Oh my GAWD I am SO sorry this took so long. I felt a little discouraged to finish this chapter. Kind of feeling down. But then I was in a ZADR deviantART chat room and TSI (co-writer of Tying the Grudge Knot for those who haven't read that yet) told me I should continue writing this whichled other people in the chat room to ask about this fic. Then she had to go and link them to it so now I HAVE to keep writing this or TSI and everyone else will be mad and I'll never be able to show my face in the ZADR chat again.
THANKS alot TSI.
It took Zim a while to get out of the apartment with Dib. First there was the fact that Dib would freak out every time he saw Dr. Arkham's dead body lying there in the corner as well as the fact that Dib wouldn't seem to stop bleeding.
Zim found some rubber gloves under the kitchen sink and used them to protect his hands as he whipped the blood from Dib's arms, legs and chest with water before they finally stopped bleeding and said, "Stay here, I'm going to find where this filthy human keeps his medical supplies."
"They're in the top of his closet." Dib said, his voice a little shaky. He'd never felt so exposed ever.
Zim only nodded and walked off to find the supplies, coming back quickly and dabbing a new cloth with disinfectant to further clean the wounds.
"Why do you keep doing this?" Dib asked, not making eye contact when Zim looked at him curiously.
"Doing what?" Zim asked, one eye narrowing.
"Saving me and stuff. You could have just left me at that hospital and you didn't have to track me down here." Dib said. "We weren't exactly the best of friends but suddenly you're coming to my rescue at every turn."
"Humans are disgusting creatures." Zim said as if he hadn't heard what Dib said. "They can't even make peace with their own kind. Attacking each other to fulfill some kind of lust, it's disgusting."
"That's my point." Dib said. "I'm human too."
"You're the least human, human I know." Zim said, pulling some gauze, medical tape, and bandages out of the box. "I feel a connection to you. Like, we aren't that different. We've been through very similar situations and understand each other."
Dib nodded, not fully understanding but convinced now that Zim wouldn't hurt him. At least, not on purpose.
"You can have Earth, Zim." Dib said after a few minutes of quiet.
Zim stopped what he was doing and looked up at Dib with surprise. "Wha-what?"
"You can have the Earth, I don't want it anymore." Dib repeated, tears welling up in his eyes again. "You're right, humans are disgusting creatures. I know I'm one of them but I can't stand to be around them. I can barely stand myself sometimes."
Zim had never felt so much sympathy for a living thing in his entire life. But maybe, he thought, maybe he could help.
Cautiously he finished gauzing the wound he had been working on and wrapped his arms around Dib's shoulders like they did on TV. He felt Dib tense under him and for a moment thought that maybe it was too soon for interaction but then Dib started to tremble and he became scared for the human. He was about to pull away but Dib buried his face into his collar and clutched at his shirt in an attempt to keep him there and he gently started to rub Dib's back, careful to avoid the cuts there.
He managed to dress Dib's wounds and Dib in less than an hour and they made it out of the building by way of elevator without drawing too much attention to themselves.
Dib of course clung to Zim the whole way back to the house though he was still a little worried that Zim was going to flip out on him again, as was Zim. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Dib though at this point he should say the damage had already been done. Surely the memory of what happened to the human because of his delusions would keep his will strong enough to not fall into them again.
And that was the case, for the most part. He would drift in and out of memories occasionally, and sometimes when Dib would try to get his attention he would jump nearly out of his skin and shout at the human for sneaking up on him, but other than that he seemed to have stabilized by just the thought of Dib running away from him again and getting hurt.
It was then that he found himself becoming extremely attached to the human.
He couldn't really call it love at that point because according to the TV love was a feeling that made you want to suck each other's faces off and do… odd, matey things with each other, neither of which Zim felt like doing to the Dib at all.
But then hadn't the human, that doctor, Dib had told him, done the matey things with Dib, did that mean that that human was in love with Dib? He doubted it, because love looked like a nice feeling and the doctor hadn't been nice at all, and whatever it was he did to Dib CHANGED him.
He no longer lounged on the couch with him anymore, instead he sat in one corner of the couch with his knees drawn up to his chest and his entire body tense.
He also didn't watch TV anymore, instead he watched the floor and occasionally looked up whenever Gir did something loud enough to gain the human's attention.
Finally Zim had to ask, kneeling down in front of the human he asked, "You seem ill, are you sick?"
Dib shook his head. It had been a week and a half since he was kept against his will and raped and though he couldn't get the traumatizing experience to stop playing in his head that wasn't what he was thinking about so deeply that he was lost to the world.
It was Zim.
How very different he was since five years ago, from the once hostile alien who had almost taken over the Earth countless times.
But he was SO different now, like, someone took Zim's body, stretched it like taffy, and put someone else's pak on when they were done.
As pleasing as it was to have someone to talk to, who understood him, he wanted the old Zim back. He wanted the short, loud, self-centered alien back. Not this tall, quiet, and understanding Zim who looked at him with such sweet sympathy it nearly rotted his teeth out and made him pity himself all at the same time.
"What happened to you?" Dib asked, earning a curious look from the alien.
"What do you mean?" Zim asked.
"I mean, you aren't the same." Dib said, resting his chin on his knees. "Five years ago you were Zim. Now it's like you're someone else."
"Do you not like me, because I do not seem like myself?" Zim asked, moving to sit on the couch next to Dib.
"No, I like this new you Zim, it just bothers me, that's all."
"How so?"
"It's like," Dib tried to think of a poetic way to say this, but he couldn't, so he settled with examples. "Five years ago it was more like a game. Like, tag. And I knew you were an Invader, you've killed before, right? I had always figured you had, but you used to be so emotionally unstable, like a kid, that the idea was simply a passing thought. But then I saw you kill that doctor… you were so calm and collected about it, like it wasn't you. No, the Zim from five years ago would never have done anything with the detached look you had."
"… I changed." Zim said simply. "But you have too. You seem scared, all the time. It worries me the way you seem to corner yourself, like you'll panic if you can't see the whole room in front of you."
"Was it the drugs?" Zim asked. "Or did something happen before then?"
"I asked you first." Dib said, turning his head finally to look at Zim fully now, giving him a smile that said he was only half teasing.
"I was… hurt, Dib." Zim said, not willing to say the word 'torture'.
"I know, but you just don't seem like the kind of person that would crack in those circumstances. In fact I would think it'd make you stronger." Dib said, wanting to pry more out of the alien. He had to know what happened, and he had to know so bad it was eating at him from the inside out.
"I'm not, I mean, it-it was pretty bad Dib." Zim said, focusing his gaze on to his hands so he didn't have to look at Dib.
Now he KNEW something else had happened. Hesitantly Dib place a hand on Zim's shoulder, giving it a squeeze and hoping it was comforting like it was meant to be.
It wasn't, but Zim knew Dib wouldn't stop trying to get it out of him so finally he said, "It was the Tallest… they… said something to me."
"What did they say?" Dib pressed.
"They, they told me it was all a lie…." Zim trailed off to take a moment to collect himself and continued, "My mission, my rank, everything from the past six or so years has been a lie. And then… they banished me, forbid me to leave Earth on pain of death."
"So what are you going to do once you conquer Earth?" Dib asked, wondering if he can't leave the planet then what real use would be in conquering it.
"I dunno, rule it maybe." Zim said, shrugging. "Never really put much thought into that part of it."
Dib nodded and relaxed a little bit.
"Now what about you?" Zim asked. "Why did you change."
Dib began to explain about his nightmare world, how the drugs trapped him there with no hope of escape. How much pain he went through because of the damned drug.
"And that doctor was the one to create it?" Zim asked, tilting his head to the side.
Dib simply nodded, unable to say anything else.
"Should have cut off a hand." Zim muttered, his eyes fixed on the floor and his face appearing to be angry.
"It was weird." Dib said, a far off look crossing his face. "To be in pain but not really feel anything. Kind of like trying to stay perfectly still when your cheek itches." He sighed and leaned back, relaxing at being able to talk about it and know he wouldn't have to go back there. "It's nice to sleep without nightmares."
I kind of hate where I left this. But we're all just going to have to deal with it for the sake of getting a knew chapter up right?
Remember, five reviews.