Author's Note:

First of all, I want to apologize for all the typos in the last chapter. They've since been fixed and I'd like to throw out a quick thank you to all of you that pointed out my mistakes.

I'll have a longer note at the end. :)

Chapter XVIII:

Never Wanna Let Go

(Paine)

After Graduation…

"What time do you have to be down at the stadium?" Baralai called from the front room.

"Five-thirty at least," I shouted back as I was getting dressed.

It had been eight months since my surgery and my life was finally starting to regain some normalcy. My back was almost a hundred percent and I didn't need to wear those ridiculous braces anymore. Before my accident I had taken even the most mundane of tasks, like slouching, for granted. Even being able to bend over or sit cross legged again after so long almost felt wrong. It was kind of like I had been in prison and had finally been set free. Being restricted like that for so long had been maddening. Now that I was cleared I could perform again and tonight was my first time back. I had written almost a dozen songs during my absence and we would be singing a few of them tonight, including one that I had written for Baralai that he didn't know about. On top of all that, I had totally finished recording his song and I even got him to sing it for me.

And, true to his word, Baralai moved back to Bevelle to go through one year of training in preparation of taking over his father's company later on. I know him living so close to his ex-girlfriend should have concerned me but I actually wasn't worried about it. I was proud of myself for trusting him so fully. After what I went through I didn't think I would be able to do something like that ever again. The first week that he had been in Bevelle had been the second hardest week of my life. Having to adjust to living by myself again had been something I never thought I would have to do. Frankly, I couldn't even remember what it had been like to live alone. As cliché as it sounded it felt like we had been living together for years. Seeing him only on the weekends was much, much more difficult than I had anticipated it would be. He was here now so I didn't feel quite so lost anymore.

The sound of Baralai's footsteps coming down the hall made me snap my head up, eager to see his face to reassure me that he was really here. I smiled when he stopped in the doorway. "What are you doing on the floor?" He asked as he came to kneel on the floor beside me.

"I was putting my shoes on," I answered, indicating my pair of running shoes. "Once I was done I realized that I haven't been able to do this for a while so I'm taking a moment to enjoy it."

"Well if you want to get to the stadium on time we should probably go," he suggested, extending his hand to help me up.

"Very astute," I remarked as he carefully pulled me to my feet.

He smirked as he laced his fingers securely through mine. "I try."

I knocked my shoulder into his, a playful smirk on my face as we walked out of my house together. As we passed through the garage I ran my fingers over the black and silver motorcycle Baralai had given me for a graduation present. It had been twice as expensive as my last one, which hadn't set well with me. I thought he had been joking when he said he was going to make a habit out of buying me gifts. I had immediately felt horrible for not buying him a present but even though I continually insisted on paying him back he always declined. I still replay the words he said to me whenever I look at that remarkable motorcycle.

"You really don't understand, do you?" He had said with a whimsical expression on his face. "I did this for you not because I was hoping you pay me back. I did this because I wanted to, because I love you."

That hadn't been the first time he had said that to me but it never failed to take me off guard every time. The fact that I had yet to say it back to him continued to bother me but he never pressured me, not once. I knew that I loved him – I had that figured out only a month in to our relationship – but my intuition kept telling me to wait. I was beginning to wonder how much longer until I was gonna have to take matters into my own hands. I didn't want him to start thinking that I didn't feel anything for him. I didn't want him to feel like I was using him.

"Are you singing anything new tonight?" He asked as he was pulling out of the driveway.

"Yes." Besides the song I had written for Baralai, Yuna was singing two other songs that I had written while I was healing. They were both rather melancholy, which Yuna's voice was much better suited for.

The silence dragged on for nearly thirty seconds before he realized that I wasn't going to elaborate. "Okay…and?"

"You'll just have to wait and see," I told him.

He chuckled. "And why is that?"

"Because I say so. And don't think you're gonna get it out of Tidus or Gippal. They've already taken a vow of silence."

"You aren't going to sing a break up song, are you?" He asked, feigning worry.

"No," I answered. "Nothing that extreme."

"That's good. I'd hate to be dumped that way."

"You've got nothing to worry about then," I said, leaning over and draping my hand over his.

I only saw Yuna's car in our private lot as Baralai was pulling up and I began wondering when Tidus and Gippal were going to arrive. Since I wasn't going to practice the song I wrote for Baralai for obvious reasons I wanted to make sure all of us were on the same page about what would be happening. I was just a tad bit apprehensive to sing such a personal song in front of so many people but I had been preparing for this for so long that I hoped I was going to be ready.

"This is really bugging me now," he stated as he walked with me to the dressing room. "If you tell me I'll still act surprised."

"Oh no, not a chance," I answered, rounding on him. "You'll just have to be patient and wait."

He rolled his eyes playfully and kissed the side of my head. "Fine. I'll see you later." He gave me another quick kiss then set off down the hall towards the sound booth.

I watched him walk away then slowly stepped inside the dressing room, trying to imagine what costume Rikku had waiting for me. She refused to let me see it until the day of the show and kept reassuring me that it was going to fit me perfectly. I was skeptical because I couldn't remember one time when she didn't have to make at least one change to any of my previous outfits. I wasn't going to hold my breath.

Yuna and Rikku turned their heads as I walked through the door; both of them already had a head start on their hair and makeup. Yuna smiled and waved at me while Rikku jumped up from her seat and sprinted over to me.

"I'm so glad you're here!" She exclaimed, grabbing my wrist and tugging me over to my vanity. She pushed me down into my chair, flipped the mirror's lights on and got to work on my hair. "Just ask Yuna. I've been driving her crazy all day."

"Don't you want to finish doing your own stuff before you start on me?" I asked, wincing as the comb she was using caught in my hair.

"Definitely not," she answered, keeping her eyes on my head. "This is your first night back so you take top priority. I'll have plenty of time to finish my own beautification. Don't you worry."

I snorted, amused by her choice of words, and patiently waited as she styled my hair. I didn't mind paying attention to what she was doing, trusting that she would make me look ridiculous.

"Are you nervous about tonight, Paine?" Yuna asked, glancing at me through her mirror.

I stared at my reflection, contemplating her question, and was surprised that I hadn't even thought about it. The last time I performed in front of an audience was the show we did with Cainen. That show felt like a lifetime ago. "I'm more glad than nervous," I replied, turning my head just enough to look at her. "It felt weird to sit on the sidelines for so long."

Yuna smiled at me, her bi-colored eyes shining, as she rubbed rouge on her cheeks. "We're glad to finally have you back. It wasn't the same without you." She paused as she spread shadow on her eyelids. "So, Paine, I have to say that song you wrote for Baralai is really beautiful."

I felt my cheeks flare. "Do you think he'll like it?"

"Painey, I think he would be a fool if he didn't absolutely love it. You've got nothing to worry about," Rikku said, tapping my shoulder gently to bring my attention back to the mirror.

I braced myself as I examined her work, my mouth slackening in shock when I saw how amazing my hair looked. She had styled it in such a way to emphasize my face. It was similar to how I normally styled it but my bangs were a lot crazier.

"Okay, I think you can handle doing your own makeup. Nothing too flashy or colorful, please," Rikku said, sitting down at her own vanity and picking up where she had left off.

About nine times out of ten, it usually took Rikku the longest to get ready out of all three of us. Nothing Yuna or myself said could get her to hurry along. She wanted to make sure everything was perfect and sometimes even went as far as completely starting over when she messed up. Today though she got done in record time so she could help me with my outfit, which shocked the hell out of me.

When she showed it to me the pants alone didn't have me very excited. They were made out of the same skin tight leather that she used for most of my costumes, which was the only thing I liked about them. The left leg went all the way down to my ankle while the other stopped right beneath my butt like they were a cross between skinny jeans and hot pants. I held them out in front of me with my nose screwed up, trying to force myself into liking them. I sighed as I tossed them over the back of my chair, hoping my opinion of them would change after I had them on. The other half of the costume wasn't so bad. It consisted of a revealing fish net tank top and a small leather bomber jacket. The black leather pumps made me nervous though. There were so high that I wasn't sure if I would be able to walk in them, let alone dance.

"Go change, please," Rikku said as she dropped the rest of my outfit, sans the pants, into my arms and pointed to the bathroom.

I rubbed the leather of the bomber jacket in between my fingers as I collected pants and made my way towards the bathroom, trying to picture what I was going to look like in this get up. The image in my head actually didn't look that bad but I still wasn't very thrilled about it. My opinion of the pants, or whatever you want to call them, still wasn't very good. Once I had changed though my mind had officially been changed about them.

Oh man, I cannot wait until Baralai sees me in this, I thought as a sly smirk crawled onto my face.

I walked out of the bathroom so Rikku could give me her stamp of approval. As soon as I stepped out the perky blonde in question began clapping her hands together rapidly, an expression of pure excitement upon her face. "I knew it!" She exclaimed, walking closer to give me a proper once over. "I knew this outfit was going to look amazing on you!"

And, true to what she had predicted earlier, she didn't make any alterations to the outfit at all. I was surprised but also just as glad that she had pulled it off. I left the dressing room before she had the chance to find something that was wrong and strode towards the sound booth via the back way, hoping that Gippal was up there. I wasn't going up there just to see Baralai even though that was a huge deciding factor. I actually really wanted to see his reaction to my outfit, more than anything. I hadn't worn anything like this in a while so I was pretty sure my appearance would shock him.

I sighed in relief when I saw all three guys huddled around the sound and light equipment, busy programming the show into the computer. Baralai's white hair looked so out of place next to Tidus and Gippal's blonde heads. Baralai looked up when he heard the sound of the door and I saw his white teeth flash against his tan skin as he began walking towards me. I watched his expression carefully as he finally noticed what I was wearing. I didn't need to ask what was going through his mind, to put it mildly.

"You look amazing," he said, wrapping his hands around my waist and planting a lingering kiss on my lips. I observed that I was just a little bit taller than him with my insanely high heels.

"Hey, Dr. P," Gippal said, his footsteps, accompanied by Tidus', announcing his approach. "It's good to see you on this side again."

After Yuna and Rikku had decided to perform without me until I recovered, which had been almost three months after my surgery, I had resorted to sitting in the audience during the shows. I knew that the option to sit in the sound booth with the guys had been open but me being up there would have only distracted Baralai. Plus, four people in there at the same time would have been a little too much.

"Believe it or not, I was actually getting pretty bored watching Yuna and Rikku have all the fun," I replied, wishing they would have left us alone for just a few seconds longer. Kissing Baralai had never gotten old even though our relationship had almost reached the one year mark.

"Wasn't there something you wanted to talk with us about?" Tidus asked, checking the time on his cell phone.

"Yes there is." I paused and met Baralai's gaze. "You wouldn't mind giving us a second, would you?"

I had been expecting the confusion that surfaced in his eyes then. What I hadn't been expecting was to see a small amount of hurt and rejection as well. "Yeah, sure." His voice almost sounded hollow and I felt my chest constrict tightly, wishing I could tell what was going on in his head. I watched him walk away and hoped he wasn't too angry with me.

"Oui ghuf fryd du tu, nekrd?" I asked Gippal, choosing to speak in Al Bhed just in case Baralai overheard us. I knew for a fact that he hardly knew any of the language so the likelihood that he would be able to understand us was next to nothing.

Gippal nodded, a sly smile sliding onto his face. "Yeah, like you need to remind us anymore. We know the rules."

I nodes stiffly and risked a glance at Baralai. He was sitting with his arms sucked into his chest and staring straight ahead like he was trying to pretend we weren't there. I pursed my lips, almost regretting my decision to send him away. "Ramb res du ihtancdyht fedruid kejehk duu silr ehvunsydeuh yfyo, bmayca," I mumbled, not taking my eyes away from him. I sighed, wanting to go over and explain everything to him myself but knew I couldn't. I'd spill the entire truth to him if I did. I shifted my eyes over to Gippal. "Oui lyh tu dryd fedruid duu silr tevvelimdo, nekrd?"

He laughed and attempted to keep his voice down but didn't do a very good job of it. I caught Baralai shifting uncomfortably in the background and I started regretting the decision to speak with Gippal in Al Bhed. "I've got it handled, Dr. P. You just concentrate on the show." I began to turn around but glanced over my shoulder at Baralai one more time, hoping to get his attention, but he was still staring straight out towards the stage. The weight of Gippal's hand landing on my shoulder took me off my guard. "I've got everything under control," he assured. "Don't worry about him. Once he hears you sing he'll understand."

"Thanks, Gippal." I tore my eyes away from Baralai and walked out of the sound booth without a second thought.

I was distracted the entire time we were doing the run through of the show. Baralai's behavior earlier was bothering me more than I thought it would. No matter how hard I tried to focus on what I was singing, all my concentration was centered around him. The expression on his face when I told him to leave me alone with Gippal and Tidus continued to haunt me. I was so out of it, in fact, that Yuna and Rikku noticed. I tried avoiding them as we were walking off the stage to go wait in the green room but they cornered me before I could escape.

"Alright, Paine, tell us what's wrong," Rikku demanded, leveling me with an intense stare.

"We can tell you're preoccupied with something so don't lie to us," Yuna said, standing next to her cousin.

I grumbled to myself and wished I could have hidden it better. "It's nothing you need to be concerned with. It's something I need to deal with myself." I tried to push past them but they swiftly linked their arms together to bar my path, once again preventing me from leaving.

"You need to tell us," Rikku said, her usually warm emerald eyes cold as stone. "If you don't get it off your chest now you won't be able to concentrate out there." She jabbed her finger over my shoulder, pointing out to the stage.

I knew she was right, but I was embarrassed. I didn't want to burden my friends with my problems. Neither of them had ever talked to me about the arguments or fights they had with their respective boyfriends, more than likely figuring that I didn't want to hear about it. By the way they were looking at me though I could tell that they wanted me to talk to them.. I felt my eyes burn suddenly with unshed tears and quickly turned my head away from them.

"Earlier when I went to talk with Gippal and Tidus," I began, needing to stop to take a deep, calming breath. I could feel the tears building up in the corners of my eyes and I tried blinking rapidly to keep them from falling. I didn't have enough time to redo my make up; we would be going out to perform in less than half an hour. "I asked Baralai to leave me alone with them and I think he took it the wrong way. And I'm pretty sure the fact that I started talking to Gippal in Al Bhed didn't help." My breath caught in my throat just then and I thought myself lucky that my voice hadn't cracked.

Yuna and Rikku took a few moments to let my words sink in before coming forward to embrace me. I wrapped an arm around each of them and sighed in relief. Telling them about what had happened really had helped. The veil of heaviness that settled over me up in the sound both had been lifted and my troubled thoughts had been silenced. I really did have two of the most amazing friends in the world. They knew me better than I knew myself sometimes and I was thankful for their willingness to help me. They backed away and flashed warm, encouraging smiles at me and I couldn't help but feel ten times better than I was a few seconds ago.

"Let's go get you a drink of water," Yuna suggested, looping her arm through mine. "I think you need it."

I acquiesced and let them lead me off the stage. Once we were inside the green room I hadn't even sat down when Yuna shoved a cup of water into my hand. I thanked her and sank into the cushions of the couch, wishing I could just disappear.

Maybe keeping this song a secret wasn't such a good idea after all, I thought with dismay. If my relationship with Baralai's going to be compromised just for this one moment of secrecy I might as well go back up there and explain everything to him right now.

And I might have done just that if Rikku hadn't spoken up just then. "So he's got no idea you wrote a song for him?"

I took a quick sip of water then shook my head, keeping my eyes in my lap. "No, I haven't told him anything And I probably hurt him by asking to talk with Gippal and Tidus without him, but I didn't have a choice."

"He'll understand once you sing that song to him," Yuna reassured, coming to sit next to me.

I smirked, unable to keep from chuckling. "Gippal said that too. I only hope you guys are right."

It took all my will power to shake off the dark mood I was in. I could only hope that none of the people in the audience were intuitive enough to tell that something was wrong with me. Yuna and Rikku's encouragement had helped more than Gippal's but I knew that I wasn't going to feel right until I had a chance to talk with Baralai again.

Thankfully, there wasn't any costume changes in this show. Rikku figured that she should break me in slowly since it had been so long since my last performance. I made sure to thank her for her graciousness. Having to deal with costume changes was something I wouldn't have been prepared for. I was going to consider myself lucky if I got through the night without my back hurting. I hadn't experimented with dancing to see how it would hold up, which I probably should have done, so I had brought my pain pills with me as a precaution.

So I was very relieved that my back felt fantastic after we got through three of the seven song show. I was singing Baralai's song last and it felt like time had sped up just to spite me. The closer it got to the end of the show the nervous I became. I was appalled because, even though I had never been a very outgoing person, I hadn't ever experienced stage fright. Being on the stage and performing had always come naturally. I caught myself becoming preoccupied again and managed to bring a stop to my swirling thoughts before I embarrassed myself.

When it was finally time for my solo I wasn't as prepared as I would have liked to be. I was out of time and even though I felt the urge to stall somehow it wouldn't really matter in the end. I already swore that I was going to sing him that song as soon as I had written it. Once I got past the fact that I was singing an emotionally personal song to half the population of Luca along with Baralai it wasn't so bad. Right, who am I kidding? If I can make it through the song without my voice going out I'll be surprised, I thought as we stood backstage waiting for our crew to finish setting up the corded microphones. There wasn't going to be any dancing or instrument playing during this song so I didn't need both of my hands.

I could hear my heart pounding in my ears and feel it thudding against the inside of my ribcage as I walked towards the lone microphone at the front of the circular stage. The crowd was eerily silent around us and I felt my heart beat accelerate. The sharp succession of footsteps belonging to Yuna and Rikku only solidified the fact that this was really happening. Them standing near the rear of the stage while I stood at the front by myself was another reason for my anxiety. We usually stood relatively close to each other, even for our solos, during a normal night, but this night was far from normal.

The silence in the stadium was deafening as I took my place at the front of the stage, calmly wrapping one of my hands around the microphone. I closed my eyes and let myself pretend that there was no one else but Baralai watching me but that fantasy vanished when a blinding spotlight shown down on me and crowd surrounding me began to cheer. The music started and I was officially out of time.

I had to exert all of my remaining will power to keep my eyes away from the sound booth's windows, but try as I might I couldn't do it. Impulse won out over will power. I could plainly pick Baralai out even though he was almost a hundred yards above me. As soon as my eyes found his outline I began to wonder what was going through his mind. Did Gippal or Tidus throw him any clues about what I was going to sing? Would he still be angry at me?

Just don't think about it, I told myself. Concentrate on singing and worry about the rest later.

I almost felt liberated when the song was over. Judging by the thunderous applause in the crowd they had enjoyed their brief glimpse into my personal life. I took a few moments to smile and wave at the crowd as Gippal turned the lights up, earning a cacophony of screams, then swiftly walked off stage. I was halfway to the dressing room when Yuna and Rikku caught up to me.

"That was amazing, Paine!" Rikku exclaimed, dancing up beside me. "I can't wait to see Baralai's reaction!"

One corner of my upper lip curled up even though my whole mouth wanted to spread into the widest smile I could muster. I voluntarily hid my emotions though, just in case Baralai didn't like it, falling back into my ancient self-preservation habits. If I expected the worst case scenario to happen then I wouldn't be too disappointed when it did. My hand felt clammy as I wrapped it around the cool metal of the doorknob leading to our dressing room, my previous feelings of nervousness and anxiety creeping back up on me. I knew he was going to be showing up soon so I once again needed to prepare myself for the inevitable.

I don't know how much more my nerves can handle, I thought as I sank into my vanity's chair. The only thing I want to do right now is climb into bed.

I heard the door open behind me less than five minutes later and I couldn't stop myself from jumping slightly. I lifted my eyes and watched in my mirror as Baralai slowly slid inside. When his gaze found mine he froze like he had been caught red handed but wasted no time regaining his composure. I could see the war that was raging in his eyes as he got closer to me and I could only imagine what I looked like to him in that moment. My muscles automatically tensed when he placed his hand tentatively on my shoulder but I forced myself to relax, knowing that there was no need to throw my guard up just yet. I brought my own hand up and squeezed his fingers reassuringly, unsure which one of us needed the encouragement more.

We sat there like a pair of marble statues, staring at each other like we were waiting for one of us to crack. I really had no idea what to say to him. I knew I owed him an apology but I couldn't get my mouth to cooperate with me. Luckily, Baralai spoke up and took the pressure off of me.

"I owe you a huge apology," he mumbled, his voice barely high enough for me to hear it. He moved closer to me and encircled his arms around my neck. I felt my body relax and mold into his, the sound of his voice cutting through the tension in the room. I noticed that Yuna and Rikku had mysteriously disappeared and took a few moments to wonder if that was intentional or not.

I sucked in a deep breath to calm my suddenly racing heart. "No, I'm the one that should apologize to you. I shouldn't have done half the things I did earlier. I can only imagine what was going through your head before you heard that song."

He grabbed Yuna's vanity chair and pulled it over beside me then sat down, weaving his fingers slowly through mine. "I shouldn't have reacted that way in the first place. It was childish." He paused and stared down at our linked hands, absently chewing on the inside of his cheek. When he finally lifted his eyes to meet mine there was a softness to them that I had never seen before. "I didn't know you missed me that much." The smile that spread across his face then was infectious. I felt my own expression match his a moment later.

"After living with you for you so long, being alone felt really strange. Honestly, I almost went nuts that first week." I felt my cheeks flare in embarrassment and turned away from him. I had never admitted that to anyone before and even though Baralai was my boyfriend telling him hadn't been easy at all.

"Well it wouldn't be so hard on either of us if you came to Bevelle with me," he whispered, his warm breath dancing over my ear and causing a small shiver to race down my back.

I snapped my head around, my eyes wide with shock. Going with him to Bevelle had never been an option before, or so I thought. Of course I had briefly considered it when he first told me he had to go back for his training but our relationship was still so young then. I hadn't thought a request like that would have been appropriate at the time. The fact that he was bringing it up now made me wonder if he had been thinking the same thing I had.

"You know that wouldn't be possible," I answered, my voice just as low.

"Why?" He questioned, his stare suddenly intensifying. His eyes went from melted chocolate to hard stone and the shift caught me unawares. I hadn't been expecting him to look at me like that and it took me a few seconds to pull myself out of my stupor.

"I-I'm performing again," I stammered, feeling the urge to lean away from him. What surprised me is when I actually acted on it, but what stunned me even more is the expression that appeared on his face when I moved away. He didn't look angry, just sad and disappointed with himself. My temper suddenly flared without warning and I was powerless to stop the venomous words that poured from my mouth. "I still have my friends to think about. I have way too many things that I'm responsible for here. I guess I was mistaken when I thought you would understand."

I let my irritation get the best of me then and I ripped my hand from his grasp then swiftly walked away from him. I turned a deaf ear to his pleas and went straight into my closet, not really having anywhere else I could go. I had half the mind to shut the door behind me but decided not to act on that impulse. I made a beeline for my section of normal clothes and began angrily sifting through all the articles. I paused after only a few moments though, noticing something strange hanging up just a few feet to my right.

My heart plummeted into the pit of my stomach at the sight of the dark red dress hanging there innocently on the rack. My feet moved toward it automatically, capturing the fabric in my hands and examining it. The color was exquisite and I was certain it would match my eyes perfectly. The sleeves were long and skinny and the shoulders of the dress looked like they were made to hug my upper arms when I wore it. The extra cloth around the top of the dress seemed to bring emphasis to the bust, something I didn't really mind since I wasn't very well endowed in the certain area. The skirt stopped short of mid-thigh and was skin tight. There was a note taped to the hanger that I hadn't noticed at first. There were only two words written on it in a very familiar handwriting: Forgive me?

I looked behind me, utter astonishment evident on my face, and spied Baralai standing in the doorway grinning like a fool. I had been effectively stunned into silence, my sour mood completely forgotten, and by the look on his face his was gone as well. A strange thought occurred to me then and my eyes narrowed as I searched his face. Something told me there was more behind his strange attitude change than he was letting on.

"You did that on purpose," I said, my eyes narrowing even further. "Why?"

He laughed and I knew my assumption was correct. "Well I had to think of a way to get you in here without spelling it out," he replied, shoving his hands into his pockets and leaning casually against the door jam. "I snuck in here before the show and dropped that off." He jerked his chin towards the dress and his smile widened. "The note I added at the last second. I hope you don't take this as me trying to suck up to you. I've had this planned now for a while."

I frowned, not quite following what he had said. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll find out. Just get changed." He turned and walked out, closing the door behind him.

I shifted my eyes back to the dress and rolled them half-heartedly. After I undressed out of my leather outfit I changed into a strapless bra, all the while wondering how much this dress had cost but figured that it would be best if I didn't know. My toes knocked against something on the floor when I moved to take the dress off the hanger and I winced, my irritation flaring briefly. I didn't recognize the shoebox on the floor but I had a sneaking suspicion that it was from Baralai as well. I leaned down, ready to take the lid off, entertained the thought that his taste in shoes was as good as his taste in clothes, but stopped short.

I'll worry about the shoes later, I thought, straightening back up and pulling the dress off the plastic hanger. I gingerly slid it over my head, acting like I would rip the delicate fabric if I tugged on it too roughly. The material was amazing. It was very soft and didn't make my skin itch like most new clothes are prone to do. He had probably brought it at a high end clothing store in Bevelle, in which case I never wanted to find out how much it cost. Even though I had more than enough money to spend on expensive clothes I proffered to be frugal. I was more concerned with spending what I needed to and saving the rest. Hell, I only went clothes shopping once a year.

After my dress was on I was almost reluctant to look at the shoes Baralai got me. Would he notice if I didn't wear them? Maybe he wouldn't if I kept his attention on my upper half. His eyes were glued to my face half the time anyways. If I was lucky he'd be none the wiser.

Don't be so petty! My mind chastised. He bought you the shoes. He obviously wants you to wear them. Now put em on and get out there! He's waiting for you!

With renewed vigor, I picked the plain shoebox up off the floor and quickly lifted the lid before I had the chance to continue second guessing myself. I had to clamp my teeth down on the inside of my bottom lip to prevent my mouth from dropping open when I saw the pumps. They were an exactly match to the color of my dress. I was even more flabbergasted when I actually recognized them. I had been flipping through one of Rikku's fashion magazines a few days ago when all three of us had been hanging out in her room while the petit blonde had been putting the finishing touches on Yuna's costume. I knew they were the same shoes because of the color, the unique design and the price. I sighed but pulled them out of the box and stepped out of my closet.

Not only was Baralai waiting for me but both Yuna and Rikku were as well, looking like they were ready to explode from all their pent up excitement. They gasped in perfect unison and rushed over to get a closer look at my dress. Well, at least Yuna did. Rikku starting fixing the fabric around my chest and shoulders. She gasped in envy when she saw the shoes I was carrying in my hand and couldn't stop herself from gushing about them.

Her blabbering got tiresome very fast. "Thank you, Rikku," I said through clenched teeth as I captured her small hands in mine. "I can take it from here."

She giggled nervously and moved away from me. "Yeah, sorry about that, Paine," she replied, going to stand by her cousin.

I rolled my eyes at them then approached Baralai, finally noticing that he had changed clothes as well. The dark red button down shirt looked amazing against his tan skin. His black slacks and shiny black shoes didn't look too bad either. I glanced down at my dress and smirked. He obviously had a thing for color coordinating as well.

"So what are we doing?" I asked, sitting down in front of my vanity so I could put my shoes on and alter my makeup.

He smiled as he leaned over my right shoulder and kissed the exposed skin, his lips dancing across my neck like a butterfly's wings. "Dinner," he replied. "I hope you don't mind leaving your friends behind."

"Not at all," I said, holding back a shiver as goose bumps popped up all along my shoulder and arms. "I think they'll survive a night without me. Where are we going?"

"You'll find out when we get there," he answered, kissing my neck one more time before straightening. "You know, that dress is missing something."

I frowned and looked down, wondering what it could possibly be missing. "Well I don't know about you but I'm not sure if I can fit anything else in this dress."

He shook his head and leaned his hand against the back of my chair. "No, that's not what I meant." My frown deepened when he rose his closed fist into the air next to my head. He opened his fist then and a ruby necklace that was hooked around one of his fingers fell out of his hand.

I gasped in spite of myself at it as he fastened it around my neck. It looked like a bunch of tiny flowers that were linked together. The flowers themselves were made out of the small red stones. I was so engrossed by the beauty of the necklace that I didn't notice it when he stuck his hand under my chin. He cleared his throat after a few seconds and my mouth dropped open when I saw the matching flower earrings in the palm of his hand. I looked up at him and he was, once again, grinning like a fool.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket once I had taken the earrings out of his hand and fastened them in my ears. "There's a few calls I have to make. I'll wait for you outside."

I met his eyes in the mirror and nodded, smiling to myself as I gazed at him. I still, even after nearly a year, found his beauty dazzling. Even if we stayed together for the rest of our lives I would never cease considering myself extremely lucky to have him.

It took less than ten minutes to freshen my makeup. After slipping on my heels and saying a quick goodbye to Yuna and Rikku – who insisted on a full run down of our date later – then left before they had the chance to stop me again. My needlessly expensive shoes thudded dully against the carpeted floor as I made my way down the hall. My heart fluttered erratically as I wondered where we were going to eat. I had already assumed that we would be going somewhere that enforced a rather strict dress code, which meant it was probably going to be a five star establishment.

I paused just short of walking out the back door, a new thought suddenly occurring to me. My return to the stage had been broadcasted in every magazine and on every news station for the past couple of weeks. The media would be expecting me to go to an expensive restaurant and would probably have reporters staked out at a large number of them. I sighed heavily, my shoulders sagging. I hadn't been in the lime light for so long that it was going to take some getting used to again. Being cooped up in my house for over half a year had desensitized me.

I pushed the door open, a look of focused determination on my face, and spotted Baralai leaning up against the side of his car. He smiled broadly, his eyes moving from my face down to my feet agonizingly slow. I absentmindedly smoothed my dress as I closed the gap between us. As soon as I was close enough to him he hooked his hands around my hips and pulled me towards him, pressing my body flush against his own. His mouth came crashing down on mine and my heart lurched in my chest, igniting a fire that raced through my veins. I buried my fingers in his hair, crushing his lips against mine even more forcefully. His hands slid from my hips, coming dangerously close to the edge of my dress, when he broke away. A satisfied smile was on his face as he took a deep breath through his nose.

"You have no idea how badly I want to rip that dress off you," he murmured, moving to plant a few soft kisses on my neck.

I chuckled as I wrapped my arms loosely around his shoulders. "If you did that I would wind up strangling you with it. Don't you dare ruin this dress." I shifted my hips out of his reach then laced our fingers together so he wouldn't get any ideas. If he spent a couple thousand gil on this outfit then I would be damned if I let him rip it apart…ever.

"I can always buy you more," Baralai joked, glancing over his shoulder.

I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I meant. I feel like I should have a body guard with all of this stuff that I'm wearing." I gingerly touched the ruby necklace that Baralai had fastened around my neck, feeling slightly apprehensive. If I didn't know how to defend myself or if Baralai wasn't with me, I probably would not have wanted to go anywhere.

"I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Besides you look beautiful," he replied, sliding one of his hands casually into his pocket.

A car horn took our attention away from each other and I frowned when I saw a black limousine pull up behind Baralai's car. He looked over at me with a large grin stretching across his face and I leveled him with a murderous glare. "You're pulling out all the stops, aren't you?"

His smile widened and he laughed as he wrapped his arm around my waist, leading me towards the back door of the limo. "For you, yes." He opened the door and waited for me to climb inside before sliding in beside me. "You know where to go," Baralai called to the driver.

The man at the wheel nodded then a dark piece of glass slid shut across the opening, giving us some privacy. I knew that he wasn't going to tell me where we were going to eat so I relaxed against my seat, watching as the limo pulled out of the stadium's parking lot. Baralai's fingers curled around my hand I sighed in contentment as he drew small circles on the back of my hand. Soft music began to filter through the speakers and my lips curled up slightly. He had taken me on quite a few dinner dates in the past but I could already tell that this certain outing would put all the rest of them to shame.

Why now though? I wondered, glancing at him out of the corner of my eye. Why is he making this date such a big deal?

Of course I didn't have the answer to those questions. I actually felt a small thrill over this whole situation. It almost felt like I was going to a surprise party. I tried to relax but my anticipation only grew the farther we drove. Although the farther we went, the smaller the thrill I had felt at the beginning became. I was starting to become so anxious, in fact, that my legs began shaking. I tried hiding it but Baralai noticed right away, chuckling as he laid a restraining hand on my knee.

"What's wrong?" He asked, rubbing my leg soothingly.

"All this secrecy is getting to me," I replied, leaning my head against the back of the seat and gazing up at the roof. My legs wanted to continue shaking but I valiantly kept them rooted to the floor.

He chuckled again and I smiled involuntarily. I wouldn't have thought it possible a year ago that I would come to love the sound of one boy's laugh so much. Yet here I was, wishing I could listen to it for the rest of eternity. "There's a reason for it, I promise. It's mainly so you won't argue with me."

I leaned towards him, narrowing my eyes suspiciously. "Why would I argue with you?"

"Probably because of how much it costs just to make a reservation there," he answered, weaving his fingers through mine.

I rolled my eyes, already knowing he was going to say something like that. "Why am I not surprised?"

His smiled widened as he slowly dragged the tips of his fingers down my cheek. He breathed in, acting like he was going to say something but clamped his teeth down on the corner of his bottom lip at the last moment. My eyebrows twitched and I wondered what he had been about to say. I opened my mouth, ready to ask him what he was thinking about when the glass window separating us from the driver slid open.

"Where should I wait for you, Mr. DeSilva?" The driver questioned, meeting Baralai's eyes through the rearview mirror.

"Just be back here by midnight," he replied, scooting across the seat towards the door. "What you do until then is your own business."

"Yes, Sir," he said, pulling into the parking lot of our destination.

I peered through the windows, searching the scenery for the name of the mystery restaurant. When I found it I couldn't stop my mouth from sagging open in shock. He had brought me to Euphoria, the most expensive five star restaurant in Luca. I had never been here before but both Yuna and Rikku had and, from what they had told me, it was like committing financial suicide. I felt my heart plummet into my stomach as the limo pulled up to the entrance. I shot Baralai a none too pleased look, thinking about all the other things he could have spent that gil on, but accepted his hand to help me out of the car.

As soon as I had stepped out I was blinded by what seemed like hundreds of camera flashes. I was a little surprised that the media had gotten here so fast. Baralai was the only one that knew where we were going so how they had figured out which restaurant we would be at was beyond me. They must have a sixth sense or something, I thought, pulling my mouth up into the corniest smile I could muster.

"You know I'm gonna kill you when we get home," I mumbled to Baralai through my teeth as we strode toward the front doors.

He smiled, the white of his teeth clashing brilliantly with his skin. "I look forward to it," he whispered back seductively.

Upon entering, the maître'D practically tripped over his own feet to greet us. I was guessing that all the camera flashes had tipped him off to the fact that we were important guests, but when I found out that he knew Baralai and his parents I was actually kind of surprised. Apparently before they moved here, his family and himself came here quite often. That discovery caught my attention and I wondered briefly if there was some underlying cause to him bringing me here of all places. Before I had the chance to ponder over it further the maître'D led us away. We followed him through the restaurant and up to the second floor then out to a private balcony with a quaint two person table already waiting for us. The lit candelabra in the center of the table completed the romantic setting I knew Baralai was going for.

The maître'D, whose name tag read Floyd, pulling my chair out for me and I thanked him. "Your waiter will be with you shortly," he said in a thick island accent.

Once he was out of sight I turned my eyes to Baralai, seriousness painted all over my face. "That's why," I stated simply, the corners of my mouth twitching. I never could stay angry at him for long.

"What do you mean?" He asked, a mischievous glimmer appearing in his dark eyes.

"The reason you brought me here. You're probably familiar with more than just the maître'D and because of that you might be able to pull in a few favors," I answered, taking a sip of the ice water that had already been at the table.

He chuckled, resting his elbows on the edge of the table and leaning forward. "Very astute, but that's only part of it. You'll find out the whole reason later."

I huffed then took a breath to argue that he had kept enough secrets for one night but stopped short when our waiter approached the table. He was older man with a full head of graying hair. He smiled at Baralai as he handed us our menus. I smirked, knowing that I would be right.

"It's wonderful to see you again, Mr. DeSilva," he said, handing him a small folder that I assumed was the wine list. "might I ask who your lovely dinner guest is?" He inquired, turning his face toward me.

"Yes, of course, Lawrence. This is my girlfriend, Aria Fallon. She's part of the singing group, YRP," he said, smiling widely as he introduced me. He'd been calling me by my real name more and more often over the last few months, which I didn't at all mind. In fact, I loved the way my name rolled off his tongue. We kept it between us though because, even if I starting going by Aria again, I would always be Paine to my fans.

"It's a delight to meet you, Miss Fallon," he replied, bowing his head. I smiled back at him and nodded then he turned his attention back to Baralai. "Would you like me to give you a few moments to look over the menu?"

Baralai shifted his gaze to me for a few seconds, the corners of his eyes narrowed slightly, as he considered the man's question. I really wasn't very sure of what to order – the menu looked extremely confusing from what I had read – so I was hoping he would take liberty. It seemed like he was going to say something to me but he caught himself at the last second and turned back to our waiter. "I'll have my usual," he said. Lawrence nodded and scribbled something down on a pad of paper. "As for Aria, bring her my mother's usual."

Our waiter continued to scribble on his paper then looked up at him one last time. "Will you be having any wine?"

Baralai casually flipped through the pages of the wine list before handing it over. "Kilikan Merlot."

Lawrence smiled as he accepted the folder. "Excellent choice. The first course will be out shortly."

I frowned as I watched him quickly walk away before turning to look at my boyfriend, a perplexed look on my face. "First course?" I asked, hoping I would at least be able to walk when it was time to leave.

Baralai smiled at me from over the candelabra and took a drink of water. "Yes, there's actually four courses but the portions are reasonably sized. There's two appetizers, the main course then dessert."

"How many times have you been here exactly?" I asked as I looked over the balcony, admiring the hundreds of different lights of the city.

"I haven't really kept track. Whenever my father came to Luca on business he made sure to come here."

I nodded and rested my chin in the palm of my hand. "Well I'll have to tell your father that he has excellent taste, as expensive as this is." I reached across the table and wrapped my fingers around his. "I would still like to know the reason behind you bringing me here." I tacked a sweet smile onto the end of that sentence, hoping I would talk him into telling me.

He smiled back and squeezed my fingers. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves now. We still have to eat dinner." He looked over my shoulder then leaned back in his chair, extracting his hand from mine.

I leaned back just as Lawrence set a small dinner salad topped with croutons, shredded cheese and a rich, vinaigrette dressing. It wasn't anything extravagant, which was surprising, but the quality of it was astounding. I knew that it was only a salad but it was probably one of the best salads I had ever tasted in my life.

Next, they brought us odd little open faced sandwiches that were in the shape of a triangle with a slice of cucumber and provolone cheese. There was in interesting mayonnaise like sauce between the bread and the cheese that I didn't notice until I had taken a bite. Baralai said they were his mother's personal favorite.

"I'll have to let her know that I enjoyed them then," I replied as I wiped my hands on my thick cloth napkin then tucked it over my legs. I took a small sip of the wine Baralai had ordered, savoring the slightly sweet taste of it and propped my chin on my knuckles.

"She's actually counting on it," he replied, a sly grin appearing on his face.

My mouth fell open at his confession and I began to wonder if everyone except me had known about this. "How many people did you tell?"

"Just my parents," he assured. "My mom was actually the one to suggest that we come here."

Right when I was about to ask why his mother would suggest the most costly restaurant on what I thought was just a regular date our main course arrived and the words died on my tongue. An assortment of steamed vegetables was accompanied by three lamb chops drizzled with a dark brown sauce. My mouth began to water when the aroma of the food reached my nose and my mind was effectively wiped clean.

A comfortable silence fell over us, the shark clinking of our silverware against the china the only thing to be heard. Every once in a while I would steal a few glances in Baralai's direction and find him smiling at me with a sort of whimsical expression on his face. Of course whenever I caught him looking at me he quickly looked away, which only made me think he was hiding something else.

By the time dessert had arrived I was practically shaking with irritation. I picked at the fruit and cream parfait in front of me, my mind abuzz with dozens of different questions. I wondered briefly if he was enjoying watching me squirm or it he even knew what I was going through. I was paying so much attention to the tumult of my thoughts that I didn't even notice it when Baralai came to stand next to me. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he laid his hand gently on my shoulder.

"Take a walk with me?" He asked, offering me his hand.

"Sure," I replied, placing my hand in his and allowing him to lead me away from our table. "Where are we going to walk to?"

"There's a small garden of sorts down near the water. My parents enjoyed through it whenever they came. I got bored with it of course but that was before I had someone to walk with me." He paused and I grinned as he weaved his fingers through mine, falling in step beside me as we descended a flight of stairs. "You are enjoying yourself, right?"

I frowned when I turned to look at him, just a little confused. What in the world would make him ask me something like that? "Besides you keeping me in a constant state of suspense, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

He sighed like I had just lifted a weight from his shoulders. He entire countenance radiated relief and I felt even more confounded. "That's good because I really want this night to be perfect."

My steps faltered only slightly when the meaning of those words hit me but I kept my mouth clamped shut. Even though almost all of my questions had been answered with that one simple sentence I wasn't going to jump to conclusions just yet. I took a deep breath through my nose to attempt to calm my racing heart.

"Why is that?" I asked, turning my head to look at him.

He pointed to a bench a few feet down the path and directed me towards it. Only after we were sitting did he choose to answer me.

"First of all," he began, taking both of my hands in his. "I promised myself when I was thirteen that I was going to bring a girl that I really cared about to this restaurant. Just so you know, I never came here with Kiele. That being said, I brought you out here to ask you something." He extracted one of his hands out of mine and reached into his pocket.

When he pulled the tiny black leather box out, my heart locked up in my chest. Was he really going to ask me to marry him? I hadn't even told him that I loved him yet, for Shiva's sake! He was either insane or very confident that I would say yes. My heart jump started when he met my gaze and I could only imagine what my face looked like in that moment. I'm not ready for this, I thought, staring to panic. He can't possibly expect me to marry him while we're still in our teens. What am I supposed to tell him?

"Before you freak out, I'm not asking you to marry me."

I frowned, but my heart rate returned to normal almost immediately. I definitely hadn't been expecting that. I took a breath, intending to ask him what was really going on but he held his hand up, stopping me from speaking. He lifted the box and carefully opened the lid, exposing the ring nestled inside. A thin gold band with a diamond the size of my pinky nail at the top gleamed back at me and I was stunned.

"I've given this a lot of thought and I know we're too young to get married. The next couple of years are probably going to be hectic with me living in Bevelle training and you living here. I knew that planning a wedding was something we don't need to worry about on top of everything else we have going. Anyways this is just a promise ring." He plucked it out of its velvet seat then snapped the box shut. He placed it in the palm of my hand and I could help but stare down at it mesmerized. "This means that I intend to ask you sometime in the future."

I grinned as I continued to stare at the ring. "Oh, so you're staking your claim on me, are you?"

He laughed and gently curled his thumb and forefinger around the band as he lifted the ring out of my hand. "Exactly. I'm definitely not letting you get away." He paused and I felt compelled to look at him. "So will you promise me?"

I lifted my hand without a second thought, offering him my ring finger. I didn't have a problem with promising him something. "Of course I will."

He sighed heavily at my words and his shoulder sagged with relief. His hand was shaking as he slid the ring onto my finger. "That's a load off my mind." He gripped my left hand in both of his and smiled broadly. If I looked hard enough I swear I could see his eyes tearing up.

"What did you expect me to say?"

"I really didn't know what to expect. I'm surprised that I held it together so well during dinner," he said, removing his hands from mine to rub the tension from his face.

"You have a spectacular poker face then," I replied, lifting my hand to get a closer look at my new ring. Besides the very large diamond, there were small rubies wrapped around the outside, giving it the appearance of a flower. I was surprised that I hadn't noticed them before. It was absolutely beautiful.

That's when I felt it. It was like some unseen force punching in the face and knocked me flat on my back. It was time. It was finally time to him the words that he's been waiting to hear for months. The words caught in my throat and even though I knew I had been given the go ahead I still wasn't sure if I should tell him. My last relationship had gone south mere weeks after I had uttered those fateful words. Everything was going so well with him and I didn't want to end up ruining it. I kicked myself mentally, abolishing those terrible thoughts before they had the chance to fester. I knew that saying those words to him would make him happy. I knew it wouldn't ruin a thing between us. I was just scared. It seemed like my fears would never go away.

I glanced up at Baralai through my eyelashes and I also knew that if I didn't ever tell him he would be very disappointed. I didn't want to do that to him. He didn't deserve that. I threw my arms around his neck and pressed my body so close to his that I was practically sitting in his lap. I sighed as his hands slid securely around my waist and the feeling that I was exactly where I was supposed to be settled over me. I leaned back and when I looked into his eyes it was like I was seeing him for the first time. I realized then that even if he had asked me to marry him I would be a fool to deny him.

"I love you," I said, knowing in my heart then that I was doing the right thing.

His eyebrows jumped into his hairline and his mouth fell open at my confession, but he recovered from his momentary shock quickly. A soon as my words had full sunk into his head he smiled and took my hands in his, squeezing them gently. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear that."

I nodded, suddenly feeling my eyes begin to burn. "I'm sorry it took me so long," I replied, my voice becoming thick.

"Better late than never," he whispered, hooking his index finger under my chin and pulling my face closer to his. "I love you too."

When our lips met it was fireworks exploded in my head and fizzled down my spine, making my body tremble. I really did love him and I honestly couldn't wait until asked me to marry him. I absently twirled my promise ring around my finger as our mouths moved together and I couldn't stop the corners of my lips from turning up. I was happy, more happy than I had ever been in my life. I couldn't imagine my life without him. He had pulled me out of the rut I had been in and I didn't ever think I would be able to make it up to him.

I pulled away from him even though I didn't really want to and put my hands on both sides of his face. "Thank you so much. My life was going nowhere fast until I met you. You saved me."

He smiled and shook his head, bringing his hand to my face to lovingly caress my cheek. "No, we saved each other. My life wasn't very glamorous either. I owe you just as much thanks," he replied, his eyes hold my own captive.

I felt my smile widen as I continued to stare at the missing piece of my soul. It was the first time in years that I had actually felt completely whole again. I knew then that spending an eternity with him wouldn't be long enough. Not by a long shot.

Author's Note:

There are no words to express how grateful I am to all of you that have stuck with this fic since it was published back in '09. When I first thought of the idea for this story I had no idea it would end up like this. Half the time I was flying by the seat of my pants while writing this so I feel lucky to have so many faithful reviewers that put up with all the craziness. This story wouldn't have been half as good without all the people that took the time to leave me comments. So this last 'thank you' is directed at all you amazing people that contributed to the greatness of this story.

So, if any of you feel so inclined, I would greatly appreciate to hear how you liked this final chapter. Thank you all so much! Until we meet again!