STAGE SETTING AND INVITATIONS
"Hey bro can you do me a favor?"
"Sure," said Hephaestus, looking up from his work with a grease mark on his cheek.
"Is that a Harley Davison?" gawked Hermes,peering behind Hephaestus.
"No, don't even think about it," snapped Hephaestus. "That's Ares's bike given for repairs,he'll skin you alive if you take it. And stop drooling."
"Oh,never mind; do you have a Stadium exclusively for Archery?"
"When do you need it?"
"In three hours."
"Hmm, I'll have to do some tinkering; haven't used for like,two hundred years."
"Thanks a ton,mate! Where is it?"
"Fujiyama"
Hermes's eyes popped out. "Are you kidding?"
"Oh don't worry. There is enough mist to fool even Dad."
"Too much mist. That means I have to arrange escorts and. . ." Hermes sank in thought while Hephaestus fitted his artificial legs snugly.
"Right. Thank you very,very much bro,"
"No problem."
"But I really need to run. And I need to talk to Themis."
"Aah," he said sympathetically. "But Hermes, you never told me who are participating in this contest. Don't tell me Percy Jackson and Clarisse. I don't know which one's worse."
Hermes showed all his teeth then. "Don't worry, this one's going to be in the news for centuries."
"Home sweet home. Now comes the hard part though," Hermes murmured grimly.
"You're back!"
"In one piece too!"
"I need to make a call,"
"No."
Hermes started. "Why?"
"Guess."
"Um,I didn't take you along for the fun?"
"Wrong."
"Let me see," Hermes held up two fat juicy rats. "What about now?"
"Sure!" offered George, reaching for the bigger rat greedily.
"George,you said you won't yield even if Hermes gave you a rat!"
"Swhat sid su say?"
"Arrrgh!"
"Calm down Martha, men never do what they say. Have yours before he gobbles it up too."
"Supisin' you'e a man suu,"
"It is bad manners to talk while eating," said Hermes smugly.
"ALL THE OLYMPIAN GODS!" thundered Themis from the other side. "Within TWO HOURS?"
"I know Lady Themis, I totally understand,"
"What do you understand,boy? Do you know how hard it is to visit even one of them? You want me to invite ALL of them?"
"Well, they'll come if you just tell them the twins names,"
"Why me,boy? I thought this sort of stuff was YOUR EXPERTISE?"
"But you're still Goddess of Heralds,"
"You know Hermes, you and your snakes always had too much cheek for your own good. I could have Zeus finish you off RIGHT NOW. One word and you'll lie face down in TARTARUS!" The phone whined and trembled violently.
"Please," whispered Hermes,in his most Charming tone. Dead Silence.
"Right," she growled. "Only this one time. And for front seat tickets!"
"Thank you soo very much, my lady!"
He cut the line and blew a sigh of relief.
"All your fault. Our name is stained because of your antics."
"My fault? I ought to say that! Who called Themis a stink-mouthed jackass?"
"I just voiced aloud what you thought."
"Thank you very much, my thoughts are my exclusive property. I'd much rather you shut up."
"Hermes, I'd much prefer you said 'be quiet' instead of 'shut up'. You don't know how much that hurts me!"
"Oh my; Martha, don't cry all over me. Anyway, he'll come around all right. We're all he's got."
"Who said so? I've another best friend,"
"Oh yeah ?"
"Yes. One who always listens to me no matter what I say to her,"
"I knew it was female,"
"Do not interrupt! Where was I? Ah,she doesn't interrupt me or irritate me, she doesn't even ask me for food,"
"But Atlanta Johnson needs food,"
"And no Athena girl will listen to you blabber,"
"Martha,did you say Atlanta had a crush on Hermes?"
"Yeah, she was clutching her purse so hard,bet she was all nervous,"
"Hang on; you say this girl has a crush on Hermes because she was clutching her purse?"
"Isn't that enough?"
"Silly, she must have been afraid Hermes would steal it!"
"I said, DON'T INTERRUPT ME!" The bed shook violently.
"And then, your best friend," prodded Martha.
"Will always lend me her shoulder to cry on and she's really cute and cuddly!"
"Are we supposed to guess?"
"Try."
"My answer: Aphrodite."
"Not her!" He spat on the ground. "The most annoying female ever!"
"More clues,please,"
"She's right here, beside me."
Martha shifted importantly. George went right round the caduceus and glowered at her.
"He told that it wasn't us."
"Who is it ?" she asked,her voice trembling with emotion.
Hermes gazed dreamily out of the window. "My steadfast companion, my pillow." He looked lovingly at the fluffy white cushion and rested his head on it.
"You know, for a split second, I thought it was Iris,"
"Both of you," said Hermes cutting in. "Wake me up after two hours. Need to get ready to host the show."
"What show?" they hissed excitedly, but Hermes was already snoring.