This Is How A Heart Breaks
By Jasmine Starlight
Full Summary: Yaoi/het. Neji/Sasu Sasuke's slightly mordant; Itachi just might be a sociopath. Maybe Gaara is from a broken home. Neji just may be in the closet. Maybe Naruto might be lonely. Maybe Kabuto needs someone to love. Maybe Kakashi might need someone to hold. Maybe Sakura might need real friends. Maybe Temari needs a reality check. Maybe Kankurou needs anger management. Maybe Jiraiya needs Tsunade. Maybe Orochimaru needs them both. Maybe Hinata needs freedom. Maybe Kiba might need acceptance. Maybe Ino needs confidence. Maybe Tenten needs medication. Perhaps Shikamaru needs love. Shino, quite possibly could need companionship. Maybe Tayuya is hiding behind her personality. Maybe Haku fears rejection. Maybe Kimimaro desires friendship. Maybe Lee is crying out for attention. Maybe Obito needs compassion.
Anyone want an update for anything?
Let me know.
So, I like strange pairings…bite me.
I started cracking up when I was writing Kiba's journal entry. Heheheheheheh.
I liked writing Sasuke's inner monologue. Funny.
Pairings:…Neji/Sasu…Kimimaro/Haku…Obito/Kakashi eventual…Itachi/Kakashi…then Itachi/Kabuto…perhaps Tenten/Kankurou…Naruto/Gaara…Orochimaru/Jiraiya/Tsunade…not sure about that one. Open to suggestions. I'm thinking of doing Ino/Shikamaru/Temari…but whatever works for you guys man…Kiba/Ukon?
This chapter is dedicated to KuraResa, who liked my writing style. :)
CHAPTER THREE
SO HARD TO SAY
"Don't want to be an American idiot
Don't want a nation under the new mania
Can you hear the sound of hysteria
The subliminal mind fuck America
Welcome to a new kind of tension
All across the alienation."
----Green Day
§§§§§§§§§§§
"Why did you drag me to this party, again?" Sasuke demanded as Itachi drove their father's car to Ukon and Sakon's house. "So you don't stay at home and dwell in your own morbid and mordant thoughts."
"Gee thanks, got any more 'm' words you can utilize to describe me?"
"Not at this moment no."
"Right-o."
The rest of the ride was spent in silence until they reached Naruto's house and in piled: Shikamaru, Naruto, Gaara, Kiba, Kankurou, Chouji, Hinata, and Shino. How they were able to fit all of these people in one car is a mystery we may never unravel.
But nevertheless they all made it to Ukon and Sakon's house in one piece. "Hey Gaara," Naruto called as they walked up the driveway.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for that thing with my math homework." Naruto said as he smiled nervously.
"No problem."
"Alright!" Naruto whooped in glee and Gaara couldn't help but feel a warm pressure in his chest, he doesn't like you that way.
So, I can dream can't I?
Whatever.
When Kankurou rang the doorbell, Zaku answered the door, "Hey Kankurou, what's up?" Zaku said as he high-fived almost everyone who was standing in the doorway.
"Oi, Zaku, how about letting the people in before you slap them?" Kin suggested playfully.
"Bite me, Kin." But he stepped aside and let them in nonetheless. The house was crawling with teenagers and there was an odd fog floating down the stairs. Shikamaru eyed this all suspiciously, before following Chouji toward the snack table.
Naruto joined in a group playing poker, Itachi disappeared to go find his friends and Kiba assimilated himself with some people who were raucously watching some sports game. Sasuke wandered around the noisy house.
Eventually he wound up outside walking in the jungle like garden.
§§§§§§§§§§§
Neji found himself bored of the usual party games that his crowd played, 7 Minutes In Heaven, Pin the Tail on Asshole, Strip Poker, etc, etc. So he ignored the deafening whining that came with his departure and wandered in Ukon and Sakon's backyard.
There he found the cheeky Sasuke kid he'd been doing chin-ups with the week before, "Hey." He said eloquently as Sasuke nudged some gnarly looking lettuce with the toe of his shoe.
"Hi." Sasuke replied absently as he looked at the mutant lettuce.
"What are you doing?" Neji asked with mild curiosity as he sipped at his spiked punch.
"Is this lettuce?" Sasuke responded quickly.
"Hell if I know." Neji said as he shrugged carelessly.
"Right." Sasuke turned his dark eyes to Neji's pearl-like ones. "So what are you doing talking to me?"
"How do you mean?"
"I mean, has it really come this? You talking to me. I mean is the world coming to an end?" Sasuke went on.
Neji blinked in perplexity, "What are you talking about?"
"Your fan girls would shit themselves if they saw us having a civil conversation." Sasuke noted as he let the alien lettuce alone and moved on to the black colored grass.
"I hate my fan girls." Neji mumbled as he gulped his punch down.
"Why? Isn't it a massive ego-boost?"
"That and a constant invasion of privacy." Neji laughed hollowly.
"Oh, so popular people have problems too." Sasuke said sardonically as he walked through the measly topiary garden, which wasn't impressive in the least.
Neji was currently battling a massive headache, and therefore wasn't equipped to deal with Sasuke's brittle personality, "What is your problem anyway?" he demanded woozily, what had Dosu spiked the punch with? Rufies?
"My problem? That implies that I only have one." Sasuke said amusedly as he stole Neji's punch and took a sip.
Neji rolled his eyes, "Come on Uchiha, you act like you've been carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders."
"So?" Sasuke said challengingly.
"It's not like anyone is forcing you to be this irritating." Neji said as he walked along Sasuke.
"Right." Sasuke said in mock comprehension.
§§§§§§§§§§§
After winning a few rounds of poker, Naruto's attention wandered and left seeking other forms of entertainment. Eventually he made his way upstairs as nature called, after that was taken care of he found himself meandering around through the rooms.
When the hallway he was currently occupying became thick with smoke Naruto waded through the thick fog toward the end of the hallway to find a smoke machine. "the fuck?" he exclaimed to the empty smoke-filled air.
He shrugged and then went on his way, finding temporary solace in a bedroom toward the end of the hallway, sighing he took a seat on the bed and looked around at the poster adorned walls.
Abruptly there was a flushing sound and Kiba stumbled out of the bathroom, "What the? Oh, Naruto, how ya been man?" Kiba asked, his words slurring and his eyes were dilating.
"Okay." Naruto said eyeing Kiba suspiciously, "Are you alright?" he asked with mild concern as Kiba flopped onto the bed and began staring at the ceiling dejectedly.
Kiba started laughing maniacally, "You know I'll never be alright."
Naruto was starting to feel creeped out, "Kiba? What the fuck is wrong with you?" he asked apprehensively.
"You know what I think about?"
Naruto said nothing as he was too occupied with staring at Kiba incredulously, "I think that the only reason we die is because we accept it as an eventuality. I mean haven't you ever thought about immortality?"
"Are you high?" Naruto demanded firmly, more firmly than he felt because Kiba was acting seriously weird. With a capital 'w'.
"What's high? What's low? What's up? What's down?"
"Kiba you're fucking creeping me out, c'mon I'm getting you out of here." Naruto said as he tried to haul Kiba up off the bed.
"Dude, chill out and check out the pretty colors." Kiba said deliriously.
Short of pulling his blonde hair out by the roots, Naruto was at a total loss. But being the persistent bastard that he is he set out to recruit help, so when he made his way back through the fog and downstairs to the buffet table.
"Shikamaru!" he called over the loud din, "Nani?" came the faint reply from somewhere in the large crowd of people who were gyrating and grinding against each other. Naruto was overwhelmed, "No way in hell am I going into that orgy!" he said defiantly.
A hand reached out of the writhing mass of limbs and pulled him in, his blue eyes growing as wide as dinner plates. "NOOO!" he objected.
"Shut up." Gaara said darkly as he maneuvered his way through the mob of arms and legs, "Gaara?" Naruto asked bemusedly.
"Yes." He replied through clenched teeth, it was getting hard not to jump Naruto's bones as time went on, "How come you're in the middle of a giant orgy?"
"Middle? This isn't the middle. You were looking for Shikamaru weren't, you?" Gaara said as he shoved his way through the amassed bodies.
"Yeah. What do you mean this isn't the middle?" Naruto bellowed over the loud music, it was getting harder and harder to continue their conversation.
"Here we are; there's Shikamaru." Gaara said quietly, Naruto almost didn't hear him, "Hey Gaara, can you help me?"
"Help you with what?"
"I think someone drugged Kiba."
"I think he drugged himself."
"Gaara!"
"What?"
"Will you help me or not?"
"Fine."
§§§§§§§§§§§
When my dad left us it was really hard at first. But then you adjust and you wonder why you ever needed him in the first place.
Maybe I should start by introducing myself, since people a hundred years in the future might not want to read anonymous journals. I am Inuzuka Kiba. Obviously I go to this school otherwise you wouldn't be reading this. Unless you're a treasure hunter looking for hidden gold and found this instead.
Let me tell you, this is no treasure.
But that's not important, what's important is that I have to write in this journal and be truthful, that's what Kurenai-sensei stressed. Honesty is the best policy or some shit like that. Even though Kurenai-sensei can be a real bitch sometimes; she doesn't sugar-coat things much.
She doesn't treat the student body like a bunch of bleeding morons, even though most of them might be, nor does she treat us like we're an alien species beyond comprehension. But how Kurenai teaches is irrelevant at this point.
The only reason I started writing in this pathetic excuse for a school assignment is because that I need to say something and I don't need anyone judging me. I guess it's easier to talk when no one is listening.
I, Inuzuka Kiba am a homosexual. I like dudes.
No boobs for me. Just penises. Teehee.
There I said it, there's a reason why I'd rather write it down than say it out loud because saying it out loud means I have to acknowledge it as the truth and I'm not sure I'm ready to do that yet.
My mother would probably act like it was her fault, which it isn't. My mom has been through enough, she doesn't need this, my sister probably wouldn't care. She's never around anyway. When dad left something changed in her, she used to be really smiley and good-natured but it's like when you stretch out a rubber band, if you stretch it too far it'll snap.
I'm not saying she's crazy or anything it's just, she did a complete turnaround. She never smiles anymore, it's like everyday she goes to a funeral. She's angry all the time and it's not like she tries to hide it.
I miss her old self, I would probably be able to tell her old-self that I was gay but I can't go back in time. Not that I want to. You could do some wicked shit to the timeline.
So I watch the sci-fi channel. Sue me. Shino watches with me. So there!
I'm not sure I can trust my friends with this yet though; heck some of them might be gay! But I figure if one of them decides to come out of the closet I'll support them and slowly when everyone is used to the gay thing I'll come out myself.
But that might take awhile. None of them seem to be losing interest in girls anytime soon. I'm pretty sure that Shino is straight. Shino is the closest thing I call a best friend. Sure he's irritating and pompous but you can count on him to cut the crap should you need a helping hand.
For the record: IT WAS MY IDEA TO PRANK THE JOCKS, SO THERE! Uzumaki Naruto is a stupid fuck who wouldn't know a good prank if it slid down a stripper pole for him!
Feh.
§§§§§§§§§§§
Meanwhile, Itachi was enthralled in a riveting game of I've Never.
"Ok, ok it's my turn, hmmmm…I've never been kissed by another dude." Zaku said as he tipped his cup toward Haku.
"What? Why are you all looking at me?" he asked defensively.
"Who should we be looking at?" Kimimaro asked succinctly.
"Right." Haku said as he resignedly sipped his cup.
Kisame, Zabuza and Itachi also drank from their cups, "Itachi you've been kissed by a dude?" Ukon asked incredulously.
"No, I was just drinking."
"Oookay."
"It's Ino's turn." Sakura announced giddily.
"Alright, …I've never…had an orgy." She paused dramatically, "Oh, c'mon you guys can't be this boring."
Itachi drank again and there were several cat-calls, "Again, just drinking." There were several disappointed groans.
"This blows." Kisame remarked mellifluously to Zabuza, who had been sleeping with his eyes open until Haku delivered a sharp jab to his ribs.
"Huh. I'm not a transvestite I swear." He mumbled drowsily, much to the amusement/shock of the collected group.
Itachi rolled his eyes and wandered away from the collection of idiots toward a much quieter room, which was illuminated by the flashing lights of a video game. Sighing Itachi turned on the lamp, which in turn caused the room's sole occupant, Kabuto to hiss in pain.
"The light…it burns." He declared.
Itachi snorted and rolled his eyes, quite a feat to be sure, "Sure, how come you're not with everybody else playing fun party games?" he asked sardonically.
"I could ask the same of you." Kabuto retorted as he resumed lavishing his attentions on the racing game he was playing.
Itachi gracefully flopped into a beanbag. "What are you playing?"
"Racing game." Kabuto replied tersely as the blue and red flashing lights displaying the words 'NEW HIGH SCORE' reflected onto Kabuto's little round glasses. Itachi found he liked little round glasses.
"Can I play?"
Kabuto fixed him with a searching look before handing him the other controller, "You're going down Uchiha."
"That's what you think." I really like little round glasses…
§§§§§§§§§§§
"Hmmmm…pie." Kankurou mused as he perused the snacks table, "Hey Kankurou can you pass me the hot sauce?" Chouji asked, his form obscured by the large pile of food in front of him.
"Alright." Kankurou said good-naturedly, after which he continued his search for pie, "Hey Chouji?"
"Yes Kankurou?" Chouji said around a mouth full of pizza.
"Where's the pie?"
"What pie?"
"THERE'S NO PIE!"
§§§§§§§§§§§
Temari pointedly ignored Kankurou's frantic shrieking in favor of man-hunting with Kin and Tenten, "What about that one?" she gestured toward Zabuza.
Tenten shook her head, "Too scary."
"What about Naruto?"
"Too blonde."
"I resent that."
"You resemble that."
"What about Chouji?" Kin suggested boredly.
"He eats too much." Tenten said as she twirled a lock of hair.
"Too cheerful for me." Temari said disinterestedly.
"What about Kidoumaru?"
"He pretends to be a spider!"
"Do you have something against spiders?" Kin asked firmly.
"No." Tenten replied lazily.
"What about Kisame?" Kin ventured sanguinely.
"He looks like a shark, he'd eat me." Tenten exclaimed dramatically.
"He's not that bad." Temari said half-heartedly.
"So you'd go out with him?" Tenten asked.
"Blue's not my color."
"What about Kimimaro?" Kin said lethargically.
"He's too scary."
"I second that." Temari agreed.
Kin sighed, "You guys are so picky." She said resignedly.
"What about you?" Tenten asked accusingly.
"What about me?" Kin replied.
"You're just as picky." Temari said as she brushed hair out of her face.
"I am not." Kin exclaimed childishly.
"Prove it." Temari said challengingly.
"Fine, pick someone." Kin gesticulated wildly toward the mob of people dancing and drinking.
"Sakon." Tenten said fearlessly.
Kin worked through her grimace and asked Sakon to dance with her, although it still looked like she was being jabbed with a large needle it was great fun for Temari and Tenten to watch.
"She's hopeless." Tenten remarked.
"Because she's been waiting for Zaku to notice her."
"At this rate she'll be waiting into her fifties."
"Ew, that's disgusting."
"Perish the thought." Temari replied sagely.
"It's still revolting."
"Old people need love too." Temari pointed out.
"I'll keep that in mind."
"How touching."
"Hey Temari?" Tenten ventured after a moment of relative silence.
"Yes?"
"Is your brother single?"
"Is my hearing failing or do you want my brother?" Temari asked incredulously, Tenten looked away.
"You like him!" Temari accused loudly.
"Shhh." Tenten said in vain.
"It's not like it's any of my business but if you were to get together maybe you could teach him some manners." Temari said somberly.
Tenten rolled her eyes, "C'mon, he can't be that bad."
"You've never had to eat with him." Temari said wryly.
§§§§§§§§§§§
"So, what's your favorite color?"
"Are you seriously asking me that?"
"Yeah."
"Jade green."
"Choice."
"You?"
"Blood red; Itachi says I have an unhealthy fixation with blood."
"An unhealthy fixation, huh?"
"Yep."
"Oh alright."
Silence, the crickets were already out; chirping to their hearts' content.
"Oi, Sasuke?"
"Hmmm?"
"Are you gay?"
"What kind of question is that to be springing on me of all people?"
"What does that mean?"
"I barely know you and you've been chatting me up like we're long lost pals."
"I think it's the alcohol." Neji said as he stared Sasuke in the eye, his breath hot on the other boy's face.
God, are you testing me? Isn't Hyuuga Neji supposed to be the STRAIGHTEST FREAKING GUY ON THE PLANET! Cause if you are you picked a fine time! Goddamnit! This would be sooooooooo much easier if he were ugly. Or Sakura. BUT NOO! You had to make him god's gift to gay and/or horny teenagers! Fuck it all!
"I'm inclined to agree with you." Sasuke said dryly.
"Are you?"
"Yes?"
"You never gave me an answer." Neji persisted as he flopped down onto the grass.
"About what?"
"The gay thing."
"Oh."
"You're dodging the question again."
"Am I?"
"Yes! You are!" he exclaimed loudly.
AHHHHH! FUCK IT! Or preferably, him…
"Do you usually ask this many questions?" Sasuke asked conversationally.
"Do you usually answer questions with this many questions?" Neji returned.
"What?"
"Hell if I know."
In the pale, voyeuristic like of the waning moon, Sasuke was hard-pressed (or just hard) to not notice the alcohol induce flush on Neji's pale features. And it made him horny. "So, how tall are you?" Sasuke asked evasively.
"Huh."
"How tall are you?"
"…6'3…6'2, why?"
You know what they say about tall men…teeheee. When did I become such a pervert?
"Just curious."
"Uchiha?"
"Hai?"
"How come there are suddenly three of you?"
Sasuke felt his lips twitching, "I think it might be the booze, Hyuuga."
"Oh."
"Sasuke, if I were to, oh I don't know—kiss you, what would you do?"
"I don't know, why?"
"Just curious."
And the silence hung thick between them, until Neji, who's vision was blurring at the edges finally decided that he'd had enough of talking and that he'd show Uchiha.
Show him what exactly has yet to be determined, so Neji went with his common sense and reached out toward the Sasuke in the middle and kissed him. Hard.
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING HERE? AIEEEE! NEJI IS KISSING ME! Alright brain, relax, deep breaths…hey that feels goooodd.
END
An update for Legacy and Teenage Wasteland coming up…
KuraResa- Thank you very much.
riikaa- why thank you ever so much.
tidAl rabbiT- oh thanks. HUGS! I like being crack-ful. In fact my sister called me a big ball of crack once. I don't know why. Oh well.
bwahaha!- I like your penname. Heh. I do have 25 other fics to worry about.
Tifaff7lockhart- again thank you.
I NOW HAVE FIVE REVIEWERS! HELL YEAH. (bludgeons Inner Sakura to death)