Disclaimer: I do not own gravitation but I do own Takashi Kiriya

A/N: First of all THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! I'm really happy that you guys like my story. And SisterOfTheOrichalcos I have "welcome to my romance" and I absolutely love that song! Thanks for offering to send it to me though.

Ryuichi's POV yay! It's from before he met Tohma all the way up until what happened recently I hope you enjoy. I really enjoyed writing this chapter and the following ones. While its ansty (personally I can't handle a lot of angst so why did I go this route I don't know) it's still good. Though I didn't intend on all of this being in there but I guess it's a good thing when your story takes on a mind of its own right? Enough of my talk though! And if anyone reading this story is a Sadomasochist I mean no offense really! so please don't get angry or anything! Or flame me for saying I'm wrong about a few things. Since I'm not a sadomasochist I can only get my information from research sorry. And if any other material offends anyone I'm really sorry okay.

Chapter 5: Silent Melody Part 1

Ryuichi sat in the studio as he stared around at everyone. Things seemed to be getting in order with the band, and they were getting closer and closer to the release of their first single. Everything seemed to be going well for him right now, but something was wrong. Everyone was being so nice to him the he didn't know for sure if anyone cared about him or not. While he tried to fight that feeling with all his might, his mind couldn't help but to wonder.

Were they just using him to get a record deal? Was that the reason that Tohma had been so nice to him in the first place? Those thoughts made his skin crawl. But then again it wasn't like he expected people to really like him.

His momma had told him once that he was unwanted and would never be of any use to anyone. Throughout the years Ryuichi slowly began to realize that and now he was fully aware. It's just that for a minute he was starting to think that maybe Tohma and Noriko did need him. In a way they did, they needed him in order to get this deal. But what happens afterwards? Would they just throw him away like they did Takuya-san?

Ryuichi lifted his fingers up to his mouth and began to bite on them slightly. He was always told not to expect much so he never did. However, for some reason this time he had gotten his hopes up but he should have knew better.

His dark brown eyes roamed the studio as he watched Tohma inside of the sound booth. He was arranging the beats on his synthesizer for the new song Ryuichi had just written. He was so focused on that where he didn't notice anything else.

Ryuichi let out a loud sigh as he stood up and walked over to the door to make his exit. He needed to think about some things and doing them here wasn't working for him.

"Ryu-Chan where are you going?" Noriko asked.

Ryuichi turned around and gave her a weak smile. Usually he would pretend to be his childish other half and fool everyone into thinking he was okay because his problems weren't that big of a deal. While this problem wasn't colossal it did bother him. "I'm going out for a bit to get a drink," he said as he opened the door and walked out without waiting for an answer.

As he shut the door behind him he let out a loud exhale. Now that he was out of there he would be able to think a bit clearer. His thoughts were racing excessively until he realized he was standing in front of his usual haven. This karaoke bar had saved him from a lot of misery. While people joked about his reasons for appearing here, he didn't pay it any mind. He just wanted people to know his pain, so he sung every poem he wrote to the audience.

He let out a small chuckle as he walked into the bar and spotted Takashi behind the bar table. Upon instinct he ran up to the bar and sat down promptly. He stared over at Taka with an apologetic smile as the man stared back at him.

"Don't think you can get off with just a smile this time," he said as he looked away and began to clean a glass cup.

"Taka-Chan you know I'm sorry. I shouldn't have drinked that much that night." He said as his placed his index finger on the table and began to trace it around in a circle.

The bartender grinned and Ryuichi knew that he had softened him up. A small smile appeared on Ryu's lips as he looked at Taka. He had dyed brown hair that was highlighted with honey blonde. His hazel brown eyes always made him feel at ease anytime Takashi stared at him. When they'd first met Ryuichi had asked him if he was mixed. And it turned out he was. While his hair was artificial, his eyes were real. Ryuichi had never seen such pretty eyes, and he knew he wanted Takashi. They were lovers for a short while, but it turned out that he couldn't handle his mood swings. It wasn't Ryuichi's fault he was like that; he hadn't exactly had a happy childhood. However still, he had his reasons for leaving. But to Ryuichi's surprise, Takashi wanted to remain friends and so could help the singer work through his problems. And so it was agreed, but looking at it now, it seemed that Ryu would never work through his problems.

"Ryuichi is there something wrong?" Takashi asked as he stopped washing glasses and looked over at the singer. His hazel eyes stared at Ryuichi in concern as the the singer stared at him back. Most days he felt like he could get lost in those eyes for many reasons. When Takashi looked at him, it was more than just that. His ex lover was like an open book. His eyes were the doorway to his soul. If you wanted to know his every emotion his eyes gave them away. And that's what Ryuichi loved about him. He didn't have to constantly guess about how Takashi felt, all he had to do was look at him. Sometimes he even wished that he could be with Takashi once again. While he knew that Takashi would possibly reconsider now, Ryuichi knew that if he did, he would possibly hurt his friend again. Ryu exhaled loudly as he diverted his eyes away from Takashi. He knew thinking like this was wrong, and that Tohma cared about him. Takashi cared about him without having any ulterior motives. Tohma had one from the start and along the way he began to care, but Takashi…

"Can I come to your place tonight?" he asked as he looked down at the table. He was exhausted and no one made him feel better than Takashi. No matter who they were he always was there and had no problems being.

"Sure," he replied as he stroked Ryuichi's head affectionately. "Do you want to talk about things now or later?"

"Later," he answered as he sat his head down on the table.

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Aoi opened his eyes gradually as the sunlight shined brightly into his room. He sat up slowly as he yawned and slowly wiped the sleep out of his eyes. It was another day that he wish hadn't came, but to his disappointment here he was. He moved over to the edge of his bed and gradually stood up. He was in no hurry to see his mama and papa so he was going to take his time.

"AOI, YOU BETTER WAKE UP AND GET DOWN HERE NOW!"

The boy flinched at the sound of his papa's deep booming voice. He had did something wrong again. But then again that meant that they were going to show him how much they loved him again. While he knew they did what they did to him out of love, why did it have to hurt so much? He had always heard that people who loved another were gentle with that person. Instead his parents chose to hit him and do other things to hurt him. And in the end they would tell him it was because they loved him.

Aoi put on his house shoes as he reached down and was about to pick up his shirt when suddenly his side began to scream out in pain. He let out a loud yep as he fell to his knees and tried to clutch the source of his pain. But when he tried it hurt even more, so he just continued to kneel down and wait the pain out until it began to stop.

He sat there for what seemed like minutes before he finally decided to stand back up. He was hurting, but that was everyday that something like this happened so it wasn't a big deal.

Slipping on his pajama top and buttoning it up, he walked out of his door and made his way downstairs. He could hear his parents at each other's throats as he approached the bottom of the stairwell. This was everyday for him so it was completely normal for things to be this way. If things weren't he would feel that something was wrong, and it was better off not feeling that way.

He made his way into the kitchen and he spotted his parents, sitting down but still arguing as if he hadn't walked into the room.

Smile and say good morning. He told himself as he stared at the two individuals. "Good morning mama and papa," he said as he sat down and continued to smile. When he smiled it helped lighten things up a bit when they were together. But sometimes it had the opposite effect on everything.

"Why are you so happy boy?" his dad asked as he glared at him suspiciously.

Aoi's brown eyes shifted to his papa's as his smiled dropped slightly. "No-nothing special, I'm just a bit excited about my first day of high school that's all." He said as he looked down at his plate uncomfortably. This was how it always started, why did he have to get adopted by these people. But then again if he hadn't been, he would have stayed in that orphanage forever and that was something he also didn't want.

"You better not get in trouble boy, or you know what'll happen," his dad said as he picked up his paper and began to read it.

"Yes sir," Aoi said as he said his grace before picking up his chopsticks.

"What did I tell you about that Aoi! We're not Christian so don't go on acting like one! If you do that again…" His mother stated before reaching over suddenly and slapping him suddenly across the face.

When the blow landed, Aoi could see a bright flash and then a great deal of pain. The taste of blood evaded his senses as he realized that the inside of his cheek had been punctured by his tooth. He wanted to cry out but he knew if he did he would only be rewarded by another hit.

"I'm sorry mama, I'll never do it again," he responded as he pretended that the slap didn't hurt.

She nodded as her features softened and she reached over to his cheek. "I'm sorry Aoi sweetie, I just want to teach you right from wrong before you go out into the world," she said as she caressed his cheek softly. "You know mama only punishes you because I love you right?"

Aoi nodded as he smiled slightly. He knew that she loved him so whenever she hit him he took it and let it go. "I know mama."

Aoi ran quickly as he tried to make it to school on time. It would be bad if he missed his entrance ceremony. He didn't want to make a bad impression with the teachers or anything. He continued to run as he came across another boy who wore the same school uniform as his. It was a royal blue blazer with a white shirt and a blue and white tie with the same colored pants. Aoi ran a bit faster to catch up to the boy so that they could make it on time together. As he approached the guy, he spoke without looking over at him.

"At least I know that I'm not the only one running late," he joked as he continued to run.

The boy didn't look at him but he cracked a smile at Aoi. "Yea my mom forgot to wake me up this morning can you believe that?" he responded as he continued to run.

"It happens man, my problem was a bit similar," Aoi lied as the two ran until they finally reached the gate.

To their good fortune, some people were still lingering outside so they it meant that the ceremony hadn't even started yet.

"Yes we made it! And here I was thinking that we were going to be late," the boy said as he stretched and smiled brightly.

Aoi agreed as he straightened out his blazer.

"I'm Kiriya Takashi," the boy turned to Aoi and bowed slightly.

"Oh," he said in surprise. He wasn't expecting the guy to introduce himself but then again he was a bit happy. "I'm Ito Aoi, nice to meet you." He said as he bowed as well.

Takashi grinned as he gave Aoi a thumb up. That was when Aoi noticed his eyes. They weren't black like everyone else. They were hazel. While it was his first time seeing that eye color, he thought it was unique and wished he had that eye color so he would stand out.

"I like your eyes…" Aoi said as he stared closely. "Are they contacts?" he asked curiously.

"No…" said he looked away. "They're real."

"Really!" Aoi responded, "I wish my eyes were that color," he said as he looked away.

Takashi looked Aoi in surprise as he cracked a small smile. He was about to respond when suddenly a voice boomed over the loud speaker telling everyone that the opening ceremony was about to begin for the freshmen.

"Come on let's go," Aoi said as he began to run towards the building.

Takashi nodded as he followed behind.

The school day had gone by quickly and before Aoi knew it, the final bell had rung and he was on his out of the building. He walked outside to find everyone rushing to get home. While he wanted to go home, he wasn't in a rush to. He knew when he arrived there he would be forced to stay in his room and not go back out for the rest of the day. Although he knew he didn't have any friends to hang out with, it would be nice to actually go out on days like this.

A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he paced himself with slow strides. He knew he would be punished if he took too long but this time it would definitely be worth it.

"Yo Aoi," a voice called from behind.

The brunette turned around to find himself staring at his hazel eye friend. "Takashi-kun," he responded with a hint of surprise that was over shadowed with a slight smile.

Takashi smiled as he ran up to him and wrapped his arm around Aoi's neck. "wanna grab something to eat before heading home?" he asked.

Aoi frowned at the invitation. He wanted to go but he knew if he did… "I don't have the money to get anything," he responded.

"Don't worry about that it's my treat today. But you better pay me back eventually," he said as he let go of Aoi and grinned. "But you won't have three years to do that so no need to rush."

Aoi, smiled softly as he looked at Takashi, maybe for the first time he could have a friend. Although his parents wouldn't be too thrilled but who said they had to know? It would be his little secret from now on.

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Ryuichi yawned as he sat up quickly. He rolled his eyes as he looked over at his cell phone which had been ringing excessively. He knew it was either Tohma or Noriko and he wanted to pick it up. But he knew if he did they would get angry with him. After going to the Karaoke bar yesterday, he never came back to the studio. He was making a bad impression of himself but he was too conflicted right now to care.

"Ryu, are you going to get that?" Takashi asked as he stared up at him. It was obvious that the phone rings had awakened him and it was beginning to annoy him.

Ryuichi shook his head as he stared at the phone. He didn't want to answer it right now but he knew that he had to so that Takashi wouldn't be mad at him. He was about to reach over when suddenly Takashi did faster than he did.

"Hello," he said sleepily into the phone. He closed his eyes and as he rested his head on the pillow. "Yes Ryuichi's here but he's not feeling too well." He answered to the person on the other end. "Well he's not at home he's at my place," Takashi said as he opened his eyes and looked over at Ryu. "If he's feeling well I'll make sure he gets there today," he said winking at Ryuichi and giving him a cute smile. "Yea thanks a lot Tohma."

Ryuichi felt his heart jump at the sound of the name. Was Tohma mad at him?

"Yea talk to you later man, bye." Takashi said as he hung up the phone and looked over at Ryu once again. "You skipped out on your recording session?" he asked as he sat up slowly.

Ryuichi nodded as he looked down at the covers sadly. "Tohma's mad isn't he?" he asked looking like a kid who was about to get punished.

Takashi shook his head as he stood up. "No, he's more worried about you than angry," he said as he put on his shirt. "I'm taking you over to his place right now."

Ryuichi nodded as he got out of the bed. "Sorry for being a bother," he said as he searched for his shirt.

Takashi rolled his eyes and walked over to the other side of the bed where Ryuichi was standing. He pulled him close into a hug and kissed his forehead tenderly. "You're never a bother to me and you know that."

Ryuichi sighed because he knew that was the truth, but he had a hard time believing it. "Then why don't you…"

Takashi stopped him as he stared down at him a bit annoyed. "Ryuichi I thought we got over that. If a person cares for you or loves you they don't make it a habit of hurting you." He said as he continued to hold him. "I understand you grew up in a bad environment but you've been surrounded by people who care for a few years now that don't want to treat you that way."

Ryuichi nodded understandably as he continued to let himself be held. He knew this was true, but some things were hard to let go even if they're bad for you.

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Aoi had arrived home around 7pm and he knew he was in a great deal of trouble. But he'd had fun when he was out with Takashi and was willing to take any punishment that was given to him. He couldn't help that his parents loved him so much that they felt the need to show him how much they cared. They had to love him; they had taken him in as if he was their own. Aoi could be nothing but grateful and deal with whatever they wanted to do with him.

He walked into the door expecting both of them to be in the living room waiting for him. But to his surprise, they weren't. He walked throughout the whole house and to his relief no one was home. Maybe they hadn't been all day and wouldn't notice that he hadn't been home.

He made his way into his room and shut his door. He began to work on his homework when suddenly he heard the front door open downstairs. His heart was pounding when he heard them coming upstairs and he prayed that they would walk into their room and leave him alone for the night.

He heard their bedroom door open and for a few seconds later he heard it shut. He exhaled quietly as he went back to doing his homework. They were probably too tired to talk to him right now.

He continued to do his homework and he didn't notice the quiet footsteps that were approaching his door. Suddenly the door was forced open violently as his parents stood there glaring at him.

"Aoi you were late this evening weren't you?" his mother asked as she stood next to her dad. She had a leather belt in her hand with a bowl of water. Aoi's eyes became wide as he noticed that. He had been beaten like that before and it took him over a week to recover. His eyes roamed over to his dad who also had a leather belt and without realizing it he stood up and backed towards his window.

"Mama, papa I'm sorry I didn't mean to," he said as tears began to well up in his eyes. He began to tell him self over and over again that they were doing this because they loved him and he had been a bad boy. He should have never gone out with Takashi. Now he had hurt their feelings.

His mother charged in the room and walked up to Aoi. "Take off your clothes!" she demanded as she glared at him.

Aoi obeyed as he began to take off his uniform. Maybe if he did they wouldn't go as hard on him. But this was the first time both of them wanted to do this at the same time. He was afraid and he was sorry for hurting them.

After he got all his clothes off and was stripped down to his boxers, his mother threw the bowl of water on him and quickly struck him with the leather belt across his chest.

Aoi let out a loud yep as it stung his body. It always hurt more when he was wet. He didn't have any time to recover before his dad came up to him and struck him even harder across the shoulder. While he knew it was best that he hold in his pain he couldn't help it. It hurt so badly and he knew of no other way to suppress his cries.

"You want to get loud boy? Are you hoping that someone will hear and come to your rescue?" his father screamed down at him angrily as he struck him again. His mother soon followed after.

"No papa, I'm sorry." Aoi screamed out in pain. He wanted them to stop but he knew that he deserved this. He had disobeyed them and didn't care.

"Are you talking back you brat!" his mother screamed at him as she struck him in the face.

Aoi screamed out again as he fell to his knees. He could feel his parents hitting him excessively and he tried his best to be a good boy and not cry out. They were only punishing him because they loved him. But he wasn't handling this punishment like a good boy should. His eyes began to blur as he stared at the ground. He was in so much pain and he wanted them to stop. But he had to take it, so he could show them how much he loved them back.

End Chapter

A/N: omg that was horrible! I'm so horrible. Believe it or not I found it quite disturbing to write that last part. Don't you just hate his parents?