NOTE:
Thank you very,very,very much for your reviews Abby Thalia Lu Rue and Emily a huntress of Artemis! ! ! You made my day. Absolutely ! ! And I love your response to The Pillow. Thank you too, for those others who just read my story and liked it. This chapter is for you, and you alone.
IT'S SHOW TIME ! ! !
Lord Hermes was in his element. Indeed, it was long since he had been so happy. He was commenting! He was wearing his ancient green robes that Athena had weaved for him. George and Martha were quiet, for once. And none of the annoying cheer girls came near him, because his right pocket smelt of dead rats. Bliss.
"Welcome, one and all! An immortal contest just for you to watch : 'Notch it up Fast'! As Themis must have told you," a sturdy young lady in the front row nodded vigorously, clutching a family-pack chilly popcorn . "this is an Archery skill contest between the divine twins Apollo and Artemis!" A deafening cheer followed. Hermes looked at Hephaestus buried in the crowd and mouthed "Your sound system rocks!"
"Turn around." He mouthed back. Hermes obeyed. Half of the Japanese sky now served as a giant screen. Hermes saw himself standing in the middle of the misty airborne stadium, gripping his Caduceus for a mike. The focus now shifted to Hera and Poseidon in a heated argument.
"As you can see, Hephaestus has done a splendid job with the setting," more cheers and Hephaestus inclined his head in reply.
"Now while we wait for the contestants to get ready, let's go and the opinions of some important people. Come on, let's go to Leto!"
While Hermes flew away, Hephaestus panned the camera on the audience. He sure wanted to know which side his mother was in.
"I say this," said Hera, pointing to something silver. Hephaestus did a double take. Since when did she start supporting Artemis?
"No, I say this," said Poseidon acidly, pointing to gold. Okay, he perfectly understood why Poseidon was in Apollo's side.
"Old is gold!" stated Hera.
"But new is nice."
"This one's good for your health,"
"But this is more interesting," said Poseidon. Hephaestus was utterly confused.
"I say Pepper with marshmallows is the best!" declared Hera.
"Nah, the Hot chilly peppermint flavour gives me a real kick."
"Are you going to buy popcorn or not?" demanded Demeter.
He shifted the view. Iris sat at the back, devouring chocolate like there was no tomorrow. She seemed to enjoy herself. She caught the camera and gave a shy wave.
Athena was busy shuffling her notes. She sent a pointed look of disgust to her right. Turn the camera. Aaahh, Ares. His brother. The apple of his mother's eye. The one who got away with his wife. His ex-wife was sitting beside him too, touching her make-up, as always. The sight made his flesh crawl.
"Hey, Meter," Ares called out imperiously.
"My name is Demeter! I DO NOT like to be referred to a system of measurement. No offence Athena," she said coolly. Athena flicked away the apology.
"More popcorn," he ordered.
"Half my stock is out, thanks to you! Even Themis isn't eating as much!"
"Iris has a whole box to herself," he noted.
"That's chocolate."
"Just one more packet!"
"Right. But it shall be the last."
"I want chocolate too!"
"Fine! One extra large Hot chilly peppermint along with twenty bars of chocolate." Her nymph came running with the items.
"Gosh, that's a whole lot of calories you're consuming Ares," noted Aphrodite,with disapproval etched all over her face.
"Chocolate made you more robust ; heh heh."
"Like you aren't already," observed Athena drily.
"You! What are you doing here?" he snapped.
"I'm the Judge of the event, dungbrain,"
"Stop insulting me,"
"She said something right, you know" remarked Aphrodite. Ares was miffed.
"Demeter's sure got her flavors right," he said with relish. He placed the popcorn between his legs, fished out his knife and started cutting up the chocolate into bits. He put them all into the popcorn and stirred with his long blade.
"Yum," he licked the blade off the chocolate.
"Urghh!" cried Aphrodite.
"Want some, baby?"
"NO!" she said with horror. Athena was repulsed by the sight too. Their eyes met.
"Hey,where are you going?" he asked.
"Nowhere sweetheart," she replied sweetly. "And I'm not returning," she added in an undertone.
"You know, I never thought I would think the same thing as you," Athena said,walking arm in arm with Aphrodite.
"Can I share the Top box with you? You know all this pollution affects my foundation."
"You are welcome, as long as you stay quiet."
"Hey, you could curl your hair you know,your face will go really well with some bangs," she chattered. "And you must avoid wearing grey, it is too depressing and. . ."
"Don't push your luck too much darling," Aphrodite got the hint and shut up.
"Well, that'll make news for sure, Athena-Aphrodite peace treaty," thought Hephaestus. A phone buzzed. Hermes.
"I'm ready," was all he said. Hephaestus shifted the camera picture. Now Hermes was standing opposite the office of a woman's Self Help Group.
"A fitting place indeed for the Goddess of Womanly demureness. Let's meet Lady Leto."
A pretty lady, clothed in a loose fitting top and long skirt was seen behind the desk.
"Hermes. I'm rather busy."
"Sorry to take away your precious time Goddess," he trained the buttonhole camera(literally) on her. "We'd just like your opinion on the Twins Archery contest today. And aren't you attending it?" Pause.
"I've had ENOUGH of their fighting! I DON'T CARE! Honestly. From the day they were born, they were fighting. I am stronger, I am more powerful, I am more beautiful, I am older, my girlfriend, my boyfriend, the list goes on. They killed poor Niobe's children cause she just said she had more than me. What the hell is wrong with that? I, for one, am not jealous. Growing two up itself had made me lose my hair. Suddenly, both of them come home bloody and wet and say, 'We avenged you, mum.' Idiots! I am NOT watching my kids fight. It is insulting!"
"Um, what would you do if you could lay your hands on the one who started the fight?"
"Somebody started the fight? I thought it was spontaneous." Hermes grinned.
"Right, madam, thank you very much for your time,"
"Do me a favor okay? Make sure my daughter doesn't kill Apollo."
"Right, let's call it a family affair and ask what the big Daddy has to say about it all," Hermes rambled. "Athena, you're sure he isn't there?"
"Yes," she replied, from Mount Fuji. "Ganymede is absent. And the girls are surprisingly calm. You know they go wild only when Apollo, Dad or you are there."
"Er, thanks for the very, um, bland comment. Well, I better peek in at ."
The great hall of the Olympians was quiet. So was Mt. Fuji. It isn't often the other Immortals get to even see the interiors of Olympus and all of them were drinking in the sight hungrily. Hermes tiptoed in and looked around.
"Quiet, too quiet for my good," he said,shaking his head.
"I knew he was up to no good; mostly gone to see that Janet Goodman," declared Hera, gobbling up the popcorn.
"Then why did you leave him?" asked Poseidon.
"Are you crazy? I want to see Artemis pounded. Janet can wait."
"Too quiet," said Hermes in the screen. "Oh, hey dad!"
Zeus was snoring. He had his legs curled up under him and his mouth was half open, resting on the cold marble podium. His face was only inches away from the eternal flame burning in the centre of the table. He looked the very picture of peace and tranquility.
"You know, I really don't have the heart to wake Dad up."
Now Zeus was suddenly breathing hard and fast. His chest heaved alarmingly.
"Father, are you all right?" Hermes queried.
His whole frame shook now.
"Dad?" Hermes was definitely scared.
"Haashhoooo!" The whole of Mount Olympus shook for that instant. Hermes was blown far away and covered in slime. Zeus's eyes flew open.
"At last, that nasty nose block's gone,"
"You could give me advance warning before you sneeze, you know," noted Hermes, hanging limply from Dionysus's seat.
"Hermes? My boy? Why are you here?" he sat up and vanished the slime away.
"Did Themis ever come to you?"
"Ahh! That Fight? Did I miss it? Who won?"
"You weren't asleep for so long, you know."
"Oh. You know once Hera woke me up and I found it was twenty days since I fell asleep."
"How did you figure that out?"
"You were only flirting with Ira when I fell asleep. She was pregnant when I woke up. So I figured it must be twenty days. . ." he faltered when he saw the camera. "Sorry."
"Right, dad," Hermes tried to hide his flush. "Are you coming with me?"
"Sure, yes! But where is that inhaler that Apollo gave me?" he looked under his seat, within his crumpled robes, even within his stock of lightning bolts.
"Hera says she has a spare one," Hermes began.
"Bless her! She can be real annoying at times but she sure is such a help. Right boy,I'm coming."
"Come here," Hera called out imperiously, pulling Zeus next to her before other girls could mob him.
"Hey, bro, you really ought to try this one," said Poseidon in the other side, munching his popcorn with relish. "Hot chilly peppermint. Demeter just invented it!"
"Really? All right I'll . . ."
"No, Zeus got a cold. Spice will only make his throat sore. Pepper with marshmallows is what'll suit him. Right Zeus?"
"Um, Hera I really want to try this new flavor,"
"Of course not! Sister, give him the silver packet". Zeus turned his big grey eyes on Demeter.
"Please, you know how much I love your dishes. . ."
"I'm not opposing Hera, sorry," she stated.
"A couple packet of Hot chilly peppermint," rumbled a deep hoarse baritone. They turned.
"Hades! My goodness,didn't expect you," remarked Poseidon.
"Came for Persephone. Said she couldn't miss it. And I wanted to know why Hermes hadn't come down yet."
"He's very busy organizing this stuff," said Demeter, throwing a glance at her pale daughter next to him. "What did you do to her?"
"Mum it's okay,I'm dieting,"Persephone replied softly.
"Dieting?"
"She's been like this ever since she went to meet Aphrodite." Hades replied.
"Can't you do anything about it?"
"What, force feed her? Last time I tried that with a pomegranate, you ran to Zeus and Hestia with complaints of Harassment."
"I see you haven't forgotten me," said a sweet voice.
"Hestia! My dear, what an absolute surprise!" Poseidon ran with outstretched arms.
"Demeter, plain salted flavor please," she continued tersely. "Back row." She vanished just when Poseidon would have touched her. Poseidon looked utterly crushed.
"Keep telling you mate, it's useless," said Zeus shaking his head.
"I keep telling the same about my daughter Rowena but you don't seem to give up chasing her."
"Who's Rowena? Who? ?"
"A million years and her ears are still sharp," Zeus mumbled, while Hera pounced on a reluctant Poseidon for information.