She doesn't know how it all started…selective memory…she hears her own voice snicker from the deep recesses of her mind, she knows it's true, she chose to forget, chose to erase it from her memory…but only the beginning…she could never forget everything else…only how it started.

One thing she knew from the start, from the first time their lips touched such a long time ago, was that no matter what, she would never be able to forget him…not completely and she really didn't want to…no, she didn't want to forget completely…not the softness of his lips in contrast with the harshness of his stubbled chin, the bittersweet taste of him, the drowning masculine scent, the feel of his tongue tangling up with hers, or his hands roaming her body…those were all things she refused to forget…she would never let them go.

The walks to his place under the pouring rain were always painfully long and cold…a necessary evil…she kept telling herself. She needed to feel the rain fall on her…to pour down heavily on her, wash her…wash her fiancé off of her and everything he represented, all the things she should want…need…she needed to wash away her sins…wash it all off, before she could go to him.

She remembers the feeling that assaults her whenever she gets to his home, soaked to the bones, shivering violently...and clean…all sinned out and ready to be absolved by him…freed by him…ready to give herself completely to him, like she only ever gave herself to one man before him…and look how that turned out for you…she mentally scolds herself.

Her mind drifts off to the last time she went to him. Everything that should never have happened between them did. And now she can't get over it…can't get over the memory of him telling her she didn't have to leave if she didn't want to…that she was free to stay if she pleased…but she wasn't…were you ever, free…she asks herself. She's not now, she's sure of that.

The ring around her finger around her finger might as well be a noose around her neck, tightening with each day she spends away from him, smothering her…killing her slowly…holding her from him…from freedom.

She sighs, because at that moment it's all too much: the ring and the commitment it stands for, the possessive arm resting heavily across her waist, making it hard to take a deep breath, making her feel like she's drowning in her own bed. The feel of his warm and steady breaths colliding with the sensitive skin of her neck, make her sick to her stomach…and she feels herself become nauseous as he settles a long leg across both of hers, like a chain locked around her with a lead ball at the end, dragging her down into the darkness.

She finally manages to take a deep breath however shakily, instantly regretting it, as her fiancé's scent fills her lungs, making her stomach clench painfully. She knows she needs to get a hold of her feelings and in an attempt to do so, she screws her eyes shut and wills herself to go to sleep, but it's too late…he's awake now and she tenses the second she feels his lips touch the side of her neck, while his left hand moves upwards until it's cupping her t-shirt clad breast…this leaves her tense, cold and sick…she doesn't want this…him.

"Chase" she hears herself call out in a serious and warning tone, making him pull back quickly and look down at her questioningly. For two reasons…one, she used his last name and two, because she's turning away from him, onto her side and muttering: "…I'm not in the mood…" by a way of an excuse…one that he seems to ignore, because he's moving and she feels his body spoon behind hers, while his hands begin moving over her body.

She feels his lips on her ear and struggles not to dry-heave when he speaks in that tender Aussie tone of his; "…I can fix that, Allison…" he mumbles surely, pressing himself against her…and it's too much. And she's sure it's the way he said her name that makes her break, because behind her closed eyelids all she sees are his baby blue eyes, staring intensely into hers as he groaned out her name and finally gave up trying to hold back his release…the fact that he's not the one touching her now, frustrates her to no end and she can't keep pretending to sleep anymore, she needs to move.

Before she can allow herself to bite back the urge to run, she jumps off the bed and starts moving around the dark room, groping blindly for some clothes and throwing them on quickly, all the while feeling his confused eyes following her rushed silhouette as she searches for her shoes; "Allison, what are you doing?" he asks her clueless, his tone soft and pleading…everything she hates about him…everything she used to like about him.

She doesn't answer and so he stands and wraps his hand around her wrist gently, hoping to calm her down and get her attention; "…talk to me…" he pleas her tenderly.

She pulls away from him and moves through the bedroom door, rushing down the hallway, she hears him running after her and ask her where she's going and without looking back she answers him; "…I need some air…" it's all she gives him before she closes the door and runs down the stairs and out of her building, stopping outside and taking a deep breath…like she had just managed to break free and rip the surface, filling her chest with the air she so desperately needed.

She's running pathless through the moonlight bathed streets of Princeton, enjoying the feel of the wind hitting her face and wrapping around her as she moves freely from nowhere to nowhere.

As she runs a song comes to the forefront of her mind…a song she heard a few days ago, as she found herself stuck in traffic. She allowed the song to replay itself in her mind…there was something about it that had called to her…it wasn't until that moment that she realised what it was. She kept running as the song began to unfold itself for her…

Closed up from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

She remembered the last time she allowed herself to need, love anyone else this much…Danny…a voice echoed through her mind, she had loved him…she had needed him. She may have been young, but she knew she was meant to be with him, even if he only had a few months…the time spent with him was worth all the pain she went through when he left her, but she had promised herself never to feel for anyone like that…

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted to the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

She finds herself in front of the fountain at the PPTH campus; she stands there for the longest time watching the water jump and fall back down calling to her, enthralling her, as her thoughts go to him…the man that made her break her promise…the man that made her love again…hurt again…

She closes her eyes and lets her feet lead her into the fountain and sighs as the water begins to fall on her. It's cold against her body, but she stands her ground and finds herself lifting her head to face the full moon that came out to bless her nightly escape, while her arms spread out to her sides and she stands under the fountain…letting the water hit her and take away her sorrow…her pain…

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

The words fit them so well, she never meant to love him…she forbade herself to…but he reached for heart and marked it as his…there was nothing she could do but accept it back from him and try to fix what had been broken…she could never close the wound he inflicted on her…she didn't want to, because that's what made her feel alive…he made her feel alive.

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

The water feels warmer as it falls on her now and she smiles up at the moon…she can see couples looking incredulously at her from all around the campus…pointing and laughing at her actions, reminding her of the earliness of the hour…they think you're out of your mind…a voice tells her quietly and she shrugs; "…fuck them…" she chuckles out loud and runs her hands through her soaked hair…you can't stay here all night…the same voice tells her and she steps out of the fountain dripping wet and with a smile playing over her face…go home…her mind tells her; "…I plan on it…" she tells the voice still smiling…no, go home to Chase…the voice re-phrases and her smile vanishes.

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

"I need him" she argues weakly with herself, she's done this before…she's had this internal battle before…her mind always loses, why would tonight be any different…

But nothings greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

Her feet take her to him…she knows the path by heart…drop her off in the North Pole, spin her around numerous times until she losses all sense of direction and she'll still find her way back to him…she's like a bird, that only needs to fly South once to know that's where it belongs…that's where it's safe.

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

The voices take over her mind and she's struggling to keep herself calm as she stands at his doorway, dripping all over his floor and running her hands over her face to try and dry it a little.

She wants to knock, but the voices, her conscience, everything tells her not to. She knows there are a thousand situations she can find him in right now…

…he could be with Wilson…a voice reasoned shyly.

…he could be with a hooker…another offered shakily.

She sighed and leant her head forward until it hit the cool wooden door before her with a hard thudding sound, making her hiss and sob softly.

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

The lyrics still echoing through her mind, drowning out the voices and making her sigh, as she struggled to come to a decision about what to do next.

Before she can do anything at all, the door swings in front of her, knocking her off balance and sending her in an awkward falling motion and suddenly she feels like there's nothing she can do to stop it…there's nothing she wants to do…like when you're sitting and suddenly something in front of you falls and you just sit there and watch it happen in slow motion, you watch it fall and think: 'If only I reached out, I know I could get it before it hit the ground', but you don't…you just watch.

She doesn't hit the floor though; two strong arms have found their way around her waist and are currently holding her up. She shakes her head and looks up to find huge icy blue eyes staring down at her; "Are you okay?" he asks once she finds the strength to pull herself together and stands straight before him.

She shakes, the cold clothes on her body suddenly becoming painfully obvious compared to her rapidly heating body, her arms fly up and wrap themselves around her small form; "…I'm cold…" she whispers through greeted teeth.

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

He nods and takes a slow and steady breath, before nodding again, feeling nervous; "…one second…" he told her before walking to his bedroom and rummaging through a few drawers, before walking back out and into the bathroom carrying a pair of sweat-pants and a large sweater and a black t-shirt placing the clothes on the sink and disappearing for a few minutes to run the water on his tub.

Slowly she walked towards his bathroom, to find him turning the faucets, trying to find the perfect temperature; "…I'll go get you a washed towel…" he said standing straight and moving out of the bathroom, closing the door behind himself to keep the heat from the water steam in and make it a little less uncomfortable for her, giving her some privacy so she could get undressed and into the tub.

House was nervous; he hadn't been expecting her to show up at his place. He had gotten used to their unspoken agreement…only when it rains…and it hadn't rained, not tonight, it wouldn't rain for another two months, for God's sake and yet here she was…soaked and here with him.

He got a towel from the hall closet and went straight to his living room window, peering out noticed the dry street and frowned, struggling to make sense of what and how Cameron had gotten so soaked.

He walked back into the bathroom minutes later, to find her already inside the tub, but still wearing her clothes, her knees up to her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around them, while she shivered even when surrounded by the hot water.

"You weren't suppose to go in with the your clothes on…" he said in a uncharacteristically patient tone, placing the towel on the sink as well and carefully kneeling on the floor by the tub, hissing quietly as his tight met the cool tile on the side of it "…it kind of defeats the purpose…" he said with a smirk, his eyes staring deep into hers.

She blushed and looked away, resting her head on her knees and sighing deeply; "…you need to take them off, or you'll end up with pneumonia…" he told her softly, resting his forearms over the edge of the tub and letting his right hand dive into the water and slowly start to undo the laces on her snickers.

She nodded and lifted her foot, in order to help him slip it off of her foot, proceeding to do the same with her other one, all the while never looking at him.

After he finished with her snickers he removed her socks; "…can you undo your pants and slid them over your hips…" he asked quietly and she looked at him reluctantly, making him even more nervous "…so I can…" he said pointing at her legs and stumbling on his words "…ah…pull them the rest of the way…off…" he added in a slow whisper.

She moved slowly, undoing her jeans and pulling them over her hips, all the way to her knees, allowing him to pull them off the rest of the way; "…better…" he asked as he watched her close her eyes softly, surely enjoying the hot water surround her cold legs.

She nodded and looked down at her sweater clad chest and then up at him, meeting his eyes reluctantly and blushing slightly; he smiled softly; "…I can wait outside if you want…"…'cause I don't mind staying right here…he added mentally.

She shrugged; "…it's nothing you haven't seen before…" she murmured embarrassedly, but still not moving to remove the sweater.

He smirked slightly; "…but I can leave…" he said seriously and made a move to stand, but the feel her yet hand resting on his forearm made him stop and look down at her questioningly.

"Stay…" she whispered shyly and he obliged kneeling back down and resting his forearms on the edge of the tub again.

Sensing her uneasiness he smiled; "…here…" he said reaching for the dry t-shirt he had settled on the sink and holding it up for her "…take your sweater off and put this on instead…" he told her quietly "…I won't look…" he said resting his forehead on his left forearm and screwing his eyes shut.

And so Cameron removed her drenched sweater and reached for the t-shirt he was holding up for her, but as she pulled it from his grasp and he didn't release it she couldn't help but chuckle; "…you want to look…don't you…" she asked with the hint of a smile in her voice.

House sighed and nodded, still not moving his forehead from his forearm, making her chuckle and run her right hand through his messy short hair. House screwed his eyes shut and lifted his head, leaning it into her palm, but not opening his eyes; "…take it…" he said holding the t-shirt out for her again "…I'll keep my eyes closed…" he said with a small pout.

She bit her lower-lip; "...open your eyes…" she said placing her hand under his chin and covering her chest with her left arm.

He frowned, not opening his eyes; "…are you decent…" he asked seriously.

"Yes…" she dragged out with a smirk and he sighed and opened his eyes, with a small pout.

"I don't really want to look…" House argued weakly.

She chuckled; "…you really want to look, don't you…" she asked unable to stop smiling at him.

"Yeah…" he dragged out "…maybe just one long look…" he offered with a naughty grin "…you know…to get it out of my system…" he explained pointing towards her covered chest.

"To get my breasts out of your system…" she chuckled out.

"For now…" he explained "…I'd like to get them back into my system some time tonight…" he added with a wide smirk.

"One look…" she said shyly, blushing slightly.

"One long look…" he corrected with a sly smirk.

She rolled her eyes and dropped her arm slowly leaving her exposed, House held her gaze for a few moments, before slowly letting his eyes move to her bare chest.

He sighed contently, causing her to blush furiously; "…I like it when you blush…" he said absentmindedly, watching as it spread through her chest and travelled up her neck, finally settling on her cheeks.

"Are you done?" she asked shyly and he nodded and handed her the t-shirt, which she swiftly put on. Just as House was about to say something, Cameron spoke up "Don't say it…" she told him seriously.

He shrugged; "…they're pretty…" he told her sheepishly "…you should be happy about it, you have very, very pretty and…" he paused and raised his brows "…and perfect breasts…" he said resting his chin on the back of his right hand, that rested on the edge of the tub, making her blush even more.

"…Cameron…" he called out quietly, as he watched her rested back against the tub and hum in response "…what happened…" he asked in a whisper, his eyes locking on hers and plunging into the darkness of her very soul.

She looked away; "…I missed the rain…" she said quietly, making him smile, because he knew that was about as close as she would ever come to tell him she missed him.

"You were soaked…" he stated confusedly and watched as she sighed and sat forward, resting her chin on her knees.

"I went to the PPTH fountain…" she confessed shyly.

He chuckled remembering his own trip to that same fountain; "…you're pathetic…" he chuckled out, the insult more directed at him than at her.

She shrugged and sighed; "…I know…" she confessed lazily.

For the longest time they just stared into each others eyes, words unnecessary as their eyes held everything they needed to know about what had driven her to jump on a fountain and come see him.

Finally House nodded and rose to his feet, holding out his left hand for her. Cameron smiled and took it, standing carefully on his tub, the water dripping from her body as she stood before him completely exposed.

Never breaking their intense eye contact, House reached behind him and grabbed the towel, tenderly wrapping it around her shoulders and holding it closed under her chin.

After House thoroughly dried her off, with a shit-eating grin on his face and she had put the clothes he'd gotten for her on, they made their way to his bedroom, quickly settling into bed and each others arms.

"…I needed an excuse…" she confessed shyly onto his chest, her left hand smoothing gently over his heart.

House sighed quietly, his right hand running tenderly up and down her thigh, draped over both oh his. Turning his face and burying his nose in her golden hair, he took a deep breath; "…you're the only one who thinks you need an excuse to come stay with me…" he mumbled in a soft tone, his arms holding her tighter to him, as they drifted into sleep.

Cameron smiled widely, burying her face in the crook of his neck, feeling free for the first time in months, right there…tangled up in House's body, breathing him in and finally allowing herself to wonder…play with the idea of making this…them something regular and not just a passing thing…like the rain.

Please R&R...Because I'm a review Ho...lol