Both Gardiners were well-read and thus were intelligent and clever. They loved to entertain and be entertained. There was always great conversation at their table, concerts to better their appreciation of music and it goes without saying that visits to the various museums offered in London topped their list of places to aid in broadening the mind. And last but certainly not the least was the regular attendance at the theatre.
Elizabeth wanted the memory of this week to last her for months and had planned accordingly. She had saved every penny she could from her allowance and added to her father's birthday gift, she felt almost rich. Her best muslins had been freshly dyed and she had added some ribbons to make them seem almost new. While in London she had spent a wonderful week going from shop to shop spending her birthday money with great care choosing only the finest materials of a plain design which she could add to with fine lace and ribbons. With Mrs. Gardiner's guidance she had done very well for herself and felt confidant that she would not embarrass herself if she were so honored as to be invited to dine at Rosing's Park as the guest of the dragon queen.
Hardly a night went by without some form of amusement mostly dining with friends of the Gardiners with a concert and an evening at the musical theatre thrown in for good measure. But the icing on the cake would be an evening at the theatre and a Shakespeare comedy. It would last her through the six weeks she had promised to spend with her sister, Mary, and the long dull weeks that would follow once she returned to Hertfordshire.
Her visit had the added benefit of giving her a chance to vent her displeasure at the behavior of her family. "They will destroy us, Aunt. Lydia is running wild and my mother is encouraging her. Mama is so determined to marry us off that's she's lost her reason. I hear nothing but of the red coats and how handsome they are in their uniforms. And mama goes on and on how her heart was broken when the red coats left her town when she was a young girl."
"And what does your father say, Lizzie?"
"He treats it all like a joke. Oh, Aunt, I don't know him anymore. He never paid much attention to us before Mary's marriage, but now that she's settled he spends even more time locked in his library with his books. He lets me in occasionally to get a book but he discourages any talk about the situation. In truth, I think he feels guilty for not taking better care of us."
"I'm sure you're right, Lizzie. I never knew your mother before Lydia was born. According to my Henry, her personality began to change rapidly when she realized that she would never bear a son. I can't approve of the way she carries on, but I can sympathize with her somewhat. As a mother she is responsible for the well-being of her children and marriage is the only way to ensure that in our society."
"I do understand that, Aunt, and I'm not totally unsympathetic. One evening when Papa had too much port he spoke of the early years of his marriage when they were both convinced they would have a son and thus ensure the future of their family. Papa spoke so wistfully of how he allowed his wife to spend so freely for she loved pretty clothes and he loved seeing her wearing pretty clothes and being so young and vivacious. Once Lydia was born, all hope faded and Mama's nerves began to grind away at his nerves. By then, it was too late to begin economizing and he was too tired to try. He chose to retreat to his study."
"It might have been worse, Lizzie. At least he stays at home and is faithful. Some men have chosen a different way of showing their dissatisfaction with life."
Elizabeth nodded, "Yes, there's that. But living at home has now become so intolerable. He's sad and miserable. Mama is nervous and miserable. I'm depressed and miserable. And Lydia and Kitty are increasingly out of control and deliriously happy. Our family is collapsing and I can't see any way out. I feel trapped and grow angrier every day."
"And how fares Jane?"
Elizabeth shrugged. "you know Jane. Nothing fazes her. She just goes on her bland way, putting the best face on everything. I wish sometimes that she would lose her temper and start screaming. It might just shake things up."
Mrs. Gardiner smiled. "It would indeed. As much as I love Jane, I sometimes think she acts too passively. It's difficult to know what she's thinking. If she ever falls in love, I hope she'll show her feelings more openly. Few men can remain in love without encouragement."
Elizabeth laughed, "that's the least of our problems. If an eligible bachelor came to Meryton, he'd need an armed guard to fend off mama and all the other mamas in town. I pity the poor man who ventures into Hertfordshire. He'll never know what hit him. Besides, I can't imagine Jane inviting any eligible man to meet her family. I know I can't. I wouldn't be able to face the humiliation."
"Oh Lizzie. I hate to see you so bitter."
"So do I," Elizabeth replied.
"I do hope you won't allow these feelings to interfere with your enjoyment tonight. It would be a great disappointment to your Uncle and me."
Elizabeth smiled and reached out to embrace her Aunt. "I plan to enjoy myself thoroughly tonight. I plan to live on the memory while I suffer through my visit with Mary and her odious husband."
Mattie Gardiner felt helpless in the face of her favorite niece's distress. She comforted her as best as she could do. She had four of her own children to care for. Each year she took in Jane and Elizabeth for a month each and sometimes more. She introduced them to every bachelor she and her husband knew but it was all for naught. She so much wanted them to live full lives with men they loved and respected. She herself had enjoyed a warm and loving relationship with her husband. It saddened her to think that Jane and Elizabeth would be denied such fulfillment.
There is something magical that takes place at a theatre. When you walk in you enter an other-worldly plane where nothing is real. Two hundred people from all walks of life sit down together and fully expect to suspend belief for the better part of two hours. They will laugh and cry as a story written solely for their amusement slowly unfolds on a raised stage. Elizabeth never tired of the experience.
She had dressed carefully for her evening, wearing her lilac silk, and studding her hair with seed pearls. She knew she had never looked lovelier and she felt like a queen as she entered the box high above the stage and audience. It was the first time she had seen a play from that vantage and she would be eternally grateful to her Aunt and Uncle for this special treat. This night was a culmination of a wonderful week spent with her favorite people.
As the candles were slowly snuffed out a couple entered the box beside them. The box was set further forward so she had a clear view of the newcomers without having to turn and stare. The women was young, younger than Elizabeth. She seemed no older than 16 or 17 at the most. She was blond and slight and quite lovely. But it was her escort which caught Elizabeth's attention. He was the handsomest man she had ever laid eyes on. His height alone made him extraordinary for he was well over six feet tall, inches taller than the average man. But it was not just his height that was so arresting. It was the power he exuded. He was slender but with a sinewy strength that made him an awesome specimen. When he removed his hat his shock of dark curly hair was revealed and to her surprise she felt her heart quicken. For the first time in her life she wondered what it would be like to be in the power of such a man. Her mind boggled at the thought and she finally tore her eyes from him suppressing a smile. She dared a glance at her Aunt and found that lady eying her with amusement. "The view from here is quite lovely, don't you agree, Lizzie?"
"I make it a point never to disagree with my favorite Aunt," she replied with a wide grin.
Elizabeth prided herself in her ability to lose herself in the story presented on the stage. Nothing distracted her. But on that particular night her eyes constantly moved towards the young man in the box. She no longer focused on his looks but rather on his demeanor. Not once had he shown any interest in his surroundings. Not once had he looked down upon the audience. All his attention seemed to be focused on the stage and the comfort of his companion. It was a singular behavior. It had been her observation that most handsome men tended to preen like peacocks when they had a large audience. But not this one. The minute the couple had entered the box Elizabeth had heard the whispers and glancing down had seen many interested eyes focused on them. He could not be unaware of the interest being shown them, yet he ignored it all.
Occasionally he leaned far back in his chair and stared off in space showing no interest in the performance on the stage. Elizabeth found herself distracted by him wondering what could take his eyes off the stage. Was he bored? Sad? In love? Silently she chastised herself for ruining her pleasure in the play. She also knew that he had to be extremely rich and an integral part of high society. There was no chance of ever being introduced to him. He lived in a world quite above the life of the Gardiners. She sincerely doubted if he would even take notice of them. Being a determined young lady she was finally able to dismiss him and focus on the play. When the curtain fell she once more looked over to see him showing his companion through the curtains to the outer lobby. She would never see him again. She could not regret that truth. After all, she thought, smiling to herself, how could she possibly introduce him to her parents?
The ride down to Kent was quiet and restrained. Georgianna suspected that her brother and cousin were both suffering from an excess of brandy from the night before. Richard didn't even bother trying to disguise his condition. The moment he entered the coach he made himself comfortable and immediately nodded off. Darcy, being Darcy, attempted to be his usual self...in complete control of his faculties. Georgianna wanted desperately to tell her brother to go to sleep and let her be. She wanted nothing but silence in order to mentally prepare herself for the ordeal which faced her. When Darcy asked for the third time whether she was comfortable, she lost her patience.
"Brother, if you're trying to make me a nervous wreck, you're succeeding!"
"Sorry."
"And please stop apologizing. I'm fine...or I will be if you either take a nap or open that book of yours."
"I can't get into it."
"Have you tried?"
Darcy shrugged. He felt edgy and restive. He looked at this trip as a complete waste of his life but Aunt Catherine was family and it was his duty to visit her, look over her books and otherwise, put up with her authoritarian proclamations and not roll his eyes at the absurdity of the woman. She would of course not lose any time before she began to urge him into marriage with his cousin Anne and he knew it was time to dissuade her of any expectations. He'd let it slide for too many years, never declaring outright that he would under no circumstances connect himself to Anne. He had played the coward for too long and it had begun to prey on his mind. It was unfair to Anne. While Lady Catherine held out any hopes that her desire to connect Rosing's Park with Pemberley, Anne had no hope of meeting a man who might allow her to escape the stranglehold her mother had on her. He dreaded the confrontation.
With fondness he remembered the past three weeks of fun spending so much time in the company of his old friends from Cambridge. With the exception of a night with Shakespeare and Georgianna they had spent almost every night on the town visiting the musical theatres and clubs, waxing nostalgic over the best time of their life and it had come to an end all too quickly. Or maybe not. Two of his friends were old married men. One of them had already sired a son who according to him was the brightest one-year old in the country. It was all too depressing. Once his sojourn at Rosing's park was over he'd be heading back to Pemberley and the thought of returning to his ancestral home gave him no pleasure. His beautiful home had become the loneliness place in the world.
Georgianna had been watching her brother curiously and when he sighed so heavily she grew concerned. During the last six months they'd spent at Pemberley, he had worked feverishly, sometimes from sun-up to sun-down. Riding across every square mile of Pemberley, checking out every building and house on the grounds, he'd ordered dozens of repairs and made sure that each order was completed according to his precise instruction. After their evening meal he'd sit in the music room listening to Georgianna playing with such a far-away look on his face she couldn't be sure he was even aware of her.
She had looked forward to their night at the theatre and though she knew it was one of his favorite amusements, he had once again exhibited that strange restlessness. He had actually left his seat during the third act to stand at the back of the box hidden in the shadows. He wasn't even looking at the stage but seemed to be staring off towards his right. Exasperated she mentally shrugged and said nothing nor had she even mentioned the incident though she was sorely tempted.
Her unease with her brother's feverish activities had grown to the point where she had consulted with their housekeeper about his odd behavior. She was certain that her brother was ill for she could in no way account for his conduct. Mrs. Reynolds had assuaged her fears with a laugh. According to their respected housekeeper, what the master of Pemberley needed was a wife. How having a wife would calm her brother was beyond Georgianna's knowledge but it was enough to put her on guard whenever he got restless.
Timidly and with the kindest of intentions she called her brother's attention back to her. "Wills, perhaps you should consider marrying Anne."
It took a moment for his sister's words to penetrate Darcy's introspection and when they did his head snapped up and he stared at his darling sister with a look of absolute horror. "What?" he snapped.
Georgianna was saved a response by a roar of laughter from Richard who had chosen that moment to wake up.
Darcy turned and glared at his cousin. "Go back to sleep, Richard."
"And miss this?" Not on your life."
Darcy ignored him and turned his eyes back to his sister. "What on earth made you say such a thing, Georgi?"
Georgianna was now in a state of terror. "I was just trying to help."
Darcy's face softened and he even managed a smile. "I know, dearest. But nevertheless, what made you think I'd consider marrying Anne?"
"Well, the only women you know are Anne and Miss Bingley. And I didn't think you'd want to marry Miss Bingley."
Richard exploded and collapsed against Darcy who had slumped back in his seat at a loss for words except to snarl at Richard to get back on his own side of the coach. He ran his hands through his hair, a sure sign that he was upset, "Miss Bingley? " he croaked in confusion.
"Well, Mrs. Reynolds said..."
Richard fell back against Darcy once more laughing hard. "This is priceless! What did Mrs. Reynolds have to say?"
"Richard," Darcy warned, "if you don't shut up I'll do something desperate."
"Like what," Richard managed between guffaws, "marry Miss Bingley? Or perhaps, Mrs. Reynolds is more your speed."
Georgianna was on the verge of tears when Darcy reached over and took her hand. "Don't cry, sweetheart. I plan to drop your cousin off at the first insane asylum we come to. After that, we'll have a nice lunch together. How does that sound?"
She glanced at Richard who responded with a broad grin. "What am I going to do with you two?" she said. "I never know whether I should laugh or cry with your antics."
"A laugh is good for the constitution," Darcy replied. "But I would prefer it not be at my expense. And Georgi, I know many women."
"Then why haven't you married?"
"I can answer that," Richard piped up. "No lady can meet his standards."
"Oh, do be quiet, Richard. Georgi, it isn't that simple. Marriage is for a lifetime. Surely you can understand why I can't be too hasty. I know a lot of women who would meet the demands of our family. Title and money is their criteria. I want something more. Do you understand, dearest?"
"He wants to be so in love," Richard laughed, "that he makes a complete fool of himself."
Unbidden, Darcy's mind flashed back to the night at the theatre when the sound of laughter drew his attention and curiosity made him stand up and move to the back of the box. The sight that met his eyes instantly bewitched him. He'd never seen her before but there was something about her that made his heart quicken. She was adorable in her simple lilac gown and her smile at the silliness of the play was so genuine that he found himself smiling in the darkness. Her companions though dressed fashionably were obviously not of the ton, so of course he could not connive an introduction which was a pity for he knew he would have liked to meet her.
Darcy sighed yet again and opened his book. "Enough foolish talk. Both of you leave me in peace."
After an excellent lunch they continued their journey to Kent. Georgianna regarded them with affection as both men settled down quickly and took the opportunity of nodding off. They were so different in nature and temperament and so very dear to her. It was more for their sakes than hers that she had accepted their invitation to join them in this journey. She knew they were concerned about her future. In less than two years she would officially enter London society and her innate shyness would be frowned upon. She was, after all, a Darcy, and there were certain expectations connected to the name, mainly that she be a leader. Anything less would be considered a failure on the part of the family.
She had no close friends. The girls she knew were either too young, too old or in most cases lived too far away. Pemberley was ten miles square. The manor houses of other estates were a half a day away, offering few chances to make friends. She filled her days with her studies and her music but it wasn't enough. Not even her beloved brother was enough. She missed the companionship of women. All she had was her companion Mrs. Annesley and Mrs. Reynolds the housekeeper. Both ladies were in their 60's and were closer to each other than she could possibly be. And soon she was going to lose Mrs. Annesley who had decided to retire and join her son's family in Ireland. To start the whole process of finding a suitable companion was daunting and she wasn't looking forward to it. Mrs. Annesley had been with her for the past five years and she would be sorely missed.
She would soon be spending more time in their London townhouse and it was imperative that she learn to relax in the company of strangers. Richard called it the Darcy curse. Both brother and sister had a hard time with people they didn't know well so they didn't know too many people outside their immediate family. It was a vicious circle and she was determined to break it. Thus, a visit to Lady Catherine De Bourgh. She hoped spending several weeks in the company of that terrifying lady would give her some backbone. If she survived unscathed, the next test would be Caroline Bingley. Oh how she would love to tell Caroline Bingley to take a long walk off a short pier. Her obsequious babbling at times drove Georgianna mad. She hardly dared ask herself how her brother endured her attentions. He surely had the patience of a saint.
She so wanted him to find happiness and she wanted so much to find a friend.