Frirst I need to thank magsby for giving me a huge help on this chapter, without her this would have been a disaster, so thank you so much, babe!
Lurve you!
Chapter 5:
The rest of the day went by achingly slow for House as he sat in his office replaying the image of Chase and Cameron together and being overtaken by thoughts of her in Chase's arms instead of his.
In the darkness of his office with The Rolling Stones blaring in his ears, he kept replaying his weekend with her and how it had felt to have a taste of what it could be like...what they could be like.
Memories of waking up with her warm body cradled against his, feeling her soft breaths on the inside of his elbow, or her small body stirring against his whenever she woke up. Then his mind wandered to Sunday morning…their last morning together.
He had planned to talk to her about their 'situation', he was going to ask her to make a decision, but after that phone call…House groaned at the memory of Chase's panicked voice sounding through his living room and ruining everything. House's heart stopped when she pulled away from him, like she couldn't bear to be in contact with him when her fiancé pleaded with her to go home and start over. Like everything that had happened between them during that weekend made her nauseous, when confronted with reality.
Tiredly, House ran a hand up and down his throbbing thigh, before reaching for his pocket and retrieving the orange vial, containing his only escape from his physical pain, tipping two pills onto his hand and dry-swallowing them hastily.
His hand returned to his maimed thigh and he continued to rub it, willing the vicodin to kick in faster. House sighed and leant his head back against the headrest of his recliner…I need to get her out of my mind…he thought to himself, closing his eyes and sighing exhaustedly.
After a good half hour had passed and the pain in his thigh had subsided as much as it ever would, he stood and started packing his things, before leaving his office and limping heavily towards the elevators.
House was leaving for the day when Wilson rushed into the elevator with him, much to his frustration; "…I was wondering…" Wilson started and House groaned exasperatedly "Soooo... I was thinking, maybe I could stop by and we could watch the game tonight...I'll bring beer and snacks…" Wilson offered.
"Sorry…hooker night…" House stated seriously.
Wilson sighed; "…House, come on…" Wilson stated exasperated.
House shook his head; "Gonna go home, call the agency and screw the brains out of some hot young…" he thought for a while, looking down at his sneakers "…definitely in the mood for a brunette tonight…" he murmured mostly to himself in a serious tone.
"Yes you are…" Wilson said knowingly, making House turn to glare at him for a minute, before dropping his gaze back to the floor.
House dropped his head and stared at his sneakers.
"…at least tell me what happened to your hand…" Wilson pleaded quietly.
House sighed and hit the emergency button with the end of his cane; "…I punched a door…" he confessed, still not looking up from his sneakers "…the reason why I punched a door, was because…Cameron and I had sex…" he paused and rubbed his scruffy chin tiredly "…we've been having sex for a while now…" he stated eyeing the door suspiciously "…we had been having sex…Chase knows…and…" pause "…I told her to make a decision and she…she made it…" House breathed out, before taking a deep breath and pressing the emergency button off, making the elevator shake slightly, resuming its descent.
Wilson was stunned silent by his friend's confession. He was only able to stay still and watch as House made his way out of the metal box and limp swiftly out of the hospital.
By the time House got home all he could think about was the way Chase's hand had trailed down Cameron's arm…his Cameron's arm…ergo his arm. House's mind was going a thousand miles per hour and he needed it to stop…desperately.
He rushed to his piano, hoping that would make his mind stop racing, he played for a few minutes, before once more she went to the front of his mind, making him groan, reach for the orange vial and pop another pill just for good measure, before laying his forehead against the cool surface of his baby grand and taking a deep breath to try and keep himself in check and stop the impending headache that threatened to overtake him.
After a few minutes and with an anguished sigh, he reached for his phone and scrolled his contact list for the number he hadn't used since he and Cameron had started having sex. After he'd placed his order he clenched the phone in his fist…it's not going to work…a voice echoed through his mind.
House growled and threw the phone against the wall behind his piano, watching it as it flew violently into the wall next to his guitar and shattered to pieces, before falling to the floor in a heap of broken plastic and rubber digits.
Limping to his kitchen he searched his cupboards for a bottle of scotch, he found it at last and unscrewed to cap, before taking it to his lips and taking a large swig of the bitter amber liquid. He placed it with a loud bang on the counter and winced slightly as the liquor burned its way down his throat.
He settled on his couch, bottle in hand and turned on his television, hoping the alcohol would provide enough of a diversion until the real distraction got there. But soon he was drifting off into a restless slumber.
Less than an hour later, there was a knock at his door, jolting him out of his nap and making him go to the door and there she was…a hot young brunette…a Cameron look-a-like. Wilson would surely point that out, but House didn't care…he needed a distraction and that's why she was there, to distract him.
He could barely look at her face, to anyone else the resemblance would be obvious, but he couldn't help to think that she failed in comparison to Cameron. The feel of her lips on his throat wasn't the same. Her lips weren't as tender. Her tongue wasn't as delicate, and her nips on his skin didn't drive him insane like Cameron's did. Her skin wasn't as soft, her hair smelled different and her scent wasn't sweet or tender, it was strong…too strong and he hated it…it was making it impossible for him to get hard.
"This was a bad idea…" House murmured pushing her away from him.
For the first time, their eyes connected and he noticed hers were a deep dark brown, making him sigh and close his eyes.
"What's the matter?" the young woman asked confused.
House sighed and looked down at the front his pants.
"It's not happening…" he stated simply.
She smiled coyly which made him sick to his stomach. She scooted down until she was kneeling between his parted knees, her hands smoothing down his thighs as she looked clinically at his opened fly clearly trying to access the problem in the most effective way possible. Even that was an obvious difference from Cameron. She never looked at him like he was nothing but a customer, just a pit-stop…no, she would never look at him like that.
"Give me a minute…I'll get you hard…" she whispered out and House sighed.
"…relax…" she whispered, which only in turn made him tense more.
House sighed tiredly rolling his head back onto the couch, closing his eyes in exhaustion. He knew calling the agency had been a mistake, but he just couldn't stop thinking about Cameron and Chase together. It made him feel sick. A growl escaped him as he felt her hands on him.
…what's your problem…there's a woman kneeling between your knees…why can't you stop thinking about her…
He sighed again, his eyes blinking open and studying the light and shadow playing out on the ceiling above him: a duel between the passing cars' headlights and the still darkness that came with the end of each day being disputed right above his head.
The room was flooded with darkness for a single second when no cars crossed the road outside. House narrowed his eyes, trying to adjust to the sudden absent of light; but just as his eyes began to distinguish the ceiling above from the wall ahead, a blinding flash of light ripped through the room and he screwed his eyes shut with all his strength, folowed by an angry growl coming from the clouds outside. The sudden brightness was burning his pupils, but what he saw behind locked eyelids made his heart jump and his breath catch.
Coming at him was what he could only recognise as the ethereal face of the woman who broke his heart. From the darkness of his mind, he swore he could see her alabaster face gazing upon him, a tender smile on her lips as the image kept closing in on him until it finally vanished. His mind was once again drowned in the gloominess of his sorrow.
And suddenly he could hear the rain coming down outside his window, the sound increasing and almost deafening as it hit his windows and poured heavily onto the concrete road.
Finally, he opened his eyes and lifted his head suddenly: his breath ragged, pulse wild, and questions flew around in his brain.
"I can't do this…" he breathed out, squirming his body away from the woman's grasp, pressing himself into the back of the couch hoping to somehow fuse into it and avoid all contact with her.
Her reply made him jump off the couch and struggle to compose himself. "I can't see why not…" she whispered seductively kneeling back on the balls of her feet.
"…you say no, but your body says otherwise…" she said getting up and prowling towards him, instantly making him step back to escape her.
He held up his left hand to stop her advance. "This was a mistake…" he whispered looking over the window, watching the rain outside and shaking his head slowly. "…you have to go…" he stated louder than before, sounding harsher than he had intended.
The woman frowned at him and shook her head confusedly; but before she could say anything else, there was a knock at the door and they both tensed immediately. There was a second knock followed by a muffled plea. "House, please open the door…" He recognised the voice instantly and his heart seemed to calm right away, the sound of her gentle voice swept through him like an antidote, the cure to all his aches.
"You're not getting that?" she asked, reminding House that he wasn't alone…oh no…he shouted mentally as his eyes fell on the distraction he'd hired to keep from thinking about Cameron.
"She can't see you…" was his first response, his breathing was laboured and he could feel the thin layer of perspiration gathering over his brow.
"Greg…please…" he heard her sigh from outside his door, her voice muffled by the storm.
The mix of pain and fear present in her tone made him take action. Ignoring the consequences, he stalked to his front door and opened it, quickly stepping outside while closing the door behind him and nearly bumping into Cameron as he did so.
"House…" she questioned him confusedly, but before she could formulate her question House closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to hers: his cane falling to the floor as his hands rested on the base of her neck, his fingertips caressing her smooth skin as his lips moved desperately over hers, longing to feel her warmth and love and calm heal him
Cameron kissed back just as desperately, her hands holding his head against hers, as she gave back just as much as she got from him.
House's heart sunk in his chest when he tasted a salty tear, his hands snaking around her soaked body and holding her tightly against him. With an anguished sigh, she pulled back and hugged him, her arms heavy from the water drenched clothes locking around him like a vice as she buried her wet face in his neck and sobbed quietly. "I'm sorry…" she whispered against his neck and the words hit him like a ton of bricks. "I'm so sorry for letting you push me away…for leaving…" she sobbed into his skin, her tears warm dampening the side of his neck even more as the grip around his heart squeezed even tighter, making it hard for him to breathe.
"Don't apologise to me…" House whispered shakily, his arms closing tighter around her, afraid that if he loosened his hold on her just one bit she would be gone again and this time for good. "…I don't deserve it…" he said in a drained breath.
Cameron lifted her head to look into his eyes, but they were closed and she moved her moist hands to cup his scruffy cheeks lovingly, willing them to open. When he kept them closed, she frowned. "…I made my decision…" she stated quietly, this should make him happy, but he could hear the smile in her voice and it tore at his soul…if he still had one. He was beginning to doubt that…"I broke everything off with him…" The second her words escaped, he sighed exasperatedly and dropped his forehead to her shoulder.
Her expression turned into one of complete panic as she found herself unable to read his reactions to what she was telling him. "I'm yours, Greg…" she said lifting his head from her shoulder. "…please look at me…"she pleaded worriedly, shaking in his arms as the breeze hit her soaked clothes and seeped into her.
He shook his head and groaned in agony. "You left…" he said not letting go of her. "…you went to him…" he breathed out, opening his eyes but never meeting hers.
Cameron smiled weakly and shook her head. "No…I didn't go to him…" she said quickly "…I went to a friend's house…" she added desperately "…I spent the night on her couch…" she finished trying to soothe him, hoping that the truth would somehow make him forgive her.
Her explanation might as well have been a thousand daggers stabbing his chest as her words entered his mind and he realised how great of a mistake he'd made.
She tensed in his arms and a low rippling sound escaped her lips as her eyes began to water again. "…what…uhh…what did you do…" she stammered out, fighting back the tears as she struggled to form her words slowly and push them through the lump in her throat.
House released a shaky and ragged breath before meeting her eyes for the first time that night. They shone with unshed tears and already he could feel his body ache with what would happen when he said what he knew he had to say to her, the warmth she'd brought to him all but gone, leaving him just as cold as she had become with the rain that fell upon her as she made her away back to him.
"Greg…" she whispered out, and just when his name stopped echoing through the small gap between them, the sound of a phone ringing from inside his home startled her and made House tense.
As the sound of a female voice answering the phone reached them outside, Cameron gasped and House tightened his hold on her. "No Allison…" House pleaded when she placed her hands on his chest, pushing him away from her. "…Allison, listen to me, please…" he whispered keeping her close to him for as long as possible.
"Let go of me!" she ordered seriously squirming in his embrace, wishing she had never gone there.
In an attempt to get her to stop, he pushed her up against a wall and pressed his body to hers. "I'm sorry, Allison…please believe me…" he begged her, his eyes pleading with hers.
Cameron turned her head away; she couldn't stand to keep looking into his eyes. Blindly, she started hitting him until her left knee made contact with his half-thigh and he groaned in pain, his hands clutching his thigh as she stood there before him, her heart beating slowly…too slowly. Her breath was scarce and her body felt frozen.
"Cameron…" he whispered through gritted teeth, his eyes searching hers for a sign of love or concern, but found none, instead they were cold and hollow.
"Forget I ever came here…" she murmured before she gathered enough strength to pull herself off the wall and drag the shell of her body, through the pouring rain and back to her car.
House limped awkwardly after her, stumbling on his own feet and slumping against the threshold of his building. "Allison…" he called out through the thick rain crashing down from the sky on them as he watched her walk through the storm, hugging her arms around herself. "Allison..." he whispered as he stood there watching her back getting smaller and smaller with each step she took to get away from him and eventually dissapearing amongst the thick raindrops...not looking back, not even once.
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