A/N: Would I really be here if I owned Disney or FMA? No, I would be somewhere spending my tones of money *_*.
Note: Wrath (in the original movie: Shan-Yu, the leader of huns) is Fuhrer Bradley- manga/brotherhood verse :D.
Thanks to PokemonFreak90, whereami2012,Moonlight Tiger, Tk hale and CrescentSnow for reviewing!
Enjoy:
Pinako woke up suddenly. She felt something.
She went to Riza's room. The girl wasn't there. She fought the panic that flew over her and ran to Berthold's room.
"Riza's gone!" she told the sleeping parents. They got up at once.
"What? It can't be."
He saw the comb where the conscription notice was supposed to be. He ran outside calling her name, than stumbled and spitted blood.
"No."
"You must go after her! She could be killed!" said Riza's mother, kneeling near Berthold.
"If I reveal her, she will be" he responded, sadness in his voice.
"Ancestors, hear our prayer: watch over Riza" sighed Pinako.
…..
Hearing Pinako's prayers, the ancestors told Edward Elric, the gong ringer dragon to wake up the Great Stone Dragon.
When he tried to wake it, Edward accidentally broke the stone that represented the dragon, immediately breaking the contact with it's spirit.
"Great Stone Dragon, have you awaken?" asked one of the ancestors.
"Uhh, yes, I just woke up!" said Edward using the dragon's stone head, the only part that was still whole.
"Go, the fate of the Hawkeye family rests in your claws!"
"Don't even worry about it, I won't lose face!" Edward said and sat on the ground. "Great, just great! I'm doomed! And all because miss man decided to take her little drag show on the road!"
He decided than. Edward was not a self absorbed creature, but he knew when to get advantages.
And if he could bring Riza back alive, or even better, help her through the whole circus, he could get his pedestal back. That meant he wouldn't have to help the ancestors, they would have to help him.
"It's decided" he said smiling, and took off after her.
…..
Wrath and his army were at the edge of a forest.
Kimblee and Archer brought two Chinese men.
"Imperial scouts" said Kimblee with a cruel grin.
"Wrath" said one of the scouts.
"Nice work, gentlemen. You found the Hun army" said Wrath, making the other Huns laugh cruel.
"The emperor will stop you" said the other scout.
Wrath grabbed his collar growled.
"Stop me? He invited me! By building his wall, he challenged my strength. Well, I'm here to play his game. Go!" he said letting go of the scout, "Tell your emperor to send his strongest armies. I'm ready."
The two scouts started running as fast they could.
"How many men does it take to deliver a message?" asked Wrath scratching his chin.
"One" replied Archer, and he aimed to kill one of the scouts.
…
Riza was outside the camp with her horse and Black Hayate.
"Okay, how about this? Ahem" she said in a manly voice, "excuse me, where do I sign in? I see you have a sword. I have one too! They're very manly and tough"
She tried to take her sword out while talking, and ended up dropping it.
"Who am I fooling?" she sighed, "It's going to take a miracle to get me into the army"
"DID I HEAR SOMEONE ASK FOR A MIRCALE? Let me hear you say AYE!" Edward said, his huge dragon shadow projected on a rock.
"AHHH!" she screamed hiding behind a rock.
"That's close enough" said Edward.
"Who are you?" asked Riza, getting pretty pissed, after the initial shock.
"Who am I? Who am I? I am the guardian of lost souls! I am the powerful , the pleasurable, the indestructible…."
Edward stopped, to come out from behind the rock. Riza snorted. THAT was the great dragon?
He was so…
"You're, uh…"
"Intimidating?"
"Tiny."
"WHAT? Who are you calling so small that he can live in a matchbox?"
"I…I never said that. You're just like a little blonde lizard."
Edward growled.
"Of course. I'm travel size for your convenience. If I was my real size, your cow here" he said nodding towards Riza's horse, "would die of fright. My powers are beyond your mortal imagination."
"Let me guess, you can use alchemy" she said unimpressed.
"…for instance, I can use alchemy. Or I can see trough your armor!" continued Edward.
Riza blinked two times. Did the little lizard just say he was looking trough her armor?
She punched him, and he fell on the ground whining.
"Ow. That's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on this, dishonor on you, dishonor your cow, dish…"
"Stop!" Riza said covering Edward's mouth with her hands. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm just nervous. I've never done this before."
"Than you'll have to trust me. And don't slap me again, okay? All right. Let's move it."
There was something about this Edward bean that she liked. She wasn't sure why, but she trusted him. It's not like she had too much of a choice.
They entered the camp. Riza looked around. Men everywhere. Damn.
"Okay, that's it, time to show them your manly walk. Shoulders back, chest high, feet apart, head up."
She ended up looking like she had some limbs broken.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Edward said as they entered a tent.
"They are disgusting" Riza mumbled looking at the dirty, weird, and most important creepy men. How did she end up doing this?
Oh, yes, all thanks to Yoki, the annoying, and Wrath, the freak that was leading the Huns.
"No, they're men" replied Edward. "And you're going to have to act just like them so pay attention"
….
"Look, this tattoo will protect me from harm" said a soldier.
Two others were looking at him with interest.
The blonde one punched the tattooed one, making the other laugh.
"I hope you can get your money back" the tall one with grey hair said.
"I don't think I can do this" Riza mumbled.
"It's all about attitude. Be though, like this guy here" Edward replied, nodding towards the blonde one.
"What are you looking at?" the blonde guy asked Riza, noticing her stare. He lit a cigar.
"Punch him, it's how men say hello" Edward whispered, and Riza punched the blonde soldier in the shoulder, making him drop his cigar. Another soldier caught him as he fell.
"Oh, Havoc, you've made a friend" the small soldier with glasses said.
"Good, now slap him on the behind, they like that" Edward added.
Riza ended up slapping Havoc's butt, making him jump.
"Wo ho hoo" Havoc said, grabbing Riza's collar. "I'm going to punch you so hard, it will make your ancestors dizzy!"
"Havoc, relax!" said the small one grabbing Havoc. "Breathe in, breathe out. Feel better?"
"Yeah" replied the blonde one. "You aren't worth my time, chicken boy"
"Chicken boy? WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT YOU THOUGHT I WAS A CHICKEN? Say that to my face, you limb noodle!" Edward said loudly.
Riza gasped. Damn.
Havoc grabbed Riza by the collar and tried to punch her. She ducked in the last second, and Havoc ended up hitting the grey haired one.
"Oh, sorry Falman. Hey!"
He grabbed Riza once again, but right then Falman kicked him, making him fall over the soldier with glasses. Falman turned to kick Riza, but she ducked again, so he fell next to Havoc.
"You're dead!" Falman said, and they started fighting.
Riza slipped away, and ran.
'This is insane! How am I supposed to go through this for several weeks? And fight the Huns. And stay alive. And not be discovered. Damn.'
"There he is!" Falman noticed her.
They ran and cornered her near a tent.
"Hey, guys" she mumbled horrified, seeing the three men approach.
She was so dead.
…
Riza didn't notice Yoki, they guy that brought her father the conscription, enter the tent near them. Inside were General Fu and Roy.
"The Huns have struck here, here and here." The general said moving some pawns on a map. "I will take the main troops up to the Tung Shao Pass and stop Wrath before he destroys this village"
"Excellent strategy, sir. I do love surprises, ha ha ha" Yoki said and the other two men ignored him.
"You will stay here and train the new recruits" the general continued. "When Yoki believes you're ready, you'll join us…colonel."
He gave Roy a sword.
"Colonel?" replied Roy in shock.
"Oh, this is an enormous responsibility, general. Uh, perhaps a soldier with more experience…" Yoki tried to say, but Fu raised a dismissive hand.
"Number one in his class, extensive knowledge of training techniques, an impressive military lineage, AND knows flame alchemy. I believe Roy Mustang will do an excellent job."
"Oh, yes, I will" said Roy excited. "I won't let you down…this is.. I mean…yes sir" he ended soberly.
He couldn't show his emotions. He had to be though.
"Very good then" replied Fu, "We'll toast China's victory at the imperial city." He turned towards Yoki. "I expect a full report in three weeks."
"And I won't let anything out" Yoki mumbled, more to Roy.
"Colonel Roy Mustang, hmm, leader of China's finest troops. No, the greatest troops of all times." Roy chuckled to himself.
He walked out of the tent, just to see all his recruits fighting. They stopped as they saw him and the general and saluted, some of them failing to stand.
"Good luck colonel" said Fu and left along with his troops, on white horses.
"Good luck father" mumbled Roy to himself. He looked at the troops and sighed.
"Day one" smirked Yoki writing something down.
"Soldiers!" shouted Roy.
They all backed up and pointed at a very scared Riza.
"He started it!" one of them said.
Roy approached the men, and Riza got up quickly. She didn't want to be taken as a week one. Or a loser. Or whatever men thought about men that were beaten up on the first day. She brushed the dirt off her clothes and look at the man in front of her.
He seemed like the captain or something.
"I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp" Roy said in a puissant way.
'Yeah, he is absolutely the boss around here' Riza decided.
"Sorry…" she said, than gasped and tried to thicken her voice. "Erm, I mean sorry you had to see that!" she tapped him on the shoulder. "You know how it is when men you get those…uh, manly urges, and you just have to kill something…fix things…uhh, cook outdoors!"
'I'm so dead'
"What's your name?" he asked her.
"Ahh, uhhm, ahm."
She hadn't thought of that. Damn Edward for appearing and breaking her thoughts line outside the camp.
"Your commanding officer has just asked you a question" Yoki said and Riza fought the urge to punch him.
The bastard, here he was again fucking with her life.
"Uhh, I've got a name. Uhm, and it's a boy name too"
"Falman, how about Falman?" said Edward from behind.
"His name is Falman" mumbled Riza nodding towards the grey haired guy.
"I didn't ask for his name. I asked for yours" replied Roy giving her a stern look.
What was up with this guy? He was rather strange. And he was way too…pretty. Roy could swear that if he was dressed in a woman's clothes, you couldn't tell he was a male.
"Try ah, ah Chu!" said Edward.
"Ah Chu" said Riza confused.
"Ah Chu?" asked Roy raising an eyebrow.
"Bless you" replied Edward chuckling and Riza growled. She didn't have time for messing around!
"Edward!" growled Riza.
"Edward?" asked Roy, getting really pissed. This guy was messing with him.
"No."
"Than what is it?"
"Alphonse! Al was my best friend growing up!"
"It's Alphonse."
"Alphonse."
"Let me see your conscription note." Roy said. "Hawkeye. THE Hawkeye? "
"I didn't know Berthold Hawkeye had a son" mumbled Yoki disgusted.
"Um, he doesn't talk about me much"
"I can see why, the boy's a complete lunatic" Yoki told Roy, who chose to ignore him once again.
"Okay, gentlemen, thanks to your new friend Alphonse, you'll spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice. And tomorrow, the real work begins. "
All the soldiers growled at Riza, who tried to be as small as she could.
"You know, we have to work on your people skills" said Edward coming out of Riza's armour.
"Whatever" she mumbled, too tired to argue.
That was two XD.
Review?