This Is How A Heart Breaks
By Jasmine Starlight
Full Summary: Yaoi/het. Neji/Sasu Sasuke's slightly mordant; Itachi just might be a sociopath. Maybe Gaara is from a broken home. Neji just may be in the closet. Maybe Naruto might be lonely. Maybe Kabuto needs someone to love. Maybe Kakashi might need someone to hold. Maybe Sakura might need real friends. Maybe Temari needs a reality check. Maybe Kankurou needs anger management. Maybe Jiraiya needs Tsunade. Maybe Orochimaru needs them both. Maybe Hinata needs freedom. Maybe Kiba might need acceptance. Maybe Ino needs confidence. Maybe Tenten needs medication. Perhaps Shikamaru needs love. Shino, quite possibly could need companionship. Maybe Tayuya is hiding behind her personality. Maybe Haku fears rejection. Maybe Kimimaro desires friendship. Maybe Lee is crying out for attention. Maybe Obito needs compassion.
Pairings: Neji/Sasu…Kimimaro/Haku…Obito/Kakashi eventual…then Itachi/Kabuto…Tenten/Kankurou…Naruto/Gaara Orochimaru/Jiraiya/Tsunade…Open to suggestions. Shikamaru/Temari…Kiba/Ukon! Zaku/Kin… Hinata/Shino…Tayuya/Lee. Dosu/Kidoumaru…Zabuza/Haku…then…Zabuza/Kisame! Shisui/Sakon! Ino/Sakura.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
LYING FROM YOU
"Where do I begin, with this life we're living in
Market youth their uniform, make us all fit in
But do you think, that we're that blind?
That we can't see through all your lies
Cause it's no good
Burn burn the stations
We'll burn it down
Burn burn the truth
Enjoy the flames
In celebration
Enjoy the sound
For us, for them, for you
I know that I've been told
My integrity was sold
Priced and placed upon the shelf
It's worth it's weight in gold
But do you think we've lost our minds?
Yeah we can see through all your lies"
---Lostprophets; Burn Burn
§§§§§§§§§§§
Chat #4738947328995647 has opened
UltimateKaton: Don't be such a girl, Weasel and tell us how you're life's changed.
SelfLoathersUnite: Can this conversation be any more irritating?
XxjustSuixX: suck it up.
FanManAvenger:D
UltimateKaton: I got laaaidddd.
XxjustSuixX: I think that was a little too much information.
UltimateKaton: I think that your boyfriend wants to tie you up and have his wicked way with you.
XxjustSuixX: Damnit! Why does everyone know about that?
FanManAvenger!: It's common knowledge.
UltimateKaton: Dude, I'm a teacher. How out of the loop are you?
XxjustSuixX: which you failed to tell me.
SelfLoathersUnite: This is even weirder can we talk about something else?
UltimateKaton: Why because you're the only virgin left? I mean, even if Shisui has to be bottom he's still getting some.
FanManAvenger!: This is weird.
XxjustSuixX: I'm not the bottom.
UltimateKaton/FanManAvenger!/SelfLoathersUnite: Yes you are.
XxjustSuixX: If I'm bottom, then Sasuke definitely is as well.
FanManAvenger!: Thanks Shisui. You're the best.
UltimateKaton: You see for him to be a bottom he'd need someone to top him. Seeing as things are the way they are that's not going to happen anytime soon.
XxjustSuixX:…
ScarecrowSensei has entered room
ScarecrowSensei: Maaa, Obito-kun come back to bed?
FanManAvenger!: This is way too weird.
SelfLoathersUnite: I'm sorry I just vomited everywhere.
UltimateKaton: In a minute—I need to finish annoying these kids.
ScarecrowSensei: Don't be too hard on them, Obito-kun.
XxjustSuixX: Come on, tell us. Who better to tell than family? We're all as fucked up as you are.
FanManAvenger!: Oh my God. I can't take it anymore. Itachi
FanManAvenger! has signed off
SelfLoathersUnite has signed off
UltimateKaton: Well, would you look at that.
§§§§§§§§§§§
"I can't believe that you were going to tell them." Itachi said as he sat down on Sasuke's bed.
Sasuke rubbed his neck; "I can't believe you just put me in a headlock.
Itachi smiled, Sasuke rolled his eyes, "If I knew getting you laid would make you less of a tight ass I would have done it years ago."
Itachi's face soured almost immediately, "Oh I see. It's not the sex it's the Kabuto." Sasuke said smugly, getting hit in the face with a pillow.
"I guess that this should be good for you. A real relationship. It should be nice." Sasuke said benevolently, sighing as he did so. "It seems that everyone's heading for the nice white picket fence with adopted kids and a pet of some sort."
Itachi replied, "Sasuke, it's not your fault, don't beat yourself up about it."
§§§§§§§§§§§
"What's wrong?" Itachi asked Kabuto concernedly.
Kabuto was staring distantly off, not blinking, not moving.
Itachi looked at him searchingly, "Kabuto. Kabuto are you all right? Kabuto look at me. Kabuto." He asked worriedly, wrapping his arms around Kabuto's waist.
"Huh. Oh, Itachi-kun did you say something? I'm sorry I zoned out on you." Kabuto laughed sheepishly. Itachi frowned.
"Only when I told you I loved you." He noted wryly.
"Eh? Really? Sorry. I wasn't listening."
Itachi shook his head, "Kabuto, I think now might be a good time to tell me why you've been MIA for months."
Kabuto looked away, "Itachi-kun--"
"No, Kabuto I need to know. Really, if you don't want me to tell anyone else I won't. Please. Tell me." Itachi said, pressing a kiss to the back of Kabuto's neck.
"I--" Kabuto started but stopped himself. There were tears running down his face.
"Kabuto, what's wrong?" Itachi said, I made him cry. This is not a good sign.
"Tell me what's wrong. Please. I'm begging you. I don't do that for just anyone you know. I love you. Please tell me."
Kabuto hiccupped, "I—I—I—"
"Breathe. It's all right, just breathe." Itachi said, inwardly cringing. I'm a horrible person. I belong in jail; I shouldn't be allowed to have any human contact with anyone.
When it seemed like Kabuto had calmed down sufficiently, Itachi carefully prodded him, "It's okay."
He took a big gasping breath, "Itachi-kun I don't deserve you. You're too good to me."
Itachi smiled weakly, "I'm really not. Look I've made a very cute and very vulnerable boy cry whilst in bed with him." Kabuto laughed.
"My dad was a doctor, you know."
"Really? That's great." Itachi said encouragingly.
"He had his own practice and everything; and my mom was a homemaker."
"Mhmmhmm."
"We were happy, until my mom died. She—She'd been sick for awhile and when it happened my dad kind of lost it."
Itachi nodded empathetically.
"He started drinking and gambling and pretty soon he'd racked up an enormous debt. To pay off the credit card companies and to stop our house from going into foreclosure he borrowed some money from loan sharks. Not the best financial move let me tell you. So that's how it started. We were fine for a little while. But then the people he borrowed from came to collect. Surprise, surprise he didn't have the money.
They made him a deal, if he would write them bogus prescriptions, Vicodin, Morphine, Prozac, Benzene, Amphetamines, then he could pay off his debt. So he did but eventually his conscience caught up to him and he couldn't take what he'd done, do no harm and all that, he committed suicide. I was twelve. I had no other relatives.
Then they came to pay me a visit, apparently he still owed them a tidy sum, and I was now responsible for it. So they made me a deal. And that's why I go to love motels with strange men."
"Why were you absent so much?"
"The thing about sleeping with strange men is that they don't usually care about whether it looks suspicious going to school with bruises on most of your body."
Itachi looked horrified, "They hurt you?"
"Yes."
He held Kabuto tighter, "Bastards. I should kill them."
§§§§§§§§§§§
Sasuke laughed as Naruto retold a particularly funny story about Gaara and his secret love for fuzzy bunny slippers. He'd forgotten how good it was to hang out with old friends again.
Their group seemed to have doubled in his absence. Hinata, Shino, Kiba, Ukon, Naruto, Gaara, Shikamaru, Chouji, and Temari had accompanied him to their local burger joint to down pieces of fried fat and swap embarrassing stories.
"Shut up Naruto you still sleep with a security blanket." Sasuke chimed in effectively neutralizing Gaara's discomfort.
"And what about that stupid hat with the teeth?" Kiba added, attached to Ukon's side.
"Hey!" The table burst into uproarious laughter.
§§§§§§§§§§§
"Well, look what the cat dragged in." Sasuke noted as Kabuto walked by, Itachi in tow.
"Sasuke." Itachi said in warning.
"I won't bite I promise." Sasuke said holding his hands up, palms facing Itachi.
His brother gave Sasuke an even look.
"I really won't."
§§§§§§§§§§§
Sasuke was in History when he felt his phone vibrate. Making sure that Gai was sufficiently distracted he flipped it open to note that he had one new message.
1 NEW MSG
From: Obito
To: Sasuke
Runt, we need a vacation. How does the beach sound?
"What the hell?" Sasuke muttered to himself in confusion.
From: Sasuke
To: Obito
What the hell are you going on about? School is going to end soon.
From: Obito
To: Sasuke
What are you stupid? I know that we have summer vacation. I meant a getaway. You know when you stay in a hotel and go swimming and build sandcastles?
From: Sasuke
To: Obito
Are you retarded? Can't it wait? I have finals.
From: Obito
To: Sasuke
What subject is your last final in?
From: Sasuke
To: Obito
Your husband's.
From: Obito
To: Sasuke
You're damned lucky that he is, otherwise he wouldn't let you take it advance so we can get away.
From: Sasuke
To: Obito
What's your damage? I can take it with everyone else. I don't want to go on vacation.
From: Obito
To: Sasuke
I'm not going to let you just stew in your own emotions.
From: Sasuke
To: Obito
I am not stewing.
§§§§§§§§§§§
"I'm not stewing. Really." Sasuke insisted as he stood in the middle of his room uncomfortably, watching as Itachi packed him a bag.
"You are. You need this vacation." Itachi said frankly, neatly folding things. "Where do you keep your socks?"
"I'm a big boy; you don't need to take care of me."
"Sun block. You definitely need sun block. You're as white as sheet. I think Mom has the spray on kind." Itachi said pensively, hand on his chin.
Shisui poked his head in, "All done? Obito's outside."
Sasuke groaned.
"You're so cute when you're mad." Itachi said, ruffling his little brother's spikes affectionately.
§§§§§§§§§§§
"I'm not that much paler than you." Sasuke said petulantly from the backseat as Shisui and Itachi jockeyed for the correct radio station.
"Talk about a delayed reaction." Obito remarked from behind the wheel.
"I'm not."
"Sasuke you're paler than a glass of milk." Shisui said who sported a healthy tan year round. Stupid jock meat head.
"Shut up."
§§§§§§§§§§§
Chat room #645649846 has been opened
DeathisNoESCAPE has entered room
RedAsBlood09666 has entered room
RedAsBlood09666: Where the hell have you been?
DeathisNoESCAPE: Hello to you too.
RedAsBlood09666: Pearlie has been worried sick over you.
DeathisNoESCAPE: Has she? That's considerate of her.
RedAsBlood09666: She's a considerate person.
DeathisNoESCAPE: Look, I'd appreciate if you didn't tell her that I was online. I'm really not supposed to be.
RedAsBlood09666: Tell me why you were AWOL for so long.
DeathisNoESCAPE: Ugh. I really can't. You should know that.
RedAsBlood09666: Then I guess I'll have to tell her that you were online and didn't want her to know about it.
DeathisNoESCAPE: NO! Please don't.
RedAsBlood09666: Just tell me.
DeathisNoESCAPE: I reaaaally can't.
RedAsBlood09666: Okay maybe this is the time to use that to trust other people you have to trust yourself first crap that Pearl is always on about.
DeathisNoESCAPE: What?
RedAsBlood09666: You're not the only one with problems. I'm on prescription medication so the voices in my head don't make me kill everyone I love.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…
RedAsBlood09666: And my dad, he kind of has a temper. He usually feels better when he punches me or Kankurou in the stomach though.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…
RedAsBlood09666: My mom's dead and my dad blames me for it. On my birthday, which coincidentally is the anniversary of her death he never fails to remind me of this fact.
DeathisNoESCAPE:…
RedAsBlood09666: Oh and here's the kicker. I've finally got a relationship with that special someone I've been whining about for so long but because of my happy pills I will never be able to get it up for him. So who knows how long that's going to last.
DeathisNoESCAPE: Oh.
RedAsBlood09666: Oh? I've laid my soul out to you and all you have to say is oh?
DeathisNoESCAPE: …
RedAsBlood09666: Damn right.
DeathisNoESCAPE: I expect that you'll want me to tell you my mordant and otherwise scarring life story as well.
RedAsBlood09666: Yes. Yes. Yes. A million times yes.
§§§§§§§§§§§
"I didn't engineer this whole getaway so you could sit on a towel and read a psychological thriller under an umbrella." Shisui said as Sasuke turned a page.
"I didn't ask you to engineer this whole getaway, did I?" Sasuke said acidly, turning a page daintily.
Obito repressed the urge to hit Sasuke over the head with his book, patience is key when dealing with hormonal sexually deprived adolescents.
So, Sasuke really shouldn't have been surprised when Itachi and Shisui were recruited to throw him into the sea.
§§§§§§§§§§§
After his rather soggy rendezvous with the ocean, Itachi and Obito had retreated to their hotel room but Shisui and Sasuke had ended up browsing in nearby shops for knick knacks to bring back to their respective loving mothers.
Sasuke was engrossed in flipping snow globes over so the snow fell when Shisui came way to close to him and whispered, "Is that guy checking me out?"
"Come on. You came out of the closet like five seconds ago. Give it a rest." Sasuke said, rolling his eyes and moving on to look at decorative postcards.
"I'm serious. He keeps looking over here."
"Maybe he's wondering why you continue to hover over me like a helicopter." Sasuke said browsing through key chains. Don't flatter yourself so, Cousin.
"He's waving." Shisui said nervously, waving back. Sasuke rolled his eyes at Shisui's obvious incompetence.
"You have a boyfriend." Sasuke pointed out drably.
"Yeah, but he doesn't know that."
Sasuke gaped at the sight of his cousin, "When did you become such a manslut?"
"Shut up, he's coming over."
"Why would he possibly want to come over?" Sasuke's question was left unanswered as said pieced of man candy introduced himself, "Hi, I'm Raito."
Raito had a set of pearly whites that a piano would be jealous of, Sasuke noted in partial disgust. Shisui blinked, what the hell? Why was Sasuke acting like a lump?
"Shisui. And my cousin Sasuke." he said, grinning affably.
"Where are you guys from?" This buffoon was still smiling from ear to ear like some ridiculous clown.
"Konoha. Are we that obvious?" Shisui said cheerfully. Sasuke was fixing to stab him with a plastic foot filled with sand in a place where the sun don't shine.
"Not particularly, but locals don't generally put stock in key chains with sand in them." Said buffoon kept grinning like a jack-o-lantern.
"Ah."
§§§§§§§§§§§
"Where is Sasuke?" Obito asked, playing checkers with Itachi in their hotel room.
"With a boy." Shisui said smugly, turning on the TV.
"What boy?" Obito asked carefully.
"King me." Itachi said blandly, tugging on one of his bangs thoughtfully.
"We met him at the souvenir shop." Shisui said, frowning at the cooking show that appeared on the screen before changing the channel.
§§§§§§§§§§§
"Most influential? I'd go with Sugizo." Sasuke said.
"Luna Sea? Personally, I'm more partial to Hide." Raito said, smiling.
"X Japan? The only songs they ever wrote were ballads. Hide's the Kurt Cobain of Japan. It's been like twenty years and Yoshiki still hasn't gotten over it. His blog entries are still emo." Sasuke exclaimed indignantly.
"Hey! I like their music. Yoshiki and Hide were great friends. I'd still be sad. Yoshiki went on to manage Dir. Awesome band."
"After twenty years, I think I'd get over it. I sort of lost respect for Dir after they went on tour with Korn." Sasuke said dryly. Why do I meet guys that I have so much in common with at the most inopportune times?
"Unless they were more than friends."
"Oh. Okay, you're a yaoi fan girl in disguise I see." Oh. Why did you say that? I don't want to like you. Stupid smiley guy.
"Ew. No. That's just weird."
"Dir or Gazette?" Sasuke asked, curiously.
"No! I could never choose between them."
Sasuke was silent. Goddamn. Shisui set me up with my musical soul mate. Well. There'll be no living with him after this.
END
I would like to apologize about the mammoth wait for this one. My computer conspired to keep me from ficcing at all as it broke twice in the span of the last few weeks.
So I wrote you guys ten pages in the hope that I still have reviewers after this.
Lol and also the opinions mentioned above of jrock are purely my own.
YoungSasuke- lol
Papercut ai- thanks.
Turtle kid- How is that weird? That's my job.
Taiy-Chan- Lol.
WiFi Hidden Fong- Lol. Thanks.
TrinityBlood- I try.
Niver- Thanks
Resoan- Lol. A reviewer after my own heart.
Nellie330- hah.