Lady Catherine was a strong, tall women with strongly-marked features which had never been handsome. "Where have you been?" she demanded. I've been expecting you for hours."
Wishing to lighten the atmosphere for his sister's sake, Darcy smiled with good grace and attempted a joke, "sorry, Aunt Catherine. Richard lost our flying carpet so we had to travel by coach."
His attempt at levity fell flat. Lady Catherine was not amused. "That is no excuse for tardiness."
"So I have been told. How are you, Aunt Catherine? You're looking well."
"You have not greeted your cousin. Where are your manners?"
Darcy took Anne's hand and kissed it gently. "How are you, Anne?"
Anne managed a smile before Lady Catherine answered for her daughter, "she is very well as you can see. And you, Georgianna, I was very disappointed when you didn't visit me last Easter."
Georgianna squared her shoulders and replied, "I had a severe head cold at the time, as I wrote you, Aunt Catherine."
"Catching a cold is sheer carelessness, Georgianna."
As Georgi groped for a reply to this silly observation, Richard stepped forward and took his Aunt's hand, "my feelings are hurt, Aunt. You have yet to greet me."
"How did you lose Darcy's carpet? It sounds like more carelessness to me."
While Lady Catherine grilled Richard and Georgi, Anne tugged at Darcy's hand forcing him to sit beside her. "I give you fair warning, Darce," she whispered, "she's already planning to name our first born Louis after my papa." Anne grinned at the alarm on Darcy's face. "What's the matter, cousin, don't you like the name? It could have been Lancelot or worse still, it could have been Colin."
Darcy eyed his cousin, "I swear, Anne, you're beginning to sound more like Richard."
"And how is the love of my life doing?"
"Still sowing his oats."
Anne's eyes softened as she glanced at Richard, "naughty boy. I think it's time for me to make a move on him. Now that I've regained my health, Hunsford begins to pall. I'm planning to return to London with you and spend some of my inheritance."
"Do you think you're up to it?"
"I grow stronger every day, Darce. What ever ailed me for so many years has by the grace of God abated. I no longer awake feeling exhausted and listless. I can now look in the mirror and not shudder."
"I must say you look more like your old self. But will your mother let you go?"
Anne shrugged. "She has no choice. I'm of age and have my own money. I've had enough of her foolishness. I do love her, Darcy, as hard as that is to believe, but enough is enough! Wait until you see her latest purchase."
"What has she bought?
"Oh, no. I won't spoil the surprise. You'll see it on the morrow, shortly after breakfast."
Lady Catherine had been stealing glances at Darcy and Anne while they whispered together and was well satisfied with how the visit had begun. She was sure that all her plans would now see fruition. She called their attention back to herself, and subjected her guests to her usual inanities and pronouncements.
By the time they reached their rooms each had a different reaction. Georgianna thought it had not gone too badly for she wasn't bleeding and had shed not one tear. Richard wondered if his Aunt's stupidity was catching, and Darcy wondered what the girl in the lilac gown was doing.
During dinner Lady Catherine announced that the following evening they would be joined by her clergyman, his wife and his wife's sister. "I have not yet met the sister but I suspect she is not very bright."
Richard choked on his wine. "If you think she is not bright, she must be a dullard to be sure, Aunt Catherine."
Darcy glared at his cousin and Georgi suppressed an unladylike giggle. She glanced at her cousin Anne who quickly put her napkin to her mouth.
Lady Catherine continued. "She comes from a small estate that is entailed to Mr. Collins who out of the goodness of his heart, offered for her and she had the audacity to refuse him. Imagine such a thing! She had the chance to save her family and she turned him down without a by-your-leave. Unbelievable! Her mother insisted she accept his proposal but her father said that she was old enough to make her own decision. What kind of family is this? Such thoughtlessness towards her family is insupportable. Allegiance to the family is everything."
Darcy recognized this last remark as the opening salvo of the assault. She would play on his ingrained devotion to his family and try to force him into a marriage with Anne. "Did she give a reason for refusing him?" he asked.
Lady Catherine looked appalled at the question. "There could be no reason that any right-thinking woman could offer. They are a family of five daughters and when the father meets his maker, they will be left to fend for themselves without a home or protector and with little money. It was her duty to save their family. Mr. Collins tried talking some sense into her pointing out her various deficiencies as to dowry and lack of title and the fact that she might not ever receive another proposal and would most likely end up an old maid but she would not be moved. She actually told him in no uncertain words that he was the last man on earth that she would ever be prevailed upon to marry.
Darcy could hardly credit this information. That a man would say such things to a woman he hoped to marry was startling. He could well believe that a woman might take umbrage at such callousness "Well, since we don't know all the particulars, perhaps we should not condemn the young lady out of hand. There obviously was no affection between them."
Lady Catherine's color rose. "Darcy I've never known you to speak such utter tripe! What has affection to do with marriage?
Darcy knew that if he answered honestly he'd be condemned as a romantic fool so he ignored the question and asked one of his own. "How did you come by this information?"
"From Mr. Collins, of course. He tells me everything that goes on in his life and the parish."
Darcy stared at his aunt. "Just to be clear, Aunt Catherine, Mr. Collins is the village Parson and he tells you about all the goings on in this parish?"
Lady Catherine nodded proudly. "He visits at least once a day every day so I can improve his sermons. When I hired him it was with the express instruction that I was to know everything about the people who live in Hunsford. I am excessively attentive to all those things."
Richard opined that Mr. Collins must be a very popular man with the citizens of Hunsford knowing that all their secrets were discussed each morning at Rosing's Park.
Darcy had a mental picture of what life would be like for the man who married Anne and obtained the mother-in-law from hell. He was hard pressed to contain a shudder. He glanced at Richard unable to suppress a smile. Poor Richard. If Anne had her way the poor man would never know what hit him. She'd have him bound in a silken cord with one large fire-breathing dragon following in their wake.
"What on earth are you grinning at?" Richard asked.
"Your future, old man."
"And that amuses you?"
Darcy dared a glance at Anne who was shaking with mirth. "Yes", he managed before laughing out loud.
After dinner Georgianna played for her Aunt but refused to sing. When Lady Catherine insisted, Darcy started to intervene but Georgianna held up her hand. "My voice is feeling a little raspy, Aunt. I would not wish to get ill and have to return to London so soon. Especially as I know my brother and cousin would insist on accompanying me."
The room grew quiet and Georgi glanced nervously at Anne who nodded before putting her handkerchief to her mouth and coughed gently.
This excuse had the effect that Anne had promised in one of her letters. Lady Catherine insisted that Georgi retire early and get a good rest. She exchanged a look with Anne who dared to smirk. It had been Anne's suggestion to threaten an early departure. She knew her mother planned a concerted effort to get Darcy engaged to her during the visit and would do anything to delay the cousin's departure until she had succeeded.
In the library a short time later Darcy and Richard settled down with their brandy. "Mr. Collins," ventured Richard, "sounds like a moron."
"Hired by Aunt Catherine, would you expect anything less? That he would discuss his personal life with such intimate detail is unfathomable. And that he repeats what he hears as a clergyman is unconscionable"
Richard shrugged. "Stupidity no longer surprises me. What did surprise me was our little girl and how she handled the old crone."
Darcy grinned. "The look on our Aunt's face was priceless."
"The look on your face was almost as amusing, Darce. You're so used to protecting Georgi that when she showed she could handle herself you looked almost disappointed."
Darcy laughed, "I must confess that she startled me. But in a good way, once I got over the shock. Being an officer in His Majesty's forces I'm sure it didn't escape your eagle eye that Anne and Georgi exchanged several secretive glances during the course of the evening. You know they correspond, and I think it's possible that Anne prepped Georgi for this visit. I swear Richard, that women can be fascinating creatures."
"If you feel that way you should get one for yourself. You'd be surprised at the amount of fun you can have with them."
"You're leering, Richard, and it is not to be endured!"
"Forgive me, Aunt Catherine," Richard laughed. "I won't do it again."
"That will be the day. But seriously, Richard, did you notice how well Anne looked tonight? She's recaptured the beauty that so enraptured us as children. She'll make some man a wonderful wife."
"Don't tell me you're thinking of making Aunt Catherine the happiest of women?" Richard asked with concern.
"No, no. Anne and I are more brother and sister than prospective lovers. But I must admit that the man who captures her will be a lucky man. Beauty, brains and a well-developed sense of humor."
"Don't forget her wealth, Darce. If she comes to London we'll have to look after her to protect her against all the greedy gentlemen who will surface."
"Well, I have my hands full with Georgi, so I'll leave Anne to you."
Richard frowned. "Cousin, you're grinning again. Do you know something I don't know?"
Darcy laughed, "I'm sure I do."
Shortly after breakfast the following morning the three cousins were treated to something they later agreed was more entertaining than a musical comedy.
A short, rotund creature dressed in black bowed and scraped his way to Lady Catherine's throne. Presented with so many esteemed guests he wasn't sure just who he should pay obeisance to first so he compromised and attempted to bow to everyone in the room at once. The result was a mixed bag at best. He came off looking more like a giant crab as he sidled around the room, his large black coat flapping and twisting about his pipe-stem legs.
Richard grinned broadly and Georgi glanced with disbelief at Anne who tried with little success to suppress a smile while Darcy frowned, as was to be expected. So this was the purchase Anne had alluded to the night before. Good grief!
As introductions were made to the honored and esteemed visitors of his honored patroness not to mention her honored and esteemed daughter nothing could contain his admiration and humility for such an honor. By the time he was finished Darcy was at the window attempting to wither the scenery with one of his dark looks. The man was either a buffoon or a con-man. He didn't look forward to meeting the man's wife for he was sure she had to be as stupid as her husband. Her sister, however, obviously had some common sense. This was going to be the longest six weeks of his life. He began to think of ways he could curtail his visit.
At the Hunsford Parsonage Elizabeth had settled in comfortably. To her surprise and relief, Mary appeared as she had ever had; not happy but not unhappy. Her house was of a goodly size and she had a cook and two servants. Her husband was still as repulsive as he had been in Hertfordshire but Mary didn't seem to notice. It was said that love was blind. Could Mary be in love? The thought of those two coupling made her shudder. Unbidden, the memory of the man at the theatre invaded her thoughts, much to her chagrin. She wondered if his touch would make her shudder? Somehow, she thought not. She really had to do something about the way her mind of late had tended to slip sideways when she least expected it. She had begun to think of that man as her phantom lover and wanted him out of her head, out of her waking hours and most assuredly, out of her dreams.
The afternoon was spent listening to Mr. Collins singing the praises of Lady Catherine De Bourgh's condescension, affability, generosity and wisdom. Added to his near delirium was the information that Lady Catherine was now entertaining her two distinguished nephews and a niece. That he was able to introduce Elizabeth to this family made his triumph complete. His cousin would live with the remorse of refusing him for the rest of her life.
Elizabeth continued to think of his patroness as an esteemed windbag though she had not as yet laid eyes on that venerable lady. She got little information from Mary beyond the fact that they dined regularly at Rosing's Park and were often called upon to make up a table for cards. Life would have been unendurable to Elizabeth to be invited after dinner to make up a table of cards. It would have crushed her pride and that's all she had left.
It had been drizzling lightly for most of the day so she had no chance of a long walk so spent it resting and recovering from the long journey. Mary offered little conversation beyond menial talk about her household duties and Mr. Collins could talk of nothing but Lady Catherine. Elizabeth was already bored and began to think of ways to curtail her visit. It wasn't until teatime that Elizabeth had a chance to speak with her sister. Mr. Collins liked to take his tea in the privacy of his small study much to Elizabeth's relief.
"Now tell me, Mary, how are you?"
Mary smiled, "if you're asking me if I miss Longbourn, the answer is no. Mr. Collins is neither sensible nor agreeable. His society is irksome and his attachment to me is purely imaginary but he has given me a comfortable home and ample food on the table. I've never had much respect for men or matrimony but I'm a plain woman with no dowry. I've done very well for myself, Lizzie."
"Then I'm very glad for you, Mary," Elizabeth responded sincerely.
"Living here has the added benefit of not having to listen to mama prattling about her nerves and the latest fashions and the less said about Lydia and Kitty, the better. I will confess to missing you and Jane but my days are full and I have little to repine."
As evening grew nigh Elizabeth's sense of fun stirred and she began to look forward to meeting Lady Catherine who would certainly offer up more amusement then the Parsonage could.
Before she returned to her room to dress, Mr. Collins detained her for instruction on how to dress for the evening. "I would advise you, dear cousin, to merely put on whatever of your clothes is superior to the rest. Lady Catherine will not think less of you if you are simply dressed. She likes the distinction of rank preserved.
Elizabeth came close to gnashing her teeth at the little weasel. She hadn't given a thought to how she would dress, supposing she would just throw on a simple muslin but after that little speech she formed another idea before she could close the door behind her.
She donned her lilac gown and slippers and studded her hair with seed pearls hardly able to contain her laughter at what she was doing. She knew that she was inviting trouble but her pride was at stake. She knew there were two eligible bachelors visiting Lady Catherine and she simply could not see herself entering that house looking like a poor relation of the wretched clergyman. After spending just a few hours at the parsonage she understood that if she was asked to leave, she would do so with alacrity. She could see no pleasure in store for her.
With the long cape that her Aunt Gardiner had loaned her she cloaked her self hiding her dress and pulled up the hood to hide her hair. She donned her soft kid gloves, took a final look at herself and was pleased with her appearance. She would show them all that she could hold her head up high despite being just a nobody from a back-water village in Herfordshire.