Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or lyrics used.

Lyrics are Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson

This is an Alex centred chapter

Alex had walked into the bar with a real intent to get drunk. Her first thought was to get high but she didn't have any stuff on her and she wasn't ready to go back to Jay's. She waited for the barman to become available and ordered a drink. The barman placed the bottle in front of Alex and she nodded thanks. She took a big gulp and asked the barman for a shot. While she was waiting, she was mindlessly puling the label off the bottle while staring at the line of spirits behind the bar. She didn't notice the shot glass but when she realised, she drank it and ordered another while continuing to drink the beer.

There was a jukebox at the other side of the bar to where Alex was sitting. The next song that came on excited a couple of girls. Alex rolled her eyes as one of them squealed, "This is my favourite Kelly Clarkson song." The girls started to sing along like they were at karaoke.

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong

Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Alex downed the shot she had and while she was waiting for her next drink, she started to pay attention to the lyrics for the first time since it started playing.

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside

'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

This was the first time she had really listened to the lyrics and though her eyes weren't hazel, everything else seemed to be how she felt. A weird feeling struck over her and she laughed, sarcastically to herself.

Alex heard her phone ringing. She pulled it from her jeans pocket and looked at the ID before answering.

"Hello Jay."

"Hey Alex. I'm going to pick up some food on my way back from work, do you want anything?"

"No, thanks. I'm gonna be back late so I'll just see you later."

Jay had sensed something was up from her voice. "Are you ok?" He asked.

"Yeah, just peachy."

"Lexi, you can't hide anything from me. Don't let it get you down too much. Just remember what I said last night"

---Flashback---

Jay and Alex were sitting on Jay's sofa drinking beers. Alex had gone quiet at this stage and she wasn't really engaging herself in a conversation with Jay.

"So many things have changed in the past couple of years Lexi. You're a lesbian and I'm actually working and it's a job I love. I'm going to own a business, that's the plan. We can get out of this together and change it all. You went back to Degrassi to get extra credits, don't give up on the reason why you did that in the first place. Don't let princess steer you off course or even your mum for that matter."

Jay looked at the beer in his hand "Ok, I need to stop drinking and go to bed as I have work in the morning." Jay chuckled to himself. "I'm going to work." Jay kissed Alex on the cheek. "Goodnight Lexi."

Alex didn't respond and remained on the couch. She finished the beer she started drinking before deciding to try and get some sleep.

---End Flashback---

"You actually remember that."

"I wasn't drunk, I just had a lot to say. I was talking sense and you know it."

"Whatever you think. I'm gonna come off the phone now, bye." Alex hung the phone before Jay had the chance to say anything in response. Alex sat at the bar, mulling over the words Jay had said, the previous night.

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