Chapter 3

Dead Silence

My assumptions were correct. God, I hate it when I'm right.

As I tried to concentrate on the painstaking task of writing all the notes down, Baralai couldn't keep his mouth shut. Every time he spoke up, I totally lost my entire train of thought and quickly began to get extremely aggravated. Half a dozen times I had to swallow a rebuff that crawled its way up my throat with a vengeance. I was amazed at the level of self-control and patience that I was exerting just to be nice to him. I didn't even know that I was capable of such a thing. Every person has their breaking point, though, and I reached mine only half an hour later.

So, instead of outright snapping at him, I decided to take the nicer route, which also surprised me because I wasn't one to 'be nice' to people I hardly knew very often. "Baralai, as much as I enjoy answering your questions, I really do need to concentrate on this." I stared right into his eyes as I said this, hoping I was getting my point across.

His throat tightened momentarily as he swallowed and his tongue flicked out of his mouth to wet his lips. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, his voice small. "You should have told me to shut up earlier." One corner of his mouth curled up into a smirk that made my heartbeat quicken.

Wait...what?

I looked away from him without saying anything back and we sat in awkward silence as I stared down at the paper in front of me. "Switch me seats really quick," I blurted out, getting up. Baralai shot me a confused glance before rising. I moved my chair over in front of the computer that was our archive of songs and switched it back on, pulling a pair of headphones out of a drawer and plugging them in next to the screen. "Finishing this composition is going to take me a while so you can listen to some of our music. It'll keep you occupied."

Baralai smiled again as he sat down in front of the screen and quickly got to work scrolling through the list. I sighed, glad to have a little peace, then got back to work. I had almost half the guitar notes mapped out when the ringing of a cell phone snapped me out of my concentration, making me jump so high I almost hit my head on the ceiling. I looked at Baralai, already figuring that it was his phone that was ringing, to see him looking at the lit display with confusion.

"Excuse me," he whispered before slipping into the foyer and talking in hushed tones with the person on the other end. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but I could tell that his voice was strained.

I frowned as I began to wonder who he was talking to. I knew that it was none of my business, but I still couldn't help my curiosity, which absolutely confounded me. Being curious about someone else had never been a part of my persona. Rikku's and Yuna's, yes, but never mine. I tried to take my mind off that fact by concentrating on my work, but didn't get very far. All the notes that I had written down in the interim had to be redone because my attention was centered on what was going on in the foyer instead of the notes I was writing. To my relief, Baralai came back into the room a few moments later and I tried my hardest to look like I was immersed in my work even though I wanted to know who had just called him.

I almost broke my pencil in half trying not to look in Baralai's direction. I finally gave in and leaned back in my chair, hesitantly laying my eyes on him. His right leg was nervously bouncing up and down while he chewed on his bottom lip and stared down at the floor. He was still holding his phone, turning it around in his hands absentmindedly. The muscles in his jaw were clenched tightly, which told me that the conversation hadn't gone very well. I swallowed slowly, wetting my throat so my voice wouldn't crack when I spoke.

"Baralai?" I said almost cautiously.

He didn't respond for a long time. I thought, at first, that he didn't hear me, but I froze when he started chuckling and shaking his head. "I thought I was through," he said, his voice a low whisper. "I thought I was through with her and now..."

Now I was even more confused than I was five minutes ago. His cryptic words were puzzling, but I didn't want to push the issue. If he didn't want to tell me what the person on the other end of the line had said, I wasn't going to force it out of him. After a few minutes of dead silence, I went back to my work, still concerned about what had happened. I saw out of the corner of my eye as he slipped the headphones back over his ears, picking up where he left off like nothing was bothering him. I sighed heavily as I stared at the sheet music in front of me like it was written in a foreign language. I decided to take a break on the guitar notes then started mapping out the notes for the percussion. That came a little easier since I had the rhythm already figured out.

I was making progress with the percussion notes and almost had them finished when Baralai's hand grabbed my shoulder, his fingers digging into my skin like claws. I frowned and whipped my head around, shocked by his sudden change of behavior. He was staring down at the computer screen, his eyes glued to the small, glowing screen in front of him as if his very life depended on it. My curiosity was piqued again as I scooted towards him, my work forgotten for now.

"What is it?" I whispered, looking from the screen to him. I gasped inwardly when his eyes met mine. I reflexively leaned away from him, frowning at the intensity of his gaze. He was looking at me like I had pulled him from a fiery abyss, his eyes glinting with what seemed like redemption.

Without a word, he handed me the headphones and indicated me to put them on. The frown stayed on my face as I scooted closer to the screen, trying to see what he wanted me to listen to. I froze when I saw which song was queued up. This certain piece was only one minute and forty seconds long, which was the first verse and the chorus. I had the full version back at my house on a disk. The version Baralai had found was the unfinished one. I had to bite down on the inside of my bottom lip to prevent it from quivering. I knew exactly which song this was. Not even Yuna and Rikku knew I had written something like this.

Right as Baralai played the song I yanked the headphones off my head and mashed my hand down on the stop button. Very bad things were happening in my life when I wrote that song and listening to it would only make me relive every single painful memory. I held my breath and counted to ten to help myself calm down; I still had my hand pressed down on the stop button like if I even attempted to lift it the song would begin to play again. I took two deep, calming breaths then lifted my eyes to meet Baralai's.

Of course, there was confusion painted all over his face. I was expecting as much, but I definitely wasn't going to divulge my entire past to him. "What's wrong?" he asked, laying a comforting hand on my arm. I flinched at the unexpected contact and shied away from him. I pulled my lips between my teeth and bit down, preventing myself from saying anything. "Paine, I know we just met yesterday, but you don't have to be scared to talk to me."

I pursed my lips and broke eye contact with him. I wanted to believe that I could trust him, I really did, but I hardly even knew him and the last time that a boy had told me I could trust him...things hadn't turned out so well. I scooted away from him. "Baralai, there are many things in my past that you won't ever find out about. Don't take it personally. I don't make a habit of talking about my past, even to Yuna and Rikku."

He was silent for a second and I thought that I might have insulted him before he started chuckling. "It's alright," he said, a smile in his voice. "Just don't forget that I'm always here if you need someone to talk to."

A few seconds later my redemption walked in the door in the form of my two best friends. I tried to make my sigh of relief inaudible so Baralai wouldn't hear it, but that attempt fell flat. Their arrival couldn't have been timed more perfectly.

"Painey!" Rikku's shrill voice called from the entrance. "We brought caffeine!"

Those three short words were enough to propel me out of my seat faster than I thought was possible. My love for those two had just been doubled. A large smile curled my lips up when I walked into the foyer and saw Rikku standing there holding a large double mocha latte, my personal favorite. I accepted it and gave her a quick one armed hug.

"Have I told you lately that I love you, Rikku?" I asked, taking a sip from the container.

"No, but just remember this the next time you feel the need to strangle me," she replied with a smile.

"Done deal," I said, uncaring as long as I had my caffeine.

Yuna and Rikku said hi to Baralai as they walked past him into the recording booth. Rikku sat down behind her drum set, twirling the sticks around in her hands before beating out a short rhythm, and Yuna sat down at the piano I had used to warm up with earlier. I joined them and slung my electric guitar over my shoulder. I set my latte down on the floor a few feet away so I wouldn't knock it over. I cursed inwardly when the music stand beside me didn't have any picks in it.

"Baralai," I called, getting his attention. "Look to your left and open the top drawer. There should be a few of my guitar picks in there. Will you grab one for me?"

He nodded and rummaged around in the drawer that I had indicated. He appeared a few seconds later with a pick in hand. I thanked him as he handed it to me then returned to his seat in the mixing room. He didn't put the headphones back on his head, but instead sat there and watched us.

I plugged in my guitar and turned the amp on, making sure to turn it back down before I started to play. Rikku and I took a few moments to play a few random pieces before I felt the need to consume more of my latte.

"So, Rikku," I shouted over her loud drum playing. She had continued to play even after I stopped. "Have you thought up a theme for next week's show yet?"

She stopped playing and leaned her head back, a contemplative look falling over her face. "Well, kind of," she answered, pulling a folded piece of paper out of the back pocket of her jeans. "I made up a list of the songs we haven't performed in a while." She got up and handed the list to me, hanging over my shoulder to gauge my reaction to her song choices.

"What about you, Yuna?" I asked, as I glanced at a few of the songs. "Do you have any ideas?" She had been unnaturally quiet this morning and that wasn't like her.

She shook her head and nonchalantly shrugged one of her shoulders. "You guys know I'm happy with whatever you decide," she said, smiling.

I shook my head in disbelief. She hardly ever gave her opinions on songs she wanted to perform and when she did she always gave us the option of not using it if we didn't want to. She was a people pleaser to the extreme and it was one of her tragic flaws. I rolled my eyes at her and smiled back. "How are we supposed to know if you like our song choices if you don't give us your opinion?"

Her grin widened, knowing I was only being sarcastic. "You two always make good song choices so there's never anything for me to object to," she replied, placing her hands on the piano keys and playing a soft melody.

I rolled my eyes once more, amused by her simple answer before turning back to Rikku's song list. "Well?" she asked, the hypnotizing swirls of her Al Bhed irises shining expectantly. "What do you think?"

I read through the list one more time, actually pleased with her choices. The solos that she picked out for me were a few of my favorites so I wasn't about to object. I met her eyes and nodded. "You did good, Riks," I said truthfully. "The only thing I'm worried about are all the costume changes," I tacked on a second later.

She had made little notations next to a couple of the songs indicating costume changes and those weren't exactly my favorites. More than one costumes change meant that we would have to bring in our backstage crew. We hardly ever used them because we were resourceful enough on our own.

Her face immediately fell. "But we haven't done mid-show costume changes in a long time!" she exclaimed, her voice becoming shrill once again.

"We might have to bring in our crew," I countered.

"Well...if we do, we do! I think our fans would enjoy it!" She paused and looked at her cousin, who was still sitting at the piano calmly watching our exchange. "Yuna? What do you think?"

When I looked at Yuna, I had to hold back a bark of laughter because the poor girl looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She definitely had not expected Rikku to bring her into our little argument and was probably wondering which side to take. After looking at both of us in turn, she took a deep breath. "To be honest, I agree with Rikku, Paine," she began, sending an apologetic glance my way. "She's right. We haven't done costume changes in quite a while and if we need to bring in our crew then I guess it can't be helped. Let's just take it one step at a time. We have six days."

Surprisingly, I felt much more open to the suggestion after Yuna defended Rikku's idea. I looked back over at the blonde and nodded. "Alright, she's convinced me." I temporarily lost hearing in my left ear from Rikku's scream of joy. "I'll call all of our backstage crew members either tomorrow or Monday and give them the heads up. And you," I said, pointing a finger at Rikku. "you need to start on costumes designs pronto."

"Oh, I already have! Once we're done here, I'm going home and locking myself in my room for the rest of the day," she said, an excited smile spreading across her face.

For the next few hours, we stood around the piano going over our song list, bouncing ideas for the costume changes and when they were going to happen back and forth. We decided that we would have three different costumes, but only two changes, one in the middle and one at the end. Rikku said she had a really good costume already in the works for our show opener and, from the vague hints she was giving us, I had an idea that we were going to be wearing something along the lines of hosiery.

Whoopee...

Every few minutes, I looked over my shoulder at Baralai to see what he was up to. I know it was rude of us not to include him, but, by the looks of it, he was getting along okay. He had the headphones back over his ears and appeared like he was enjoying himself just fine listening to our music. Our eyes met once when I looked back at him and, after a moment of hesitation, I lifted my hand and gave him a thumbs up. He nodded and mirrored the signal, letting me know he was fine. I flashed him a small smile then turned my attention back to my two best friends.

Around three we decided to break for the day and get something to eat. All of us were so hungry that we could barely concentrate on anything except our growling stomachs. We chose a fast food restaurant not far from our recording studio and the four of us binged on greasy cheeseburgers and salty french fries with enough chocolate shakes to choke a chocobo. Rikku and Yuna left almost as soon as they were done. Rikku said she wanted to get as much work done on our costumes as she could while the ideas were fresh in her mind and Yuna said she had some homework that she needed to finish, which once again left me alone with Baralai.

As we were walking out of the restaurant, Baralai's phone began ringing, making the both of us jump in surprise. He chuckled as he looked at the display and answered it. "Hi, Mom." He was silent as his mother began talking. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye a few times. "Sure thing. I'll be home in a few." He ended the call and slid his phone back into his pocket.

"Back to your house then?" I asked as I picked my helmet up off the handlebar.

He nodded and scratched his jaw absentmindedly. "Yeah." He paused and pursed his lips. "My mom said that my dad wants to meet you." He said this rather quickly and kind of under his breath, but I was still able to catch it.

The fact that my helmet slipped out of my grasp went unnoticed by me until it hit the asphalt with a sharp crack. "What?" I hissed, thinking that my ears had just played a very sick joke on me. Why in the world would Baralai's father want to meet me? Isn't meeting both the parents reserved for people that are dating?

Baralai's neck convulsed as he swallowed and he shrugged his shoulders, a worried look in his dark brown eyes. "I have no idea what my mom told him, so please don't assume anything. This is just as much a surprise to me as it is to you."

"You think?!" I exclaimed, my mind racing. "Does it look like I'm dressed to meet your father?" Sweats and flip-flops really weren't the right attire to meet a very successful businessman.

Baralai looked at what I was wearing again and a muscle in his neck twitched. Not a good sign. "He won't mind, really. My dad is really laid back. At least when he's not at the office."

I could tell he was making excuses to settle me down. That didn't help to calm my racing heart. I didn't even think wearing my best outfit would satisfy this man. I leaned over and snatched my helmet off the ground only so my shaking hands were occupied with something. "Well let's get going then. I don't want to keep them waiting."

I remembered how to get to Baralai's house so he didn't have to whisper directions in my ear every few minutes. I intentionally did the speed limit just so it would take us a little bit longer to get to his house. I was nervous, to say the least. Meeting his mother the other night was nothing. It was a tiny shadow in comparison to what was going to happen in a few minutes. I also had all my friends with me the other night to detract the attention away from me. Now I was all alone.

As we pulled into Baralai's driveway it felt like my heart was going to burst out of my ribcage and start bouncing around on the ground. I parked my bike next to the black sedan and killed the engine, immediately pulling my helmet off and trying in vain to fix my hair in one of my side mirrors. I hadn't styled my hair at all this morning and my bangs were laying over one side of my forehead in a haphazard mess. I tried to salvage what little of my dignity that was left while I still had the chance. Baralai was looking at me with wide concerned eyes as I set my helmet on the seat and pulled at my shirt. I stared down at my feet and cursed myself for my choice of footwear.

At least my toenails are painted... I thought with ire.

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly to try and calm myself. "Alright, let's just get this over with," I said as I marched up to Baralai's front door with him by my side.

He wrapped his hand around the door handle and looked back at me. "You ready?"

I swallowed the lump that had settled in my throat and nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be."

Baralai turned the handle and pushed the door open, letting me precede him inside. I had to bite down on my bottom lip when I saw the interior of his home to prevent my jaw from dropping to the floor. It looked like a museum more than the inside of a house. I stared down at the perfect coffee colored carpet and didn't even want to step on it. Baralai reassuringly patted my shoulder and pulled me into the living room, directing me to a plush chair.

"Sit here while I go find my parents," he said before disappearing.

As I sat there and waited in the crushing silence of Baralai's home, I couldn't stop my legs from bouncing uncontrollably. I thought that Baralai's father would be waiting just beyond the threshold as soon as we opened the door, but having to wait in the living room while he scoured the house to find his parents was even more unnerving. I thought I would surely go mad with the suspense of it all. The one thing I was befuddled about was the fact that Carmen had told her husband that she wanted him to meet me, not Rikku or Yuna. Just me. I had hardly said a word to her that night, – I thought I had been doing a good job at staying incognito – but now she wanted her husband to meet me like Baralai and I were somehow involved?

I sincerely hope she doesn't think that... But what if she does? That horrible thought crashed onto my shoulders like an immense load of bricks.

Yes, I had stolen a few glances at Baralai the other night when we were at his mother's bed and breakfast when I thought no one was looking, but now I was sure they hadn't made it past her watchful gaze like I thought they would. He is, after all, her only son.

Hushed voices coming from somewhere behind me – I couldn't even tell, the acoustics of the room made sound bounce around and reverberate like a cave – announced the arrival of Baralai and his parents. As soon as Baralai's father walked into the room, I jumped up from the chair, trying to be as courteous as I possibly could. I breathed an involuntary sigh of relief when I saw that Baralai's father was not wearing a suit and tie, but a comfortable looking pair of jeans and a dark green polo shirt. I was in awe of how alike Baralai and his father looked, dark tan skin and stark white hair included. They had definitely been cut from the same piece of marble that was for sure.

"Paine, I'd like you to meet my father, Darren," Baralai introduced as the man in question stepped forward to shake my hand.

"It's very nice to meet you, Sir," I said, shaking his hand and trying to keep my voice from wavering.

"The pleasure is all mine," he replied, flashing a smile identical to Baralai's. "Please, come sit down." He directed me over to one of the couches then sat down on a love seat across from me. Carmen joined her husband's side and Baralai sat next to me. I swallowed again to wet my dry throat, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable and even more self conscious.

"My wife has told me a lot about you and your group of friends, Paine, and I know I share her excitement over Baralai making good friends. Back in Bevelle...well it was a different story."

I glanced over at Baralai then and saw him leveling his father with a stare that could wilt flowers. I bit the inside of my bottom lip and turned my attention back to his parents. I had no idea what to say to them so instead I chose the first thing that popped into my head, which just happened to be about Baralai and a little bit of a white lie. "Gippal told me that he's shown a lot of interest in helping out with the technical part of our performances and so far he's done a really good job." I shut my mouth right there, afraid I would start rambling.

Darren smiled and met his son's eyes. "That's what we like to hear. We appreciate your help and it was very nice to meet you." Both him and Carmen rose from their seats, which meant our very short conversation had come to an end. I got up as well and shook their hands.

I almost jumped out of my skin when Baralai spoke. "I'll walk you out." His voice didn't even sound like what I remembered hearing all day today, but I knew that he was probably angry with his father over what he had said to me.

Once we were outside next to my motorcycle, I let Baralai pace around in front of me and collect his thoughts. I could tell he was conflicted; I could read it all over his face. As I watched him pace, my mind wandered back to what his father said about Baralai getting mixed up in the 'wrong crowd'. I actually found it unbelievable, even though I've only known him for a few days, that he would ever get involved with a bad group of people, but then I remembered that anything could happen with anybody and then I wasn't so surprised. Maybe getting him out of Bevelle is what helped him cut his ties with those people.

"I have to apologize for my dad," he said, stopping a few feet in front of my and lacing his fingers behind his head. "Sometimes he doesn't know when to let sleeping dogs lie." He paused and walked in a few slow circles before facing me again. "I would have preferred you find out about what happened while I was in Bevelle from me and not my dad. He's still not very happy with me about what happened."

I nodded and nibbled on the end of my tongue. I remembered what I had said to him earlier at the studio and I knew what I was about to say would sound extremely weird. "I know how hard it is to talk about the past. Believe me," I said, crossing my arms and staring down at my feet. "And I know that other people pushing you to talk about it only makes it worse. I'm not saying that I want you to tell me, that's up to you." I paused and took a deep breath. I was quickly digging myself into a hole and I needed to stop while I could still climb out. "Well, I'll see you later. I have more work to do at the studio tomorrow and tonight I'd like to get a good night's sleep."

Baralai bobbed his head in understanding as I got on my motorcycle and strapped my helmet on. Just as I was about to back out of his driveway and go home his voice stopped me. "Do you mind if I go with you again?" He asked, raising his voice so I could hear him.

I paused and flipped the visor of my helmet up. "You know, I'll have to think about that. I'll text you later tonight."

Baralai's eyes widened. "You still have my phone number?"

I frowned. Isn't that why he gave it to me in the first place? So I would have it?

"Um, yeah, you did give it to me after all," I pointed out.

He chuckled and dug the toe of his shoe into the ground. "Yeah."

I revved the engine as I began to slowly back out of his driveway. "So...talk to you later then."

"Okay," he said, waving at me as I turned around and sped off down the road.

The only thing I could think about the whole way home was: Now what am I going to tell him later?