Hi there! Sorry to keep you waiting!School stuffs are always on my way. Here..another uhm..boring chapter..but just read until the end..i beg you..because I did my best to break the monotony of the boredom. Please keep on supporting!leave a review..thank you!
"Kaoru, have you thought of a new plan?" Yuka asked wearily because she spent her whole day thinking of new plans for Natsume and Mikan's relationship to level up a bit and work out at least. Yet she didn't succeed and she couldn't think of a reason why that brain of hers wasn't functioning correctly when it was supposed to be an efficient machine.
The worst answer she could expect has arrived.
"Not yet," Kaoru slumped her shoulders..also tired of generating new ideas when she was starting to entertain the thought that maybe they hadn't had a very good idea after all- the idea of being THEM together.
Yuka could just heave out a sigh. What more could she expect now?
But as always, determination makes impossible things work..makes your dysfunctional brain returns to its sole position and purpose. And this happened in Yuka's dark moment.
" Don't worry..i already have!" she blurted out with a burning spirit hopeful that this time everything will work out perfectly…that they will finally sow what they deserve from what they have already reaped..from all those hardships and sacrifices..from all of those efforts they've been exerting-if they can even count those to be worthy of what they are trying to achieve. Pushing THEM to be together is like attracting two magnets with like poles or attracting a magnet to the other which has already been demagnetized.
Kaoru then jumped from the couch she was resting onto and happily sat beside Yuka on the sofa adjacent the couch.
They started to talk. They started to impart more ideas that would facilitate the new plan. Speaking generally, they started again.
The intensity of their interests towards the plan has been raging that they were already like soaring in their own clouds when suddenly Yuka cao8ught a glimpse outside through her glass window.
The scene depicted the two…with Natsume's upper limb resting on Mikan's right shoulder while Mikan's hand holding Natsume's lower back.
Yuka had a misconception about the flash in her eyes.
"Oh..look..Kaoru..it's improving," she said in a voice which describes the feeling aloft..her eyes were again sparkling..shimmering-the very reason why she didn't soon notice the expression her daughter was wearing, ….deadpan without any hint of the slightest happiness.
"…we better go there..," she partly agreed but she knew there was something wrong that she immediately urged her nest friend to go there right away. Something was really not right.
Yuka quickly went downstairs brought by excitement and Kaoru did the same brought by uneasiness.
They soon were already by the entrance door waiting for the two.
And when they were already walking nearer and nearer…Yuka's painted smile crushed.
Kaoru's vision was right.
Hell…another problem has emerged. If I were the viewer of the film, I would have expected that after that is THE END.
"Natsume, what happened?" Kaoru ran over to them and helped Natsume to walk on his own. She hadn't had time to thank Mikan for assisting her son.
"Persona…I continued the mission even without Polka," Natsume told the truth but he never had any intention of making Mikan take the blame. He just had to affix the phrase…"without Polka." Well, he needed to without a particular known reason.
However, this made Mikan to be irate. She thought of something she shouldn't have, like " He was again blaming me..slapping me with 'how stupid I am', hell…he hated me this much."
She does easily misunderstand Natsume's words.
"Really, Mikan? You didn't go with him? Why? What's wrong?" Yuka bombarded her with these questions that she took as frustrating.
Mikan knew she had the right to be mad that time because they were making it look like everything was her fault but then she realized it was indeed her fault…she was guilty.
Natsume caught her.
"But anyway, she saved me, she managed to nullify Persona's alice before he was able to touch me," Natsume told them with a tepid tone.
He is after all emotionless all the time which makes it the very reason why people misunderstand his thinking..his conveyance of his feeling.
"Oh..thank you!Mikan-chan!" Kaoru finally had the time to thank her and then she hugged her tight full of warm appreciation.
" Thank goodness! I'm glad you're both fine," Yuka was to shed a tear of relief but it didn't run down her face until it just dried up.
"I'm sorry, you have been risking your lives just for the sake of the mission," Kaoru then spilled out her regrets. As a mother, who wouldn't feel any regret for making your children do dangerous mission to fulfill your satisfaction and expectation?
" Glad you know it," Natsume then replied with his infamous smirk.
"Don't worry, we'll stop this mission as soon as possible-," Yuka left her statement hanging at least to give the two some chill of delight since they both detest each other and the fact that they would be separated was indeed a luck.
She was about to continue it so not to prolong the delight-if they were even feeling it-because she was aware that it would turn into disappointment with what she was to reveal, when Mikan reacted to her first statement.
" Good, Mom, I'm also quitting the mission, I'm ready to take the punishment," she said blankly but with full willpower.
Natsume threw a glance towards her. He just simply couldn't believe it. He had to react, too.
"Hn. Yes, so I'm free now? Good," he dared to ask. It wasn't even good for him..to be free. First, he was never used to it since her mother was no one but the boss. Second, no more subject to tease with if that would happen which would substantially contribute to the ennui he feels in life. Third, he can't just stay away from Mikan thought he really hasn't known yet the main reason why he can't. Something invisible keeps on attaching him to her. He can't control it. Anyway, he is willing.
" Of course not!" Yuka and Kaoru answered in unison.
Natsume couldn't just contend the happiness he was feeling. It wasn't the end. No worries. He then looked at Mikan . He saw what he never wished to see from Mikan. She was in a deep rage..in agony. Heck, why?
"We have new mission for you," Yuka revealed cheerfully.
"We won't stop until we succeed!" Kaoru then said her part with the same energy as Yuka's.
"Hell..can you not just accept the fact that we'll never be what you're dreaming of?" Natsume was speaking for Mikan. He knew this was what Mikan had to say or a part of what she had to say.
But Mikan's words are far way worse than what he seemed to expect.
Mikan was in no way born to maintain her calmness even when a need is to exist. She was in no way used to control her temper even when a person's feeling is at stake. She was in no way to stand in every way the people surrounding her expect her to do. Because, with this situation, she could no longer do it…could no longer stand it.
"Mom, I can't do this mission anymore. It's no use. He's right…," she waveringly looked at Natsume who was wearing a worried, gentle face yet it wasn't the right time to think of why? And then she continued," We're both different persons, we can't be what you think..we're not even friends. He hates me and I hate him as much as he does or even more. Our situation is just getting worse and I'm tired of everything, mom. I'm hell tired," she concluded with a feeble voice..having a hard time explaining her side.
It was hard on her part because she never really wanted to give it up. She never really wished to be away from Natsume. It was difficult..very heartbreaking..to admit her own pain…to admit the truth..that HE hates her. It was not easy to pretend that she hates him,too because as of what her heart was able to comprehend…Hatred is not what it is feeling. Something is yet to be defined.
Yuka and Kaoru stood there speechless of what they heard. Natsume couldn't make a move either. He didn't even know if he were in the right position to lift even a single move. Crap, he didn't even know what should he feel.
Mikan then ran and ran until she reached her favorite spot, the Sakura tree. This place has lots of memories she wanted to delete..or at least bury them deeply. She wanted to shove away anything that reminds her of Natsume because everything about him causes her pain.
Yet it's still unclear why she feels such kind of pain.
She could do nothing but to succumb…she needed to shed tears or else she wouldn't be able to move on.
Silence enveloped the whole area with her sobs that complemented the grave atmosphere.
Until someone spoke.
"You're ignoring me," Natsume told her in an oblivious bitter tone. He was standing infront of Mikan ready to block her in case she thought of running.
Mikan was shocked that she quickly wiped her tears. Hell, he was able to see his weak point. It was a shame on her.
She suddenly thought of something to answer…anything that would just fill up the blank space provided for her answer.
"Oh..i forgot this is your favorite spot.I should be going," she stood hoping this would make Natsume satisfied. Natsume's aura was different. It wasn't the cool one that would normally just let everything to slip out of his hand. This caused Mikan to be tense. So, she needed to go away as soon as possible. She was not in the need of having an argument with him.
"You didn't answer me," his voice was radiating anger and concern.
Mikan could feel Natsume's eyes intensely fixated on her. She knew what Natsume wanted. And she knew what she herself needed.
Mikan raised her head and looked at Natsume's eyes. Both were searching for each other's answer. They both wanted it to be clear..to be settled before everything closes between them.
" As I said, I'm tired of everything, Natsume. I'm tired of our fights..the mission..and I'm tired of you telling me how idiotic I am..that I'm the worst!" she yelled with a stream of tears springing from her hazel orbs.
"Don't blame me..because you know…. you really are," Natsume has his own way and this was one. He wanted to provoke her so that she could say every dire thing about him..so that she could spill out all the anger she was feeling for him..so that after this..she could have a sense of peace and would eventually forget about him. If this is what she needed.
Mikan shot a glaring look at him.
" And I'm tired of feeling your coldness…tired of thinking why and how the hell your words and actions affect me this much..hurt me this much? And I don't even know why! And you…you..you…you don't even know how I feel yet..you..you always…inflict me the same pain every day," she trailed off. She was feeling a bit humiliated of what she had just said. She had just proved how stupid she is…how weak she is when it comes to him.
Natsume wanted to stop this as much as possible…to stop the flow of the pain Mikan feels. He hasn't seen exactly how much pain has he caused her. How numb of him to overlook the feelings of the woman he cares for.
But he can't just control himself from being cold…from being heartless.
" But still..you'll be with me according to their plan..," he was now looking downward. He can't stand to see Mikan's tainted face.
" Yes…and I hate it!i hate the mission..i hate my life..i hate you! So stop coming around like you give a hell care why I'm ignoring you and making me feel like forever I'll be stuck with you.. you don't know anything…so stay away..pretend that I never exist in your life..for once..let me live the life I should deserve..i shouldn't be in pain..i should be happy," she pleaded with a more serious tone..the tears that were rushing lately have been suppressed from falling. She decided not to take their situation emotionally anymore. She needed to calm down.
" Oh..so you don't have a happy life, huh? Tch. How pity..," Natsume remarked seeing that Mikan was regaining her composure. He assumed that everything would be back to the usual. And so, he meant this to be actually a joke.
Yet he couldn't deny that he was also hurt by Mikan's sharp words. Now he knew how much it feels to be ostracized by the person you care for.
" I'll never have it as long as you're here," Mikan concluded detachedly with a piercing look onto Natsume as she walked away.
" Oh….that hurts," Natsume muttered under his breath with his bangs covering his eyes, wishing Mikan would know. But that… could no longer happen starting from that point.
There. My goal was to make it a lengthy chapter..like 4000 words or more but i can't cause i need to sleep now. Sorry for my grammar and misspelled words. I was not able to edit this since I was really in a hurry to submit. I can't say when will be my next update…I need to prepare for my exams and contests and I still need to update my other two stories…but I'll try to update as soon as possible. Until next time!thanks for reading!