SWORDPLAY
bijoukaiba: Okay, so we've finally passed ten chapters. We've met our new pals Marth, Jigglypuff, Roy, and Dr. Mario, as of last chapter. So, what's going on with the Event Mode matches and Multi-Man Melee this chapter?
Marth: I don't know. YOU'RE the author. (blinks in confusion) Hey wait, I thought you were supposed to torment Captain Falcon and Samus by making them do this opening segment with you?
bijoukaiba: What are you, my secretary? No, I decided to let them have the opening segment off. Actually, for helping me out with chapters 8 and 9, I intend to reward them at the end of this chapter!
Donkey Kong: Really? How?
bijoukaiba: Sshh!! That's going to be a surprise. And it won't be something horrible... in fact, (whispers the surprise into Marth's ear)
Marth: Oh wow! That's so nice! But what do you mean when you say- (author covers his mouth)
bijoukaiba: SSSHHHH!! THAT'S THE SURPRISE!!
Donkey Kong: Due to the author's inconvienient argument, I shall be giving the disclaimer today. bijoukaiba doesn't own Nintendo, Super Smash Bros. Melee, or any of its related characters or respective franchises.
Marth: When do I get to make the disclaimer?
bijoukaiba:... Just let them read...
Oh, and by the way, in honor of my new pal, Babykoalaprincess, I'm going to try and portray Peach better from now on. Similar to what I started with Captain Falcon by about Chapter 8 and 9. (Watches F-Zero anime and re-reads her previous chapters) Dude... I totally goofed up his inner nobility... (hits head against keyboard)
bijoukaiba the editor: Also, did you notice? Go read through the chapters. I don't know how much you remember, but I've made changes to the OOC chapters. For example, the first chapter had Falcon all drooly and pervy around Samus, but now he's the gentleman he truly is. (swoonage!! XD)
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Chapter 11: 1 vs. 100!
Peach was just eating breakfast normally with Mario when she spotted her three previously sick friends, the new doctor, Zelda, Pikachu, and a mysterious man talking with Samus.
"Hey, guys!" Peach called, waving a hand to them. "Come grab a seat, any two of you!"
She pointed at the muscular man with brown hair.
"Hey, you're pretty handsome, actually... are you a new fighter, perhaps?" She cooed. Mario gave her a shocked glance. "Are you trying to win Samus over? Well, good luck with that... you'll have competition with Captain Falcon! Although she seems to like you a lot already... but can you blame her?" Mario rolled his eyes as Peach walked over and placed a hand on his arm, feeling his muscles. "Just look at this guy! He's handsome and a total hunk!"
Samus was blushing faintly after Peach's comments, whereas the 'hunk' laughed. "Handsome and a hunk, you say?"
Peach stared at him, amazed, after recognizing his voice. "C-Captain Falcon? Is that really you?"
The bounty hunter laughed. "Well, sure! I have to have an identity under my helmet, you know."
Several others stared at him briefly, before resuming their morning meal. Like seeing Samus unmasked the first time, they had a slight surprise, then life continued normally.
Captain Falcon and Samus took the seats with Mario and Peach. The plumber still appeared upset about Peach's flirting.
"Oh, come on Mario!" She rubbed his shoulder playfully. "I was only kidding around! Sometimes the best way to determine if a girl likes a guy is to flirt with him, then see if the other girl gets jealous! You know I'd never leave you!" She winked at him cutely. "Same thing's true for the other way around!" Mario sighed and smiled, giving in to Peach's charming appearance.
"Speaking of which," Peach commented. "Samus, did I see you blushing after that?"
The bounty hunters glanced between each other awkwardly, laughing.
"Well, maybe I was a bit embarrassed with what you said about 'winning me over'..." Samus commented.
"Yeah," Captain Falcon added. "After all the conflicts that have been going on between Samus and I, as well as a few others, we've decided we're going to be just friends."
"That's-a good," Mario agreed with a nod. "Forget-a what Bowser's said-a. All that-a matters is what-a you think!"
The bounty hunters exchanged a nod.
Scrambled eggs and grape juice were served for breakfast that morning, and soon after the plates were cleared, Master came forward to make his usual announcements.
"All right. First off, I think we should start the four regular matches we'll be holding today. After lunch, we'll go into Event Mode, and then we'll enter some Multi-Man Melee challenges."
Crazy wrenched the microphone from his brother.
"Once those fights come up, we'll explain how to handle them."
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Obviously, after being under medical care and isolation, Marth, Link, Samus, and Captain Falcon had no idea who was fighting, so they were highly excited as to who would be facing who.
"Our first match is... Pikachu versus Bowser at Corneria," Master announced at ten. The giant koopa and the adorable electric Poke'mon dropped in onto the jet and approached each other immediately. Pikachu leapt forward and rammed Bowser with a dashing headbutt, whereas Bowser retaliated by swiping his claws forcefully at Pikachu with a mighty slash. Pikachu was clutched by Bowser's claws and pulled into a tight grip, allowing his enemy to bite him several times. The mouse-like creature kicked Bowser in the jaw to finally break free.
"PIKA!!" (THUNDER!!) Lightning bolts rained from the sky, but Bowser put up his energy shield to defend. He grabbed Pikachu, headbutted him twice, then threw him forward. He unleashed his fire breathing abilities upon the little Poke'mon.
"Yum, yum. I always like a nice helping of fried rat for brunch!" He gripped Pikachu again, bit him three more times, and tossed him into the air. Bowser bounced up with a leap as Pikachu came down, ramming him with the spikes on his back. Pikachu was sent flying as a star.
"Pika pika!!..." (You'll pay for this!!...)
After Master officially declared Bowser's victory, several boos were heard as both of them exited the elevator.
"Ah, shut your mouths." Bowser snarled. "You all know you're going to get the same dealings when we meet in combat!"
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The next match had several of the fighters excited. It was Dr. Mario's first time in a fight! Even Nurse Joy had come down to watch him.
"Very well then," Master announced as the fighters boarded the elevator for their trip to the Fountain of Dreams. "The match of Dr. Mario vs. Ness will now commence! GOOO!!"
Ness shot a PK Fire attack at the doctor, who did a sidestep dodge quickly.
"Time to take-a your medicine!" He teased, in a... really cheesy taunt. He shot a pill at Ness in a flipping trajectory. It hit him in the cheek with a distinct sound.
Ness jumped backwards and grabbed his buddy, Mr. Saturn, and flung him at the doctor. Dr. Mario used a white sheet to whip the little dude back at Ness.
"Is it just me, or does he have similar moves to yours? Kinda like Roy and Marth?" Peach asked the famous plumber. Mario nodded.
"I was noticing-a that myself."
Dr. Mario ran forward and grabbed Ness, headbutted him twice, then spun around twice for extra momentum to hurl him off the side of the fountain. Ness attempted to fire his PK Thunder attack to launch himself back onto the stage, but he misfired and wound up spunning into the black pit known as space.
Nurse Joy could be seen bouncing up and down, clapping her hands together in... joy.
"Game!" Master announced. "This game's winner is... DR. MARIOOOOO!!" The doctor shot out two pills from his sleeves and then held up two more with a laugh.
Ness stomped out of the elevator, frustrated, while Joy congratulated the doctor.
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The next two matches flowed fairly quickly. Yoshi and the Ice Climbers did battle on the Rainbow Cruise, but a bad jump by Yoshi after being slammed by their hammers led to his defeat. As for the match between Mario and Zelda, the princess accidentally stepped on a mine set up in a strategic spot that sent her flying out of Hyrule Temple.
At lunch, Marth, Link, Captain Falcon, and Ness sat together as they ate the popcorn chicken Ruby prepared.
Ness slammed a fist on the table. "I just don't get it! Why can't I win yet?!"
Link, sitting next to him, patted his shoulder. "It's okay, Ness, just wait until you get an easy opponent like Jigglypuff- no offense to her- and you'll probably win!"
"Thanks for the reassurance," Ness muttered, dragging a piece of chicken through honey mustard sauce before stuffing it in his mouth.
"So," Marth commented, turning to Captain Falcon beside him, "What do you think about these event matches?"
"Your guess is as good as mine," Falcon replied. "By which, I mean I have no idea."
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Master and Crazy had called together everyone at the end of lunch in the battle tower.
"We will now be starting Event Matches!" Master announced. "These matches are similar to the battles that you face on a day-to-day basis, but are sometimes set aside for specific characters or have unique rules! No wins or losses are distributed to scores in these fights, and they frequently last for a very short time. Read through the list of Event Matches, and see if any of them interest you."
The fighters glanced up at the list on the TV screen.
1: Trouble King
2: Lord of the Jungle
3: Bomb-fest
4: Dino-wrangling
5: Spare Change
6: Kirbys on Parade
7: Poke'mon Battle
8: Hot Date on Brinstar
9: Hide 'n' Sheik
10: All-Star Match 1
"See anything you like?" Crazy asked.
"What's-a involved in the-a Trouble King fight?" Mario asked.
"Quite fitting you asked, Mario!" Master replied. "The match is designed specifically for you to fight Bowser. Would you care to fight?"
"Believe-a me, I never get-a tired of beating up-a Bowser," Mario laughed, with Peach giggling in the background. Bowser rolled his eyes. "I'll-a do it!"
Bowser and Mario stepped into the elevator, awaiting the match to begin. The TV screen changed its display to what appeared to be a giant platform hovering in outer space. Above it were three smaller, hovering platforms, two of them floating at the edges of the big platform at equal heights, and a third platform was floating between them at a higher altitude. Bowser and Mario appeared on the screen and started the fight.
But wait, something's wrong! Peach thought to herself. Bowser's hardly attacking!
Mario was using Bowser's slow speed to his advantage, using quick attacks in combos and pelting him with his famous fireballs. After Bowser had taken 98 damage (Mario had only taken 34), Mario grabbed him by the feet and spun around, building up enough momentum to send him hurling off the side of the Battlefield.
"Success!" Master cheered.
Mario and Bowser exitted the elevator.
"Who's-a next?"
"We'll try Dino-wrangling!" The Ice Climbers announced.
"No problem! That match is open to anyone! Yoshi, here's two extra helpings of Super Mushroom Soup; you'll need them to reach the appropriate size for the fight!" Crazy stated.
"Yoshi ararara," (That sounds interesting,) Yoshi commented, taking the sealed cup with him into the elevator as the Ice Climbers joined him.
"I have a question," Peach said, "Bowser is pretty powerful, yet he performed like nothing in the first Event Match! Why?"
"Oh, we just activated a handicap on him," Master explained simply. "It's the first match, so naturally it would be an easy one."
"RAAA!!" (OWWW!!) Yoshi roared on-screen. Popo and Nana hadn't taken any damage, yet they had already sent Yoshi flying offscreen from two powerful slams of their hammers.
"Success!" Master shouted once again.
"New record!" Crazy announced.
"Sometimes these guys sound like programmed robots," Samus commented to Captain Falcon.
"I know what you mean," he replied. "Remember the first day we got here, when Joy said there's an even greater boss behind all of this? I bet Master and Crazy are just his assistants... his henchmen."
"..." Samus watched as Link and Marth both hoisted one of the Ice Climbers onto their shoulders, and the four of them were all laughing.
But the question is, who's the brain behind all of this?
"So, what about the multi-man Melee?" Ness asked. "That sounds interesting too!"
Crazy pointed a remote at the screen, and the screen switched over to the Multi-Man Melee options.
10-Man Melee
100-Man Melee
3-Minute Melee
10-Minute Melee
Endless Melee
Cruel Melee
"Puff Jiggly?" (Cruel Melee?) Jigglypuff asked with a shudder. "Ig jig puff jig jigglypuff." (I don't like the sound of that.)
"It's pretty challenging," Master agreed. "The wireframes- your opponents- are programmed to attack and attack until you're defeated... and there's no items, either!"
"So, anybody want to try out these? Or should we switch to the Event Matches again?" Crazy asked.
"I'll give it a try," Much to everyone's surprise, Marth had stepped forward to take the challenge. "I'll take on the 100-Man Melee!"
"Marth!" Link exclaimed. "You just got out of the medical ward, I don't think you should be fighting this soon!"
"Nonsense!" Marth laughed with a casual wave of his hand. "The doctor said we'd be fine to fight again-"
"Yeah, by tomorrow!"
"I feel just fine, I honestly do, Link! I can handle this fight!"
"But if something goes wrong..."
It was Master's turn to interrupt. "If something goes wrong, you can press this button over here, Link," He walked over to a control grid resting against the wall. Right in the center of the grid was a large red button, clearly sticking out. "Consider it as a reset button. If anything goes wrong in the fight, Marth, just give us a sign and we'll push the red button. All fighting will halt and all fighters will return to the elevator."
"I appreciate you worrying about me, Link," Marth stated quietly, "but I will be okay with Falchion by my side. You can stand on guard of the button, and if anything goes wrong, you have permission to press it."
"I'll make sure he doesn't over-react!" Roy added with a grin, popping up out of nowhere.
"Thank you," Marth replied with a smile. He swept his cape aside and stepped into the elevator, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword.
Marth reappeared on the same battlefield arena that Mario and Bowser had fought upon. Five fighters- two of them male, three of them female- materialized to fight Marth. He leapt towards a male and female and swung his sword forward in an arch to knock them off stage.
How funny you always find yourself in these situations, Marth. Crazy let his fingers stroke the secret remote he kept in his pocket. He exchanged a glance with his brother, both of them exchanging a smirk. Everyone's attention was focused on Marth swinging down a Shield Breaker technique on his thirteenth opponent, so they hardly paid notice.
You'll pay for betraying our agreement, Marth!
Marth grabbed a Poke'ball and tossed it against the head of a male fighter, earning his twentieth KO. A Zapdos flew out, zapping the other wireframes for KOs 21, 22, and 23.
A male wireframe snuck behind Marth and kneed him in the lower back. Marth grunted and stumbled onto the ground, but he swung his sword around his body as he stood up, knocking away two more wireframes.
Marth's KOs rose into the thirties... then the forties... then the fifties... and even beyond the sixties! His arsenal had included Falchion, a party ball, a star rod, a flower-like staff that sprouted flowers on top of enemies' heads (The "Lip's Stick", Master explained), and a screw attack orb. However, he had taken a great deal of damage after accidentally stepping onto a roaming Bomb-Omb.
"Saseru monoka!" Marth declared, countering a kick from a male wireframe for KO number seventy-eight.
The wireframes were now beginning to gang up on him. A female kicked him in the ankles twice, causing Marth to stumble forward into a heavy roundhouse kick from a male wireframe. Link tensed up, ready to strike the button, but Roy held him off.
"No, it's okay! He can't get hurt, remember?"
Link nodded, watching as Marth fell back down to the platforms, swooping his sword beneath him to kill three wire-frames.
Two wireframes materialized yet again, and a Bomb-Omb fell to the stage as well. The wireframes kicked Marth onto the bottom platform, where the Bomb-Omb was waiting.
"No way!" Marth shot back. He leapt up with his Dolphin Slash technique, to knock the two of them off the side of the stage... before he fell back down against the wandering bomb. Marth flew off the top of the screen with a scream, disappearing as a star.
"Marth!" Link gasped. He ran to the elevator, awaiting his return. The doors opened and Marth emerged, looking slightly tired but for the most part, he was fine. "You're okay, right?"
"Yes! I'm just a bit tired now, but I'll be fine in a moment. There's nothing to worry about, everyone. It's painless, but a bit challenging."
"So Marth now has the record with 83 KOs," Master stated. "Anyone want to top that?"
"Oooh! I'll go next!" Donkey Kong declared.
He stepped into the elevator and appeared a minute later on screen.
"I wonder what his strategy is?" Zelda pondered.
This was a great idea! Donkey Kong thought to himself, heading for the edge of the bottom platform.
"Hey, what's he doing?" Fox asked. "A few hits over there, and he'll be sent falling to the bottom!"
Bam-ba-BAM!! Bam-BAM-bam-babamBAM!! BAM!! BAMBAM-BA-BAM!! ((No Flinstones references implied.))
Donkey Kong began pounding his hands against the platform, causing and wireframes who landed on the ground to go flying off the screen.
"Oh, I get it!" Kirby squealed. "The minute the wireframe guys land on the platform to attack DK, they get sent flying away!"
"Wish I had a move like that," Marth sighed as Captain Falcon brought him a bottle of water.
In merely twenty seconds, fifteen fighters had already been sent flying. After a minute, fifty of them were destroyed, and Donkey Kong had only taken 25 damage (due to Bomb-Omb complications)
Peach began to clap her hands and cheer. "Don-key Kong! Don-key Kong! Everyone, come on!"
"Don-key Kong! Don-key Kong!" Bowser didn't chant, but he at least clapped his claws together occasionally.
"Pi-ka Chu! Pi-ka Chu!" (Don-key Kong! Don-key Kong!)
"Jig-gly Puff! Jig-gly Puff!" (Don-key Kong! Don-key Kong!)
"Yo-shi Hup! Yo-shi Hup!" (Don-key Kong! Don-key Kong!)
Donkey Kong paused from pummeling the floor to grab a Poke'ball. And what luck! A Moltres was inside! Donkey Kong let the bird burn other fighters into oblivion while he pummeled the others that got too close. By the time Moltres had vanished, Donkey Kong had beaten Marth's record with 86 KOs.
"Keep going, Donkey Kong!" Marth cheered. "You're almost at 100!"
Three more females flew away. 89.
Two males stepped too close to DK. 91.
A rogue Bomb-omb caused havoc for a female on the top platform. 92.
For KO 93, DK grabbed a male and threw him behind his back, before leaping up to grab a Motion-Sensor Bomb. Ducking back down to his ledge-base, he tossed the bomb to the opposite side of the arena, where a male was unlucky enough to step onto it then go flying into his buddy right behind them. Two down, five to go.
And just to keep his streak going, Donkey Kong let the floor pummeling finish the others off.
"Three!" The watching fighters cheered. "Two! One!"
BAM!
The last wireframe flew off stage, and Donkey Kong successfully completed the challenge in 2 minutes, 21 seconds.
Click.
Just as a few of the fighters were about to step over to the elevator to congratulate Donkey Kong...
The familiar "A NEW CHALLENGER HAS APPEARED" words were spelled out on the screen.
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Donkey Kong found himself perched on one of the wings of the Great Fox, as it flew through the air at sunset.
"Okay, where am I?" he asked. "You guys... this isn't funny! Get me out of here, I want a snack!"
All of a sudden, a fighter leapt down in front of him. He was a blue falcon with red spots by his eyes, dressed in a white jacket similar to Fox's with a red bandana tied around his neck. He wore white pants and silver boots.
"I WANT FOOD NOW, AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO STOP ME!!" Donkey Kong declared, ambling over and grabbing the humanoid falcon above his head.
"Whoa, time out! What happened to your voice, Andross? I didn't even know you had a body! That'll just make it easier to kick your- UUUWAAHH!!"
Donkey Kong threw the falcon forcefully off the side of the ship, disappearing as he approached the ground below. The arena began to vanish and he felt a fizzy feeling in his stomach, before suddenly finding himself in the elevator again.
"Oh good, you're okay!" Marth stated in relief.
"Can I have a snack now?" Donkey Kong asked. "That fight made me really hungry."
"What would you like?" Zelda offered.
"Aren't-a you guys forgetting?" Mario asked. "The silver-a room?"
"Oh yeah!" Fox laughed. "I wonder who's inside? Like Falco?"
"Close, but not quite," Donkey Kong replied. "It was a blue falcon. But... I thought that was the name of your car, Captain?"
"It is," the bounty hunter replied.
Fox laughed even harder. "Wow, it really IS Falco! Let's go get him out of there, everyone!"
Everyone except for Captain Falcon ran from the room.
"What's the matter, Captain?" Crazy asked. "Aren't you excited about the guy who sounds like your car?"
He turned around to the brothers, his eyes narrowed. "I'm not sure why... but for some reason, almost every time we go out to fight, it ends with some new fighter appearing. And I think you guys have something to do with it."
"Well, isn't it exciting to see your old friends?" Master asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice.
"Perhaps, but you said this is reserved for the greatest fighters in existance. If someone like Bowser arrived with Mario, then the possibility of our enemies appearing is almost the same. Who's to say that the next new fighter isn't Link's enemy, Ganondorf, or one of my own enemies, such as Samurai Goroh or Black Shadow?"
"You're becoming paranoid," Crazy sang in a teasing voice to the bounty hunter.
"He's correct, Falcon, you're over-reacting. This is a safe facility meant for having fun and performing a study on your battling technique." Master added.
Before the racer could reply, Marth had stepped in and grabbed Falcon by the arm. "What are you guys talking about in here? C'mon, Captain, you MUST meet Falco! He has a fabulous sense of humor!" He dragged the bounty hunter out of the lobby and outside to where Falco was talking with everyone.
"Brother..." Crazy murmured. "I think Captain Falcon might be onto us..."
"We'll just see how long he's 'onto' anyone." Master replied. "If we can figure out some way to cover our tracks, then we can convince him to trust us again. But earning a bounty hunter's trust can be a very tricky thing to earn..."
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Dinner was a choose-your-own-toppings omelet night, served by Ruby with help from Alice and Spike. Some of the fighters went light, such as Marth, with only cheese and tomatoes on his omelet; others went all out- Captain Falcon ordered his omelet with cheese, jalapeno peppers, onions, tomatoes, and mushrooms on his. ((That omelet is actually known as the "bijoukaiba Special" MMM!!))
Samus, Marth, Captain Falcon, and Roy sat together for dinner that night. Link had agreed to eat with Zelda, Mario, and the newcomer Falco that night, but he was only a table away from Marth and his other friends.
"I dunno, I think you've got to give each other some space," Falco commented. "You guys do everything together."
"We don't do everything together," Link replied.
"Then why'd I see you walk out of the showers together?"
"We all-a have to take-a showers together."
"Man, you've gotta be kidding me!" Falco slapped a hand (technically a wing) to his forehead.
"You'll learn to adjust," Fox commented, walking past to return his dinner tray. "I did."
Crazy came forward to make announcements that evening.
"My brother went to tweak with some of the bugs in the battle system, so I'll handle announcements tonight." He took a deep breath, as if he were preparing for a great oration. "There are no real announcements tonight, as there will be no matches tomorrow."
"What?" someone asked from the group.
"Pi?" (Why?)
"Well, we've finally received our first volunteer for Adventure Mode, that's why."
Samus and Marth nearly choked on their omelets as the screen displayed:
ADVENTURE MODE: CAPTAIN FALCON
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Samus: Okay, miss authoress... you wanted to speak with me...?
Captain Falcon: And me as well- any reason?
bijoukaiba: Yes, I wanted to apologize for toying with you guys for the past few chapters.
Falcon: Well! Apology accepted.
Samus: How will you make it up to us?
bijoukaiba: I've actually decided to give you guys a promotion as well as a gift for you both (gives them packages)
Falcon: Heh! This keeps getting cooler and cooler! Are you promoting us to be the stars of the fic? What should we call it? "Bounty of my Heart"? (nudges Samus)
Samus: Wow! (pulls out a red dress with sequins)
Falcon: (pulls out a fancy white top, black slacks, and a red bowtie) This looks just like my garb from Falcon Densetsu...
bijoukaiba: (grins) The bowtie IS sexy.
Falcon: Indeed it is! So, about that promotion...
bijoukaiba: Well, I'm afraid I'm going to stop giving out intros and endings.
Link: (randomly pops in) Oh... that's depressing.
bijoukaiba: So, as of today... (louder, dramatic voice) YOU TWO SHALL BE THE HOSTS OF SWORDPLAY!!
Falcon and Samus: Say what?!
Marth: (randomly pops in too) Sorry, Link and I would've taken the part, but the authoress refused to give us the part since we're already the stars.
bijoukaiba: Go ahead, it's your job now!
Falcon and Samus: (sighs) Will the readers please review now?
Link and Marth: Good night, everyone!