going to beat you to a pulp"?"
"Would you like that verbally or on a piece of paper?"
Cue pounding fist.
End Scene.
§§§§§§§§§§§
"Class, since Hayate-sensei is in the hospital for his rheumatism, we're having someone replace him. Temporarily of course, please welcome your new AP math teacher Uchiha Obito." Vice-Principal Jiraiya said as he returned to his office to read/write his porn.
Itachi began to beat himself with his textbook, "Enough of that." Obito ordered.
Itachi glared menacingly, "Today your sensei has it down that we start reviewing the sixth chapter for the test your supposed to have at one point during the year."
§§§§§§§§§§§
I despise high school.
It is an institution designed specifically to torture and torment the human psyche. Twisting and warping it into the complete opposite of what it was before high school. I firmly believe that abolishing the need for it altogether would severely decrease the total number of teen suicides each year.
But that's probably just me; some people are probably idiotic enough to believe that this should be happening, that the pain should be there. Just a part of growing up.
Fuck that.
And fuck you too.
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Chat #5481217875 has been opened
Pearleyedgirl87 has entered room
InuBAZOOKA has entered room
LordOfTheFlies has entered room
UZImaki01 has entered room
Pearleyedgirl87: hi Naruto-kun.
UZImaki01:…sup
InuBAZOOKA: what are you doing here idiot?
LordOfTheFlies:…Hinata invited him.
UZImaki01:…Hinata-chan can do whatever she wants dog-breath. :P
InuBAZOOKA:…bite me queenie.
LordOfTheFlies: did you start on our math homework yet, Hinata?
Pearleyedgirl87:…yes
LordOfTheFlies:…I thought it was hard
Pearleyedgirl87:…can't have been that hard for you.
BlametheParents has entered room
BlametheParents:…Hinata, Hanabi tells me that she needs to use your black top so she can manically plan the downfall of one her rivals and look "tight" at the same time.
Pearleyedgirl87:…alright Neji-niisan
BlametheParents:…sigh…Hanabi is reaaally disturbed.
BlametheParents has left room
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Writing in this journal has become too troublesome to put off for much longer, honestly my schedule is jam packed as it is. I need at least 17 hours of sleep a day.
So troublesome.
My mother's been on my case about some extra-curricular activities or something. Have to look good for all the universities that have been looking my way.
Seriously though, college sounds so…what's the word? Ah, troublesome.
I can't see myself ten years from now running a large corporation that determinedly squashes people's dreams just for the heck of it, working a very troublesome 9-5 and then coming home to my wife and my kid who's probably going to be even more fucked up than I am now.
When I say fucked up I mean lazy.
My, what a feat that'll be.
Perhaps I can find a way around this extra-curricular thing, scheming lazily is my one and only specialty.
Feh.
§§§§§§§§§§§
"A lazy club?" Chouji asked skeptically as he pried his large lunch from the confines of his locker.
"Yep." Shikamaru said with minimal effort.
"What would you do there?" Chouji asked with mild curiosity, he wasn't the only one with a disappointing lack of things that colleges look for.
"…haven't thought it through that much." Shikamaru admitted honestly.
"Well, you'd probably have to come up with some purpose for it." Chouji said sensibly as he hefted his large backpack and slowly began walking toward his AP Home Ec. class.
"That's too troublesome." Shikamaru replied as he slumped off toward his Honors English class.
§§§§§§§§§§§
"Would you be able to eat ramen there?" Naruto asked warily.
"…if you wanted to." Shikamaru shrugged carelessly.
"I'm in." Naruto said as he grinned widely.
"You would be." Sasuke pointed out drolly.
"Shut up Temee."
"No."
"I loathe you."
"The feeling is mutual."
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Chat room #4568354577
SelfLoathersUnite has entered room
IWishIWereTheOtherTwin has entered room
SharkMan210 has entered room
SelfLoathersUnite: hey
IWishIWereTheOtherTwin:…hi
SharkMan210:…sup
SelfLoathersUnite:…every time we talk must you ask me that?
SharkMan210:…habit
IWishIWereTheOtherTwin:…do you like halibut?
SelfLoathersUnite:…that came from out of the blue Ukon
SharkMan210:…actually I'm more partial to bass myself.
SelfLoathersUnite:…I'm surrounded by morons
ICarryABIGSWORD has entered room
SelfLoathersUnite:…Zabuza which do you prefer bass or halibut?
IWishIWereTheOtherTwin:…Itachi if you're going to be sarcastic about it then we don't have to talk about fish.
ICarryABIGSWORD:…neither
SharkMan210:…Zabz is more of a tuna man
SelfLoathersUnite:…of course…my mistake
IceBitch778 has entered room
IceBitch778:…hi guys
SharkMan210:…hey haku, sup
SelfLoathersUnite:…:)
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The next morning when Itachi and Sasuke were getting ready for school, Sasuke was unpleasantly surprised when Obito's behemoth of a car pulled into their driveway, he and Itachi shared a look before heading outside.
Sasuke nominated Itachi to go talk to Obito about his black metal monstrosity because the little bastard knew how much Obito pissed him off. Sasuke had better lock his door at night.
"Can we help you?" Itachi asked condescendingly.
"Your mom called me and told me I should give you a ride because her car's in the shop."
Sasuke decided this was a good time to butt in, "What about Itachi's car?" he asked sneeringly.
"Auntie needs that to run errands stupid." Shisui called from the back row. Sasuke's face went from unpleasantly surprised to deathly pale to an irritated scowl.
"Riiiight and what happened to his car?"
"He just wanted to come along for the ride."
Great, thought Sasuke agitatedly, another brilliant day.
§§§§§§§§§§§
Naruto was alerted to the arrival of a new day by the maniac shrieking of his devil alarm clock, Iruka had probably already gone in to work. Being a teacher and all that. But he had made Naruto breakfast, thank god for Iruka.
Naruto finally ran into school as the early bell rang, "Yees!" he exclaimed in relief, Iruka would have murderlized him if he had been late one more time.
Cheerfully making his way to his vomit orange locker, he hummed as he wrenched his textbooks out of the tiny space, when he slammed the door shut he saw Gaara leaning against his own locker.
"Holy shit!" Naruto yelped as he leapt about three feet into the air.
"What?"
"You scared the bejesus out of me!" Naruto exclaimed loudly.
"…oh."
"'sok Gaara."
"How did you do the math homework last night?"
"WE HAD MATH HOMEWORK LAST NIGHT!"
"…my ears."
"Sorry Gaara."
§§§§§§§§§§§
"Alright my precious victims—er pupils time to hand in the assignment I gave you last night." Anko said maliciously as she rubbed her hands together in what seemed like an evil gesture.
Naruto began sweating profusely, WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW!
"Come on now, we don't have all day to dawdle people!"
Naruto could only imagine what sick and twisted punishment Anko-sensei would have in store for him, boiling in hot oil? Too oily.
Death by a thousand toothpicks? Too many dead trees. How about death by a thousand paper cuts? Oh, the blood loss.
Once the rustling of papers had stopped (Anko had impeccable hearing) she patrolled the rows to collect the assignments. Naruto began gnawing on his fingernails. He was sure that Anko would notice that he hadn't handed in his paper right away, so when so passed his seat he cried out, "WON"T YOU THINK OF THE TREES! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"
Anko blinked twice, "What are you talking about Uzumaki? Could it be that you want me to grade your homework now?"
"NOOOOOOOO!"
"Uzumaki, Uzumaki, no that's Uchiha, Uzumaki, no that's it. Here it is, right next to Sabaku!" Anko exclaimed gleefully.
"Hmmm…check…check……dot…check. Lookie here Uzumaki you have a 100!" Anko declared in surprise.
"I'M SO SORR—what!" Naruto began then stopped, Sasuke snickered, and Gaara pointedly looked at his battered shoes.
HOW THE FUCK DID I GET A FREAKING 100 WHEN I DIDN'T EVEN FREAKING DO THE FREAKING ASSIGNMENT?
Who cares stupid? Take it and run with it! The voice in the back of his head commanded, so Naruto listened to that little voice and ran with it. Whatever "it" was.
"I did get them all right didn't I?" Naruto replied smugly.
Sasuke coughed under his breath, "Yup, you definitely did Uzumaki good job, keep up the good work." Anko moved on to terrorize the next row.
"Holy shit! What the fuck just happened?" Naruto mumble under his breath.
Sasuke checked to make sure Anko wasn't looking before he replied, "Moron, Gaara copied his for you."
"Huh?" Naruto replied, "You are such a fucking idiot." Sasuke muttered before turning back to his own work, Naruto turned to look at Gaara who sat two seats in front of him and was hunched over his desk scribbling frantically. Why would Gaara copy his homework for me?
Because he's in LURVEEEEEE with you! The voice spoke once more. WHAT THE FUCK! Gaara does not like me. He's too smart to like meeee!
Maybe he isn't!
Hey! Don't insult Gaara you stupid voice inside my head!
Suddenly Naruto was the subject of many odd looks, "Hehehe, did I just say that out loud?" Sasuke sniggered, Naruto took that as a 'yes', Anko returned to their row again, "Uzumaki! What are you yelling about?" she barked.
"Ermm…nothing."
"If you don't feel like sharing with the rest of the class then take it out to the hallway!" Anko said brashly. Naruto groaned but went anyway. This bites, big time man!
§§§§§§§§§§§
"You like Naruto don't you?" Sasuke said smugly as he Gaara got their books for their gym class, Naruto had study hall this period.
"What!" Gaara yelped, his voice going up several octaves.
"You heard me, Gaara." Sasuke said as he slammed his locker shut in satisfaction.
Gaara frowned as he followed Sasuke toward the locker room, "I do not." He insisted futilely.
"Yes you do." Sasuke returned infallibly as he unlocked his gym locker and took out his gym shorts, which by the way happened to be white, not that that is important or anything, just making an observation is all.
"What makes you think that Uchiha?" Gaara demanded defensively as he opened his own locker and pulled out his red gym shorts.
"I saw you doing Naruto's homework for him. What's next, going to bake him some brownies?" Sasuke sneered for affect.
Gaara threw a jockstrap at him.
"Gaara! That was disgusting!" Gaara ignored him and headed toward the stalls in the bathroom to change, "What did Gaara do?" he heard his brother ask as he entered the locker room.
Gym was the only class they had together. Gaara didn't hear Sasuke's reply as a mob of other guys entered the locker room and began changing simultaneously, slamming lockers and such.
By the time Gaara was done Sasuke and Kankurou were gone, presumably to the gym, Gaara followed suit, catching up to Sasuke who was making his way toward the bleachers. "I hope you don't plan to woo Naruto with your amazing jockstrap." Sasuke muttered out of the side of his mouth as they lined up for attendance.
"Oh bite me."
"I would but then Naruto would feel left out."
"Shut up."
"Perhaps I shall."
"Good."
"Perhaps I shan't."
"Pick one already." Gaara replied irritatedly.
"Sabaku and Sabaku you are running laps today!" Raidou-sensei barked, "Thank god." Gaara muttered before following Kankurou around the track. "Uchiha, Uchiha, Yakushi, and Hyuuga you're on chin-ups." Raidou said as he read from his clipboard.
Sasuke sighed, he and Itachi were always paired up, alphabetical order and all that jazz. "Hey you there stop juggling the soccer balls!" Raidou barked in the background as Sasuke began his chin-ups. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.
After seven Sasuke lost his speed and his interest and continued at a slower pace, I wonder when we start diving…
"Hey, Neji-kun how many were we supposed to do?" Kabuto asked as he pushed his glasses further up on his nose.
"100 or until the end of the period, whichever comes first." Neji replied as he did one-handed chin-ups, Itachi despised chin-ups.
Mostly because he didn't like looking at his chin for a whole period. But this was always a good time to annoy Sasuke, tightly wound as he was. "How long do you think Mom's car will be in the shop?" he asked quietly.
Ten. Eleven. Twelve. "Huh. I don't know, why?" Shit I lost count. Oh well, I can just pretend I finished. Heh.
"Because that's how long we have to take rides from Obito." Itachi pointed out.
"Ew." Sasuke replied automatically.
"Obito? As in Obito-sensei?" Kabuto asked curiously.
"Obito-sensei's been giving you rides?" Neji asked skeptically.
"Yes, the very same." Itachi replied.
"You're related to him?" Neji asked incredulously.
"Like Uchiha is that much of a common name; sadly yes we are related to him." Sasuke scowled at the thought.
"You know if you keep scowling your face will stay like that." Itachi pointed out as he effortlessly did his chin-ups.
"Good, then I won't have to make an effort." Sasuke replied agitatedly as he sped up to keep Itachi's pace.
Kabuto smiled, "How are you related to Obito-sensei?" he asked politely.
"He's our cousin from somewhere twice removed or something like that." Sasuke replied tersely.
"From somewhere?" Neji asked disbelievingly.
"Yes, Hyuuga from somewhere, which means I am not sure exactly how we are related." Sasuke sneered at him.
"Tone it down for once, will you Ototo?" Itachi suggested.
"Hell no, Aniki."
"Exactly how many Uchihas are there in this school?" Neji asked succinctly.
"Currently four, Sasuke, Shisui, Obito, and I." Itachi answered fluidly.
"Currently?"
"Next year some more cousins from somewhere thrice removed will be joining the ranks." Sasuke smiled viciously.
"It's like you have your own army." Neji commented.
"Like you should talk, Neji-kun you have just as many cousins, if not more." Kabuto pointed out concisely.
"The imperative thing is that they're not all going here." Neji said matter-of-factly.
"Right." Sasuke said sardonically.
§§§§§§§§§§§
"What did you have for breakfast?" Kankurou asked as he and Gaara rounded the track.
"Temari made me an omelet." Gaara said as tried to catch his breath.
"Really? I wish she'd make me an omelet." Kankurou said enviously.
"If you got up early enough she would." Gaara pointed out.
"Stuff it.
"Mine was stuffed with peppers and ham and cheese."
"You are goddamned EVIL!" Kankurou exclaimed, Gaara smiled which in turn caused Kankurou to ignore his gnawing hunger and grin in return.
"Listen, Gaara; Dad said that he would be gone for several weeks." Kankurou said somberly.
Gaara's eyes widened considerably, "Why?" he asked in a low voice.
"I don't know and frankly I don't care. I think it has something to do with his company or something, I'm just saying if you want to spend Thanksgiving break at someone else's house or something now is the time to do it." Kankurou said in a hushed tone.
"Like who?" Gaara asked irritatedly.
"I don't know, that Sasuke kid knows about Dad's "issues" doesn't he? Go stay with him or something, I'll cover for you if something comes upp; Sakon invited me to a party on Friday at his house, huge party, you could come with, it is a sleepover party though." Kankurou mused.
Gaara made a face, "You don't have to come, hey don't the Hyuugas have a party coming up?" Gaara shrugged, even though Hinata was in his math class he rarely had a chance to talk with her.
"We could go to that with Temari, she and Hinata get along well enough." Kankurou suggested cheerily.
"Whatever."
"Come on Gaara! Be a little more happy about Dad being gone for almost three months."
Gaara pasted on a smile the likes of Barbie and Ken have never seen before, "Dude, now that is just scary."
Gaara broke out into laughter, the kind of random laughter that keeps this author alive, but that's irrelevant.
"That's much better." Kankurou said as he grinned wolfishly.
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Chat room #54678233249 has been openedDeathisNoESCAPE has entered room
RedAsBlood09666 has entered room
RedAsBlood09666:…hey
DeathisNoESCAPE:…how have you been?
RedAsBlood09666:…could be better.
DeathisNoESCAPE: how are things on the love front?
RedAsBlood09666:…better
DeathisNoESCAPE:…how so?
RedAsBlood09666:…I copied his homework for him when he forgot it.
RedAsBlood09666:…although I don't think he knew it was me though.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…it's the thought that counts, right?
RedAsBlood09666:…please don't include me in your obsession with hallmark moments.
DeathisNoESCAPE: OI! I do not have an obsession with hallmark moments!
RedAsBlood09666:…right :-P
DeathisNoESCAPE:…you're so cruel and malicious.
RedAsBlood09666:…how is your crush-type thing going? ;)
DeathisNoESCAPE:…it is not a crush…don't wink at me!
RedAsBlood09666:…whatever ;)
DeathisNoESCAPE:…I talked to him in gym today.
RedAsBlood09666:…really, I was running laps in gym today.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…I was doing chin-ups.
RedAsBlood09666:…keep going. What did you talk about? ;)
DeathisNoESCAPE: his family.
RedAsBlood09666: throw me a bone here. What about his family?
DeathisNoESCAPE:…how a lot of them seem to like our school.
RedAsBlood09666:…were you alone? ;)
DeathisNoESCAPE:…quit it with winking.
RedAsBlood09666: sorry.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…no. His brother and a friend of mine were there.
RedAsBlood09666:…all doing chin-ups? Sounds like an orgy.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…TT
RedAsBlood09666: keep going.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…don't order me around.
RedAsBlood09666:…we are getting way off topic here, man. ;)
DeathisNoESCAPE:…nothing happened, he was talking about how his family invaded the school system.
RedAsBlood09666: why?
DeathisNoESCAPE: hell if I know.
RedAsBlood09666: did his family really invade the school system? ;)
DeathisNoESCAPE:…it's a figure of speech…like "chip off the old block" or "honey I wasn't cheating, I've just started wearing cheap lipstick." Or "I love you."
RedAsBlood09666: heh. ;)
DeathisNoESCAPE:…STOP WINKING AT ME GODDAMNIT! &#!$!
RedAsBlood09666:…you got me started now I can't stop.
DeathisNoESCAPE:
ENDHoly crap I still have enough juice to keep going for another hour.
But I won't.
Maybe I will later, but not now.
tifaff7lockhart- thanks.
Tidal rabbit- whatever floats your boat. I have ended all my chapters with a chat conversation, haven't I?
Monkey Shoes- why do you sound so surprised? And no it isn't Neji and Gaara. I would tell you but that would give it away. Whatever, any requests for the journal entries? I still have a lot of people to cover.
THANK YOU ALL THREE REVIEWERS!