Chapter 2

The Whole Truth nothing but the truth

Editor's note: this review was really helpful and so I'm going to try and rewrite the chapter with more reaction and more on probation with us kind of deal. I appreciate all the reviews so hopefully! 

Editor's note: I have no part in the creation of this movie or the script etc. Thanks for the review! And thanks for the spell check. And to respond to There will be more!the question no this is not a one shot.

Is this a oneshot? If not, I really hope you continue this. Longer chapters would be nice.

There are a few spelling mistakes.
You have:

"Bilkis", instead of "Bilkins."
and
"Supera", instead of "Supra".

Nothing a good proof-read can't fix!

Anyways, I really did enjoy this. I look forward to more; thanks for posting!

The team's reaction is... well, minimal.

Try more anger, more punches, swearing, etc. If Brian had come out and confessed like that, we would have witnessed violence equivalent to that of world war 3.

Try taking a new line every time someone different is talking. It's kind of hard to understand who's talking when you have two different people talking on the same line.

Spelling is much better, except for one little typing error:
"Mai," instead of "Mia." (Very annoying).

I think Dom would have been alot more hesitant to accepting Brian as an ex-cop and letting him in Race Wars. I think Mia would have also needed time alone, she doesn't seem to be one to forgive and forget too quickly. She would definitely need more than a simple "I'm sorry, Mia."

You need to use rulers, or a change from bold to italic, something to indicate where you're editor's note ends, and the story starts. (You can do this after you upload documents and edit/preview them. Save the changes you make before posting it.)
It really wasn't necessary to place the review there; I'm sure that people could just click on 'reviews' if they really wanted to read it.

Sorry this is so long, and also if I start babbling on, but I hate writing short reviews.
A bit of constructive critism for a fellow writer!
Thanks for updating, please please please please continue!

I made my decision that night before I went to sleep. I was going native on them.

Well, nobody's perfect and racing cars seemed like the perfect career for me. I'd have to

tell Dom and the others the truth. That was the hardest part. Would they believe I was

Formerly good cop gone bad? I mean I had saved Dom from the prison and bought him

back to the fort but was that enough that'd he'd trust me? Probably not.

I walked into the garage feeling ancy. We were getting ready for Race Wars so

Dom could make some money off my ass. Letty was necking Dom when I walked in Leon

and Jess were working on the cars that they had to tune up and Mai sweet Mai was working

on the paperwork. Vince was sitting on the couch they had in the garage a new addition. He

glared at me when I walked in.

Dom smiled at me. "Hey B what's going on?" Dom asked. Mai walked over to me and

Kissed me. "I have to talk to the whole group while I'm here." I said. Dom looked at me

suspiciously. "Tell us what?" Letty demanded. I gulped this was it this was the moment of

truth. They were all going to hate me I could just sense it. Vince was glaring at me. "What

is it Brian?" Mai prompted. "I was an under cover cop when I met you." I said. "What?"

Mai asked stunned and hurt I could tell she let go of my hand. "What do you mean was?"

Dom asked me. No one saw it coming not even me but Vince flew at me and started punching

every inch he could reach. "I couldn't turn you in!" I shouted. Dom kicked me hard twice. Mai

was crying. "I don't know if I can trust you Brian." Dom said. "Please Dom I'll do anything."

"Anything?" Letty asked as Jess and Leon pulled Vince off of me. My nose was bleeding.

"I told you I told you but nobody listened to Vince!" "Your on probation. You have a place

at Harry's still?" Dom asked me. "Probably not." I said wiping my mouth and rubbing blood

on my shirt. "Your under house arrest here. We're watching every move you make. We'll

see what happens then and I want my car back. You'll work in the store with Mai or here

with us." Dom said. "Do you have your badge with you Brian?"

I pulled it out. I remembered the day I got it and the point I was at in my life now

where I didn't want it. In fact I hated it but oddly enough it was what bought me to them.

"Dom you guys are my family now you've got to believe me." "I don't know if I can B. So

for the first part of the test your going run or I am over that badge with a car in the street.

Also you've got the cell phone?" Dom asked. "B I know they issued you a cell phone." I pulled

it out and handed it to him. Dom walked out of the garage the gang followed him. As they

walked passed me they smacked me on the back of my head. Vince laid it on extra hard.

"Mai." I began. "Save it Brian your under probation." Mai walked out smacking me on the

back on the head too.

I laid the badge and the phone on the road. Dom drove out in his car and

ran over the badge and phone four times. The cell phone smashed into bits and flew

everywhere. The team cheered at that. The car only just managed to flatten the badge

just a little bit. Dom threw that in the gutter.

I moved my stuff in that evening. I was given the smallest bedroom possible in the

house but I was grateful. I mean I know I was on probation but hopefully I could gain

everybody's trust back. They didn't talk to me through out dinner and Mai refused my help.

I sighed and went to the back yard. What could help them to trust me? I knew about the

truckers and the extra safety matters they were taking I could help Dom out with that.

But would that be enough?

editor's note: okay which reaction to B's story do we like better? This one or the old one? Thanks for the reviews! I am including him at Race Wars but that'll be in the next chapter. Anyways what do you think?