Things were surprisingly quiet, however, it was anything but calm when we left. Eric and Donna were quietly freaking out in the kitchen, which is what made us leave.
Spencer hopped in the car while we stood in the driveway, Steven gives me this look, and shakes his head. "S'crazy in there."
I shrug. "I think she's full of it."
"Who?" He looks confused.
I sigh. "/Jenny/."
"Why would she lie about that?" Steven asks. "I don't think she purposely wants to get in trouble."
"She knows she'll get to see Chad if she does," I say. "It's just her being a... stupid teenager. Obviously I've been there. She thinks she's in love, and she's not. And if she is, he surely isn't the right guy anyways."
"That's pretty smart comin' from you," Steven says, raising his eyebrows.
I return the look. "And what's that s'posed to mean?"
Steven shrugs and grins, shaking his head again. "So, you're going to Italy then."
I nod. "Yeah, in a little bit. Paul gave me his consent. Which is what I needed."
"Hmm." He's looking at the pavement and I feel like I can read his mind.
With Steven, I just know how he works. I grew accustomed to him when we were friends, together, and... well, now. He hasn't changed a bit. I, on the other hand, feel like I'm a completely different person. Or maybe I'm just expressing myself in different ways. Maybe it's the kids. Who knows.
"How long you gonna be there for?" Steven asks me.
"Mmm, two weeks. Maybe a little longer." I look at him, daring him to look at me. He doesn't. "Steven."
"What."
I shrug. "I don't know."
He shrugs, too. "You should probably get going. It's late."
"Same goes for you," I say, feeling stupid.
He just smiles, looking down as he walks to his car. He's acting shy, and I don't know why. That's so unlike him.
"Steven," I call out to him as he's about to get in.
"What?"
I walk over to him. "What's wrong with you?"
"I don't know. Didn't realize there was."
"You're being shy." I eye him, smiling subtly. "I didn't think you could be."
He weirdly looks around in an attempt to roll his eyes. "Nah. Just tired."
"Huh." I giggle, and look at him. "Really."
"Mom!" Spencer's voice rings out, and I remember her.
"Well, we couldn't stay in Forman's driveway forever," he says. "I'll see you later, Jackie."
Steven turns away, and I walk towards him and turn him around towards me.
"What?" he asks me.
"You're so stupid," I say. Then, I wrap my arms around his shoulders, kiss him, and hold on to him for a few seconds. After I pull away, I see him grinning at me.
"Nah," he says, getting in his car. "I'm not stupid." He smiles and closes the door. My heart flutters, but I know that shouldn't matter. My daughter's in the car, and she comes first.
Spencer sighs as I get in the car. "About time."
"I'm sorry, honey," I say. "We were catching up."
"Yeah, yeah," Spencer says. "I saw."
"Oh." I'm not quite sure what to say.
"So, are you like... with him or something then?" She sounds almost... hurt.
As we get on the road, I think about it. "I really don't know."
Spencer is quiet for a minute, then: "Does Dad know?"
I shrug, shaking my head slightly. "No. He wouldn't care, though."
"Yeah, he would," Spencer mutters. "He would."
"Why do you say that?" I ask.
Spencer looks at me funny. "He loves you. And I thought you loved him."
"Baby, things change. I've tried to explain it to you, but it's probably hard to understand," I say. "Your father doesn't care much for me; it's pretty obvious."
"No," Spencer says. It's the way she said it... plain and simple, but with a slight edge to it.
It's quiet for a few minutes, until Spencer speaks up.
"This kills, Mom," she says.
"What's that?" I ask.
"This divorce. I don't... I..." She looks helpless. "Nothing. Are we almost home?"
I nod, and don't say much else. I don't quite understand how to tell Spencer exactly how everything works, because I honestly don't know much about it either. Maybe that's just the way things work. I didn't know what the hell was going on when my mother left most of the time. And when my dad got sent to prison... I had no idea what had become of my life. That's why I wanted things to be simple for my kids. Clearly, things like this aren't always instigated by one person. It just inevitably happens. And it sucks.
When we get home, we get out of the car. Spencer gets out, and I go to the other side where she is standing, and I hug her. She hugs me back, and I think she's crying. I feel terrible, but I don't know what to do.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The next day, Molly stops by in tears.
"Moll?" I ask when she walks into the kitchen.
She sits down at the table and sighs. "He's gone."
"Paolo?" I ask.
She nods. "And Dario."
I bite my lip and nod slowly. "Okay. So, maybe we can buy tickets now? If we want to go as soon as possible, which I would say is like... two weeks, maybe?"
"Yeah. As soon as possible." She wipes her eyes.
"Well, Spence and Ash should be happy to hear that," I say.
"Guess so," she says sadly, looking at her hands.
I sigh. "Molly, he's a guy. You haven't known him for too long, and his home is in Italy."
"I /know/, Mom," Molly says exasperatedly. "It's just unfair."
"You kind of brought it upon yourself," I admit.
"Not really," Molly says. "It just kind of happened."
I don't want to argue with her, or make her more sad, so we buy tickets. We'll be in Italy in exactly sixteen days.
I tell Spencer and she automatically becomes ecstatic, as though last night never happened. Asher is still at his friend's house, but I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that he and Spencer can start counting down the days.
Then, I call Paul to notify him, and he agrees, albeit grudgingly.
I can tell that Molly is extremely anxious. I think she's too dependent. I remember when I was like that. I didn't feel right when I wasn't with my boyfriend. However, I learned that independence is important when living your life, and I think she'll realize that as she gets older. Putting your heart into something so irrational, at that, is almost... irresponsible. I just feel bad for her, but I feel like if I tell her this, she'll feel insulted. I just don't want her getting hurt. God knows it was bad enough after the Scott thing.
I hope that the next few weeks fly by. I can't wait to just get out of here.