only time can tell
by:TuesdayTerrible
A/N: a darker twist on the cannon reason Beck likes Full House. Inspired by lovely amelie's the stars are yours, and my own sick, sick mind. Enjoy.
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3 years 11 months and 6 days
is when she pieces everything together.
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His bedtime ritual is slightly different than most children his age- around nine every night without fail his parents start screaming- he watches with dread as his digital buzz light year clock slide from 8:59 to 9:00pm and as if on cue he hears his father's voice escalate as his mother's heels click across the kitchen floor.
He's already in bed but he can hear them through the walls of their small town house, loud and vicious and then there's always something shattering. He crawls into his closet and shuts the door and buries himself under all of his clothes, he presses his fingers into his ears and sings.
It never gets any easier, and they never get any less loud.
.
He works up the nerve to ask "why do you and mommy fight so much?" as his father slides him a piece of toast across the kitchen counter.
"Not this morning Beck." His father mumbles, eyes black with lack of sleep.
x
He asks his mother later as they walk out of daycare, and receives a slap across the face.
He doesn't ask, again.
.
It's past his bed-time and he's sitting on their worn out white leather sofa, dad's asleep and he guess's mom is too because she's not out front. The digital clock on the TV says it's 1:00am, but he's not really paying that much attention to the clock- he's more focused on Full House and their perfect happy family.
He hopes when he grows up, he's as cool as Jessie. He wants to play the guitar, be on tv like him and have some girl named Rebecca to live happily ever after with.
The door clicks open, and he hears his mom's heel hit the floor with a thud as she closes the front door behind her. Beck freezes, his eyes wide as his moms eyes connect with his own. He looks kind of like a deer in headlights basking in the only illuminated light in the house.
She doesn't say anything just sets her keys on the counter, and takes a seat next to him on the couch.
Beck thinks she smells kind of funny, but he doesn't say anything as she drapes her arm over his shoulder.
"I like full house too."
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Beck thinks his mom is the prettiest person in the entire world.
She has pretty olive skin, and long silky black hair that falls in beautiful thick curls naturally. He watches her put on make-up, fishnet tights and heels.
He never understood why she needed any of it. She was prettier without it.
.
His dad picks him up from daycare sick and tucks him into bed.
"Are you going to be okay here on your own? I have to go back to the office for a few hours but your mother should be on the way home." He watches his father steal a glance at his buzz light year digital clock and he nods.
"She'll be here soon?" His congested nose covers the tremor in his voice.
"Yeah." His father pauses a minute before kissing him on the forehead. "I love you."
Beck falls asleep, but he's not sure exactly for how long- but when he wakes up, he hears his mother making these awful sounds like a dog being kicked. He pulls the covers closer to his face and he's not sure what he should do. He runs over to his closet and pulls out his plastic baseball bat.
"For practice when you are old enough to play." His dad had said. Beck just knows this is what people grab in the movies when they're scared.
He takes cautious steps down the hall and pushes open his parents' bedroom door. He stares at the naked man on top of his mommy- who is still wearing her heels- but nothing else. They don't notice him and if they do they don't acknowledge him.
"G-Get off her!" Beck yells running into the room and launching the plastic bat at the older man, hitting him square in the back. The man stops and retaliates with a loud "what the fuck?" and his mother screams "Get out Beck! Just GET OUT!"
He runs down the hall into the bathroom, hot snot and tears running down his face as he leans over and vomits into the toilet. He keeps wailing until his mom comes in….45 minutes later.
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"It's okay Beck." His mother soothes redressed in red lingerie, fishnet stockings and red heels. Snot and tears are staining her chest and he shakes violently in her arms.
"I-Its not…y-you w-were and and and" It's too much to process and something hurts so deep down he's not even sure what it is. He misses the toilet and his vegetable soup stains the white bathroom tile yellow.
She recollects him into her arms and carries him out of the bathroom, long red manicured nails running through his black locks. She tucks him into bed and crawls in next to him; he listens to her tell him about this white powder that makes everything magic.
"It makes you fly Beck." She says and her eyes sparkle with something he's never seen before. "It makes you able to do anything you want. Have anything you want. Do anything you want. Mommy's never been so free, and there's nothing she wouldn't do to keep feeling this happy. Don't you like to be happy boo?"
"Yeah." He whispers enviously. "Can I have some magic too?"
She smiles crawling out of his 'big boy bed' and flicks off the light. "Who knows baby? Maybe, when you're older."
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"Beck." His mom whispers, shaking him slightly.
He doesn't want to be shaken, he's still so tired. He whines and paws at his eyes as she puts him into a sitting position.
"Baby the magic man wants to see you." Her eyes are sunken in and he's not sure if it's because he just woke up and his eyes are still kind of blurry but his mommy doesn't look very pretty at (3am says Buzz). He watches her tiny arms scratch at the little holes in her arm, and when she catches him looking her, she wipes her runny nose with the back of her hand and snaps, "Lets go!"
She leads him out to a black SUV parked a few minutes away from their house where a man sits in the backseat, door already propped open, and Beck doesn't think he looks very magic. He looks kind of scary. The guy in the back of the car takes off his thick black sunglasses (why does he need sunglasses at night?) and eyeballs Beck. His dark eyes are large and menacing; he can feel himself shiver even though it's too humid for there to be any chill.
"He's five right?" He says his eyes staring towards his mom.
" Five next month. He'll start Kindergarten in the fall."
"Lovely."
"Pull your pants down kid." The guys voice is gruff, and Beck's not sure he heard him right. He looks to his mother /tell me what to do/ and she nods.
"Do what the magic man says honey."
He pulls his pants down and his legs are trembling so hard, he's afraid he's going to fall down. The magic man's not a doctor, he's a stranger. And he's not mommy and daddy "and sometimes you just know…"his daddy says. "...when something's wrong."
He watches as someone else leans out from the front of the SUV and hands his mom a zip lock bag of white powder and a hand bends him over into the vehicle, a searing pain rips through him as he watches his mom through the tinted windows, small hands banging at the glass, and then his world goes black.
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"Do you remember your mother?" His father asks one day, eight years later.
"No." Beck says quietly, and it's kind of almost the truth.
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He's been wetting the bed every night for the last three months. His mother tries to console him, but most of the time- she just lines up little lines of magic on his end table and sniffs them up into her nose until her nose is red and raw.
She stumbles into his room late at night and kisses him all over his face, smelling like whisky and sweat, and smiling at him with magic covered eyes. When she finally gets around to passing out on top of him- he wishes she doesn't wake up.
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He kills a puppy when he's seven- he was walking home from school (because mommy's making magic and daddy is stuck in the office) and he's not paying attention. He's busy pretending he's someone on the tv screen- someone with super powers, or maybe just the ability to fly so he didn't have to walk home alone. That's when the dog pounces on him; he's jerked back to reality with such a force that he instinctively swats his book bag as hard as he can at the poor cocker spaniel. He watches the pup fly through the air from the weight of the book bag and crash into the wooden fence that borders some random persons yard.
The dog whimpers and something inside of him snaps.
"Don't whimper!" He yells taking his bag and with all his seven year old force smashes it into the dogs snout. The little dogs body withers frantically, paws flailing as he presses all his weight into the bag in attempt to suffocate the small dog. "Shut up!" He screams.
The magic man whispers "your mother loves magic more than she does you." When Beck whimpers, tears' staining his face and his entire world's rupturing in pain- the magic man hits him square in the back of the head. "Just shut up."
He gets off his bag and slides it onto his back. He ignores the little trail of blood that follows him through the rest of the street.
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Beck's father attempts to hug him one night after dinner, before bed, and Beck screams.
Beck doesn't see his mother again after that.
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He meets Robbie in 6th grade, he's a dork with big glasses, curly black hair, and this stupid puppet he carries around claiming him to be an actual person. But Beck likes him, because he doesn't fit in either.
"Why are you hanging out with me?" Robbie asks as Beck takes a seat with him, all eyes wide. "You're a cool kid."
Beck shrugs offering a kind smile. "So?"
"What is wrong with you?" Rex says Robbie's mouth agape.
Beck takes a bite of his turkey and cheese sandwich and shrugs.
wish I knew…
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His dad marries a girl named Ashley.
She doesn't remind him of anybody.
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"Do you want to spend the night?" Robbie asks one day looking up shyly from their game of checkers.
"No!" Beck screams rising to a stand, the checker board flipping over with his movement- black and red dots scattering across the floor.
..You're still having accidents sometimes aren't you boo?
Robbie looks terrified, and Beck recollects himself immediately
You have to act like you're okay…or else mommy will be in big trouble can you do that? Can you play it cool like Jessie?
"Sorry." Beck says sitting back down smoothly. "Look at it this way though Rob, now you don't have to lose to me in checkers."
Robbie smiles, but it's hesitant.
.
He meets Jade for the first time in the ninth grade, and he can't help but breathe a sigh of relief when he sees her. He thinks she's beautiful with her subtle curves and black clothes and oversized combat boots. He didn't think he could be attracted to anyone, he kind of thought he was broken.
.
"Hey, what's your name?" He asks because he's awkward and doesn't even know how to pick up a chick, let alone really talk to one. He's never had to deal with the feeling of liking one before.
She gives him a once over, before promptly spinning on her heels, coffee cup clenched in hand. "No." she calls over a shoulder before disappearing down a graffiti covered hallway.
She's playing with him, and he wants to play.
Catch me if you can.
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Robbie introduces Beck to Cat, a girl with red hair who wears bright colored clothes and talks to fast for her own good.
She catches Beck staring at Jade one day before slinking beside him at the lunch table.
"You like Jade." She whispers like she just found out his biggest secret (if it was only his biggest secret).
"Yeah." He says back a small smile brimming across his features. "But, I don't think I'm her type."
"Jade doesn't have a type." Cat says simply like it's the most obvious answer in the entire world. "She likes to be caught off guard, I think."
"And why would you think that?" Beck said trying hard not to take the vibrant redheads babble to seriously, even if he was kind of hanging on to every word.
"Well. I'm her friend." Cat says, eyes sparkling. "And I catch everybody off guard, kind of like a jack in the box- you know im gonna pop out, you just never know when!"
Beck decides not to tell her to the character pops out at the end of the song, he's too focused on figuring out how to win over Jade West.
.
He follows her for about a week.
She drinks her coffee damn near black, two sugars. She steps on flowers when she walks home from school. Her house is two stories and there are never any cars in the driveway. He's caught her twice on her porch with a cigarette. She's a talented actress, and already has a rep for causing people to "reap what they sow."
She screams at the neighbor's Rottweiler from her bedroom on the second floor, "Ugh, shut up would you! Fucking dog!"
Beck promptly slices the dog's throat the following night, and takes his collar home. The internet says that the collar's his trophy.
He wonders if he's a stalker, and isn't too concerned about the dog.
.
She comes into school smiling, which is unusual for her- and it's even more unusual when she takes a seat next to him.
"Someone's in a good mood today." He muses, sly smile spreading across his olive features.
"Someone took the liberty and offed my neighbor's dog for me." She gives him one more gleaming smile before returning her attention to Sikowitz.
He thinks he's in love with her.
.
She kisses him, halfway through the school year, 3 plays, and 23 cups of coffee later- she pauses in the middle of the classroom on the way up to the stage, stomps back to Beck's seat, grabs his jaw and turns his head towards her and promptly shoves her tongue down his throat.
He feels shivers make there way down his back when she pulls away and proudly announces that "Beck Oliver's my boyfriend. Stay away from him."
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Tori Vega shows up with pretty eyes, genuine smiles, and smooth skin. Jade hates her, but Beck's not really sure why.
Maybe, Beck thinks Maybe, she just wishes she was normal like her.
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"Tell me one thing, nobody knows about you." Jade muses, looking up at Beck brown hair splayed across his tanned stomach.
"…I want to…"
You have to pretend you're perfect remember? Don't want to lose your Rebecca.
"I want to know everything about you." And his lips press against hers.
It's not what he was going to say, but it's not a lie either.
.
He loses himself when he comes home from his fishing trip up in Canada, Jade West sitting splayed across his bed, arms crossed over her chest sitting in a gorgeous teal dress, face stained just slightly with mascara.
"What happened?" He says shutting the door behind him taking a seat next to her on the bed. She doesn't say anything just kind of looks out the bullet proof window, chewing lightly on her bottom lip.
"You know….I was just trying to teach her a lesson!" Jade says snapping her head back to him exasperated. "I worked *so* hard on that play and I had Cat's brother get everything together and…." She pauses, in what Beck thinks is her trying to collect herself before she continues.
"I just hate it when people I don't know, let alone like…touch me."
This wasn't news to Beck- he was completely aware that Jade had some form Aphenphosmphobia; it had taken her forever not to shy away from his and Cat's touches- she had to control the actions herself or she kind of sort of well, lost it.
"Who touched you?" His voice was low and throaty and he could already feel the need to right the wrong- the anger flooding through his veins the need to kill. He bit his lower lip trying to control his anger and her hesitance. "Who. Touched. You." His words were no longer filled with question but shaking with anger.
"This dude I hired to wreck Tori's 'Prome'" Jade said quietly as if she were ashamed. "She said I was Prom Queen and the dude King and then he picked me up." She shivered as if on cue, rubbing vigorously at her arm. "I hate her."
Beck collected her into his arms, and offered a quick kiss on her forehead.
"It's not going to happen again."
.
He doesn't kill Tori, or Doug the diaper guy.
But he leaves her a pretty nasty voicemail, and Doug does get his tires slashed and unemployed within 48 hours of the Prome.
Tori doesn't talk to either one of them for the next two weeks.
He's perfectly fine with that.
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Robbie confronts Jade one day after lunch before Sikowitz, Rex is shaking because of how scared Robbie is to talk to her. He's never been good at speaking to Jade- let alone about anything of importance.
"What?" She snaps, tapping her foot impatiently arms wrapped protectively in front of her chest. Robbie read that that is a gesture of protecting yourself somewhere; he thinks maybe she's as scared as he is.
"About Beck…"
"What about Beck?"
His words get stuck in his throat and his eyes meet the floor.
"I was just wondering…does anything ever seem…I don't know…off about him? I figured because you two have been dating so long…"
She furrows her brows at him and he babbles on incoherently, stumbling over his own words for another minute before giving up and rushing past her into Sikowitz's room.
"He's with me. There's obviously something wrong with him." She says to the empty space where Robbie once stood. "Is that what you were getting at?" her voice is soft and she slaps herself mentally for talking to herself out loud.
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The reason Beck wants a Rottweiler is because it reminds him of the time he fell in love with Jade. It reminds him that somebody could love him for murdering something. He wonders if shed forgive him if….
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"You want to kill somebody don't you?" She says one day from the floor just in front of his bed.
His body flinches and while his auto response says lie, instead he answers honestly- because love is a scary thing. "Yeah."
"I kind of figured as much." She says her eyes turning up to face him instead of the box of dog collars that are stashed underneath his bed.
He wants to ask her if she can love him, if she doesn't already. But he doesn't.
"I love you."
She smirks. "Good."
.
The memories haunt him sometimes, the pieces he can remember. Fishnets, Full house, SUVs and that fucking buzz light year clock send him sweating bullets and screaming in his sleep.
Even in the darkness, Jade always finds his hand.
.
"She's a whore." Beck tells her one day. "I don't remember much. But I know she's the reason I want too…"
They don't say what they both know out loud, because that would make it real- and neither of them is truly aloud to break their character.
"Yeah." Jade says quickly. "Are you going to find her?"
"Maybe. Would you forgive me?"
"Yeah." She says slyly wrapping arms around his neck seductively. " Some people deserve to die in the gutter."
Beck takes her right there in his father's kitchen, and if his dad walks in, he doesn't notice because he's caught up in Jade and all that she is.
.
He finds her, curled up next to a trashcan in some alley way less than five blocks away from their house.
"My baby boy." She hisses, her body shaking from withdrawal. Her hair is matted, her eyes are wrinkly, and he doesn't know why he ever thought she was pretty. Her fishnet leggings are torn and she smells of piss, sweat, and whiskey. "isn't such a baby." She laughs and she sounds like she's coughing up a lung.
"You know why I'm here." Beck says simply, his left hand caressing the knife in his pocket.
"You want some of mommy's magic now that you're all grown up." She says her voice still drips with rainbows when she says magic. Her body convulses and she throws up, "Mommy can't buy anymore magic right now. Mommy's crash landing. Down..down…"
He acts on his own before he loses his whit, his hands grabbing her matted hair and shoving her head against the wall. His knife is against her throat and he can feel her hot tears dripping down his arm. She's convulsing so hard, the blade's cutting her by her own accord- he hadn't even pressed down yet.
"shhhhh shhhhh" he says quietly into her ear. "It'll only hurt a bit…isn't that what you told me?"
He smiles as the warm heat of her blood runs over his hands, and he closes the eyes and embraces the feeling of taking a life. His adrenaline's pumping so hard, and he can feel every cell, every molecule of blood rushing to his cock as he hears his mother gasp for air choking on her own blood.
'Justice is served…right?' Beck thinks numbly, before letting his mother's body fall to the ground. He needs to get washed up, and see Jade effective immediately. He needs her like the tide needs the moon, he needs her the way his mother needed magic.
He doesn't know why, but when he gets in his truck- he starts to cry.
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Jade holds Beck as he convulses on the bathroom floor in his RV, his body shakes and he's sweating bullets and the entire room smells like vomit. The blood has been washed from his hands and his shirt burned, and Jade's not entirely sure if he's crying out of relief, fear, or the rarest form of desperation.
She whispers I love you in his ear until he falls asleep.
/
It's a good thing no one cares about prostitutes, anyway.
/
Fin.
A/N: So, there you have it, an almost serial killer Beck, behind his perfect persona. Reviews are appreciated. Flames are for children.