By Jasmine Starlight
Full Summary: Yaoi/het. Neji/Sasu Sasuke's slightly mordant; Itachi just might be a sociopath. Maybe Gaara is from a broken home. Neji just may be in the closet. Maybe Naruto might be lonely. Maybe Kabuto needs someone to love. Maybe Kakashi might need someone to hold. Maybe Sakura might need real friends. Maybe Temari needs a reality check. Maybe Kankurou needs anger management. Maybe Jiraiya needs Tsunade. Maybe Orochimaru needs them both. Maybe Hinata needs freedom. Maybe Kiba might need acceptance. Maybe Ino needs confidence. Maybe Tenten needs medication. Perhaps Shikamaru needs love. Shino, quite possibly could need companionship. Maybe Tayuya is hiding behind her personality. Maybe Haku fears rejection. Maybe Kimimaro desires friendship. Maybe Lee is crying out for attention. Maybe Obito needs compassion.
I've had another brainstorm! And Shisui/Sakon!
Mwahahahahaha!
Most of these pairings seem to be turning out in the yaoi direction. Bah.
I had another brainstorm after the previous brainstorm, and it will be explained when I decide to use it. Bwahahahah!
Pairings:…Neji/Sasu…Kimimaro/Haku…Obito/Kakashi eventual…Itachi/Kakashi…then Itachi/Kabuto…perhaps Tenten/Kankurou…Naruto/Gaara…Orochimaru/Jiraiya/Tsunade…not sure about that one. Open to suggestions. I'm thinking of doing Ino/Shikamaru/Temari…but whatever works for you guys man…Kiba/Ukon! Zaku/Kin…Hinata/Shino…Eventual Ino/Chouji. Tayuya/Lee. Dosu/Kidoumaru…Zabuza/Haku…then…Zabuza/Kisame!
Is it bad that my characters appear in a secluded place together to make out?
Smoking is bad…but Kiba looks cool doing it. FAH!
I love Kiba/Ukon. That's why I replaced the question marks with exclamation! marks
I don't have a pairing for Sakura. Suggestions would be helpful.
CHAPTER FIVE
CHILDHOOD'S END
"Joke me something awful like
Kisses on the necks of "just friends"
We're the kids who feel
Like dead ends.
And I want to be known for my hits,
not just my misses.
I took a shot and didn't even come close.
At trust and love and hope."
---Fall Out Boy; I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)
§§§§§§§§§§§
Chat room #48781256218 has openedDeathisNoESCAPE has entered room
RedAsBlood09666 has entered room
RedAsBlood09666:…what are you doing for Christmas?
DeathisNoESCAPE:…nothing.
RedAsBlood09666:…
DeathisNoESCAPE:…why do you ask?
RedAsBlood09666: Just wondering.
DeathisNoESCAPE: you sound better.
RedAsBlood09666: I can't sound better if I've never spoken to you.
DeathisNoESCAPE: nIn.
RedAsBlood09666: Creative, you've found a way to give me the finger.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…so where do you go to school?
RedAsBlood09666?
DeathisNoESCAPE: assuming you even go to school, unless you're a 50-something year old man sitting at home in his underpants.
RedAsBlood09666: Chatty today aren't we?
DeathisNoESCAPE:…very funny.
RedAsBlood09666:…;)
DeathisNoESCAPE:…seriously though.
RedAsBlood09666: well, I do go to school. And I am not a 50-something year old man sitting at home in his underpants jerking off to this conversation.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…you've given me a brilliant idea. :D
RedAsBlood0966: going to ignore that in favor of keeping my sanity.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…well played.
RedAsBlood0966: are you drunk?
DeathisNoESCAPE:…nope, just misguided. Still haven't answered my question.
RedAsBlood09666:…go to Konoha HS.
DeathisNoESCAPE: shojo shock!
RedAsBlood09666:-P
DeathisNoESCAPE: I am a Junior.
RedAsBlood09666: Sophomore.
§§§§§§§§§§§
I have a bad feeling that coming back to school will be a headache, I am going to kill Dosu when I see him next.
Goddamnit! I have a freaking pounding headache and we still have to have to have that stupid Christmas party. I hate it when Uncle Hiashi networks. It's fucking retarded.
I think I won't be liking many parties since the one Ukon had, especially since I can't really remember what I was doing. I sort of remember zoning out during Spin The Bottle or whatever it was.
I remember walking outside to Ukon's funky garden and talking to that snarky Uchiha kid, but it kind of blurs after that. I have finger shaped bruises on the back of my neck, so I'm hoping that maybe we decided to compare eye-colors? (He does have fathomless black eyes HOLY SHIT DID I JUST WRITE THAT! OH FUCK. I must erase this right now, oh fuck its pen. They are fathomless, though. SHIT!)
Fuck, I don't even believe that, well at least I don't have any hickeys. Does that mean I gave him hickeys? Shitslice.
Sigh, what's worse? Being the hickey-maker or the hickey-recipient?
§§§§§§§§§§§
I am Akimichi Chouji, I like to eat. That's about all there is to me. I don't really care what other people think about how much I eat because that's my business.
I'm actually not that fat, my clothes just make me look that way. My family is full of people who are tremendously fat. I don't like the word 'fat'. Even though I think being thin is overrated, some of my relatives take it to the extreme, at the expense of their health.
I refuse to do that.
I figure once I can't see my balls I'll lose the weight, until then I'm just chubby. I do eat healthy foods. Spinach, tomatoes, broccoli, turkey, ground chicken. Anything really, my mom doesn't want me to have hypertension when I grow up, whatever that is.
It's still nice to know that my girth makes me unique. Who else can guard or block in sports like I do? Shikamaru sure as hell couldn't with his skinny ass.
I can tell you at least that much.
§§§§§§§§§§§
Hinata sighed boredly as she sat in the expansive living room of the Hyuuga mansion, there was nothing to do, and none of the guests had arrived yet.
Chat room SUCK ON THAT has been openedDeathisNoESCAPE:…I do know you.
RedAsBlood09666:…what do you want me to do about that?
Pearleyedgirl87 has entered room
RedAsBlood09666:…are you lost?
Pearleyedgirl87:…I'm not sure.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…then she's perfect!
RedAsBlood09666: ignore him, he's an idiot.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…that's the schizophrenic calling the homicidal maniac crazy, isn't it?
Pearleyedgirl87:…:-P
DeathisNoESCAPE: you can be secretary of state for our club.
Pearleyedgirl87:…what club?
RedAsBlood09666:…my father hates me and rues that day that his condom broke club.
Pearleyedgirl87:…O
DeathisNoESCAPE:…don't scare her off dumbass.
RedAsBlood09666:…whatever, we will not ask questions about where you came from or what you do because that's the whole point.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…we probably all go to the same school anyway, Konoha HS that is.
Pearleyedgirl87:…how do you figure?
RedAsBlood09666:…because that's usually how things work out. I'm a Sophomore, and dipshit is a Junior.
Pearleyedgirl87:…I am a Sophomore.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…what did I tell you?
Pearleyedgirl87:…lol
DeathisNoESCAPE: doing anything later?
Pearleyedgirl87:…I am having a party at my house that if your theory follows, you'll be attending. You better be there.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…I think I know who you are.
Pearleyedgirl87:…that was unusually forceful of me. O
RedAsBlood09666:…does that mean we have to reveal our secret identities too?
Pearleyedgirl87:…are you superheroes?
DeathisNoESCAPE:…
Pearleyedgirl87: I'm not going to ask anyone at the party about this, so you don't have to tell me anything.
RedAsBlood09666:…alright.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…on the off-chance that that does indeed happen, we should still chat and all just for kicks.
Pearleyedgirl87:…since I haven't been chatting with you two until five minutes ago and I would like to get to know you, via internet of course, I second that motion.
RedAsBlood09666:…I guess I have to third it.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…motion passes! Secretary take note of this moment. :D
Pearleyedgirl87:…getting right on that. :D
RedAsBlood09666:…you just wanted more people to boss around.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…VP screwdrivers!
Pearleyedgirl87:…lol
§§§§§§§§§§§
Gaara dejectedly tied his shoelaces as he and Kankurou prepared to drive to the Hyuuga fortress for their annual Christmas party.
"Aw, cheer up Gaara, that Uzumaki kid'll be there." Kankurou said blithely, as he lugged Gaara out the door, before pulling him into Temari's large SUV.
"Does everyone know about that?" Gaara asked crossly as he glared in Temari's direction.
"I didn't tell him anything." Temari said innocently.
"Liar." Kankurou mumbled under his breath as he buckled himself into the driver's seat. Temari looked at him sharply.
"What was that?" she demanded.
"Nothing." Kankurou said quickly as he pulled out of the driveway, "Hey, Gaara, who're we giving rides to again?" he asked nervously.
"Lee, Haku, Kimimaro, Naruto, Kabuto, Tenten, Tayuya, and Kin." Gaara recited dutifully.
"Will that many people fit in this car?"
"Probably not."
§§§§§§§§§§§
"Aha! Take that you smug bastard! Yeah!" Kiba exclaimed as his character pummeled Shino's into the ground, Hinata smiled when Shino's character pulled Kiba's character's still beating heart out.
"Fatality sucks." Kiba said sorely.
"Only when you're on the receiving end." Shino said as he put down his controller.
Hinata giggled quietly and Kiba made a face at Shino before the doorbell began ringing madly; Hinata swiftly got it before the maids could.
§§§§§§§§§§§
Neji sighed moodily as he nervously gulped his non-spiked punch, really what was there to be nervous about? The Uchiha kid would probably pretend like it had never happened and they could go on not knowing each other like they had before that point.
Who was he fooling? Obviously not Hanabi, who was not so artfully hidden behind a potted plant, preparing to jump out at the exact time when Neji-niisan was feeling the most disenfranchised.
Which happened to be now, she jumped out from behind the large fern and in front of Neji, who merely looked down at her and spilled his punch in mock surprise. "Hanabi, if you ever want to really scare me you should stop trying to scare me." Neji suggested calmly.
Hanabi frowned, "You suck." She said crossly before walking off. Neji smiled slightly, deflating Hanabi's big head was one of the small things that Neji liked about life.
Then the doorbell rang and Neji's slightly better countenance went to shit.
§§§§§§§§§§§
"Do we really have to go to every party of the holiday season?" Sasuke asked darkly as they pulled into the Hyuuga's winding driveway.
"Yes." Itachi replied distractedly.
"That's fucked up."
"Whatever you say ototo."
Sasuke frowned, "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing is wrong with me." Itachi insisted as parked the car.
Sasuke was unmoved, "So we're back to this again, ever since we came back from Ukon's party you've been weird."
"Are you sure it's not your imagination?" Itachi asked bemusedly as they walked past snow drifts toward the house.
Sasuke rolled his eyes.
§§§§§§§§§§§
"Whaddya mean you usually jog to this party?" Tayuya demanded of Lee as they drove to the party in Temari's car.
"It is good endurance training!" Lee said as he smiled widely, Tenten put on sunglasses.
"For what, catching pneumonia?" Tayuya said darkly.
"The springtime of youth!" Thumbs up. Kankurou adjusted the rearview mirror to send Lee's blinding smile back at him, temporarily shutting him up. The rest of the car sighed in relief.
"What the fuck is that?"
Temari struggled to repress a smile, maybe Lee would gain some common sense from Tayuya.
"Hey, Fuzzy-Brows! Are you dating the loudmouth over here?" Naruto demanded from where he was squished between Tenten and Gaara, who suddenly didn't feel so squished any more.
"Hey! Who are you calling Fuzzy Brows dumbass!" Tayuya demanded angrily.
"Who're you calling a dumbass!"
"You, you dumbass!"
"Tayuya-san! Picking fights is not youthful!" Lee exclaimed firmly, flashing another thumbs up, Naruto sighed, "Fuzzy-Brows! She started it!" Naruto whined.
"That is irrelevant!" Lee said preparing to launch into another lecture of youth.
Kankurou sighed and Kin tried to change the subject, "So are you and Lee going steady now?" she said cheerfully.
"Che!" Tayuya replied and looked out the window, Tenten hi-fived her.
§§§§§§§§§§§
Kiba boredly kicked his feet as he sat on Hinata's enormous leather couch, no one he really knew was here yet, sighing he decided to get something from the steaming buffet tables, bumping into Ukon as he went.
"Sorry!" he called out as he made his way toward the chips, Ukon barely had time to look up before Kiba was obscured by several hungry people.
He sighed before turning to Kisame, "What were you saying again?"
"…didn't you watch the game that was on TV last night?"
There's always a game that's on TV, be more specific Sharky.
"The football game?" Tayuya said as she pushed her way into their circle, dragging Lee along with her.
"Yeah, that's the one." Kisame said grinning wolfishly.
"Number 29 got beat up so bad, the kuso nezumi!" Tayuya exclaimed viciously, Lee took note of the vast if expanse of ceiling, "So, Lee-san, how've you been?" Ukon asked blandly as he ignored the loud yelling that was erupting from the conversation not two feet away from him.
"Youthful, Ukon-senpai!" he said vibrantly.
"You don't have to call me senpai." Ukon said darkly as he swirled his soda in it's bright plastic cup.
"But I want to Senpai!" Thumbs up, cue blinding smile, Ukon turned to observe if Tayuya was as blinded as he was, but Tayuya was reminiscing about the brutal facets of the game without missing a beat.
"Well, Lee as funny as this conversation will sound when I write it on my blog tonight, I must go." Ukon said dryly as he sauntered off.
"NICE MEETING YOU SENPAI!"
§§§§§§§§§§§
Kiba had finally escaped the large crowd that congregated around the buffet table and onto the balcony. He boredly kicked at a pile of snow that sat unceremoniously on the stone floor. "It's really cold out here." He remarked to himself as he fumbled for a cigarette. "I didn't know you smoked." Or not.
Kiba nearly set his nose on fire in surprise, "Oh, it's just you Senpai."
Ukon frowned, "Why does everyone keep calling me that?" he said as he took a seat next to Kiba on the stone bench, who was now trying to blow smoke rings.
"Because you are." Kiba replied distractedly.
"But it makes me feel old."
"But you're not."
"But my name is Ukon."
"Usually you're standing next to Sakon."
"No I'm not."
"Oh really? Must be my imagination then." Kiba said as he frowned at his lopsided circles.
Ukon rolled his eyes and irritatedly snatched the cig out of Kiba's frozen fingers and proceeded to blow a perfect smoke ring, "Hey!" Kiba exclaimed his mouth hanging slightly open.
Ukon snorted and placed the cigarette back in his mouth, as he turned to look at the sky, he smirked as Kiba started coughing and sputtering. "I thought you were supposed to be the nice one." Kiba said crossly as he held his throat.
"Nice? Hardly." Ukon remarked as he crossed his arms across his chest. Kiba looked at him oddly, "Did I hit a nerve?"
"No." Ukon muttered childishly.
"I think I did." Kiba persisted.
"Good for you." Ukon said supinely.
"So it bothers you? The being referred to as one entity?" Kiba pressed.
"Maybe."
"Well, in the future when you steal my cigarette on a snowy balcony at Hinata's house I'll make sure to not refer to you with any affiliation to Sakon."
Ukon felt the corner of his lips turn up, but he stole Kiba's cig again anyway.
"Do you wear lipstick?" Kiba asked suddenly changing the subject.
Ukon blew clouds of smoke out his nose, "Yeah."
"It's a nice turquoise." Kiba remarked goofily.
Ukon snorted again, "Are you drunk again?"
"What do you mean again? I wasn't anywhere near you when I was drunk at your house."
"You did collapse onto my bed." Ukon pointed out.
"That was your room."
"I believe so, yes."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"You have nice posters." Kiba remarked mutely.
"Thanks."
"You wear nice cologne."
"What?"
"Nice cologne."
"Are you saying that you smelled the bed?"
"It smelled nice for once." Ukon said defensively. "It's my bed I can smell it whenever I want."
"I'm not saying you shouldn't smell your bed, so you don't have to get so defensive."
Ukon sighed and slumped on the bench, "I'm really cold."
"Wanna another cigarette?"
"Eh."
"I'll take that as a yes." Kiba said as he lit Ukon a cigarette, Ukon was enthralled by how the cheap lighter caught the brown in Kiba's eyes.
"You know this may be the tear-inducing boredom talking but you don't look half bad up close." Ukon said around the crooked fag hanging out of his mouth.
Kiba's eyebrows went up, "Isn't there supposed to be a platoon of brawn-over-brain jocks around the corner ready to beat you up over that very homosexual statement."
"They won't beat me up." Ukon said waving his hand.
"That's comforting."
Ukon sighed, "Hey." Kiba jabbed him in the side.
"What."
"Your bed doesn't smell bad." Kiba jabbed him again, Ukon caught the hand and held it in his own.
"You're really cold." Ukon heard himself say.
"Really? Why don't you warm me up?"
"Koohai, are you hitting on me?"
"Just tryin' to clean out the closet."
Ukon sniffed, "I'm not in the closet. No one ever asked me is all."
"The lipstick was a dead giveaway."
Ukon exhaled his perfect smoke rings onto Kiba's face, "Don't be so cranky."
"Who's cranky? I'm just having a smoke." Ukon said plainly.
"Riiiight, and Ino's not mean she's just on her period…constantly."
Ukon sniggered, "Girls suck." He said dumbly letting his cigarette fall from his fingers onto the hard floor.
"Not all of them, just the ones that expect you to call them after you've slept with them."
"…"
"That was a joke."
"I knew that." Ukon couldn't quell the rush of relief that flooded through him.
"Like a girl could satisfy me."
"And a boy could?" Ukon found himself asking.
"Are you offering?"
"Would you like me to?"
"Before that, maybe we should explore the wonderful invention called the kiss."
"…"
"At this point you should kiss me." Kiba said sardonically.
"Shut up."
"Why don't you make me?"
Ukon rolled his eyes and acquiesced, when they broke apart for air Kiba ran a hand through his messy hair. "Hell yeah, that's more like it." Ukon quirked a lavender eyebrow Kiba cleared his throat awkwardly.
§§§§§§§§§§§
Shino pointedly moved away from the balcony, seeing as he'd already found Kiba but he'd been making out with someone. Shino sighed tiredly, "Shino-kun did you find him?" Hinata asked.
"No." He said quickly.
"Did you check the balcony?"
"No."
"I'll go check t-then."
"No! He's not out there Hinata-chan!" Shino said anxiously.
"H-How do you know that if you didn't check?"
"I just know, because Kiba and I are like this." He made a 'V' and pointed toward his eyes with them. Did I just do that? IDIOT!
"Okay." Hinata said quietly.
I AM SUCH AN IDIOT! NOW HINATA'S GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH NARUTO, WHO'S PROBABY GAY ANYWAY, AND I'M GOING TO KILL KIBA!
END
Tidal rabbit- mmmm…early morning crack.
Kirin Kage the Shadow Girl- of course there are things you've never heard of, unless you've heard everything.
Rikaa- oh well, there goes that, I don't know their real last names, and generally Sabaku is what is used.
Chibi-Crysti- thank you
Lala to the power of 2- I read that Kidoumaru/Ino fic! I loved it. But this fic is more cracktacular because of all the pairings. It's high school, the preferred mating territory of angst! Kabuto/Itachi can never hurt…nosebleed.