Chapter 6

The Art of Avoidance, Kind Of

I ignored Baralai for the next three days, which was relatively hard to do because he was in two of my classes – math and P.E. – and I passed him in the hall all day long. He sent me a few text messages, but I didn't answer him. I figured now would be a good time to put some distance between us. The fact that we had grown so close so fast scared the hell out of me. I said and did things around him that I normally wouldn't do, even with Yuna and Rikku. I felt a connection with him, but I didn't want it.

I tried ignoring Rikku too, which is an impossible feat for any normal person. If the girl were an inanimate object, she'd be the brightest, most obscene party favor in existence. Even I can't fight off her powers of persuasion for long though, especially if she has Yuna to back her up. I begrudgingly accepted her apology, letting her know if she ever did something like that to me again I'd shave all her hair off while she was sleeping. That seemed to get her attention.

It was Thursday afternoon and I had successfully completed another school day without talking to Baralai. I was exhausted. P.E. had kicked my ass today and all I wanted to do was go home and climb into a nice, warm bath, but the studio was calling my name and I had no choice but to answer it.

I was still working on Baralai's song even though I wasn't talking to him for the time being. I promised him that I would work on it and I was going to keep my promise, even though I didn't really want to. I had finished his sheet music so I could begin recording it whenever I felt like it, but I needed some practice first.

So that's what I did when I got there. I went through the guitar and percussion notes a half dozen times a piece and felt confident that I wouldn't mess up when I got around to recording them. I was just about to start going over the bass notes when I stopped short. I suddenly didn't want to practice anymore. In all honesty, the thought of practicing more made me scowl down at the bass guitar in my hands.

I was moving towards the piano before I even knew what I was doing. I traded the bass guitar for my acoustic and sat down behind the piano. Yuna had written the song that I had in my mind, which was surprising because of the sad, lamenting tone of both the lyrics and the music. The main instruments were the piano and acoustic guitar, but I couldn't decide which one to play over the other. The piano notes didn't sound right on the guitar and the guitar notes didn't sound right on the piano.

I guess that's what I get for writing it the way I did, I thought as I pulled the cover off the piano keys.

I scooted back far enough so the guitar could sit on my lap with enough room for me to reach the piano when the time came. I hunched over the guitar and placed my fingers in the correct position for the first chord then lost myself in the music, my voice drowning out the tornado in my head.

This is what I did for months after my parents died. Singing was the only way that I could get rid of the pain, at least for a little while. Just sitting down in front of the piano and making up the music as I went was sometimes enough to get my mind off things. Now I did it to help me think.

I was sitting on the proverbial fence with how I wanted to resolve the issue with Baralai. I could either keep ignoring him and cut him out of my life or I could just see what plays out. I actually didn't want to totally ignore him, but I also didn't want to spend all my time with him either. I grumbled in frustration as I reached the piano solo and watched as my fingers crawled across the ivory keys. I didn't even have to think about which keys to hit. My hands knew exactly where to go. I slid my eyes shut, only thinking about the here and now.

After the piano solo was over my hands immediately jumped back to the guitar and I finished the song. Once my voice was no longer filling the air, the silence that settled around me was deafening. I briefly considered going back to practicing the sheet music for Baralai's song again, but tossed the idea out as quickly as it had entered my mind. I didn't have a deadline for his song so I could take as long as I wanted. I turned to prop my guitar up against the side of the piano and gasped in fright when I saw Baralai standing in the doorway.

"Holy shit, Baralai!" I exclaimed, gripping the edge of the piano to prevent myself from falling off the bench. "How in the hell did you get in here? And how did you know I was here?" I hadn't told Rikku or Yuna that I was going to be here and I certainly hadn't told Baralai.

Baralai laughed into his hand, thinking my flustered state was funny. "Well the door was unlocked and I called Rikku to ask if she knew where you were." He stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked towards me, leveling me with a stare that I couldn't decipher. "Did you write that song?" he asked, nodding his head towards the piano.

"No, Yuna wrote it," I answered, looking away from him to stare down at the piano keys. I didn't exactly know what to say to him so the silence hung in the air between us like a bad odor.

My fingers began to twitch so instead of continuing to sit in an awkward silence I placed my hands back over the piano keys and began playing a random melody to fill the air. I closed my eyes, trying to figure out a way to diffuse this choking atmosphere that had manifested around us. My breath caught in my throat when he sat down beside me on the piano bench. His body pressed up against mine, making my jean clad legs tingle. I let my lids slide open and looked at him out of the corner of my eyes. The white polo shirt and dark blue jeans he was wearing complimented his tan skin, making his white hair stand out that much more. I wanted to scoot away from him, but I was already as far over as I could get.

I stopped playing and put my hands in my lap. "Is there a specific reason why you came over here?" I inquired, talking at the piano keys and not him.

"I just want to know what I did wrong." His voice was low, like he thought someone would overhear our conversation.

I groaned to myself then rested my elbows on the piano keys, the jumble of notes sounding too loud in the quiet room. "I don't know what you want me to say." I lifted my head and met his gaze, my red eyes boring into his brown. "I hardly even know you. Why should I explain myself to you?" I paused to move away from him, unable to handle our close proximity any longer. I laced my fingers behind my head and leaned against the back of the piano, facing away from him. "'Friend' status is as far as our relationship is going. No more coming to the studio with me and I won't be working on your song again for a while." I turned around to gage his reaction, leveling him with a hard glare to let him know I wasn't joking. "Sound good to you?"

He stared at me for a few seconds before nodding his head once. His expression was once again undecipherable. "Yeah, sounds fine," he agreed. I was surprised that he hadn't tried to convince me otherwise. I didn't think he was going to be so submissive. In fact, I was caught off guard. The snappy comeback I had in mind no longer applied.

"Alright then," I replied, taking a few steps towards the door. "Um, how did you get here?"

"I walked."

"You've gotta be shitting me."

He laughed and shook his head, his white hair fluttering around his head. "I wish I were."

I clamped my teeth down on my tongue to keep from laughing myself. "I'll drive you home then. I'm done here anyways."

He nodded and followed me out of the recording room, waiting patiently for me to turn off all the lights and sound equipment before we stepped out into the cool Luca evening. I wasn't so cruel that I would make him walk all the way back home. Contrary to what Rikku believes half the time, I don't have icicles growing around my heart.

When I dropped him off at home I told him I'd see him at school, but just as I was turning my motorcycle around his voice stopped me. "My ex is gonna be here tomorrow. She's spending the weekend here with a few friends." He paused and I had the impulse to rev my engine to drown out what else he was going to say, but I didn't. "I'm thinking about bringing her to your show tomorrow night."

I had the mind to flip my visor down just so he wouldn't see my facial expression, but I didn't do that either. If he thought he was going to get a rise out of me by mentioning his ex-girlfriend he was wrong. It wasn't my problem that he wanted to meet up with the same girl that dumped him back in Bevelle. "That's nice to know," I snapped, my voice dripping with venom.

I sped off before he could say anything else. I just wanted to get home.

I breathed an enormous sigh of relief after my garage door closed behind me. After I made a couple sandwiches and a large cup of soda, I sat down in front of my television, allowing myself to relax while I watched a movie I remembered watching when I was little, back when things were less complicated.

After the movie was over, I tried to be productive by doing some housework, but I couldn't focus. So I lay down on my couch with my music player, turned the volume up as high as it would go and shut my mind off from the rest of the world. I dug my phone out of my pocket and tossed it in the direction of the coffee table, not caring at all if someone tried to get a hold of me in the next few hours.

I'm not sure how long I laid there, but I fell asleep at one point during the night. When I woke up my music was no longer playing and the digital display on my DVD player read 5:34 a.m. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I was seeing straight and sat up, but the numbers didn't change. I instantly began to wonder when I had fallen asleep. It had probably been rather early because I felt rested.

I stretched lazily and got up from my couch, placing my music player on the coffee table and picking up my phone. I rolled my eyes when I saw that I had seven missed calls and just as many text messages, all from Rikku. Frankly, I wasn't surprised. Whenever I don't want to talk to anyone is when she tries to call me. All of her messages, both voice and text, simply instructed me to call her. So that's what I did, even though it was almost six o'clock in the morning.

"Hello?" she answered, her voice thick with sleep.

"Good morning, Rikku. What did you need me so urgently for last night?"

"Oh!" And just like that she was wide awake. "I wanted you to come over for a final fit of your costumes. What in the world were you doing last night?"

"I fell asleep on my couch listening to music," I replied, rubbing my eyes as I walked down the hall towards my room.

"Oh…well can you come over now before school? I want to make sure all the measurements are correct."

"Sure. Let me take a shower and change my clothes first." I didn't even know why she needed to double check my measurements. She knew those like the back of her hand.

"Alright, see you soon!" she exclaimed, hanging up a second later.

I got to Rikku's about forty-five minutes later. As soon as she shut her bedroom door behind me she shoved a pile of costumes into my arms and directed me towards her bathroom.

"We only have a little over an hour before we have to be at school so don't take forever."

"Rikku, if you have to tell me something like that you don't know me at all." I smirked at her before shutting the door.

After trying on each costume, I stepped out of the bathroom so Rikku could inspect me. She made some minor, quick alterations to each of them then told me to leave them in her closet until we got out of school.

A horn honked outside and Rikku gasped, gathering her school books in a hurry. "Yunie's here already?" she said, snatching her phone from her bedside table. She squeaked when she saw the time. "It's after seven thirty, Paine! We gotta go!"

Whereas Rikku was scrambling about in a frenzy, I followed her out her front door much more calmly. I knew that we weren't going to be late. Yuna waved at me from the driver seat of her car as Rikku jumped into the passenger seat. Yuna waited for me to get on my motorcycle and back out of Rikku's driveway before pulling away from the curb and driving off with me close behind.

I saw the shiny black sedan that was carrying Baralai pull into the school lot and drop him off in front of the main office. I looked away from him when his gaze found my motorcycle as we parked in our usual spots. Both Gippal and Tidus were already waiting for us.

"What took you guys so long?" Tidus asked, pulling Yuna against his side after she shut her car door.

"Yeah, for a second we thought you were going to be late," Gippal remarked, grunting as Rikku leaped from the car and into his arms.

"Sorry, it was my fault," Yuna answered, shooting both boys an apologetic glance. "I was running late this morning."

"Oh, Dr. P!" Gippal exclaimed, whipping around to face me. "Can you meet me at the stadium after we get out? I want you to get some extra practice with your guitar."

I nodded. The few songs that I was playing on the guitar tonight needed to have the bugs worked out. "Alright, I'll pick us up something to eat on my down there. I have a backpack in my locker I can use."

"And you have the mix right, Riks?" he inquired, kissing Rikku's blonde mess of hair.

"Yep, in Yunie's glove compartment," she replied.

Something behind me caught Gippal's eye and I knew without turning around that Baralai was coming towards us. "Hey, Lai!" he shouted, waving at him.

I heard his footsteps stop next to my motorcycle and I turned my head just a fraction to look at him. Gippal had asked him a question that I hadn't heard and he was answering him. His hand was resting on top of my handlebars and a folded piece of paper was just barely jutting out of his hand. I frowned, wondering for a moment what it was before shaking that thought from my head and turning my attention back to my friends.

I sighed as I glanced between Yuna and Rikku as they clung to their significant others. Most times I almost felt left out. I was the only one in our group that was alone. I didn't have a family or a boyfriend.

I don't need the latter to be happy, I thought. I certainly didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone. You're going to have to learn to trust a guy eventually, Paine, my mind told me.

The bell signaling the start of classes pulled me out of my thoughts. Right when I pushed away from my motorcycle I felt a small tug on my back right pocket. I whirled around, getting ready to punch whoever had the balls to do that, but all I saw was Baralai walking away with his hands in his pockets. The rest of my friends didn't notice my delay and continued walking through the parking lot. I reached into my back pocket as I slowly began to follow them, frowning when my fingers found the piece of paper that Baralai had been holding earlier.

My eyes momentarily rested on his retreating back, my mind contemplating all the different things he could have written on that paper. I stared down at it as I zig-zagged though the parked cars, wondering if I should even open it. I exhaled the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding as I stuffed the note in my pocket.

Once I was seated in my desk in my first class – English – I pulled the note out of my pocket and opened it.

I promise I'll behave. If I text you, will you answer?

A smirk curled up one corner of my mouth as I glanced at the clock. I still had a few seconds before class started. I quickly opened my phone and sent a quick one word text:

Yes.