Chapter 10

Drowning in Ice Water

(Yuna)

By the time we reached Mt. Gagazet, my heart was fluttering not from the long walk but from anticipation. Would Paine still be alive? From what Kimarhi had told us her injuries were gruesome and he had been surprised she had survived the night. I felt my chest tighten at that horrible thought. All of us could possibly have to relive her 'death' all over again and I wasn't so sure we would be able to handle it a second time. I looked over my shoulder at Baralai. He had been keeping pace with Kimarhi almost the entire way through the Calm Lands, but had slowed down and fell in step beside Gippal and Tidus. It was like the fire of hope that had been burning so brightly within him just a little while ago had turned into a smoldering ember. I knew that if she died for real and he had to stand next to her body as the life slowly drained out of her, he would never be the same again.

I involuntarily shivered, but the sudden chill I felt wasn't from the cold. I prayed for the sake of Baralai's sanity and the rest of us that she was going to survive.

I slipped the hood of my sweater over my head as another frigid gust of wind blew down from the snowy peaks. We were just starting to see snow decorating the sand colored stone and it was getting colder with every step we took. Kimarhi slowed down until I caught up with him and he examined me with narrowed eyes.

"Paine strong. Kimarhi confident that she will wake."

I tried my best to smile at him even though it felt like I was being torn apart inside. "Thank you for taking such good care of her."

Kimarhi's bright eyes turned sad and he shook his head. "Kimarhi failed to keep Paine safe. Kimarhi deeply sorry."

In addition to how she had been injured, he had also explained the attack on the village and how Paine had tried to help him. None of us had even considered blaming him for what happened to her. It wasn't his fault that those monsters had attacked the village. I slipped my small hand into his paw and squeezed his long fingers. "Don't feel that way. Paine's father trained her in sword fighting. If you would have been hurt as a result of her not helping, she wouldn't have been able to live with herself."

This didn't seem to alleviate his guilt any. He was ashamed and angry with himself, I knew. He wouldn't feel better until Paine recovered. We fell silent then and he continued to walk beside me even though he could have easily pulled away. He was built to walk in the snow that had suddenly gone from a little less than an inch to almost four. My feet were getting very cold.

It took another five minutes for us to reach the village and what I saw took my breath away. Never in my life had I seen a way of living that was so…uncomplicated. Their dwellings were beautiful in their simplicity. I could tell the Ronsos took great pride in their village. I smiled at them as we walked, trying to get as much enjoyment out of the Ronso village as I could before I saw Paine.

Kimarhi suddenly stopped next to a hut near the perimeter of the village. He stood in front of the entry way and crossed his arms over his broad chest. "Paine inside. Not much room. Who will go first?"

My eyes immediately went to Baralai, who was looking at Kimarhi like he would go insane if he didn't see her. "I'm going," he said, his voice urgent. I could see his fingers twitching at his sides in anticipation.

Rikku laid her hand on my shoulder. "Go with him, Yunie," she whispered into my ear.

I nodded and looked into Kimarhi's eyes. "I'll go too."

He inclined his head and pulled the blanket aside far enough for Baralai and I to enter. I had no idea what I was about to see so I prepared myself for anything. The lighting inside the hut was minimal enough to see by. It was also very warm. By the time I had taken my sweater off Baralai was already kneeling beside where Paine was lying. I held my breath as I slowly walked towards them. All the preparing I had done in anticipation of this moment had pretty much been for nothing. I still wasn't ready for this.

I gulped when my eyes settled on her face. She looked so peaceful, as if she were only sleeping. The only thing out of place that I could see on her was unnaturally sunken cheekbones and sickly purple bruises underneath her eyes. I caught myself willing her to wake up, wishing my desperate thoughts would reach her. I kneeled down next to Baralai and looked at his face with guarded eyes. He was cradling her right hand with both of his and staring at her face. The fire light was reflecting off his eyes, making his brown irises turn burnt orange. I rested my hand on his shoulder, trying to offer some meager reassurance.

"I'm not moving from this spot," Baralai said. He met my gaze and I was surprised by the intensity of his stare. "I hope you don't mind."

I gaped at him and fumbled for a few seconds to find the right words. "Of course. I understand." As Baralai turned back to look at Paine's serene face I knew then that his sanity was hanging by a thread, more so than the rest of us. If she never woke up I was scared that it would completely destroy him. I squeezed his shoulder to get his attention, but he didn't look at me. "I'll go let everyone know what's going on."

He nodded stiffly, clutching her limp hand in front of his face. I reluctantly got up and left him alone. My friends were gone when I walked out of the hut. I looked around in confusion as I put my sweater back on. It felt like it had gotten even colder, but I realized that was only because I had just come from a toasty warm hut. I briefly wished I could go back inside, but if I spent any more time with Baralai I knew I would slowly begin to lose my sanity just like him.

As I was looking to the right I spotted Kimarhi waving his paw in the air a few yards away from me. I jogged towards him, wrapping my arms around myself to try and keep the chill at bay. By the time I shuffled inside the much larger hut with Kimarhi following closely behind, my teeth were chattering. I smiled down at my friends as they turned their heads to welcome me. They were all sitting around a small wooden table, sipping warm drinks from stone cups. They all frowned simultaneously, the same question reflected in all of their eyes. I sat down in between Tidus and Rikku, accepting the small stone cup from the elderly Ronso across from me. I thanked her and sipped from the cup, pleasantly surprised by how flavorful the tea was.

"So where's Lai?" Gippal asked, setting his cup down on the table.

"He wants to stay with Paine. I'm guessing you guys can go see her whenever you want." I looked at Kimarhi and he nodded his head once.

"Did she look…alright?" Tidus asked, wincing at his own choice of words.

I sent him a sympathetic smile, knowing he was trying, as I grabbed his hand and laced our fingers. "Honestly, she looked like she was just sleeping. She was breathing fine, I think. She might be in a coma."

Grim expressions fell over everyone's faces as the female Ronso watched us with intelligent eyes. I could almost hear what thoughts were going through my friends' minds. Paine's parents had been mortally injured in a car crash, but they had both been in deep comas before they passed away. They had never woken up and the same thing could very well happen to her. Paine refused to admit that her parents died in the hospital though. In her opinion, the crash had killed them. Seeing them slowly wither away in their hospital beds under the sickly florescent lights had been so hard to watch. It had been even harder for Paine. She had loved her parents very much.

Rikku looked up at the old Ronso suddenly, determination painted all over her face. "There has to be something we can do!" she exclaimed, her voice raspy. "We can't just sit back and watch her die!"

The elderly Ronso's eyes softened and she folded her hands in her lap. "Midia think the only thing we can do is wait. Midia also think that Paine's spirit strong enough to find her way."

"So there really is nothing we can do," she whispered, her shoulders sagging slightly. Her voice was so broken that my eyes immediately started watering.

I grabbed her hand and squeezed it, not surprised to see fresh tears welling up in her eyes when she looked at me. "I know what we can do," I began. "We can stay positive and not give up hope. Being negative won't help Paine wake up. We need to be strong for her."

Gippal nodded and grabbed Rikku's other hand. "Yuna's right, Riks. I don't think Dr. P would like it if she knew we were falling apart over her."

So that's what we did. We stayed positive and we waited. I managed to get a hold of my father and tell him what was really going on. He was worried, but didn't order me home. He said he would call everyone's parents and let them know what was happening so we could be excused from school. Our high school was uptight about absences and I was worried that we would lose our credits and not be able to graduate. My dad reassured me that, because of the circumstances, he was confident that we would be excused.

"Don't take too long," he advised. "I can only cover for you for so long."

"Thanks, Dad," I said before I hung up.

It had been almost a week since we had arrived at Mt. Gagazet and Paine hadn't shown any signs of improvement. Baralai was constantly by her side, barely eating and sleeping even less. All of us were worried about him because we needed to return to Luca and we already knew that he wasn't going to come with us. We had to face the facts though. We couldn't wait around until she woke up; we just didn't have that kind of time. We had already decided on returning and the only thing left to do was convince Baralai to come with us.

And, of course, I was the one chosen for the task.

This morning it was unnaturally cold, even for the sacred mountain. A snow storm had blown through the previous night, leaving the entire valley covered in a few extra inches of snow. Now the snow reached almost to my knees, making the going even more difficult. I sighed in both relief and exasperation when I reached the small hut Baralai and Paine were inside of. I cleared some of the snow away from the doorway before entering.

The small fire in the corner was only smoldering, making it difficult to see, so I left one corner of the blanket folded back to give the hut a small amount of lighting. I rubbed my hands together to get the feeling back in my fingers and stared down at Baralai, still nestled beneath his thick fur blankets fast asleep. Since he had chosen to stay with Paine, the Ronso had been gracious enough to make him a bed. As I got closer to him I noticed that his left hand was still gripping Paine's right like it was a lifeline. I kneeled down beside him and gently shook him awake. He jumped, more than likely thinking it was Paine that had touched him, and whipped his head around to look at her. His shoulders slumped when he saw she was still unconscious.

"Baralai, it's me," I whispered.

"Hi, Yuna," he mumbled dejectedly, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"We need to return to Luca. I think you should – "

"No!" he exclaimed, cutting me off before I had a chance to finish. "I told you I'm not leaving! I mean it!" Then he backed up towards Paine, blocking her body with his like I was going to harm her.

I sighed in defeat, knowing I was fighting a losing battle. Gippal and Tidus would have to drag him out kicking and screaming if he wouldn't come willingly. I was just about to throw caution to the wind and attempt to beg with him when a better idea popped into my head. "Baralai, you know as well as I do that it's not a good sign that Paine is still unconscious. We need to get her back to Luca and the only way we can do that is by going home and letting someone besides our parents know she's here. She needs medical attention and the Ronso can't give her what she needs. Baralai, she could possibly be in a coma. If we don't get her back to Luca she could die, for real this time." I let my words hang in the air between us, confident that he would do the right thing.

He averted his eyes and stared down at the ground for many long moments then turned his head to look down at Paine. His throat convulsed as he swallowed and when he met my eyes again I could see fresh tears beginning to well up in the corners of his eyes. "I can't really explain what I'm feeling right now. I'm frozen with this strange fear that she's going to die and I'll never be able to talk to her again, never be able to tell her how I feel about her." He paused and took a deep breath to try and calm himself. "I just can't believe how much that scares me."

"I'm scared too, Baralai. We all are. Come back to Luca with us so we can get her the proper help."

He nodded and looked down at her once more. "I'll be back, I promise," he whispered to her, softly caressing her cheek with the pads of his fingers. He rose unsteadily to his feet and followed me out of the hut, not looking back even once.

The guys were happy to see Baralai again. They had barely seen him all week besides when they had visited Paine and I knew that being back with everyone would help his anxiety. After our short reunion, I went to find Kimarhi. The Ronso Healer had told me he was in his own hut this morning and gave me directions on how to get there. It took me a while of wandering aimlessly before I eventually found Kimarhi's hut. It was small but cozy, a perfect dwelling for someone like him.

"I have some questions for you, Kimarhi," I began, sitting down across from him.

He nodded, indicating for me to continue, as he handed me a cup of tea.

"Me and my friends need to return to Luca. Would you and the other Ronso feel insulted if we brought help back to take Paine home?" I bit my lip and waited with bated breath for his answer.

Kimarhi's expression changed then and almost resembled a smile. "Yuna and friends could never insult Ronso. Kimarhi think Yuna should do everything she can to save Paine."

I smiled and felt myself relax for the first time in days. Things were finally starting to turn around.

(Baralai)

I had to say good bye to Paine just one more time before we left. I tried to persuade myself not to go back, but I couldn't stay away. I wanted to stay with her so badly, but I knew that going to get her help was the best thing that I could do. I had lived for an entire week thinking that she had died and I was willing to damn myself to the deepest corner of purgatory if there was any way I could save her. I was embarrassed to admit to myself that I had become paranoid over the fact that she could die at any moment without warning. Good thing my hair was already white.

I cautiously stepped back inside the cramped hut that I had called home for the last week like I would wake Paine up if I made too much noise and secured the blanket to keep out the chill. Kimarhi had restarted the fire a short time ago so it was quite warm, a welcome change from the frigid cold outside.

My breath caught in my throat as all the fears that had run through my head from the previous week came back to haunt me. I had told myself I wouldn't take too long before I came in, that I would say good bye and leave, but I was quickly losing my resolve. I could practically feel my will power crumbling beneath my feet. My knees lost the ability to hold me up and I unceremoniously flopped down beside her. I laid down on my side, propping myself up on my elbow, as I stared at her. My paranoia snuck up on me and I had to fight the impulse that told me to stay here with her.

I leaned down and pressed my lips to her forehead, unable to stop a couple stray tears from leaking out of my eyes. I couldn't really understand why I was acting like this. The worry I was feeling over leaving her was quickly being replaced with a strong urgency to get her help. I fisted a hand in her short hair and swallowed my anguish, quickly regaining my composure before I went to rejoin my friends. I struggled to my feet and unhooked the blanket from the wall then pushed it aside.

Looking back at her one last time I whispered, "I'll see you soon."

When I rejoined our group, a couple of Ronso were there with five humongous golden chocobos. I felt my shoulders sag with relief; I had not been looking forward to walking all the way back to Yuna's car.

"Hey, Lai!" Gippal shouted, waving at me from astride one of the large birds. His shout had startled the poor thing and it almost tossed him off its back, but one of the Ronsos quickly calmed it down.

I chuckled and waved back before stuffing my hands inside my sweater. I definitely wouldn't miss this place. Once Paine was safely back in Luca, I would probably never come here again.

"How is she?" Yuna asked, concern filling her bi-colored eyes.

I shrugged, trying to keep my frazzled emotions in check. "No change," I muttered, accepting the reins of a chocobo from one of the Ronsos.

She nodded, biting down on her bottom lip.

We left then without wasting any more time. Now that we were on chocobos the crossing was much easier. It only took us half an hour instead of a couple hours if we had been walking. I couldn't help the smile that crept onto my face when I saw Yuna's car materialize a couple hundred yards in front of us. All we had to do now is get back to Luca. Then everything would be fine.

"What do we do with these guys?" Rikku asked, ruffling the soft feathers on top of her chocobo's head.

"Kimarhi said that they'll find their way back to the mountain on their own. The fiends around here aren't much of a threat so they should be fine," Yuna answered, carefully dismounting and scratching her chocobo under its chin. It warbled happily and flapped its short wings. Then it surprised her by burying its beak in her hair and nibbling on a few of the strands. Everyone laughed, even I did, and the weirdest thing about that laugh is that it made me feel better.

After saying good bye to our chocobos, we set off for Luca. I fell asleep almost as soon as Yuna started driving. Contrary to popular belief, I was exhausted.

(Paine)

The first thing I realized when I regained consciousness was that I felt no pain. This confused me because my last conscious memory was of me flying through the air – that seemed to be an infuriating recurring pattern with me these days – and slamming into a boulder. My back should have been killing me, but it wasn't.

Now what about my ribs? I thought with a sinking feeling.

I lifted my arms and experimentally probed my ribs, wincing as I hit a few sore spots. Okay, so they weren't quite a hundred percent yet. Then I tried sitting up.

That wasn't such a good idea.

It felt like someone had suddenly stabbed me in a dozen different places all up and down my back. The pain was so intense that I almost screamed. Instead a strangled groan erupted from behind my bared teeth. I relaxed against the thick furs beneath me and waited for the pain to subside, mentally kicking myself for trying something so stupid. I should have known better. I let my mind wander then and tried to determine how long I had been asleep. The fire in the corner was burning brightly, but I could still feel a slight chill in the air, which probably meant that Kimarhi had left not too long ago.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes, just a little agitated at my predicament. Kimarhi wouldn't be back again for hours and I didn't have the means to get anyone's attention. I twisted my head to the right to look at the door when the extra bedding next to me caught my eye. I frowned because no one had ever slept with me, even after I had first arrived here.

Unless I've been sleeping for a while. Either Kimarhi or Midia would do something like that, I thought.

I turned my head to stare back up at the ceiling and try to pass the time somehow when the aroma of something familiar floated by my nose. I gasped, feeling like I should know that scent, but unable to remember where I had first encountered it. After a few seconds, a weak gust coming from the door way pushed the scent back towards me and it hit me like a slap in the face. I grit my teeth and turned onto my side, biting back another scream. I was sure I was imagining things. No way could I be smelling what I was smelling right now. I stuffed my nose into the thick fur blanket and inhaled deeply. The same smell made me jerk my head away like it had suddenly become repulsive. I wasn't imagining things at all.

"Baralai's cologne," I whispered to myself, my hands involuntarily fisting into the blanket.

At first, I didn't know exactly how to react to my discovery. After my crash I thought I would never see him or any of my other friends again. Now I find that he had been here, even slept next to me, but whether or not he was still here was something I needed to find out. I was happy that Kimarhi had successfully delivered my message and even more excited that my friends had come to the mountain. I needed to find out if they were still here and I wasn't going to let the pain in my back stop me.

I hefted myself onto my knees, biting down on my tongue to help block out the fact that it felt like someone was sticking a white-hot poker into my spinal cord. I fought my way onto my feet and almost fell down because of how bad my legs were shaking. I quickly searched for anything I could use as a crutch, finally spying a spear that Kimarhi had left propped against the wall. I carefully made my way over to it, gasping painfully with every step I took. It felt like it took hours for me to reach the spear, but as soon as I wrapped my hands around the smooth wooden handle and rested most of my weight on it the relief was almost instantaneous. It still hurt, but nearly not as much as before.

I waited for the room to stop spinning before hobbling outside in search of Kimarhi. I didn't have to go far because a pair of female Ronso spotted me after I had only taken a few steps away from the hut. They began shouting in their strange language so I stopped, knowing full well that Kimarhi would be running towards me any moment. It didn't take long – only a few seconds – before I was shivering uncontrollably and not too long after that when I saw Kimarhi sprinting towards me, his large paws kicking up puffs of snow in his wake.

"Paine!" he exclaimed, skidding to a halt in front of me. "Go inside!" His yellow eyes flared dangerously and he pointed a clawed finger back towards my hut.

I gulped, knowing full well that I was in big trouble, and began to carefully make my way back inside when Kimarhi unceremoniously scooped me up into his arms and carried me inside himself. Once I was safely back on my make shift bed, Kimarhi sat down next to me and continued to glare at me disapprovingly.

"I know my friends were here," I blurted, not meaning to say that but ending up saying it anyways. I took a deep breath and got control of my tongue. "How long was I asleep?"

Kimarhi's animalistic features softened and he sighed heavily. "Paine slept for almost entire week."

My jaw dropped open in astonishment. My friends had been here for an entire week and I hadn't even known it. Baralai had probably slept next to me the entire time waiting for me to wake up. I would actually bet gil on that. The only thing on my mind now was the reason why they had left. Had they given up?

Of course not, my mind rationalized. They would never give up. A week is a long time, but they couldn't possibly wait here forever. They had to go back home sometime. I still had to ask Kimarhi the question anyways.

"When did they leave?" I asked, fisting my hands into my blanket to keep them from shaking.

Kimarhi's shoulders slumped and his head drooped. Those two simple actions spoke volumes to me. I gasped, throwing my hands up to cover my ears and block out the answer that I already knew was coming. "Only few hours ago," he replied. His voice was low but I still heard him. His words reverberated in my skull like an echo and refused to be silenced.

Now I was mad. Furious was actually the best word I could use to describe my feelings. How in the hell had something like this happened? Did fate really hate me that much? What were the odds that I would wake up after they left to go back to Luca? It was practically impossible and totally probable all at the same time. I really had rotten luck these days, especially after my motorcycle crash a couple weeks ago. It would be a miracle if something else earth shattering didn't happen before they came back for me.

"Did they happen to mention when they are going to be back?" I asked, trying to contain my glee and not sound sarcastic at the same time.

"No. The only thing Yuna say is they be back soon."

I covered my face with my hands and tried to get a handle on my emotions. I was trying my hardest not to cry, but I could feel the familiar burn of tears start to assault my eyes. "Kimarhi, I'm kind of hungry. Could I have something to eat, please?" I asked, looking at him through my fingers to take my mind off of my moist eyes.

He nodded and left my hut, leaving me alone with my tumultuous thoughts. I still couldn't believe that all this had happened to me. It was like I was experiencing a very strange passing day dream and couldn't quite grasp that what I was seeing was real.

Why now though? I asked myself. I had driven that highway multiple times and nothing like this had ever happened to me before. Not even close. At least now I can get a new motorcycle, I thought with ire.

Kimarhi returned a few minutes later with a hearty helping of dried meat and a large lump of bread. I didn't realize how hungry I was until he handed it all to me. I shot him a very grateful thank you and he laughed when I tried to eat lying down. He helped me to sit up then sat back down next to me, watching me as I ate. Neither of us said anything to each other for a while. We didn't need to fill the air with conversation; he was there to keep me company and the silence between us was comfortable.

That train of thought immediately made me think of Baralai and how nervous I was around him sometimes. My chest tightened suddenly and I realized that I actually missed him. I prayed to whatever deity that was listening to get the chance to see him and all my friends again.