Chapter 20

"Adversity, we get around it;
searched for joy, in you I found it."
Relient K – Pressing On

He was losing himself. He could feel it even as he struggled against the wolf within.

Thick, gray hair pushed through the skin on his arms and his mind kept turning to the hunt and the kill. His fingers curled as they tried to shrink into paws, the nails growing thick like claws. Every bone in his body groaned in protest as they began to break down and reform, sculpting his form into that of canine.

Or at least trying to.

He would not give in. Stubbornly, Remus held onto his shape, only partially transforming into that of Moony.

"But you are not separate."

"Wha…?" Remus meant to ask, only it came out as a whine, a kind of whimpering question. Then he realised two things: that the words he heard were in his mind like they'd been in that other place and that he wasn't really Remus anymore.

Alarmed, Remus tried again, "Is that you?" but all that he vocalized was a wolfish growl. He looked down at his hands again, a mix between fingers and paws, caught in the middle of wolf and human. What was happening to him?

Be calm, Remus,Remus tried to convince himself. This is still you. You are still Remus John Lupin. You work at Blumgeower Books. Yes, you are a werewolf, but that is not who you are. That is not WHO you are! Remus frantically looked around and saw Draco and Harry looking over at him, a disturbing blend of horror and alarm on their faces.

"Harry?" he asked, but a soft bark was all that his vocal cords could produce. His eyeteeth throbbed.

Without words, Harry reached out for Remus, and then dropped his hand limply to his side. The silence echoed with questions too terrible to be asked. Remus dropped his eyes again to his hands and found he couldn't say anything; the sight of his misshapen fingers, long claws, and gnarled knuckles had knocked his breath away. Not human. His hands were not human.

Then his anguish boiled up from his anger and fear and hopelessness and erupted in a howl of frustration. "I'm cursed!" His cry echoed off the high walls of the core. "Why is everything about me cursed? Why can't anything ever be right?"

"You struggle. Your life is always a struggle."

Remus darted his eyes around, snapping his head from left to right to see where those words were coming from, searching for the statical form of Sirius.

"Where are you?" he growled, unsure if he was really hearing Sirius or if it was some insane trick of his mind, that he was going crazy as some werewolves eventually did.

"I am here." The words resounded in his head, but he continued to look around anyway, and eventually he saw it, a soft shadow, an outline really, of Sirius standing next to the far wall.

"Help me," Remus said desperately, strangely unsurprised that Sirius could understand his growls and woofs.

"Stop struggling. Accept who you are, what you are." The figure stepped forward from the shadow near the wall. It faded as it entered the light from the window high overhead. It continued to come forward, gaining more substance and definition as the light was left behind for more shadow. "It is the only way. You treat Moony like a cancer. You are Moony. Moony is you. The two shall never be separate. Accept." The figure tossed its head, flipping long hair out of its eyes.

"No!" Remus howled. "I am not a monster!" He felt his teeth elongate and his snout lengthen; he cried out in pain. "Help me!"

"Listen Remus." The figure of Sirius Black stood next to him and a formless cloud billowed up around the two. "Think." The cloud built up and when it finally obscured everything around them, it started to fade away as Remus panted short, hot breaths. With time it dissipated like smoke and Remus saw that he was once again in that strange plane in between worlds. The place with no name.

He stood on an open expanse dotted with trees bare from winter, or blight, or maybe it was just that nothing lived here, he wasn't sure. But the difference, the existence of something new, something standing out from the landscape gave him a sense of promise.

And he looked down at his hands once more and saw that they were hands…and then paws… as if the two were on separate realities overlying each other, that they took up the same space at the same time.

Remus found relief in the wastelands, where bare trees were propagating out of the dead earth and his memories of a long gone past blended with the temptation of unrealised desires. He immersed himself into the realm where he could forget about curses and lost chances and look towards a promise of spring rain falling upon the cold land, covering the world in forgetful petals fallen from fresh blooms, where everything remained tranquil in nothingness.

"Stop." Remus looked over and saw Sirius standing there, his image flipping between the man and the dog. "You cannot hide, Moony."

The man walked forward, his arms out, reaching for Remus. Remus gripped those arms and he was struck with a sense of déjà vu. It all felt so familiar. But he wondered how something so alien could be identifiable, this stark feeling of panic… something he knew so intimately. Sirius gripped tighter and then Remus became aware that it wasn't this stark landscape or the ever-present panic, it was Sirius, his steadfast support and brilliant invention, the gentle way he guarded those he cared for. Remus remembered it all, in a surprisingly crisp sense of recollection.

"What do I do?" he asked.

"Accept."

Remus huffed. "You said that, Sirius. How do I do that?"

Sirius smiled. It was a smile of reassurance and loyalty. It was that same smile that led the Marauders into hell and back without a single singe. Well, perhaps that wasn't quite correct, but Remus was willing to overlook the hard lessons that all teenagers must weather to be the adults they grow into.

"Stop fighting."

"Stop…?" but Remus' automatic rebuff was cut off by Sirius' soft lips. He'd been tugged forward and kissed gently, Sirius' hands resting lightly on Remus' hips. It was protective and encompassing in its lightness, like Sirius didn't have to demand or force Remus' acceptance. As if he just knew this was where he belonged and Remus would never question any of it. And Remus understood that he couldn't agree more.

Then Sirius pulled back, leaving him breathless in wonder.

He placed one finger over Remus' lips and shushed his next protestation. "Just listen, Remus. You always were one to argue with me." He cracked his cocky smile, so reminiscent of an easier time.

Remus nodded dumbly, sharply aware that he couldn't have said anything through the beating of his heart.

"Just feel Moony. Feel yourself. And know they are the same."

Sirius stepped away from Remus and he felt immediately chilled. The bare trees stood about them and he longed for that spring rain, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. Sirius, who had just held him firmly, kissed him with a lover's caress, was fading again, flickering in and out.

"Don't leave me," Remus said in a panic.

"Time is short," was all he said, yet his form gained more substance as he spoke the words. He nodded at Remus, urging him to do something… something Remus wasn't quite sure about. So he did just what Sirius suggested; he let Moony free and stopped fighting for the first time in decades.

In this odd land of gray, Remus found freedom.

At first, Remus panicked as Moony lunged forward, breaking free from the self-induced chains. Remus swallowed hard and without struggle, gave himself over to the wolf. He howled, long and edgy and slightly manic and then burst off to race the devil, his tail held high like a young colt's on its first canter. He felt renewed and he knew that nothing could hold him back; he could have the world on a gold platter if he so chose.

Eventually, he returned to Sirius, who stood laughing with glee, his mouth open, white teeth showing in his delight. Remus (Moony) rolled at his feet in unfettered delight, and then he stood as Remus (but wasn't he still Moony?) and gripped Sirius in a bear hug.

"You see?" Sirius asked.

Remus nodded. He did see and with this new unveiled view, the colours seemed sharper and the scents were fragrant like newly opened blossoms.

Remus flowed fluidly from Moony to himself, and each time the transformation was made, it came easier, more naturally, like he'd picked up the old bicycle he'd spent each summer riding and was relearning how to switch the gears. Sirius watched, nodding the entire time, his dark hair falling around his ears and into his eyes, which were bright and crinkling at the corners. Remus continued to look upon his dearest friend, only a shimmer of his old self, but he was still beautiful and undeniable and God how Remus felt like weeping at all he had lost, yet still cheer for all he had gained.

Luckily, he knew everything wasn't lost and reality had Sirius standing right there.

"You are ready, we must return."

Remus nodded. Then he wondered something.

"Where is the staff?" he asked Sirius.

A knowing smirk took over the man's face and Sirius chuckled. "Safe, for now."

Remus accepted that, because how could he not trust the man who released him from that prison?

"What did you do to Remus? Merlin help you if it can't be reversed. I don't care what the Ministry would do to me… you will wish your ancestors had died an early death." Harry gripped the front of the man's robes and shook him violently. He knew that he was going too far, but something within him raged and that rage was wonderful, soaring.

"What the hell? Harry!" Harry looked over at the door to the core and there stood Ron, panting heavily with Plincher by his side, who looked on in wonder, mixed with something that fought to either be relief or horror.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Ron screamed again and Harry finally dropped the flopping body of Kogelmann.

He noticed that Draco was on the floor next to his feet with Remus not far away, also on the floor, his half transformed body twitching. He looked back down to Kogelmann and cursed under his breath. Dropping to a squat, he felt for a pulse at the man's jugular. Relief flooded Harry to find he hadn't killed him.

"What is going on?" Ron asked as he jogged up to the four men. "We heard an explosion and… Is that Remus?" he asked.

Harry shook his head, not to negate Ron's question but to clear away the glue muddling his concentration. He'd found out from Kogelmann's mind that something was affecting them, but he couldn't quite remember. His brain was clouded by rage and fury, his body wanted to strike out and hurt.

He'd also discovered something else important. Something he had to remember. He had to tell Ron, if only he could just focus.

"Harry?"

Harry looked back up at Ron, his ginger hair wild and covered in a layer of dust. Plincher's face was smeared with dirt and one of his deep brown eyes had swollen closed.

"Who hit you?" Harry asked, finding comfort in this non-sequitur. He wondered if he looked as bad.

"Harry, what's happened to Remus and…?" Ron trailed off, but Harry could hear the unspoken words. And you.

"I don't know," Harry said finally, still struggling with himself. "There's something—" he stopped and stared up towards the ceiling. He could see the colourful sparkles reflecting the light from the windows, dazzling one moment and vanishing the next as clouds blocked out the sun. "Something in the air."

Ron studied the air; his eyes squinted as he sought something just out of eyesight. Then with a sharp snap of his wand he blew out a window. The shattered glass, mixed with the motes of reds and blues, crashed down and with another flick of his wand, a gust of wind burst out, clearing the air above.

The rainbow of lights were blown away and Harry's mind slowly cleared with it.

His eyes searched the open window--watching as dark clouds began rolling by, beginning to block out the sun--his head turned away from his friends and allies. Holding his body stiff, he let his eyes return to Ron and he saw a curious look, but no more horror and no disdain.

"Thanks," Harry murmured, somewhat ashamed, definitely frightened, at the beast he'd been warring with inside his heart as surely as Remus now battled on his own playing field.

"Okay," Ron said exasperatedly, "will you tell me what's going on?"

Harry remained silent as Draco struggled to his feet, still clutching his Mark. Hearing a soft snort, he looked over to Remus and saw the man stand, no aspect of wolf left.

"It was a powder. Kogelmann had released it in the air before we came in. It was specially designed to fog our minds." Harry stopped, musing over this. "Then he did other things… there was a ball and a spell and…" Harry stopped speaking. It had affected Draco's Dark Mark and Remus' lycanthropy, but in Harry it had only found the Dark inside of him and enhanced its drive. Darkness he knew was there, but it'd never exerted that kind of force before.

Harry didn't know how he felt about that. He once blindly ignored that darkness within him, the urge to punish, the thrill in knowing he was one of the most powerful wizards alive. Then as his Auror career came to a close, he realised it had started to become an issue. It was one of the reasons he hadn't so much regretted leaving. It was a shallow recompense. Standing there in the core with his friends and fallen foe, a soft breeze blew through the room and all he was certain of was that power was addictive and the only thing that had stopped him from completely giving in to it was Draco.

"How you feeling now?" Ron asked as he went to Remus to check him over.

"Fine, I guess," Harry said softly, his attention on Draco.

"Yeah, the Mark's stopped burning," Draco added. He rolled up his sleeve and gently touched the swollen Mark, dark and angry looking.

"What is this place?" Plincher asked. They all jumped as thunder rang high above them. Small drops of rain began tinking off the metal roof.

Remus shuffled forward, leaning on Ron. "The core of the Labyrinth," he said. "Harry, check him over would you," Remus said, gesturing towards Kogelmann's prone body, "He should have a key on him, and I really don't think it was that stupid ball." Remus sounded surly, shaking his hand sharply, and Harry really couldn't blame him.

Rifling through Kogelmann's pockets, Harry found a vial full of a fine powder, a wand, a couple of rings, and around the man's neck on a bit of twine was a large brass key. He tossed the vial at Ron, who snatched it from the air but still gave Harry a dirty look.

"Don't throw potentially dangerous substances about, damn it," Ron scolded. "Didn't you learn anything in Potions?" he finished with a chuckle.

Standing over the prone form of Kogelmann, Harry looked back at Draco. His friend moved slowly towards Remus through the mounds and piles of destroyed artefacts. They stood close together speaking and Harry looked on. They were so close, just a few steps towards the door, but they seemed miles away. Everyone seemed so far away and he looked back up to the sky and watched as the rain fell down.

"Potter?" Plincher asked, stepping in front of him. "What happened here?" The Auror glanced around at the piles of debris and then the body of Kogelmann. He returned his gaze to Harry, obviously expecting some detailed report on how the room had met its end.

"Justice."

Auror Incident Report #273. Dark Artefact Peddler; Merida, Mexico.

Lead Agent – Auror Ronald Weasley
Supporting Agents – Auror Victor Burns, Auror Jordan Braithwaite, Auror Karen Meyers, Auror Bartholomew Plincher
Supporting Free Agents – Mr. Harry Potter, Mr. Draco Malfoy, Mr. Remus Lupin

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After the Agents had become separated, Plincher and Weasley searched a lower layer of the Labyrinth (other Agent reports attached: see Appendices F, G, H, I). They discovered some storage facilities containing many items of a Dark or cursed nature (see Appendix J for categorised list). Three other men working for Kogelmann were confronted and subdued.

As Plincher and Weasley continued to search for an exit, they heard a large explosion. The Agents followed in the most direct route they could find through the passageways (see Appendix A for facility map).

There they found Potter, Lupin and Malfoy with Kogelmann in custody. A large explosion caused by the duel between Potter and Kogelmann set off a chain reaction, destroying all of the merchandise in the room.

Within Kogelmann's possession was the key to the exit, where Agents Burns, Braithwaite and Meyers were found in a containment cell unharmed.

This concludes Agent Weasley's account of the incident at Calle 63 No. 550, Merida, Mexico, aka The Labyrinth.

They had been trapped in Kogelmann's stronghold for almost twenty-four hours. The team returned late that evening, shocked and tired from a seemingly endless night. Their first priority was to lock Kogelmann away in a small holding cell—keyed only to Ron's wand—and then all of them visited a local medical facility to mend their minor injuries and get a thorough curse detection diagnostics performed. They discovered that Underhill and Abbot had contacted the British Headquarters after a drove of Aurors descended upon them, asking questions and demanding answers.

The agents Kingsley had sent contained the last of the underground wizard compound. Kogelmann was carted away, silent yet glaring daggers at Ron and the others. Harry, Draco and Remus made their excuses after answering the agents' questions and returned to London together.

If anyone compared the reports of the three men, as quite a number of people were charged to do, they would see that each and every fact checked out.

However, as the men gathered after their return to London, none of them could remember everything that happened and some of them kept certain secrets to themselves.

They'd arrived at the Apparition point Draco had set up in Rain. There were three 'cracks' but four individuals appeared. Both Draco and Harry were shocked to see the figure of Sirius appear noiselessly behind Remus.

"Sirius!" Harry cried out. The shadow shimmered a bit, and Draco was certain the damned thing—man—was amused. "You're not dead?"

"Technically," Remus said, facing Draco and Harry, "he isn't dead, but he isn't alive. Or at least, that's what he says." Remus jabbed his thumb over his shoulder indicating Sirius standing behind him. "Plus, he said he has a hold on the staff right now."

Confusion painted itself across Harry's face. "What are you talking about? How would you know?"

"Well, we can speak, kind of. He sends me information," Remus said as his cheeks pinked.

"Well," Draco drawled, "does he know how to destroy it?" He figured that would be too simple, but certainly worth a shot.

Remus looked over his shoulder at Sirius and after a few moments he returned his attention to the other two men. "No. But he says something will come up." Remus grinned in boyish delight. "I can only imagine what he's got up his sleeves."

The change in Remus caught Draco off guard. Just a few hours ago he was writhing on the floor, half man, half wolf, entirely lost to his fear. Now he grinned and seemed to have gained some ease that Draco'd never seen in him before.

"Let's move to my office where things are a little less… open," Draco suggested and the group walked through the abandoned halls of Rain in the young hours of the morning. Once they arrived, each took a seat, except for Sirius, who seemed generally content to stand and look about.

"Guys listen," Harry said, suddenly serious, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "I got some stuff out of Kogelmann's head when I… dug around in there." Draco noticed that Harry's eyes never met any of theirs, in fact he stared at the blinds and the desk and examined the dirt under his own fingernails with rapt attention.

"Harry…" Remus began, reaching out to him, but Harry cut him off.

"Riley was there working with Kogelmann. Protecting him as he searched for something. Underhill was passing intel off to Riley and Kogelmann. Guess what he was supposed to be searching for. You get three guesses, first two don't count."

"Ted Riley? So, we were right," said Remus, baring his teeth in a sneer.

"Yup, but you didn't guess," said Harry with a grunt.

"The wooden shaft of the Quetzalcoatl Staff." Draco enjoyed pointing out the obvious when everyone else seemed to want to avoid such truths. But something still bothered him. He picked up a pen from his collection and began juggling it over his fingers. "But he'd found it, or are you saying that he didn't know what was hidden in the cathedral of bones?"

"No, he knew exactly what was in every nook and cranny of that maze." Harry shook his head and then ran his fingers through his hair, stirring up some dust. Something was eating him inside. Draco wanted to wrap his arms around him and take the pain away. "He knew exactly what the shaft was and he knew that Riley couldn't have it. He'd been keeping it there, hidden from Riley."

Silence settled on the men. Draco glanced at Harry and Remus and saw them both pensive. Sirius' shadowy form just stood there quietly, easily forgotten in his silence.

"Well…?" Draco drawled, knowing there was more to come.

"Who do you think Riley was working for?" Harry asked in a tone that suggested they were all brain damaged two-year olds for not coming to a certain conclusion by now.

"Not himself?" Remus asked surprised, his evident hatred of the man giving Riley more credit that he was worth.

"Oh come on, Remus. Someone is putting together the Staff of Quetzalcoatl to drain the magic from every wizard in Britain. Who do we know with a bit more ambition than petty revenge on werewolves or a desire to be Head Auror?"

Draco stared at Remus who stared back at him.

"Scrimgeour." Harry's word was almost a whisper. "Riley is working for Minister Scrimgeour and he has the orb and he wants to put the entire thing together because he thinks he can rule the world with it. I mean, think about all that he's done, or at least we can conclude he's done it. He's already controlling Kingsley so the Aurors are all under his direct control. He's messed with St. Mungo's so they're no longer looking for anyone with odd magical fluctuations. There's something going on at the Ministry. Who knows how far this reaches? Kogelmann didn't want to give Riley the staff because even that crazy fuck recognized an even crazier fuck and understood just how much damage Scrimgeour could do if he wanted to."

Draco stood from his chair and began pacing behind his desk. "So what now?" he asked.

Remus cleared his throat and offered Harry and Draco an apologetic shrug. "Sleep? I gotta get some rest or I'm worthless to you two. I know we all went through shite in that maze and I, for one, need some recuperation. So, Harry, I'm going back to Hermione's and…"

"Hermione! Oh Merlin, I totally forgot about her." Harry cringed in guilt. "Remus, you go back. I'm going to stop in to check on her for a bit and then I'll be home, okay?"

Remus nodded and Disapparated to get some sleep.

"Do you mind if I come?" Draco asked, not quite ready to be rid of Harry Potter just yet.

For the first time since the face-off in the core, Harry smiled. "Draco, I would appreciate that." He looked exhausted and drained and Draco knew he was being eaten by guilt as well. The two men Apparated to St. Mungo's to visit their comatose friend.